The Christian Working Woman

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Even though the phrase servant leadership isn’t a biblical term, the Bible does tell us as leaders to serve! I am so thankful for God’s Word and how it truly can inform how we work! Jesus tells us to serve in this passage. Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves (Luke 22:25-26). This verse follows a dispute among the disciples about who would be regarded as the greatest. Although we don’t read as much detail about the last supper in Luke’s account, we need to consider how Jesus modeled servant leadership to the disciples that night. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him (John 13:3-5). Jesus knew he was all powerful. God had put all things under his power yet he took the posture of a lowly servant and washed his disciples’ feet, going as far as to use the towel on his body to dry them. He did not exercise lordship over them and demand they wash his feet, rather as the leader, he was the one who served. Do you exercise lordship, or, as a leader, do you serve? Maybe you are not yet thinking of yourself as a leader. Let’s remove the notions of worldly appointments and titles. Jesus was not considered a leader by the people of his time, at least not in the sense of the synagogue or even in politics. It was through his service of speaking the Word of God, healing the sick, and performing miracles that Jesus came to be seen as a leader. And for some, his leadership blessed them, and others, it threatened. He didn’t demand lordship as the Son of God, demanding to be followed. He was followed because he served! If you find yourself in a position where you do hold a title, are you using this for the betterment of those who see you in this position? What do they see? Are you demanding respect or giving it? Are you watching your team struggle to complete work or are you seeking to help?

Presented by Lauren Stibgen Did you know the widely-used workplace term servant leader doesn’t have roots in the Bible? Sometimes, when something seems to fit what we believe as followers of Jesus, we easily ascribe it to what we know from the Bible. You and I know there is no better wisdom for living than God’s Word! Whether in our personal or business life, we find truth and goodness for any situation we face in His Word. And, although the author and scholar who coined this term didn’t find this truth from the Bible, we clearly see the Word calls us to lead lives as servant leaders. What is it mean to be a servant leader? Coined by Robert Greenleaf in 1970 in an essay “The Servant as a Leader”, Greenleaf seeks to understand a character from a fictional story—not the Bible. This story talks about a band of men on a mythical journey who have a servant who cares for their every need. “Once he disappears, their band falls apart, and everything is in disarray.” One of the members finds the servant later, and discovers he is a “guiding spirit, and noble leader.”[1] To my listeners today, this is why abiding in the Word and in community with other believers is critical! We might say Greenleaf was reading biblical allegory, but he was not! Greenleaf goes on to describe who a servant leader is. Some of a servant’s characteristics include someone who desires to serve and then become a leader rather than having a leader-first attitude seeking unusual power or material possessions. A servant leader makes sure the needs of other people are his highest priority, and they are receiving benefits from the servant leader. Further descriptors of servant leadership include empowering others, standing back to let others shine, humility, authenticity, courage, accountability, acceptance of other perspectives, and stewardship. Let’s replace this fictional character and the worldly descriptors and think of Jesus in God’s word, which is where we need to seek our wisdom about being a servant leader! --- [1] Greenleaf, R. K. (1970). The servant as leader. The Greenleaf Center For Servant Leadership, Cop.

Presented by Lauren Stibgen As Christians, we often consider ourselves servant leaders, but how was this phrase born into our business vocabulary as something to aspire to whether you are a follower of Jesus or not? And why do we consider servant leadership biblical at all? First, for those of you who missed the conversation about the roots of servant leadership in secular business, it all began in 1970 when Robert Greenleaf mused over an allegory about a servant who ended up being a leader of a great band of men. This story was not biblical, but it sparked the thought that those who serve with an others-first focus can become some of the greatest leaders; more than leaders who are bestowed with a title who desire power, authority, and self-focused gratification. The phrase servant leader is not specifically found in the Bible. How many times is the word leader even used in the Bible? Just a quick look in my Bible’s concordance—you know the list of words in the back with references to verses—the word leader is not listed. Only, lead, leads and led. People who lead are listed. Rulers along with kings, but both rulers and kings would better describe appointed positions of authority. In the New Testament, the word diakonia—meaning servant or service—is the most used word to describe people in leadership. Not surprising the words servant, servants, serve, and service take up much more space in the concordance than any of the other “official” terms for the appointed offices. Perhaps this is why we are drawn to the term servant leader as followers of Jesus. It is deeply connected to the Word of God in describing those in the early church. In Romans 16:1 speaks of Phoebe, a servant and patron of the church. 1 Corinthians 3:5 exhorts, What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. We know each of these servants were in fact leaders of the early church. All early church leaders had one thing in common—submission and obedience to the will of God in their lives. They looked to their relationship with God in Jesus before even considering the work before them. In his book, Forgotten God, Francis Chan sums up our need for seeking and submission well in his introduction when he writes, “…as believers we can never be done with God. He is infinite and we are finite; there will always be more of his character to discover, more of his love to experience and more of his power to use for his purposes.”[1] More of his power—not my power—to lead. His power made perfect through me for his purposes. True servant leadership begins in submission to God through Christ Jesus. We see this throughout Scripture. We see the success of those who submit themselves to the Lord’s will and the failure and despair of those who choose to lead by selfish ambition and pride. True servant leadership as a follower of Jesus Christ starts with a posture of submission. Is this on a leadership description for your next job—must be willing to submit. We can all say probably not. But are you willing to submit in order to become a better servant leader? God rarely uses the shiny, well-educated people to make the biggest impact for his kingdom. Remember, the disciples were mostly fishermen and a tax collector! So, if you are submitted, be prepared for God to use you as a servant leader right where you are! I have thought a lot about the Old Testament prophet Elijah. Submission to the will of God was most of his story, and God used him to glorify himself during a deeply sinful time filled with idol worship. Found in 1 Kings, God used Elijah to give word to Ahab of a drought in the land. During this time, the Lord sent Elijah away where ravens and a non-Israelite widow provided for him! We learn he stayed by a river for a while, and when it dried up, Elijah moved on. He was completely reliant on God and obedient to his call. Finally,

Here’s the word of wisdom for today: The quality of your work reveals your character. Did you realize your work tells what kind of person you are? The Bible tells us the works of God reveal to us what kind of God he is. The beauty of his creation, the majesty and grandeur of his universe give us a clear view of his character and his personality. That's true of us as well. Just suppose someone who doesn't know you at all was asked to write a description of you based upon an audit and inspection of your work. What would that audit reveal? Are you careful to do your work with thoroughness, or would your work reveal a careless attitude? Does your work show you are considerate of the person at the receiving end or at the next stage of your work? Or would the inspector conclude you're in a hurry to get through and get going, because your work is sloppy? When your work involves dealing with other people, would it reveal an attitude of respect and concern for others? Do you think the inspector would conclude you care about other people, and you treat everyone with respect? Or would it reveal a callousness toward others, treating them like numbers and not bothering to be kind and considerate toward them? Could anyone tell by the quality of your work you do it as unto the Lord? Would it look different from those who aren't Christians? As I look at the work of God's hands, I know so much about his loving, caring nature. His work reveals his character to me. Your work reveals your character as well. Would you be pleased to have someone describe you based on the work you’ve done this week? It's a good word of wisdom we need to think about frequently. Remember, you'll find a copy of this devotional along with a set of Wisdom for the Workplace cards for your use here.

Do you need a word of wisdom for the workplace today? I’m offering nuggets of wisdom for the workplace. In fact, you can have a set of cards here, very nicely designed, with these words of wisdom, for your own edification, or to pass along to a friend who may be in need. Here’s my word of wisdom for today: Don’t let anxiety or fear rob you of God’s peace. Are you feeling anxious about something today? Are you very disturbed by a situation in your life? Does it seem impossible to find any rest and peace right now? All of us have gone through and are still going through difficult times, which creates anxiety and fear. A passage in Isaiah 48 is very helpful when you are not at peace. This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea (Isaiah 48:17-18). Anxiety and unrest are often a result of our failure to pay attention to what we know about God. Rarely do we need some new truth or principle; we just need to practice what we know already. I find I rarely make a deliberate decision to wander from God's principles. It's simply a failure to pay attention to what I know already. My focus gets fractured. I move slightly off-center, simply because I haven't paid attention like I should. And when this happens, I lose my peace, and I’m anxious and frustrated. When you start to dig underneath those outward effects, you often discover the cause is failure to pay attention to God's commands. It may be something that seems very small, but if we walk away from doing it God's way, we can expect to lose the peace and rest we so need. The Lord told his people, if only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river. If you’re missing peace in your life today, see if there’s some area where you’re not paying attention to God. Once you get that straightened out, that wonderful, marvelous, indescribable peace will return, like a river, flooding your heart and calming your nerves.

I'm wondering, have you read the verse which says, "Be kind to everyone who is kind to you. Be kind to the people you like. Be kind when you want to impress someone, or when there's something in it for you"? No, you haven't seen this verse in Scripture, but Paul wrote to Timothy, And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Timothy 2:24). That’s my word of wisdom for the workplace today: Be kind to everyone. In fact, we’ve put these words on a set of cards, designed to help you remember them or to pass them along to someone else who may need a word of wisdom for the day. You’ll find them ready for your use here. Today it’s “Be kind to everyone.” I once witnessed a situation in which a Christian sister was obviously unkind to a person simply because she didn’t like that kind of person. Based on her prejudices and some bad experiences she had, she had classified a group of people as undesirable. And so, she was obviously unkind to this person. My heart was hurt to see a Christian treat someone unkindly. Then I realized I probably do similar things all too often. I mean, it's easy to be kind to people who seem to deserve our kindness. But the Bible says we are to be kind to everyone. That includes strangers, people who irritate us, people who are not kind to us—everyone includes everyone! Once I was unkind to a clerk at a hotel who was not very efficient at her job. Her lack of efficiency inconvenienced me just a bit, and though I didn't say anything, I'm sure the look on my face and my body language was most unkind. How easy it would have been for me to say something kind to her, to make her feel a little more comfortable, to forget my minor inconvenience and try to help her a bit. The Holy Spirit hit me between the eyes as I walked away. I heard him say, “You had one chance to show her what Jesus is like, and you showed her what you are like.” Ouch! The Lord's servant must be kind to everyone, even people who don't do their jobs as well as they should. Where do you often fail to be kind? Shore up this area with prayer and ask God to help you to be kind, as the servant of the Lord should be, to everyone.

Are you tired today? I have a word of wisdom for you. You can have these nuggets of wisdom on some cards we’ve prepared. Then you can use the cards to remind yourself of these important principles, or you may want to give some to others who are struggling with workplace issues. Today’s wisdom for the workplace is: Remember being tired is inevitable, but if you’re tired for the wrong reasons, then you need to take some action. First, let me assure you it's okay to be tired. Jesus was often tired while he was here on earth. You remember when he fell asleep on the boat, and a terrible storm didn't awaken him. He was tired. We read in John 4 he was tired from a long journey. We know Jesus understands our tired bodies and minds because he experienced it while he took the form of man on earth. He sympathizes with our weaknesses and the limitations we face. Just knowing that helps me a lot. But we need to determine if we're tired for the wrong reasons. Have you been trying to be all things to all people lately? It’s exhausting—and you can never succeed. Perhaps you've taken on jobs God never intended you to do, and you're tired from trying to do too much. Maybe you're trying to do everything to total perfection. Perfectionists are usually very tired people, trying to prove something to themselves and to the world by being perfect all the time. You may be tired because you've got your priorities confused. Someone has said, "There's always time to do God's will," and I think it's true God would never ask of us more than our bodies and minds can do without going into overload and burn-out. But when we confuse our priorities, it causes weariness and exhaustion. Remember this important message from Isaiah: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:30-32). You may have a copy of this devotional as well as these cards giving these words of wisdom for the Workplace. You can use these cards to encourage yourself each day or pass them on to others who may need a word of wisdom. This is available here.

I want to give you some specific wisdom for the workplace. In fact, I want you to have a set of cards with these nuggets of wisdom which you can take to your job, use them for yourself, or even give to others as an encouraging word. You’ll find those here. Here’s today’s wisdom for the workplace from Luke 12:15: Jesus said, Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed (Luke 12:15). This greed problem is nothing new. And we certainly must watch out for the many kinds of greed. There's greed for power, the drive to have authority and influence over other people. And greed for prestige and fame. Of course, greed for material possessions is very commonplace. Almost daily we hear of another scandal where greed for money has driven people to destroy their whole lives. When you think about it, greed is pride. It is that desire within us to show the world who we are by our status in life, our possessions, or our fame. Greed is a direct result of the pride of life. Greed is contagious. If you're around people who have lots of things and who focus their life on getting more and more things, you'll discover it's very difficult not to be swept right along into their greedy mindset. Greed is cancerous. It grows fast, and it consumes and destroys everything it touches. No wonder Jesus said we must be on our guard against all kinds of greed. Jesus went on to say a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. Greed can overtake us quickly and completely distort our priorities and our commitment to the Lord. Jesus said life is more than food or clothes; life is peace and contentment. Those can't be bought; they are found only in Jesus. Our wisdom for the workplace today is: Be on your guard today against the greed that surrounds you, especially in the working world. It wants to drag you right into its currents, but by God's grace, you can be victorious.

We have seen how Jesus was such a great leader because he knew who he reported to, and he made sure he fulfilled his boss's expectations. Also, he knew what his mission was, he stayed focused, and he didn't try to jump through the expectation hoops of others. Jesus was always ready to celebrate, and that made him a great leader. Then one thing I really love about Jesus is he always had time for little people—every individual was important to him no matter his/her age, status, or position. Now, let's look at some additional examples of what made Jesus such a great leader. Jesus was a great leader because he was willing to look foolish to others. Do you realize great leaders throughout history have been willing to take risks with their public image, and they didn't spend their time worrying about what people would think of them? Anytime a person is primarily focused on what others think, they are handicapped because they lose the freedom to do what they think is the right and best thing to do. How do you think Noah looked when he started building the ark? Pretty foolish and stupid, don't you imagine? And when Moses told Pharoah to let his people go, he had to look like an insane person, approaching Pharoah with his threats. The great prophet Elijah had to ask a poor widow for food, which some would have considered very demeaning. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was willing not only to look foolish, but also to lose her good reputation in order to bear the Son of God. Had any of these people been primarily concerned with what the neighbors would say, none would have accomplished their God-given purpose. Jesus was not concerned about what people would think. For example, he cried over a city that was not repentant—a grown man crying. But he didn't care what people thought. His heart broke for those people. He rode a donkey in a parade, a lowly beast. Most leaders would have demanded more appropriate transportation, but he sought out a simple donkey to ride on. And, of course, the ultimate example was he was willing to go through a shameful trial and die on a cursed cross, enduring the scorn and abuse of his enemies, to accomplish God's plan. We need to consider this as we approach our jobs and duties. Are you overly concerned with what people will say or think? If so, you may miss the opportunities and blessings God has for you. It's impossible to please everyone anyway, but when we focus on pleasing God, we will please more people as well. Jesus was a great leader because he was willing to do the difficult work. Do you remember the time Jesus determined to go to Jerusalem for Passover? His disciples did not want him to go there because they knew there were people plotting to kill him, just waiting for him to arrive. They wanted to spare him that difficulty, but he knew he was supposed to be there, and he went. Also, he was willing to say no to people when necessary, though I'm sure he didn't enjoy disappointing people. Often the disciples wanted him to do one thing when he knew he should do another, and he would tell them "no.” He even said "no" to his mother and brothers who wanted to interrupt his teaching to speak to him. Jesus also said "no" to himself. Satan tried to tempt him with very enticing promises, and he had the wisdom to say "no" to the easy way out. He knew he had to discipline himself to do what God wanted him to do. Then there was Gethsemane, where Jesus came face to face with the most difficult thing he would ever do: Drink the cup of death and sin that was necessary to pay the price of redemption. None of us can even imagine how hard that was to do—to become sin for us even though he had never sinned. But he did the difficult thing because it was the right thing to do. If you and I are ever going to be effective leaders, we must be willing to do the hardest and most difficult work. Often people see those in leadership as having it easy but from my experience,

Presented by Julie Busteed I’ve been looking at what it takes to build healthy relationships. And I’ve saved the best for last: forgiveness. This verse in Matthew always catches me short. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15). I need to take to heart this command! Relationships are living, growing things because they involve people who are growing and changing. And because you are human, there will be times when words are spoken or actions are taken that hurt someone in the relationship. You and I need to forgive others and also ask for forgiveness—things that are not easy to do, except through the power of the Holy Spirit. But wait—there’s more! Jesus said we should love our enemies. I look at Jesus’ example of laying down his life for you and me. When he was on the cross, suffering, he forgave those who crucified him. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). That’s the ultimate in forgiving your enemies. It really seems quite impossible, doesn’t it? Jesus was fully God and fully man. But I don’t think that excuses you or me to forgive even our enemies. Corrie Ten Boom and her family helped many Jewish people escape the Nazi’s in WW2. As a result, she was arrested and sent to Ravensbrück concentration camp. She survived and wrote books and spoke about her experience. Corrie recounts the following as she was speaking about forgiveness at a church in Munich in 1947: Afterward, I saw him—a man moving toward me through the crowd. I recognized him instantly: a former guard from Ravensbrück, the concentration camp where my sister Betsie and I had been imprisoned for hiding Jews. He approached me, now dressed in civilian clothes, and said, “A fine message, Fräulein. How good it is to know that all our sins are at the bottom of the sea.” Then he extended his hand. “I was a guard at Ravensbrück. I’ve become a Christian, and I know God has forgiven me, but I would like to hear it from you. Will you forgive me?” I stood frozen, remembering Betsie’s suffering and death. Forgive him? I could not. Yet I knew Jesus’ words: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive yours.” Forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s an act of the will. So, I prayed silently, “Jesus, help me. I can lift my hand; You supply the feeling.” Mechanically, I reached out—and as I did, a current seemed to pass from my shoulder to our joined hands. A warmth filled my heart. “I forgive you, brother,” I said, “with all my heart.” In that moment, I felt God’s love more deeply than ever before.[1] May you and I be obedient and lift our hands and trust God to fill us with his love. --- [1] Corrie Ten Boom, Sherrill, E., & Sherrill, J. L. (2008). The hiding place. Chosen Books.

Presented by Julie Busteed Humility may not be the first trait that comes to your mind as an essential element in healthy relationships. That’s what I will look at today as we continue to seek to grow healthy relationships. The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word humility is I need to have a low opinion of myself. But that’s not correct. It’s about being interested in others. Serving others. Yes, modesty is part of humility, but it’s not being down on yourself. It’s putting others first. Paul exhorts the Philippians and us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others (Philippians 2:3-4). Becky Harling, author of Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World, writes humble people come in curious to the conversation, and this curiosity is the superpower of connections! They listen and ask questions. They don’t come in like the expert. I love that! We can have this superpower if we are simply interested and curious. And that’s what I think the Apostle Paul is talking about—to look not to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Humility also is shown by just being kind, lending a hand, helping a coworker. My friend Heather recently showed a beautiful example of humility. She had her day carefully planned with a full to-do list, but when a friend reached out to spend time together, she chose to set her plans aside. It wasn’t what she had intended for the day, and honestly, it wasn’t what she felt like doing at the moment—but she recognized her friend needed someone to listen. What makes this even more meaningful is this friendship isn’t always easy or comfortable. Yet that very morning, Heather “happened” to read Proverbs 3:27–28. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you’—when you already have it with you (Proverbs 3:27–28). Those verses were a timely reminder that God sometimes calls us to act in the moment—to give of ourselves, our time, or our attention—when it’s within our power to do so. Heather reflected the heart of Christ that day by choosing relationship over routine, allowing herself to be “interrupted” in order to show love and kindness right when it was needed most. I pray you and I will be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).

Presented by Julie Busteed I’m looking at some strategies to help grow and build relationships—principles that apply at work, home, church—with everyone. The first two strategies I looked at were loving others and communication skills. I think integrity is also an important component in healthy relationships. Integrity really covers several qualities. It’s being honest, having strong moral principles, and being trustworthy and reliable. A great example of integrity in the Old Testament is Daniel. He was taken into captivity from Israel to Babylon, and he became an adviser to the Babylonian kings because of his integrity and trust in God. For many, it’s a familiar story but to recap: Daniel refuses to bow down and worship a man-made idol. He worships and prays to God. As a result, he is thrown into a literal lion’s den. The next morning, he testifies that my God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight (Daniel 6:22a). Not only did God protect and preserve Daniel, but King Darius also decrees everyone in his kingdom must fear and revere the God of Daniel. Daniel’s integrity and courage not only effected his own life, but the entire kingdom was now to fear God. He trusted and honored God in his actions, and his integrity was evident to his employer, resulting in a testimony to the entire kingdom. Integrity can also be something significant done privately, not for public recognition. A friend of mine recently showed a great example of integrity. She just published a book through a traditional publisher. Normally, when you work with a publisher, you receive an advance against future royalties—meaning you don’t earn additional royalties until the book’s sales cover that advance. And if the book doesn’t sell enough to cover it, the author doesn’t have to pay it back. That’s completely normal. But my friend told me she wants to make sure her book’s sales do reach that advance amount. She’s putting in extra effort to promote and market her book because she doesn’t want to be a burden to the publisher. She isn’t required to do this—it’s not part of her contract—but she feels it’s the right thing to do. Quiet integrity. In both of these examples, integrity was a vital characteristic in dealing with others. Integrity directed how they should act in certain situations—be it life or death—or something that’s not really seen by others. With faith in God and belief he is faithful, they lived out their lives in honor to him. Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out (Proverbs 10:9). When we live our lives with integrity, we can walk securely—quietly resting upon God’s favor and gracious providence.

Presented by Julie Busteed Are there people in your life you find difficult to get along with or really understand? I am examining biblical strategies to help grow and build healthy relationships, and communication is a key tool. A verse you might be familiar with is everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19b). Honestly if we all practiced that, I think there would be much less miscommunication. Let’s break this down. What does it mean to be quick to listen? Studies show good communication is essential for organizations. Marjorie North—a communications expert—says we only hear half of what is being said in any given conversation. It’s true, isn’t it? I can be distracted by something outside the conversation, or I can begin to form a response to something the person said. No matter what distracts me, I struggle to listen. You and I need to practice active listening. And I mean practice; it will take a lot of practice. Put the distractions away—and by this, I mean your phone! Give the person your full attention. I know someone who is so good at this. I can tell when I am speaking to him I have his full attention. It’s a great thing to be heard—really heard. Some other ways to be quick to listen is to repeat back what you believe you heard the person saying. And if you don’t understand something, ask clarifying questions. Try not to interrupt them. What does it mean to be slow to speak? I think we need to be careful and thoughtful. Examine your words before you say them. Depending on what the conversation is, you might even need some time to think before responding. Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them (Proverbs 29:20). Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:3). James also goes on to talk about our tongues—what we say and how our words can bless or curse others. He compares our tongue to the bit that steers a horse or the rudder that guides a ship. What comes out of your mouth can not only corrupt your whole body but others as well. The Psalmist prays to set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3). And the Apostle Paul encourages the Ephesians to not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29). Good communication in relationships is necessary. It’s a skill you and I can practice and improve, but we need to be mindful and intentional.

Presented by Julie Busteed Have you ever said or thought this? “I’d love this job if it just wasn’t for the people!” I know this is a sarcastic saying—it’s more tongue in cheek—but it’s how we feel sometimes isn’t it? Yet as Christ-followers, the greatest command Jesus gave us is to love God and love others. This week, we’ll look at some strategies to help us as we relate to others around us—our family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39). The first priority in dealing with our relationships is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind! Our relationship with God is essential. It affects everything, including our relationships with others. Take a minute to ask yourself these questions: Are you spending daily time with God? Reading his Word? Praying? This is the first place to start. It’s vital for you and me to make our relationship with God the foundation of our lives. Sometimes it can be easy to think, “I have a relationship with God, and that’s enough. I don’t need others. I don’t need to go to church.” But that’s not true either. God is a triune God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There is community between them, and as image-bearers, we need community not only with God but also with each other. God made you for community and connection. Since you and I are made to be in community, how do we do this well? Jesus goes on to say we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. What does it mean to love your neighbor? Love is an action—not just a feeling—a romantic feeling. It’s not the same as like. Love is giving of yourself and putting others first. It could look like delivering a meal to someone in need. Or helping a coworker with a project. Or praying with or for someone. It can take many forms; the main thing is that you see others—notice when they are in need—and reach out to help and care for them.

It seems like many people don’t think of themselves as a leader because they don’t hold a position that identifies them as a leader. So, when they hear messages on how to be a better leader, they figure it doesn’t apply to them. But you know, the truth is we are all leaders in some way or another. Some of us are the up-front obvious types who lead groups of people. Others are quiet leaders, who influence and persuade others behind the scenes. And believe me, there is someone in your life right now who looks at you as a leader. So, whatever form of leadership you may have, this message on the leadership qualities of our Lord will apply to you. Why was Jesus such a great leader? Here are some reasons: Jesus was a great leader because he fulfilled his boss's expectations. Jesus kept in close contact with his Father. He said again and again that he always did what pleased his Father and spoke what the Father taught him. In John 7:18, Jesus said, Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. When is the last time you checked with your boss to see if you're working to his or her satisfaction? Do you spend enough time with your boss to understand his or her priorities, so you are doing things that please your boss? It really is your job to make sure you've got the marching orders right. And besides, it is simply smart to take initiative of letting your boss know you need and appreciate his or her feedback. Maybe you're thinking: You don't know my boss, Mary. It's impossible to communicate with him or her. Well, that may or may not be true, but you should do everything you can to improve that communication. Many times, we excuse our own lack of effort by saying "He never listens to me" or "I can't get any feedback from her," or "This company doesn't care what I think!” Pray about it and ask God to give you some creative ways to improve communication with your boss. That's the mark of a good worker and a good leader; certainly, Jesus was careful to stay in close contact with the One who had sent him. In any business or organization, the ultimate boss is the customer. Ed Koch was a mayor of New York famous for walking the streets of his city, stopping people, and asking them, "How am I doing?" He recognized he reported to the people who had elected him, and he wanted to please them if possible. Who is your customer? You may think I don't have customers; my company does. Or I don't have customers; I work at home. But I would ask you to re-think that response. Everybody has customers! Here's why: Your customer is the person who creates the need for your job. If they didn't exist or didn't have certain needs, your job would be unnecessary. Think about it and clearly identify your own personal customers. Those are the people you need to please. Your customer probably falls into several categories—internal and external, above and below you, business and personal. People outside and inside your organization who depend on you for help, information, service, etc. Even those who are not employed have customers. For moms your customers are your family members; they certainly create the need for your job. So, in a real sense, we all work for our customers. Therefore, we should be very attentive to their needs and requests, since they are critical people in our lives and livelihood. But more importantly, we should want to please them out of a desire to do things right, just as Jesus wanted to please his Father. So, Jesus was a great leader because he gave careful attention to his boss, the Father, and did what the Father wanted him to do. Another reason Jesus was such an outstanding leader is he knew what his mission was, he stayed focused, and he didn't try to jump through the expectation hoops of others. Do you remember when the disciples told Jesus the whole town was waiting to hear him sp...

How would you like to work with someone who resents you, is jealous of you, and treats you rudely? That’s what our friend Fran is facing on her job. Jenny, a new coworker, has been asked to work under Fran’s supervision, but her jealousy and resentment have become obvious to the boss, Marilyn. While Marilyn is having a private talk with Jenny, Fran is in her office praying for guidance. She told God if he wants her to relinquish this new account to Jenny, she will do so. In a few minutes Marilyn walks into her office. “Fran, I explained to Jenny that I make the business decisions here, and I reminded her she was fully informed of what her status would be when she requested the transfer here. So, she’s agreed to work with you on this account. If you have any problem, you let me know.” “Marilyn,” Fran says, “I’m willing to give her the account if you want me to. But I’m not sure how easy it’s going to be for us to work together.” “There’s no way I’m going to let you give up that account. You won it, and it’s yours. And if anybody can work with Jenny, you can, Fran.” And with that Marilyn goes back to her office. Since it’s almost quitting time, Fran heads for the door just as Jenny is leaving. “Jenny,” Fran says, “I know you’re not happy with this latest arrangement. I can understand how you feel…” “Oh, give me a break, Fran. You don’t understand or care how I feel,” Jenny comes back with great anger. “Just don’t think I’m going to do all the dirty work.” “Jenny, please,” Fran begins, “I even offered to give you the account, but Marilyn insists we can work together. I certainly want to try.” “You offered to give me the account?” Jenny is incredulous. “I don’t believe it. You’re just trying to make points with Marilyn. Just don’t expect me to do your work for you, Fran.” Fran recognizes there is no way she can have a rational conversation with Jenny, so she goes to her car and heads home. The tears start to come. “Lord, what am I going to do?” What is Fran going to do? There’s no happy ending to this story. Fran cannot turn Jenny around, and as they work together, Jenny increases her attacks on Fran. Many times, Fran is tempted to go to Marilyn and tell her what’s happening, but each time she has a check in her spirit. She spends many miserable days trying to work with Jenny. Finally, Jenny resigns her position and leaves the company, full of bitterness and anger. “It’s so sad,” Fran says to the Lord, “and I feel bad for her. But Lord, what more could I do?” Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy (Proverbs 27:4). Not every story has a happy ending, even when we obey the Lord and do what he tells us to do. But we can trust the results to him.

Jealousy can cause any of us to do and say things that are hurtful and wrong. Fran is learning first-hand how the jealousy of a coworker can be very painful. Jenny is jealous of Fran because of her success in the company. Now with a new account Fran has just signed up, it appears Marilyn is going to assign Jenny to work with Fran on it. For Fran, it’s the worst possible news she could hear, because Jenny has been openly arrogant and rude to Fran. As she and Jenny go into Marilyn’s office, Jenny says to Fran, “If you think I’m going to take orders from you, think again, Fran. I know more about this account than you will ever know.” Fran has no opportunity to respond, as Marilyn walks in at that moment. “Well, it seems to me,” Marilyn says, “you two are a perfect match to work on the Edwards account, since you have a lot of good experience with construction companies, Jenny.” The silence is deafening. Nobody says anything. Marilyn continues, “I am right, am I not, Jenny? You had a large construction account in Atlanta?” “I certainly did,” Jenny begins, “much larger than this one.” The anger in her voice is obvious. “I see,” Marilyn says, beginning to sense there is a problem here. “Do you have a problem working with Fran on this account?” “Well, truthfully, I think Fran should be working with me on the account, Marilyn, seeing how I know this business much better than she does,” Jenny says. She is beginning to lose control. “I think you should just let me handle this account. That would make the best business sense.” “I see,” says Marilyn. “So, you don’t want to work with Fran on the account?” “Like I said,” Jenny begins again, “I think she should…” “I know,” Marilyn continues, “you think she should work for you. We better have a talk about this. Fran, would you excuse us please?” As Fran walks back to her office, she is literally shaking. Fran prays, “Lord, do you want me to just volunteer to give her the account?” A battle goes on inside of Fran as she wrestles with this issue. She prays and fumes and thinks, and finally she says, “Lord, I can’t stand Jenny, and there’s no way I could give her this account. But if you want me to do it, I can do it for you. So, right now I relinquish the control and I’m willing to do what you want me to do. Just show me.” And with that, she sits quietly. Her spirit calms down, and the peace of God descends upon her—that peace that passes understanding. As soon as she lets go of her rights and gives the Lord permission to do his will, she can relax. Now she is in a win-win situation. It’s difficult to let go, isn’t it? But letting go and giving God the control always brings peace.

We continue our most recent story of Fran and Jesus on the Job. Fran finds herself on the receiving end of a jealous coworker, who is very vocal and very vicious in her attitude toward Fran. A week ago, Fran made an important presentation to a new prospect, and today is the day she is to get their answer. This morning, in some quiet time with the Lord, Fran prays, “Lord, once again I give over to you the results of this new business. I pray you will give me a favorable response, but no matter what happens, help me to be gracious and kind.” Then she thinks about Jenny. Fran has struggled to have a right attitude toward her, because Jenny has said some unkind and rude things to Fran. “Lord, I know Jenny is not in my life by accident. I don’t like her, Lord, but I want to be willing to let you love her through me. And Lord, help me to see her the way you see her. I know underneath her tough exterior and her angry demeanor, there is a big hurt only you can heal. Please help me to see her through your eyes.” About ten o’clock that morning, Fran makes the call and to her great delight, she learns they will sign a contract with her. She makes an appointment to be at their office first thing tomorrow morning, then goes in to tell her boss. “Congratulations, Fran,” Marilyn says, as she shakes her hand. “That is great news. We’ll announce it at the meeting this afternoon.” Marilyn is obviously pleased. As the department gathers for the meeting, Marilyn enthusiastically announces Fran’s success. “This is a very significant account, and Fran did a great job to land it. Obviously, she’ll be needing help from the team. In fact, Jenny, since you’ve had some experience with construction companies, it might make sense for you to help Fran out. We can talk about that.” Fran’s stomach does a couple of somersaults. How could Marilyn do that to her? She can never work with Jenny. Now what is she going to do? As the meeting ends, everybody is congratulating Fran. Jenny starts to walk out without saying anything, when Marilyn stops her. “Jenny, why don’t you and Fran come into my office for a few minutes. Let’s talk about this new account.” “Lord,” Fran prays silently, “I need wisdom, and I need grace. Please help me. You know I can’t work with Jenny. Please deliver me.” She can hear that inner voice of God’s Spirit responding to her panic. “What you can’t do, I can.” With that assurance, she heads toward Marilyn’s office.

Solomon wrote: Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy (Proverbs 27:4). Who indeed? Fran is discovering just how dangerous it is to work with a jealous coworker. A woman named Jenny transferred to Fran’s office and accepted a lower position. She has become more and more vocal about how over-qualified she is for her job. Today Fran and her good friend, Louise, are walking to the cafeteria when Jenny walks in behind them. Fran and Louise have tried unsuccessfully to be friendly to Jenny, but they try once again. “Want to join us for lunch?” Louise asks. “Yeah, why not,” Jenny responds. As they sit down to eat, Jenny says to Fran, “You had a presentation today, didn’t you, Fran?” “Yeah, we’re trying to get the Edwards Construction account,” Fran replies. Jenny says, “I landed the largest construction company in the Southeast when I worked in Atlanta, you know.” Fran can feel the anger start to creep up within her. She sends up a wordless prayer before she responds. “I wish I had known, Jenny. I could have used your help.” “Well, they should have let me have that account,” Jenny says. “I’ve got the experience that would have guaranteed we would get it. How did the presentation go?” It’s all Fran can do to answer Jenny with a civil tone of voice. “I really couldn’t tell. They said it would be a week before they decide.” Louise is angry, too, and she just can’t sit there without defending her friend. She says, “I can assure you, if anyone can get that account, Fran can. I’m sure you did a great job, Fran.” Jenny laughs and says, “Well, Louise, I’d expect you to say that about your good friend, but I’m looking at it from a business perspective. With my experience, I would have done a better job.” “Excuse me,” Louise retorts, “but that’s your opinion and you ought to keep it to yourself.” “Oh, Louise, don’t take everything so personal. I’m just saying it like it is,” Jenny replies. “I call that rude,” Louise says. “Hey,” Fran interjects, “this conversation is getting out of hand. Thanks for your loyalty, Louise, but Jenny has a right to her opinion. Maybe we better get back to work.” As they start to leave, Jenny says, “You know, it’s stupid for women to be so emotional about these things. I’m just talking business, and you two keep taking it personal.” Fran and Louise walk away without another word to Jenny, but steam is coming out of Louise’s ears. “Can you believe that woman? She’s just jealous of you, Fran.” And jealousy can be dangerous.

Have you ever worked with someone who was jealous of you? In Fran and Jesus on the Job, Fran discovers a coworker is not only jealous of her but seeks to ruin her. As I periodically present these stories of Fran and Jesus, it is my prayer you will be encouraged to practice the presence of Jesus on your job and seek his guidance in every situation you face. On this Wednesday morning, Marilyn, Fran’s boss, comes into her office and says, “Fran, I want you to meet Jenny. She just transferred here from our Atlanta office, and she’ll be working with Phil as his assistant.” “Glad to meet you,” Fran says, as she extends her hand. “If I can help in any way, let me know.” “Yes, Jenny, you can always count on Fran. She’s one of our best account reps, so she knows the ropes well,” Marilyn adds. “That’s nice,” Jenny says, “but I can hold my own. I…uh…I was sales leader in the Atlanta office last year, but I had to transfer out here because my husband took a new job, so…” “Well,” Marilyn chimes in, “we just didn’t have a sales slot for Jenny right now, but I’m sure something will open up before too long.” “I sure hope so,” Jenny says. “I didn’t put in all that hard work as an account rep to work as an assistant.” It is obvious Jenny is not happy with her current assignment. As they leave, Fran thinks: She acts like she’s too good to have that job. I think she’s going to be trouble. But as soon as she starts that kind of thinking, the Spirit of God convicts her. “I’m sorry, Lord,” she prays quietly, “forgive me for thinking of her in negative ways. Help me to have the right attitude toward her.” Fran is learning a very important principle about dealing with people. When you are working with someone you don’t particularly like, don’t allow yourself to indulge in derogatory thoughts about the person. Instead, pray for him or her. Every time you are tempted to think unkind thoughts about the person, just stop right in the middle and change those thoughts to a prayer. Pray for your attitude toward the person and pray for him or her.