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The Christian Habits Podcast
The Christian Habits Podcast
Author: Barb Raveling
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© copyright 2014 Barb Raveling
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Do you ever feel like you can’t change no matter how hard you try? On the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about biblical transformation through the renewing of the mind. This is a practical, hands-on podcast that will help you break free from the things that control you: things like bad habits, idolatry, overeating, and negative emotions such as worry, insecurity, anger, and stress. We’ll also talk about how to develop a close relationship with God as we develop the habit of going to Him for help with life.
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A couple of months ago, I sent out a survey asking which lies people struggle with the most—today’s lie came in #1: “It shouldn’t be this hard to change.” The next two? “I’ll never change” and “I can’t do this anyway, so why bother?”
What’s interesting is that those second two lies come after repeated failure. But today’s lie—“It shouldn’t be this hard to change”—actually causes the failure.
Why? Because if we believe change should be easy, we won’t put in the work required for real transformation. Let’s dig into this idea and replace the lie with biblical truth.
Why We Believe Change Should Be Easy
This lie shows up most often when we’re trying to break a habit—but typically only at the very beginning of the journey. Once you’ve worked on change long enough, you learn (from experience!) that change is supposed to be hard. But if you’re new to the process or haven’t seen much progress yet, you’re far more likely to believe the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change.
So where does this belief come from?
1. Our Culture—Especially Marketing
We live in a world that constantly tells us: Buy this product. Start this program. Take this course. It will be easy! Marketing promises quick, effortless transformation. That seeps into our thinking, so we assume change should just “happen”—no struggle, no sacrifice. It shouldn’t be hard to change…
2. Misunderstanding Christian Growth
Sometimes, in the church, we unintentionally absorb the belief that spiritual growth should be easy, too—almost effortless. We think if we go to church, join a Bible study, or attend a small group, we’ll naturally glide into spiritual maturity.
But that’s not how the Bible describes transformation. It uses words like training, fighting, resisting, disciplining, and battling.
Real change takes intentional effort, spiritual weapons, and daily engagement with God.
We Also Misunderstand What “Hard Work” Really Is
Many of us think trying our hardest means “showing up,” like my husband did one day in high school when he told his mom he got a C on a test.
“Well, you tried your best,” she said—except he hadn’t studied at all. Lesson learned? That effort meant simply being present. But effort is more than that, especially in spiritual growth.
Breaking a stronghold, uprooting a generational sin, rewiring long-held thought patterns, or resisting a habit you’ve practiced for decades—all of that is hard work.
A More Accurate Picture: Training for a Marathon
If someone told you to run a marathon in six months, you wouldn’t think, “I’ll just show up that day.” You’d know it required effort, planning, discipline, and sacrifice. Yet we rarely apply that same mindset to our spiritual or emotional habits—even though the Bible clearly portrays transformation as a spiritual battle.
The Truth We Need
If I’m trying to change a stronghold, a generational sin, a long-term habit, or a behavior fueled by years of thinking, it will be extremely hard—and that’s completely normal.
Hard doesn’t mean impossible. Hard doesn’t mean God isn’t with you. Hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Hard simply means you’re fighting a real battle.
What the Bible Says About Hard Change
Hebrews 12 is a perfect picture of this struggle. It reminds us that resisting sin is painful, that discipline doesn’t feel good in the moment, and that even Jesus sweat drops of blood in His fight against temptation.
But it also reminds us that discipline produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).
That harvest is coming—if we don’t give up.
How to Renew Your Mind for This Lie
When it comes to working hard on growth in the areas God wants us to change, that hard work looks like lots of renewing our mind—multiple times a day.
Towards the end of the podcast episode, I share some different ways to renew your mind for the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change. I give an example for Scripture meditation, truth journaling, and using the Tired of the Struggle questions from my book, Renewing of the Project.
Here are the truths I shared in the podcast as examples of what you could write down when you’re truth journaling the lie, It shouldn’t be this hard to change. The last truth is a truth journal entry from my 2002 journal! :
Belief: It shouldn’t be this hard to change.
Truths:
That’s crazy. Of course it’s this hard to change! I’ve been doing this for 40 years now! It’s hard to change years and years of thinking one way and doing things one way because of the thoughts. If I want to change I need to get down to the fundamentals and change the way I think. That is not going to be easy.
It’s not that hard to make dinner, change my clothes, or play a game. It IS hard to break free from a stronghold or a generational sin. And it’s crazy hard to change years and years of the same old thoughts that are fueling the negative emotions that are driving this behavior Of course it’s going to take work to change! I’m being delusional when I think it won’t!
If it was hard for Jesus – who was 100% God in addition to being 100% man – to withstand temptation, how hard will it be for me?! He sweat tears of blood in his fight against sin. Can I not at the very minimum renew my mind 2-3 times a day to fight this behavior? Thanks be to God, He know exactly what I’m going through and is willing to help. But he expects me to work alongside him.
Barb’s Journal – 1/18/02 (23 years ago!!!) – Belief: Losing weight should be easy and fun – so should everything else in life! I shouldn’t have to suffer. [I hadn’t refined truth journaling yet as I wrote just one truth for three sentences!] TRUTH: It should be easy and fun, but it’s not! It may be that way for people who like to exercise and thrive on that sort of thing, but not for me. For me it is TORTURE and MISERY!!! Expect it!! [Note: tell them I didn’t really write the truth – I no longer believe it should be fun and easy – so God sometimes gives us truth in layers. For those who say they don’t know what the truth is – if you keep going God will show you it at a deeper and deeper level.
Listen to the podcast for more insights and to renew your mind along with me!
If you have a friend who is struggling with change in some area of their lives, please share this post or podcast episode with them.
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Lie: It Shouldn’t Be This Hard to Change appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever noticed how quickly a desire turns into a justification?
That looks good—so I should eat it.That sounds fun—so I should do it.I feel like it—so why not?
This lie shows up everywhere, especially in the habits we struggle with: overeating, overspending, over-scrolling, overworking… basically anything where desire takes the wheel and drives us somewhere we later regret.
Often people tell me, “I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t pinpoint the lie I’m believing.” This makes it hard to truth journal because we need to begin with a lie if we want to put the truth to it.
In today’s Christian Habits Podcast episode, I cover a lie you can always use to truth journal whenever you feel like breaking your boundaries with a habit: I want to do this, so I should.
At its core, this lie is about desire: we want something. When we believe this lie, we assume that desire equals permission.
But desire isn’t a good decision-maker.
Where the Lie Comes From
Culture constantly tells us: Follow your heart. You deserve it. Live your truth. And while that might work when our desires are healthy, it’s a terrible strategy when our desires lead us toward sin, addiction, struggles with our health and finances, relationship problems, and regret.
God never designed desire to be our leader. He designed it to be something we steward.
A Better Way to Live
Romans 13:14 gives us a completely different approach:
“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regards to its lusts.”
That means:
1. Put on ChristTalk to Him. Ask for help. Sit with Him instead of your temptation.
2. Make no provision for the fleshIn today’s words: Make your habit hard to do, and obedience easy to do.
Ask yourself:
When am I most tempted?
How can I create roadblocks that make indulging difficult?
Where can I move, limit, or remove access to the habit?
For example: If your phone derails your day, stop keeping it nearby. No social media before a certain time. Put it in another room during work hours.
Small barriers create big freedom.
Renewing Your Mind
Here are a few truths you can use when you’re truth journaling today’s lie:
Just because I want something doesn’t mean I should do it.
My life is better when I live by design, not desire.
One little indulgence isn’t harmless—it reinforces the idea that I have no boundaries.
If I did everything I felt like doing, my life would be a mess.
God’s desires for me lead to joy, health, and freedom.
Transformation doesn’t happen by willpower. It happens by renewing your mind—catching the lie, replacing it with truth, and practicing that truth one decision at a time.
And over time?
Desire stops driving the car. Wisdom does. Truth does. Faith does. God does.
And that is when real change begins.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast! I’ll give you a chance to renew your mind and go more in depth on the topic. I also share three of my own journal entries on this lie – dating back to 2006!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Indulgence questions from the Stopping a Habit section of the Renewing of the Mind Project
How to Listen to the Podcast (Christian Habits)
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts
Listen or subscribe on Android
Listen or subscribe on Stitcher
Listen or subscribe on YouTube Music
Listen or subscribe on Spotify
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Lie: I Want to Do This (So I Should) appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever wondered how to study the Bible in a way that actually feels approachable—and even enjoyable? In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I had the joy of sitting down with Ellen Krause, Ashley Armijo, and Taylor Mitchell—the inspiring mother-daughter team behind the Coffee and Bible Time ministry—to talk about their new book, The Easy Bible Study Method.
These three women are passionate about helping others connect with God through Scripture in a simple, grace-filled way. Whether you’re brand new to Bible study or have struggled with consistency, this conversation is packed with encouragement and practical tools that can help you develop a quiet time that fits your life and strengthens your faith.
What We Discussed on the Podcast
How the Easy Bible Study Method helps with ADHD and boredom
How to use the Easy Bible Study Method to know God better and grow closer to Him
Tips for developing a consistent quiet time habit
How to avoid perfectionism with quiet times
Differences between Bible in a year vs. studying small amounts of Scripture
This conversation is a gentle reminder that Bible study doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating. When we approach God’s Word with open hearts and simple tools, we find joy, peace, and the life-changing presence of Jesus—right in the middle of our busy, everyday lives.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Coffee and Bible Time website and online community
Coffee and Bible Time YouTube channel
The Easy Bible Study Method: A Guide to Understanding, Applying, and Delighting in God’s Word by Ashley Armijo, Taylor Krause, and Ellen Krause
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Authors
ASHLEY ARMIJO is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time, a ministry that helps women learn how to delight in God’s Word and thrive in Christian living. She is an alumna of the Moody Bible Institute with a Bachelor of Science in Integrated Ministry Studies. It is Ashley’s passion to teach women how to study and delight in God’s Word whether that is online through Coffee and Bible Time or opening up her home to young women in the community.
ELLEN KRAUSE aka Mentor Mama, is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time with daughters Ashley and Taylor. She hosts the CBT Podcast, which equips people to delight in God’s Word and thrive in Christian Living! Ellen has been involved in women’s ministry for over 20 years and mentors women worldwide through CBT. Her MA in marketing and her years in corporate America help CBT flourish.
TAYLOR MITCHELL is cofounder of Coffee and Bible Time. She holds a bachelor’s degree in pre-counseling and has devoted herself to extensive academic and personal study of the Bible. She is passionate about helping women apply biblical principles to their everyday lives, guiding them to grow closer to God through His Word. With a deep commitment to integrating spiritual and mental health, Taylor encourages women to embrace their true selves and feel fully loved.
The post How to Develop a Consistent Quiet Time – Interview with Coffee and Bible Time appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever set goals and fail to reach them? I used to do that all the time. The only goals I completed each year were my recreation goals! Over the years, though, I’ve learned some tips to help me be more successful with reaching goals. On today’s podcast, we’ll discuss ten tips about how to achieve your goals this year. I’ve asked my friend and fellow podcaster and writer, Dr. Melanie Wilson, to help me with this podcast as she is the master at completing goals!
What We Discussed on the Podcast
10 tips for achieving your goals
How to let go of perfectionism
A 3-question format you could use for a mastermind group or friends goal group
How to be a good coach to yourself
Why it’s important to plan for obstacles and how to do that
How to Stop Procrastinating Course
This will be an on-demand video course with 17 lessons, three live Q&As (in October 2025), journaling questions, assignments, and an opportunity to find accountability partners. It also has a community feature so you can connect with others in the class. Click here to find more about the course.
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Barb’s How to Stop Procrastinating Course
Melanie’s routine kit
Melanie’s book: A Year of Living Productively
Melanie’s blog: homeschoolsanity.com
Melanie’s podcast: The Homeschool Sanity Show
Barb’s James Bible study
Freedom from Procrastination
Renewing of the Mind Project
Barb’s decision making sheet (Click on the link, then scroll down to “Resources Mentioned in the Book.”)
45 Bible Verses for Procrastination
About Melanie Wilson
Melanie Wilson is a Christian psychologist turned homeschool mother of six. She is also the author of a fascinating book called A Year of Living Productively. For one year, Melanie made a commitment to try a different productivity strategy, app, or program each week. In the book she shares how it went that week and what she liked and didn’t like about each of the productivity strategies.
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts
Listen or subscribe on Android
Listen or subscribe on Stitcher
Listen or subscribe on YouTube Music
Listen or subscribe on Spotify
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Encore: 10 Tips to Achieve Your Goals appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever feel like you’ll never get caught up? I know that feeling because I’ve struggled with procrastination for most of my life. Here’s what I’ve discovered: it’s a two-fold process to break free. First, we need to renew our minds and change the way we think so we actually want to do our dreaded tasks. And second, we need to learn practical strategies and time management tools to help us get caught up. I talk about both in my new course, How to Stop Procrastinating, but today I want to share something that’s often overlooked—the subtle lies that make you procrastinate. Let’s uncover ten of the biggest ones together. (I share 40 in my new course.)
10 Lies That Make Us Procrastinate
I go into these in more depth in my podcast episode, so I’ll just record a simple truth here for each lie.
1. This needs to be perfect.
Truth: There is nothing perfect in life except God. So if I’m waiting for perfection, I’m working on an impossible goal. I subconsciously know it’s impossible and that makes me want to procrastinate! I will be far more likely to do hard things if I have more of a “Let’s just give this a try and see how it goes” attitude. Besides, God is in the habit of taking people who aren’t naturally good at what He called them to do (think Moses) and then equipping them for the calling. He can do that with me too!
2. It’s too hard. I can’t do it.
Truth: If God wants me to do this, He’ll help me do it. I can’t do it perfectly. I can’t do it without struggle, and I can’t do it without the possibility of failing, but I can do it! It will be easier if I break it into steps first and start with the smallest step I can take without dreading it. A step I can actually make myself do.
3. I don’t feel like doing this (so I shouldn’t).
Truth: Just because I don’t feel like doing something, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. What if I didn’t feel like feeding my newborn baby? I would still do it! In the Bible, God often called people to do things they didn’t feel like doing. Remember Jonah? On the other hand, sometimes we should stop doing things we don’t feel like doing if there isn’t a good reason to do them. It’s good to take time to think about those things and talk to God and others for wisdom.
4. This problem will go away if I ignore it long enough.
Truth: It will never be easier to tackle than it is right now. The longer I put off problems, the bigger they get. Just think of putting off an uncomfortable conversation in a relationship. The longer you put it off, the more the problem grows, and the harder it is to bring it up. I have a whole lesson on how to solve problems promptly in my How to Stop Procrastinating course.
5. I work better under pressure so I’ll wait.
Truth: Often, I only work under pressure so that’s why I think I work better under pressure! Sometimes this works but other times I run out of time and end up with a project I’m not happy with because I didn’t have enough time to do a good job on it.
6. If I don’t have a big block of time to work on this, it’s not worth doing.
Truth: Often in life, all I have is little blocks of time, so if I want to actually do this, I need to adjust my expectations and do this in little blocks of time. I wrote my first book, Freedom from Emotional Eating, in 15 minute blocks of time because I had a houseful of kids and that’s all I could make myself do.
7. If it’s God will, things will go smoothly, I’ll have the desire to do it, and it will just happen without trying.
Truth: Sadly, we can see from Scripture that this isn’t true. Think of Jonah, Moses, Jeremiah, and Elijah. God often calls us to do things that don’t go smoothly, that require a lot of effort on our part, and that we don’t want to do! Plus on a practical level, even if we like our work, there are days we’re not crazy about it.
8. Other things are more urgent so this can wait.
Truth: I need to be careful not to let the urgent take over the important. I do that by making priorities (which we’ll talk more about in my procrastination class).
9. This will only take a minute, so I’ll just scroll/check email/etc. first.
Truth: It usually takes far more than a minute, and even if it does only take a minute, that minute destroys my concentration. It can take ten or fifteen minutes to get it back again. I’m far better off making boundaries with my phone and not jumping on it whenever I feel like it. (Granted, this is easier said than done. I’m hoping to make a class on how to do this at some point – as soon as I learn how to do it myself!)
10. I’m just not the kind of person who follows through.
Truth: I may not be a person who follows through right now, but God can help me change. Also, I do follow through in some areas of my life, just not all areas. Thankfully, I am a work in progress!
If you’re interested in making progress in overcoming procrastination, check out my new online course below.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
“How to Stop Procrastinating” Course
This will be an on-demand video course with 17 lessons, three live Q&As, assignments, and an opportunity to find accountability partners (at the Q&As). Register by September 22, 2025 to take advantage of early bird pricing. Click here to find more about the course:
How to Listen to the Podcast (Christian Habits)
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts
Listen or subscribe on Android
Listen or subscribe on Stitcher
Listen or subscribe on YouTube Music
Listen or subscribe on Spotify
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post 10 Lies That Make You Procrastinate appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Feel like you’ll never get caught up? I used to feel that way. Either I had a million things to do and wasn’t doing any of them, or I was busy with all the easy tasks and ignoring the big ones because they were too hard, too boring, too scary, or I didn’t know how to do them. I felt overwhelmed and depressed—and I thought I’d never be able to change.
But here’s the truth: God can help us change. He helped me, and He’ll help you!
My new How to Stop Procrastinating course will give you an opportunity to go to God for help with change. We’ll tackle overcoming procrastination from both a spiritual and a practical standpoint.
The course is designed to gently and practically guide you to a place of action and intention, so you can build momentum, stay consistent, and get caught up.
This 4-week course includes:
17 self-paced video lessons (3-4 hours of instruction)
3 live Q&As with me (replays available)
Opportunities to find accountability partners
Printable worksheets, planning charts, and lecture note handouts
Lifetime access to the material (as long as the platform is available)
This is your chance to move from feeling stuck to feeling empowered. You don’t have to keep living this way. Take the first step today and discover freedom in Christ!
Right now, you can get the course at the special Early Bird price of $27. But don’t procrastinate (I had to say it! ) —this price is only available until September 22nd. After that, the price goes up to the regular price of $37.
Enroll Now
The post How to Stop Procrastinating: Early Bird Enrollment Open appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever faced a season so heavy you wondered how you’d get through the next hour—let alone the next year? Author Linda Dillow knows that place well. Today on the Christian Habits Podcast, we discuss eight “heart skills” that have helped her cling to God when life was unbearably hard from her new book, Hope for My Hurting Heart. Prepare to gain so much wisdom about dealing with grief and hardship from this episode.
Finding Hope for Your Hurting Heart
Linda is no stranger to writing about trusting God in difficult seasons. Her book Calm My Anxious Heart has encouraged thousands of women to lay down their worries and embrace contentment. But she admits she thought life might get easier as she got older. “Didn’t happen in my life,” she says wryly.
The challenges came hard during COVID. Two of her four children—both daughters—were seriously ill, one undergoing chemo and the other also facing cancer. Travel restrictions and quarantines meant she couldn’t be with them when they needed her most. “I sat on my suitcases and cried,” she recalls.
Then came the unthinkable: sitting beside her oldest daughter’s bed and watching her die. “I was in my seventies, and I hadn’t had cancer. I would have taken it from both my daughters if I could. Instead, I was watching them suffer—and my sons-in-law and grandchildren suffer.”
A Declaration of Hope
In that season, Linda felt herself sliding from despair toward depression, despite reading the Word and worshiping. “I said, ‘God, I don’t want to slide down this slide. Show me what to do.’”
She sensed God whisper: Make a declaration of hope before Me.
So, on a yellow legal pad, she wrote three commitments:
God, don’t waste my pain.
Father, use this pain to build character, perseverance, and hope (Romans 5).
Abba, comfort me so I can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1).
That written declaration became her anchor. Whenever new waves of grief came, she would read it aloud: “I have hope in my God, and these things are true.” It kept her from going down the slide into despair.
Learning from a Friend’s Faith
Linda also tells the story of her longtime friend Valerie, who has endured decades of debilitating, undiagnosed illness, a painful divorce, and extreme dietary restrictions. Valerie’s response? She began memorizing the names of God—first ten, then fifty, then a hundred—declaring them daily.
“She’s a woman of peace and faith, focused on others,” Linda says. “It proves what you teach, Barb—that we’re transformed by the renewing of our minds.”
When Linda’s daughter Joy died, Valerie gave her a handmade “tree” displaying the hundred names of God. It now sits where Linda kneels to worship, reminding her to declare God’s character.
The Heart Skill of Lament: Worship in a Minor Key
One of Linda’s heart skills is lament—something she calls “worship in a minor key.” She points out that much of the Psalms is David weeping before God.
“In our Christian culture, we want happy-clappy worship,” she says. “But God invites us to be honest with Him about our pain.”
Linda believes lament is a vital step in moving from loss back to trust. In Hope for My Hurting Heart, she guides readers through a journey from hope and love, down through lament, and back up to trust, encouragement, and praise.
Weeping Together
This season also brought a deeper intimacy with her husband, Jody. “We call it the weeping intimacy,” she says. “Is it something you want to sign up for? No. But we’re closer today because of it. Our whole family is closer because we’ve wept together.”
Her granddaughter, a poet, even processed her grief by writing a book of poetry about her mom. “It’s not fun to go down into those hard places,” Linda says, “but if we stay on the surface, we never really heal.”
If you’re walking through pain, Linda’s story—and the eight heart skills in her book—offer a way forward. Not a quick fix, but a steady path of clinging to God’s hope, even when your heart is breaking.
You can find Hope for My Hurting Heart on Amazon.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Hope for My Hurting Heart by Linda Dillow
Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow
How to Stop Procrastinating course by Barb Raveling
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Linda Dillow is a bestselling author and a respected Bible teacher and conference speaker. Her books include Calm My Anxious Heart, Intimate Issues, and What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? Linda is the mother of four children, including one who is now with Jesus, and grandmother of ten. She and her husband, Jody, lived overseas for seventeen years and now make their home in Monument, Colorado.
The post Linda Dillow: Hope for My Hurting Heart appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever felt like making friends used to be easy—but now it feels downright impossible? If you’re longing for deeper connection, author Kristen Strong gets it. In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, Kristen shares practical advice and hard-won wisdom about how to make friends when it doesn’t come naturally anymore from her book Desperate Woman Seeks Friends: Real Talk About Connection, Rejection, and Trying Again for the Friendships You Need. Whether you’re navigating a new season of life or just feeling a little lonely, I think you’ll walk away from our conversation with encouraged.
How to Make and Keep Friends
Kristen grew up in a small Oklahoma town, surrounded by extended family. “I didn’t have to work hard to make friends,” she said. Even in college, she moved with a group of familiar faces. But that all changed when she transferred colleges to follow her husband, Dave, during his military assignment.
“I just assumed I would have instant friends,” she said. “I thought the Lord would just apparate them to my doorstep like in Harry Potter.”
Instead, she found herself isolated for the first time in her life.
It was a turning point. “I had to learn how to connect,” Kristen said. “And now, I’ve written the book I wish I’d had back then.”
The Friendship Deficit
These days, many of us are in the same boat Kristen was in. Life changes, seasons shift, and even our culture doesn’t make it easy. Kristen pointed out that in Western society, independence is often valued over interdependence. “We like our space,” she said, “but that can convince us we don’t need friends.”
And social media? “It can scratch the itch for connection, but it doesn’t satisfy,” Kristen shared. “It’s like eating breadcrumbs all day instead of sitting down to a nourishing meal.”
Showing Up, Opening Up, Praying Up
Kristen offers three pillars for cultivating friendships:
1. Showing Up
“Friendship rarely happens by accident anymore,” Kristen said. “You have to show up where people are—and keep showing up.”
That might mean joining a regular group at church, taking a class, or saying yes to that coffee invite, even when it feels awkward.
She encourages people to think practically: “What do you already enjoy? Is there a way to do it with others?”
2. Opening Up
“Opening your home is like opening your heart,” Kristen told me. And it doesn’t have to be impressive. “People don’t care how clean your house is. They care that you made room for them.”
She’s hosted friends for frozen pizza or a glass of water on the porch while the kids played.
“Not every person I’ve had in my house became a great friend—but every great friend has been in my house.”
3. Praying Up
Kristen is intentional about praying for friendships—and encourages others to do the same.
“Jesus had friends. If He needed friends, we certainly do. And God will be faithful to answer that prayer,” she said. “But we have to partner with Him in the process.”
Don’t Let Fear Win
I asked Kristen what she would say to someone who’s weary of putting themselves out there—especially if they’ve been hurt before.
Her response was both gentle and bold.
“I’ve been there. I’ve said, ‘Women are tricky. I don’t know if friendship is worth it.’ But I don’t want someone to miss out on what God has for them—or for others to miss out on her.”
She reminded us that even Jesus was betrayed by a close friend. “He understands,” she said. “Take your fears and frustrations to Him.”
Friendship is Worth the Work
Whether you’re twenty-five or fifty-five, building new friendships takes effort. “You’re not in a petri dish of peers anymore,” Kristen explained. “The older you get, the more intentional you have to be.”
But it’s worth it—for your emotional and physical health. Loneliness, she pointed out, has been shown to be as dangerous as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
And even short-term friendships can become long-term blessings. “You never know what you’ll receive in that season,” Kristen said. “Even if someone’s only in your life for a short time, the connection can last.”
A Real-Life Testimony
Kristen has leaned on her friends through difficult seasons in recent years. “I don’t know how I would have handled it without them,” she said.
She compared it to the story of Aaron and Hur holding up Moses’s arms during battle. “My friends have done that for me—and I’ve done it for them. It’s a gift.”
And sometimes, those friendships sharpen us. “A good friend once pointed out a critical spirit in me,” she said. “I had to admit she was right, and it helped me turn a corner.”
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling isolated or discouraged, you’re not alone—and you’re not out of options.
As Kristen reminded us: “God works through both the verse and the voice. We need Scripture, but we also need people.”
So take the risk. Make the coffee date. Open your door, even if it’s messy. And pray for the courage to try again.
You might be surprised by the friends He brings your way.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Desperate Woman Seeks Friends: Real Talk About Connection, Rejection, and Trying Again for the Friendships You Need by Kristen Strong
kristenstrong.com
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Kristen Strong, whose authored books include Girl Meets Change and When Change Finds You, also compiled the 90-day devotional, Praying Through Loneliness. She writes as a friend walking alongside you in your lonely season to a more helpful, hopeful destination. She loves sharing laughs, long talks, and meaningful stories with family and friends while holding a cup of strong black tea. She and her US Air Force veteran husband, David, have three beloved adult children.
The post Kristen Strong: How to Make and Keep Friends appeared first on Barb Raveling.
What if the secret to getting your home in order wasn’t just about having more storage—but about asking better questions? That’s what I discovered in my latest conversation with artist and author Whitney English. She joined me on the Christian Habits Podcast to talk about her book Organize First, Decorate Second: How to Go from Clutter to Creativity—and the deeper life lessons behind our desire to get organized.
Getting Organized at Home, Life, and Work
Whitney English may be best known for her art, but she also has a gift for systems—and for simplifying the big picture so you can take your next small step.
“When I started writing this book,” she said, “I thought it was going to be about decorating. But the phrase organize first, decorate second came to me while I was trying to tackle a project in my own home. And I realized, if I couldn’t teach people how to organize, I couldn’t really help them decorate either.”
That honest realization led her on a journey of self-examination: how do we form habits that actually work? And more importantly, how do we live them out?
As Whitney shared, “I had to analyze my own habits. Because what good is a plan if you never get around to executing it?”
Whitney is the first to admit that she’s great at dreaming and planning. “I love being in the messy middle,” she said. “That’s where all the discoveries happen. But it’s also where I tend to get stuck. Hitting ‘publish’—or putting the paintbrush down—is the hard part for me.”
So what changed?
“I had to learn how to finish things,” Whitney said. “Now, on days when I don’t feel like doing anything, I just ask: What can I finish today? That one question gets me moving.”
Three Questions That Can Change Everything
Whitney shared the simple questions she asks herself when she’s feeling overwhelmed. These aren’t just productivity tips—they’re mindset shifts:
“What’s not working?”
“Has this served its purpose?”
“What would this look like if it were easy?”
“What’s not working?” It’s a question that helps us step back from the chaos and see the big picture. And as Whitney pointed out, asking questions like these brings us back to the present moment—where we can actually do something about it.
That shift in perspective helped her identify a pain point in her afternoons: “The after-school hours weren’t working. So we started the tradition of having 4:00 tea. It gave us a moment to breathe, and it totally changed the rhythm of our day.”
Whether it’s clutter on your desk, chaos in your calendar, or an idea that’s stuck in your head, these questions can help you move forward. “They make you reverse-engineer your reality,” Whitney said. “Instead of focusing on the end goal, you come back to the now. And clarity lives in the now.”
Systems, Stories, and the Beauty That Grounds Us
Even though Whitney is deeply practical, she’s also deeply creative. She loves beauty—especially the kind that tells a story.
“You get into meaning when things are beautiful,” she said. “It adds story, and story adds meaning. And that’s something we’re all craving right now.”
But that doesn’t mean you need to spend a fortune to create beauty. Whitney encourages her readers to start with what they have: rearrange the furniture, thrift something unique, or simply look at your space with new eyes.
As she says in the book, “Sometimes, it’s not about organizing more. It’s about recognizing the systems you already have—like your morning routine—and deciding whether they’re actually working for you.”
And when they’re not? You tweak them. You finish what you started. You live the life you planned on paper.
More Than a Book on Decluttering
Organize First, Decorate Second isn’t just a guide to get organized—it’s an invitation to look at your life with fresh eyes, to tell a better story with the things you keep, and to ask the questions that lead to clarity, freedom, and peace.
If you’d like to see more of Whitney’s beautiful work—both her art and her practical wisdom—you can check out her website and blog at whitneyenglish.com.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Barb’s Transformation and upcoming “How to Stop Procrastinating” classes
Organize First, Decorate Second: How to go from Clutter to Creativity by Whitney English
“Shop My Favorite Organizational Products” blog post on Whitney’s website
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Whitney English believes that anyone can live a beautiful life. She believes that gratitude is the birthplace of joy, that people matter, that love is the answer, that if you’re real you can’t be ugly, that everyone is creative and some of us have just forgotten, and that it’s worth trying to be a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday. She has boot-strapped two businesses to seven figures, has a degree in interior design, studied management at Parsons in New York City, and has had her work featured in O magazine, The Wall Street Journal, and on the Today Show (twice). She was featured as one of Country Living magazine’s Women Entrepreneurs in 2008. One of her favorite dreams-come-true, though, is her husband David, and their three children.
The post Whitney English: Organizing Your Home, Life, and Work appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever find yourself dwelling on the negative? Or complaining a little too much? Today’s guest, Chip Ingram, knows exactly what that’s like. In fact, his powerful journey through chronic pain and hardship is what led him to write his book, I Choose Joy: Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life. In our conversation, Chip shared how renewing your mind—a biblical practice that transforms how we think—became his pathway to experiencing joy in the midst of overwhelming circumstances.
Choosing Joy When Life is Hard
Chip’s story starts with something so ordinary—playing basketball. But that game ended with a herniated disc, setting him on a seven-year journey through chronic pain, multiple surgeries, and long, grueling rehab sessions. During those years, Chip was pastoring a large church, managing four services every Sunday, and trying to push through life as if everything was normal.
But life wasn’t normal.
Over time, Chip’s perspective darkened, though he didn’t see it until his wife gently pointed it out by asking, “Do you recognize how negative you’ve become?”
That question stopped him. He didn’t want to admit it, but she was right.
The Turning Point: Renewing His Mind
In what Chip describes as the sovereignty of God, he was invited to speak at the Billy Graham Conference on Philippians 1—Paul’s letter written while chained under house arrest. Paul’s words radiated joy despite his circumstances, and that intrigued Chip. Paul wasn’t pretending life was easy. He was chained, facing possible execution, yet his focus was still on God and others.
Chip realized he needed to retrain his mind, to deliberately change his perspective.
“I basically went into training to renew my mind. I had to retrain my thinking to get perspective, and as I did, it revolutionized my life and my joy—even in the midst of great pain.”
This wasn’t about wishful thinking or ignoring hardship. It was about forming habits that would lead to joy.
The Joy Formula
As the son of a math and science teacher, Chip began to see a pattern in Paul’s letter:
C (Circumstance) + P (Perspective) = E (Experience)
Chip explained that we have very little control over our circumstances. But we have 100% control over our perspective. And our perspective will shape our experience.
He discovered four questions from Philippians 1 that help shift our perspective from victimhood to joy:
Question 1: Where’s your focus?
Chip learned to ask himself: Am I focusing upward (on God and gratitude) and outward (on others)?
“As soon as I focused upward and outward, my perspective changed.”
Question 2: What’s your purpose?
Ask, “How can God use this?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?”
“God’s purpose isn’t to make me happy and pain-free—it’s to fulfill His greater plan.”
Question 3: Where’s your hope?
Chip saw how easy it is to build our hope on “if-then” statements: If I get married, if I succeed, if my health returns…
“But hope grounded in Christ is unshakable—even when circumstances don’t improve.”
Question 4: What are your expectations?
“We often expect life to go well if we’re faithful, but Scripture tells us it’s been granted to us not just to believe in Christ, but also to suffer for His sake.”
Joy is a Spiritual Discipline
Chip emphasized that choosing joy isn’t easy, instant, or natural. It’s a spiritual discipline that takes intentional, repeated effort.
“You can develop a habit of seeing life through a negative lens, but you can also train yourself to choose joy. You have to go into training for the habit of joy.”
And, as C.S. Lewis put it, “Joy is the serious business of heaven.”
Chip also shared that small daily choices matter—like how we start our day. If the first thing we do is open our phones and flood our minds with the world’s noise, negativity will set the tone. But if we start by focusing on God, we can experience a mindset shift.
The Unexpected Fruit
Perhaps the most beautiful part of Chip’s story is what God did through his pain. Out of this difficult season came a ministry that now serves pastors worldwide. What started as an encouraging phone call during rehab turned into an international movement that has trained over 400,000 pastors across continents.
“My circumstance didn’t change, but God’s purposes were fulfilled in ways I never could have imagined.”
You can hear Chip’s full story, the four questions that can change your life, and his practical wisdom in the episode: “Chip Ingram: Choosing Joy When Life is Hard” on the Christian Habits Podcast.
And if you’d like to dig deeper into the daily habits that help you experience joy, you can find his book, I Choose Joy, wherever books are sold.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
I Choose Joy: Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life by Chip Ingram
The Invisible War by Chip Ingram
Living on the Edge Ministries
Chip’s resources for Bible Studies and Small Groups: at livingontheedge.org and on the app stores.
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Chip Ingram is the teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry. A pastor for more than thirty years, Chip is the author of many books, including Holy Ambition and The Invisible War. Chip and his wife, Theresa, have four grown children and twelve grandchildren and live in California.
The post Chip Ingram: Choosing Joy When Life is Hard appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you often find yourself giving “helpful suggestions” to your husband? Are you silently annoyed with him much of the time? Or have you made a habit of criticizing him either out loud or in your mind? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’ll love this conversation with Ann Wilson, author of How to Speak Life to Your Husband (When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him). Ann brings so much wisdom, humility, and hope to this episode. Prepare to walk away encouraged and challenged in the best way.
How to Speak Life to Your Husband
Ann’s journey toward understanding the power of her words started with what she thought was going to be a normal speaking event alongside her husband, Dave. What she didn’t expect? Dave’s confession to the audience: “Sometimes husbands feel that the moment we walk through the door, our wives are booing us.”
Ouch.
Ann was stunned—and a little defensive. But instead of dismissing it, she asked God a hard question: Am I booing my husband? The answer was yes.
That moment sent her on a path of personal change. She began to see that what she thought was “helping” her husband actually came across as constant correction. As she put it, “God began showing me that I was praying for Dave to change, but God wanted to change me.”
And that’s when everything started to shift.
What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?
Ann started using the reflection question, What’s it like to be married to me? It’s a sobering thought—and a helpful one. She realized her thoughts and internal monologue about Dave had turned negative. “I’d get stuck in this spiral, thinking about all the ways he wasn’t seeing me or showing up.”
But instead of venting or stewing, she sensed God nudging her: What would happen if you prayed for him as much as you complained about him?
That one question was a game-changer.
She started to notice how even her everyday speech had a pattern: “You should do this” or “Have you tried that?”—instructive, not encouraging. She laughs about it now, but it was a wake-up call that her way of communicating wasn’t life-giving.
Small Words, Big Impact
One day, she paused before dinner and intentionally thanked Dave in front of their kids. His response? “I saw the book you were reading, and I know you said that because you read it in a book, but I don’t even care. It felt so good.”
That’s when she began to understand how deeply our husbands—like all of us—long to know: Am I doing okay? Does she believe in me?
Ann shared a fascinating study from the Arbinger Institute, which showed that we communicate more from our way of being than from our words or behavior. “So even if you’re saying the right thing,” she explained, “your husband can feel it if you don’t believe it.”
The Helper Who Stands Toe-to-Toe
Ann also dove into the Hebrew meaning behind Genesis 2:18, where God says He will make a “helper suitable” for man. The word “helper” in Hebrew is azer, the same word used to describe God as Israel’s rescuer in battle. And “suitable”? That comes from kenegdo, meaning “to stand toe-to-toe.”
“Being a helper isn’t weak,” Ann says. “It means standing side-by-side, back-to-back with your husband. Fierce, protective, and obedient to God’s calling—even when it’s hard.”
One theologian told her, “When a man stands toe-to-toe with his wife, he sees, in her eyes, the man he could become.” That line really stuck with both of us. What are our husbands seeing in our eyes?
From Criticism to Prayer
When it comes to knowing when and how to say something hard, Ann now starts with prayer: “God, should I bring it up? If yes, when and how? If not, should I say anything—and if so, what?”
She admits she still sometimes feels the urge to help, especially with her adult kids. “But now, I advise less and pray more.” She even fasts and prays regularly with a group of women—something she recommends for anyone wanting to grow spiritually and relationally.
And the fruit of those changes? One of Ann’s friends started a gratitude journal for her husband, writing out one thing each day she appreciated about him. On his birthday, she gave it to him. He read it and cried. Why? “Because I feel like I’m constantly failing,” he said, “and when I read her words, it motivated me to be the man she saw instead of the man I felt I was.”
That’s the power of speaking life.
If you’re longing to be a better wife and love your husband well—even when it’s hard—you can check out Ann’s book, How to Speak Life to Your Husband (When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him). You can find it on Amazon or wherever books are sold. And if you’d like to connect with Ann, you can find her and Dave at @daveannwilson on Instagram and Facebook.
Let’s keep asking God to help us see the greatness in the people we love—and to speak life every chance we get.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
How to Speak Life to Your Husband (When All You Want to Do Is Yell At Him) by Ann Wilson
Get counseling help at getfaithful.com/christianhabits
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Ann Wilson has served with her husband for more than twenty-five years, cofounding Kensington Community Church, speaking at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember®, and hosting their own marriage conferences across the country. They live in the Detroit area, and they have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody; three daughters-in-law; and seven grandchildren.
The post Ann Wilson: How to Speak Life to Your Husband appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever felt like stress was running the show—pulling the strings on your thoughts, your body, even your faith? I know I have. In this episode, I chat with author and pastor Charles Stone to talk about what stress really is, why it sticks around, and how we can respond in ways that heal rather than harm. We explore powerful, practical tools to deal with stress grounded in both Scripture and neuroscience—including what it means to “soak your soul,” how monks can teach us to pause, and why your stress might be trying to tell you something deeper.
How to Deal with Stress
Stress is like a coin. One side is the event—that thing that blindsides you at work, the argument that sits heavy in your chest, or the endless to-do list. But the flip side? That’s your response. And that’s where hope lives.
In his practical and grace-filled book Stress Less: 9 Habits from the Bible and Brain Science to Build Resilience and Reduce Anxiety, Charles Stone shares how we can manage our stress response—physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually—without it managing us. With insights rooted in neuroscience and biblical truth, the message is clear: stress doesn’t have to define you, but it can refine you.
Here are a few key takeaways to help you start finding calm in the chaos.
Understand What Stress Really Is
Stress is your brain and body’s natural reaction to a perceived threat or demand. It shows up in two main forms:
Acute stress: short-term, in-the-moment
Chronic stress: ongoing and persistent
When we encounter stress, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in—revving us up for action. This releases cortisol, a hormone we need in moderation. But if cortisol remains elevated for too long, even if the threat is only perceived, it can take a toll on your body, relationships, and even your spiritual life.
Soak Your Soul
Even Jesus—fully God, yet fully human—regularly took time to be alone with the Father. If he needed those quiet moments, how much more do we?
Charles introduces the concept of “soaking your soul”—intentional time in God’s presence through spiritual practices like prayer, meditation, contemplation, and rest. These aren’t just feel-good rituals; science confirms that they help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which calms you down and lowers your stress response. According to Charles, “God wired us so that soaking our soul actually reduces our stress response.”
So if you feel distant from God, know this: He hasn’t left. Sometimes, like the prophet Elijah when his stress got the best of him, it’s as simple as needing a snack, a nap… or time to breathe and be still.
Pick One to Three Habits (Not All Nine)
The book outlines nine neuroscience-backed habits for stress resilience. But don’t try to tackle them all at once—Charles encourages readers to focus on just one to three that resonate. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress.
Some of these habits include:
Gratitude: A practice that rewires your brain and lifts your heart. Start or end your day by naming three good things you’re grateful for.
Surrendering prayer: Jesuit priest Claude de la Colombière described it as trusting God’s wisdom, believing He works for our good, and knowing He’s in control—even when we’re not.
Spiritual stillness: Inspired by monks who practiced statio—a moment to pause, stand, and prepare for what’s next.
Cultivate Certainty (Even in Uncertain Times)
We can’t always know what’s coming. But in Psalm 125:1, David reminds us that those who trust in the Lord are as secure as a mountain. That kind of certainty doesn’t come from ruminating or problem-solving—it comes from surrender.
Charles reminds us, “God is who He says He is. He loves you. His Word is true.”
That’s where we anchor ourselves when life spins sideways.
Practical Hope for Your Everyday
Whether you’re in a season of chronic stress or just trying to make it through the day, there’s hope. With biblical rhythms, brain science, and grace for your humanness, Stress Less offers tools to help you deal with stress without it mastering you.
Remember: You were never meant to carry it all. God’s presence is the safest place to set it down.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Stress Less: 9 Habits from the Bible and Brain Science to Build Resilience and Reduce Anxiety by Charles Stone
“30-Day Stress Resilience Planner” free with signup at charlesstone.com
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Charles Stone (MDiv, DMin, PhD) has served for forty-three years in vocational ministry, thirty of those years as a senior pastor. He recently completed a nine-year role as lead pastor of West Park Church in London, Ontario, Canada, a multicultural congregation with over a thousand attendees. He has authored eight books and now serves as a coaching consultant to pastors and leaders. Over three hundred of his articles have appeared in magazines and online in publications such as Outreach Magazine, Leadership Journal, Pastors.com, SermonCentral.com, and Churchleaders.com. Charles and his wife, Sherryl, have been married for forty-five years and have three adult children and five grandchildren. You can reach him through his website at www.charlesstone.com.
The post Charles Stone: Stress Less appeared first on Barb Raveling.
What if the key to lasting change isn’t trying harder but thinking differently? If you’ve been trying to white-knuckle your way to freedom from habits and behaviors that hold you back, this conversation may be the breath of fresh air you need to reframe your approach. Listen as I chat with pastor and author Kyle Idleman about his upcoming book, Every Thought Captive: Calm the Mental Chaos That Keeps You Stuck, Drains Your Hope, and Holds You Back, and how renewing our minds—not just modifying our behavior—leads to true transformation.
How to Take Every Thought Captive to Christ
For years, Kyle focused on behavior modification for changing his habits, but eventually realized this approach was missing something. “When we shift our thinking,” he said, “we begin to experience real freedom.” Like dieting, behavior change alone doesn’t last unless you address the thought patterns behind it.
We both agreed that taking thoughts captive—choosing truth over reaction—is the real work of transformation. Kyle pointed out that this kind of change isn’t quick or automatic. It takes intentionality, grace, and a willingness to stay the course.
A Daily Practice of Mind Renewal
Kyle shared his simple but powerful habit: starting and ending each day by renewing his mind. In the morning, he visualizes his day, thanks God for specific things, and speaks Scripture aloud. He did an experiment—one month with this habit and one month without—and found a dramatic difference in his peace, focus, and overall mindset.
Evening renewal helps him bring his thoughts back to truth before the day ends. “It may feel unnatural at the beginning,” he said, “but the more you do it, the more natural—and life-giving—it becomes.”
Five Thought Patterns That Keep Us Stuck
In Every Thought Captive, Kyle explores five common mental struggles: insecurity, distraction, offense, misplaced pleasure, and despair. He chose these because they’re universal—and they illustrate how transformation begins in the mind.
One story that stood out was when Kyle received a sharp email. His initial reaction was offense. But when he called the sender, he found out that person was in deep pain. That moment shifted everything. “It’s to your glory to overlook an offense,” Kyle said. It reminded me how renewing our thoughts helps us respond with grace instead of reactivity.
Being Intentional with What Shapes Us
We also talked about distraction. Kyle shared how our culture’s constant noise makes intentional living harder—but even more necessary. He uses an app called ClearSpace (that gives him screen time for pushups) to help create healthy boundaries with technology.
Another strategy Kyle uses is an “exposure journal.” Like a food diary, it tracks what he’s consuming mentally. He explained, “What we expose ourselves to shapes our thoughts, which shape our emotions, relationships, and decisions.” That one insight alone is worth the listen.
Training Your Mind with Gratitude
Kyle also encouraged listeners to practice gratitude—something he stacks into his daily routine by thanking God in the shower. He keeps a gratitude journal and even practices what he calls “reverse engineering your blessings”—recognizing the chain of people and circumstances behind every good thing. It’s a gentle way to practice mindfulness and refocus on God’s grace.
A Resource for Deeper Change
Kyle’s book Every Thought Captive is supported by a small group curriculum on RightNow Media and other tools to help you walk this out. This curriculum is helpful for individuals and groups who want to grow together in intentional thinking.
You can find Kyle and his book on his website, YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook by searching his name or Every Thought Captive.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast.
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Every Thought Captive: Calm the Mental Chaos That Keeps You Stuck, Drains Your Hope, and Holds You Back by Kyle Idleman
Every Thought Captive Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: How Renewing Your Mind Can Change Your Life by Kyle Idleman
The Renewing of the Mind Project by Barb Raveling
ClearSpace app
How to Listen to the Podcast
To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
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Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Kyle Idleman is the senior pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, one of the largest churches in America. On a normal weekend, he speaks to more than thirty thousand people spread across fifteen campuses. More than anything else, Kyle enjoys unearthing the teachings of Jesus and making them relevant in people’s lives. He is a frequent speaker for national conventions and influential churches across the country. Kyle and his wife, DesiRae, have been married for over thirty years. They have four children, two sons-in-law, and three grandchildren. They live on a farm in Kentucky, where Kyle doesn’t do any actual farming. You can learn more on his website at kyleidleman.com.
The post Kyle Idleman: Every Thought Captive appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly racing through life—juggling work, family, ministry, and endless to-do lists—while your soul is quietly begging for rest? In today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I chat with author and Bible teacher Samantha Decker about her new book, Unhurried: An Invitation to Slow Down, Create Margin, and Surrender Control to God, and the journey God took her on as she learned how to live an unhurried life.
How to Live an Unhurried Life
As a Bible teacher, writer, and mom of four who recently released her first book, Samantha has a deep understanding of why we need to intentionally practice slowing down. But Samantha says she didn’t set out to write a book. “It was really a step of obedience,” she shared. “The Lord used a verse in Haggai to get my attention—‘Consider your ways.’ I was doing all these good things—working, parenting, serving in church—but I wasn’t prioritizing what God was asking me to do.”
That moment sparked a shift. God invited Samantha to slow down—not just in her schedule, but in her soul. And that’s the heart of Unhurried—learning to pursue God’s purposes over our own plans.
The Power of Small Steps
Samantha is candid about the ongoing nature of this journey. “I’m still the mom rushing to get my kids in the car,” she admitted with a laugh. But what’s changed is her posture. Instead of white-knuckling control over her days, she’s learning to ask God, “What do You have for me today?”
She talked about how slowing down often begins with small, faithful steps—like answering a phone call when you’d rather keep moving or carving out time for quiet prayer. “It’s like when the priests dipped their toes in the Jordan before the waters parted,” she said. “That first step matters.”
Margin Looks Different for Everyone
Samantha also offers very practical advice in her book, especially for people in different life seasons. Whether you work full time, stay at home, or fall somewhere in between, she shares thoughtful insights into how each of us can create margin.
“If you stay at home, maybe God is inviting you to ask what to say yes to and what to gently decline,” she said. “If you work full time, maybe there’s a routine—like stopping at the same coffee shop—that can become a space for reflection or relationship.”
Having too much unstructured time can lead to its own kind of hurry. Even in my season of life, I can still feel pressured to fill the day with work or activity. Samantha reminded me—and all of us—that even Jesus modeled both work and rest. “He withdrew to be with the Father,” she said. “That rhythm of working and resting with God at the center—that’s what we’re aiming for.”
Type A or Type B—We All Struggle with Hurry
I asked Samantha whether she thought hurriedness was only a problem for high-achievers. Her response was so insightful. “I think we all struggle,” she said. “Our culture rewards busyness and achievement. And anytime we’re trying to control our days without asking God what He wants for us, we’re stepping into that hurried mindset—whether we’re type A or type B.”
That resonated with me deeply. As a type B person, I know how procrastination can create its own brand of franticness. Samantha shared how she and her sister—who are opposites in personality—often remind each other of what really matters. “She tells me to slow down. I remind her not to wait too long. We help balance each other.”
Starting Your Day with God
So how do we begin to live a slower, more intentional life? Samantha’s advice was beautifully simple: “Right when you wake up, ask God, ‘What do You have for me today?’”
She encouraged us to start the day with prayer, Scripture, or even a moment of silence. “It’s a posture of surrender,” she explained. “Instead of leading with your to-do list, you begin under God’s Lordship. That question alone can reorient your entire day.”
I’ve practiced this myself during work struggles—pausing to pray and asking God for direction. More often than not, He brings clarity. It’s amazing what a simple question can do.
Where to Learn More
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Samantha. You can find Unhurried wherever books are sold, and the audiobook just released as well!
You can also connect with Samantha on Instagram @samanthadeckerwrites or at her website, samanthadeckerwrites.com.
If you’ve been feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or unsure how to slow down, I hope this episode is an encouragement. The invitation to live unhurried isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters, with God leading the way.
Listen to the full episode on the Christian Habits Podcast!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
Unhurried: An Invitation to Slow Down, Create Margin, and Surrender Control to God by Samantha Decker
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
About the Author
Samantha Decker is a wife, mom, writer, Bible teacher, and above all, a follower of Jesus. She is passionate about encouraging believers to deepen their walk with Jesus through discipleship relationships and an unrelenting love for the Word of God. She and her husband, Dustin, live in Oklahoma and enjoy serving in their local church, trying new restaurants (especially if it’s Tex-Mex), and adventuring with their three rambunctious boys and baby girl. You can connect with her at samanthadeckerwrites.com.
The post Samantha Decker: How to Live an Unhurried Life appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever been in a season of waiting that feels as though it will never end? Whether you want to begin a family, meet a life partner, find your perfect career, or anything else, waiting can be excruciating—or fertile ground for personal and spiritual growth. In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, author and podcaster Rebecca George shares insights from her new book, You’re Not Too Late: Trusting God’s Timing in a Hurry-Up World. Learn to reframe the struggles of waiting and how to find true happiness and joy in a relationship with Christ.
What We Discussed on the Podcast:
The importance of recognizing common challenges during waiting seasons and how they can hinder our faith.
How to shift our perspective on waiting by embracing a biblical narrative that fosters hope rather than despair.
The notion of “chill hours” learned from Rebecca’s husband’s experience with olive trees, symbolizing how difficult periods can shape us for future growth and fruitfulness.
Strategies for surrendering our desires to God, navigating feelings of idolatry, and cultivating a lasting joy that transcends earthly circumstances.
The profound impact of bitterness and resentment during waiting times, and how addressing these feelings can lead to healing and joy.
Encouragement and practical advice for attending significant life events (like a friend’s baby shower) when your own hopes seem unfulfilled.
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast
You’re Not Too Late: Trusting God’s Timing in a Hurry-Up World by Rebecca George
About Rebecca George
Rebecca George is the founder of Radical Radiance®, a podcast community where listeners are equipped to blend what they love with the Jesus who makes them shine. She is a podcaster, speaker, and author whose greatest joy in life is discipling others to pursue their passions in a way that builds the Kingdom. In her free time you can find her running outside, writing, or trying a new recipe with 90s country playing in the background. You can connect with her on IG at @rebeccageorgeauthor or at radicalradiance.live!
The post Rebecca George: Trusting God’s Timing appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Does clutter feel like a never-ending battle? If so, you’re not alone! My guest today on The Christian Habits Podcast, Dana K. White, knows exactly what it’s like to struggle with a messy home and the frustration that comes with it. Unlike traditional organizing experts, Dana has lived the chaos and found simple, realistic ways to bring order without feeling overwhelmed. In this episode, she shares practical tips and encouragement for creatives (and anyone who struggles with organization overwhelm) to help you break free from clutter and create a home that works for you.
What We Discussed on the Podcast
A fresh, guilt-free approach to decluttering that works with your natural tendencies
How to apply Dana’s “container concept” to set realistic limits on stuff
Strategies to declutter without feeling overwhelmed or emotionally drained
The key difference between organizing and decluttering—and why it matters
How to let go of procrastination and take small, manageable steps forward
Encouragement for overcoming the shame of a messy home and embracing grace
Practical tips for balancing work, creativity, and home life
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast
Jesus Doesn’t Care About Your Messy House by Dana K. White
A Slob Comes Clean (YouTube Channel)
A Slob Comes Clean (podcast)
About Dana K. White
Dana K. White is the creator of the No Mess Decluttering Process and the author of Decluttering at the Speed of Life (a Wall Street Journal bestseller). She’s also a speaker, podcaster, YouTuber, and (much to her own surprise) a Decluttering Expert. Connect with Dana on her website at www.aslobcomesclean.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Dana K. White: Decluttering for Creatives (and Anyone Who Struggles) appeared first on Barb Raveling.
When we go through a difficult season, it’s tempting to wallow in self-pity or assume that God has abandoned us. But what if, instead, He is using that time to do a great work in us and give us gifts we’d never have experienced otherwise? Today’s guest, Tyler Staton, learned this lesson first-hand when he went through a cancer battle while writing his latest book, The Familiar Stranger, about the Person and Work of the Holy Spirit. In this episode, he shares his thoughts on what he calls “redemptive suffering” and how we can grow closer to God through ordinary practices to enhance our discernment and relationship with Him.
What We Discussed on the Podcast
The importance of truly understanding the Person and work of the Holy Spirit in our lives
How Tyler’s cancer journey informed his understanding of redemptive suffering and how the Holy Spirit moves through suffering for our redemption
How Jesus’ example shows that we need to have discernment to effectively pray for miracles
Why discernment needs to be an everyday practice, not reserved for only big decisions
How Tyler uses prayer walks (or cycles) and the “Prayer of Examine” (developed by St. Ignatius) to train himself in the art of discernment
How God as our Shepherd guides us to where He wants us to go
Tips for how to pray when we feel distracted, we’re experiencing brain fog, or at other times when it’s difficult
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast
The Familiar Stranger by Tyler Staton
“How to Renew Your Mind” course, starting January 28, 2025.
About Tyler Staton
Tyler Staton is the Lead Pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, where he lives with his wife Kirsten, and their sons Hank, Simon, and Amos. He is passionate about living prayerfully and relationally. Tyler is the author of three books: Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools, Searching for Enough, and The Familiar Stranger. Connect with Tyler on his website at tylerstaton.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast
Listen or subscribe on YouTube.
Listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
Listen or subscribe on Android.
Listen or subscribe on Spotify.
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Tyler Staton: The Person and Work of the Holy Spirit appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Note: This class is no longer available but I hope to have another class on how to renew your mind in 2026. Click here if you’d like to hear about future classes: barbraveling.com/course.
Do you ever say, “I can’t believe I’ve been a Christian for x number of years and I’m still struggling with this?” Are you reluctant to work on transformation because you’re afraid you’ll fail like you did last time? Do you have some area of your life where you feel stuck?
My guess is that we can all answer “yes” to at least one of those questions. It’s discouraging to fail over and over again.
Romans 12:2 tells us that the answer to our struggles is to renew our minds. But there are two problems with this approach: 1) We don’t necessarily know what that means or 2) we do know how to renew our minds but we can’t make ourselves do it consistently enough to see transformation.
My 7-Week Master Class on Transformation will help you with both of those problems. We’ll get together, each choose an area of our lives to work on, and work together on transformation.
What area of transformation would you like help with?
Here are a few areas you may want to work on during this transformation class:
Break a habit such as overeating, overspending, or too much time on your phone even though you have zero discipline in that area.
Achieve a goal such as writing a book, developing a habit of consistently completing your to-do list each day, or starting a business even if you’re a born procrastinator and can’t make yourself work on your project or list.
Break free from a negative emotion like anger, worry, discontentment, and insecurity even if that emotion has been with you as long as you can remember. Often we think we can’t let go of the negative emotions. Our only hope is to escape them with some self-destructive behavior, stuff them, or control our behavior so the emotion doesn’t hurt ourselves and others. But the truth is, God can help us let go of those negative emotions situation by situation and live in peace and joy (Galatians 5). We’ll learn how to do that in this class.
What are some side benefits (but often the biggest benefits of all) of working on transformation?
No matter what practical area you choose to work on, God will use the transformation process to help you achieve the following goals:
Grow closer to God and more excited about your times with Him as you develop the practical habit of carrying each thought captive to the truth through the renewing of the min.
Live in peace and joy as you learn how to corral, process, and let go of the thoughts that are swirling in your head, threatening to drive you crazy.
Improve relationships and learn how to love others better as you grow in the fruit of the Spirit.
What is the set up of the class?
Here are a few features of the class:
It will be live. We’ll meet on Zoom but the sessions will also be recorded if you can’t make it.
I’ll give 15-30 minutes of instruction but we’ll be pausing during the class to apply what I teach to the area of your life that you want to work on.
We’ll meet once a week for seven sessions but I’ll have six weeks of homework for you to do during the week to apply what you learned to the area of your life you’re working on.
At the end of each class, I’ll have breakout rooms where you can share how you did with your renewing each week and what God taught you during the week.
You’ll also have a chance to find accountability partners.
When will the class start?
The class will begin on January 28, 2025. We will meet weekly for 7 sessions on Tuesdays at 12:00 EST. Each class will be be 1 to 1 1/2 hours long.
What if I can’t make the live sessions?
If you can’t make the live sessions, I’ll have a replay available by the next day, possibly sooner. The replays will be available until at least 6/1/25, possibly longer, so that you have time to do the class. I will also have an online get together on February 4th at 8:30 PM EST for those who can’t make it during the day to help you find accountability partners.
What is the cost of the class?
Although classes like this are often quite expensive, I want everyone to be able to take it, so I’m offering the class at $27 USD.
Is there a deadline for signing up for the class?
Yes, the deadline is January 28, 2025. This is not an on-demand class so even if you plan to take it later, you’ll need to sign up now so I can email you links to the class videos and homework each week.
Where can I sign up?
To get started, go to the product purchase page by clicking on the button below.
Click here to sign up for the class!
How to Listen to the Podcast
To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here
To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post 7-Week Master Class on Transformation appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Becoming an empty nester can be a challenging time—full of bittersweet goodbyes, new routines, and a lot of questions about what’s next. My guest today on The Christian Habits Podcast, Jill Savage, knows this season well and brings wisdom and encouragement for navigating it with faith and purpose. In this episode, she shares practical insights from her book, Empty Nest, Full Life, on how to let go, grab hold of what matters most, and build a fulfilling life in the empty nest season.
What We Discussed on the Podcast
What to let go of and what to grab hold of as an empty nester
How to employ “pray, don’t say” and trust God with your adult kids’ lives
How to unhitch your emotions from your adult child’s choices and problems
How to become a “safe place for your kids to land” so your kids want you to remain involved in their lives
The importance of rebooting both your marriage and your friendships for a more fulfilled life
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast
Empty Nest, Full Life by Jill Savage
“How to Renew Your Mind” course, starting January 28, 2025. Get more info here.
About Jill Savage
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging families. She is the author or co-author of fourteen books including Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, Real Moms…Real Jesus, Living With Less So Your Family Has More, No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Marriages (with her husband Mark), and her most recent release Empty Nest Full Life.
Featured on Focus on the Family, Crosswalk.com, Family Life Today and Today’s Christian Woman magazine, Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home, an organization that encouraged moms from 1994-2017. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children, three who are married, and eight grandchildren. They make their home in Normal, Illinois.
How to Listen to the Podcast
To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here
To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Jill Savage – How to Thrive as Empty Nesters appeared first on Barb Raveling.
We all experience low points in life; we try our very best to avoid them, but they come anyway! We recoil from the pain, the disappointments, and the difficulties that we face. However, what would happen if we viewed these trials as invitations to experience God? My guest today on the Christian Habits Podcast, Strahan Coleman, has learned to do just that through his many years of chronic illness. Moment by moment, God will meet us in our pain.
What We Discussed on the Podcast
The surprising reason that we have desires
A unique perspective on the essential meaning of life
The place where we find our greatest opportunity to love and to receive God’s love
The mindset shift that casts our pain in a new light
What to do with our negative emotions
A new way to think about repentance and confession
The “wound of love”
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast
Thirsting: Quenching Our Soul’s Deepest Desire
Beholding: Deepening Our Experience in God
Beholding Prayer Podcast on Apple and Spotify
About Strahan Coleman
Strahan Coleman is a writer, poet, and musician living in Aotearoa, New Zealand with his wife and three young boys. Through years of chronic illness, Strahan discovered a friendship with God filled with vulnerability, honesty and unceasing prayer, and now spends his time teaching and providing spaces of deep, rich, Spirit-led prayer for others through his books, prayer schools and spiritual retreats. In his latest work, Thirsting: Quenching Our Soul’s Deepest Desire, Strahan invites his readers to, like him, learn to transform the ache of our lives into our truest prayers, liberating the fire within us to become our greatest gift – our divine homing beacon. Connect with Strahan Coleman at commonerscommunion.com, on Instagram: @commoners_communion, @strahanmusic, or on Spotify.
How to Listen to the Podcast
To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here
To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Strahan Coleman: Thirsting for God appeared first on Barb Raveling.




Thanks Barb, this was very helpful!
that was awesome. Having been through a divorce because of infidelity I wish I'd had this advise.