In which the guys say goodbye with the help of a few of the guests the Chuckwagon has seen over its tenure.
In which John and Seth discuss the specialest of ops and how incompetent Seagal really is while finishing the worst series in television history, True Justice.
In which Seth and Freeland lay out the future and embark on a new journey.
In which the guys are terrible at making a schedule and give you several unheard segments from the cutting room floor. Bits include Freeland’s book mania, how toxic Halloween costumes are, sad lunches, Freeland trying to open a can of she crab soup, Freeland as a thief, the market price of a blowjob, eating expired foods, and Freeland dropping mouse traps down his pants.
In which the guys, plus Derek Tokaz, discuss revenge against Pep Boys, when to pull your pants up in public restroom, father lectures, the age of consent Google map, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Cat Stevens, Ricky Jay, Zulu, rugby culture, death by atomic wedgie, Sherlock Holmes pun pitches, and that time Freeland electrocuted himself.
In which Freeland sets about finding a personal center by photographing snow owls, Seth pitches a Chuckwagon Revival card game, and John attends another terrible wedding. The guys discuss Arrow, Anchorman 2, American Hustle, and the Wolf of Wall Street. Seth shares what traumas people have brought to their penises, John pitches a classic 80s flick with an unconventional cast, and Freeland lets us guess what his resolutions are for this year.
In which the guys discuss their Christmases which included tears, wine, knives, lectures, and anthropomorphic dog and cat detectives. Freeland watches a bunch of movies and John tells of an unfortunate trip to Sea World from his youth. The gang answers a few questions from Yahoo Answers and then pitches a new TV show about a lady in love with a ferris wheel.
In which Freeland returns and there is much rejoicing. The gang provides some needed business advice to Freeland who is looking to start his own company. Seth sees a baby get changed in a Fuddruckers booth. John pitches a television show about a time traveling microwave.
In which John and Seth discuss the differences between a pile of bricks and a brick wall. Meanwhile, Seagal murders more people and brings down the Yakuza in a very roundabout way, like decapitation.
In which John and Seth have issues that require tissues. Seagal deals with the Yakuza and a guy who had his house foreclosed on. He also giggles like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and isn’t sure what an orifice is.
In which John and Seth grow big ass beards for the fun of it. Seagal deals with the very serious topic of PTSD with the subtlety of a hot dog colored man with sausages for fingers. This episode ends with the single best piece of audio that has ever been recorded; from God’s pen to your ears.
In which John and Seth get a bunch of sharpie tattoos that won’t come off. Seagal battles the Aryan nation in an abandoned high school while one of his team smokes some meth. He’s also concerned about a bomb waking up a neighborhood, so you know his priorities are set correctly.
In which John and Seth cuts the throat of the inmate that is True Justice. Seagal murders someone in cold blood, is a bodyguard for an Asian liberal filmmaker, and makes Batman style deductions from text messages. Oh and he also defuses a bomb without being able to see it.
In which John and Seth stick their fingers in the mouth of this Seagal opus. Bad ecstasy is killing people and it’s up to Seagal and his team to find out who and why in a city with 10,000 rave clubs. Also, one of his team members has emphysema…yeah don’t ask us either.
In which John and Seth venture into the world of possible copycat serial killers or just regular serial killers…it’s tough to say. Bikers are immolated and dead mother’s last books are touched. Seagal is still wearing hunting glasses at night.
In which John and Seth venture into the world of Chinese black magic…or Seagal’s interpretation of it, which is laughable. A guest star rocks their world and they discover someone with a reverse Hitler mustache. Why is Seagal wearing hunting glasses at night?
In which John and Seth continue on with episode two of True Justice and the thrilling conclusion of the first two parter. Thrilling is a subjective word. Also, what’s a split tail?
In which John and Seth embark on an epic journey to experience all of Steven Seagal’s police procedural, True Justice. What is the bucket of sand for?!
In which the guys, minus Freeland and plus Bob Rose, discuss Urban Adventure Quests, costume contests, racist costumes, karaoke, Curse of Chucky, Blackfish, Book of Mormon, Lawless, Don Jon, Room 237, True Justice, finding bikes sexy, poor porn on a church lawn, and why you don't try to invent new fuels.
In which the guys bring a collection of unheard bits from past shows to tickle your ears. There is talk of retractions, placenta eating, making eye contact with man's best friend, prison inmate pen pals, locking your keys in your car, kids knowing you're a fat ass, John's house, The Road and the future of robot sex maids, John's moon bounce castle, and Freeland's sex position apps.