How does Tom Aspinall still have an eyeball right now? Dude, Ciryl Gane went two-knuckles deep in Aspinall’s left eye (while pulling off the rare double-eye poke!) during their heavyweight championship fight at UFC 321 on Saturday. Gane might have Dundasso’d a little TOO hard, as his exploration of Aspinall’s cranium with his left index finger did get their bout declared a no contest, and yet, somehow, it still felt like Gane won the battle of public opinion. The crowd booed Aspinall (naturally). A bunch of shitty MMA meme accounts made fun of him (naturally). Some former fighters came out and said THEY would’ve kept fighting (naturally). Dana White is talking about booking the immediate rematch (because of course). So, sorry, Tom, you got Three-Stooged and now a lot of idiots think you quit. So, yeah, we thought the worst thing that could happen at UFC 321 was a Ciryl Gane victory, and then heavyweight basically laughed in our faces and said, “Hold my beer.” Plus, in the other two heavyweight fights, Jailton Almeida lost by forgetting to fight and Chris Barnett (literally) showed his ass. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Let’s be honest, if the current version of the UFC heavyweight title is going to maintain any shred of credibility, Tom Aspinall pretty much has to win this weekend at UFC 321. Even if that happens, we’ll still only really be ready to say that Gas Hands Tom is one of the three best heavyweights in the world — the UFC champion of active heavyweights currently on the roster, let’s say. But if Ciryl Gane wins? Forget about it. Gane’s already lost to both Jon Jones AND Francis Ngannou. There’s no way you’re making the case he’s the “undisputed” anything. So, let’s go, Tommy! Plus, Mackenzie Dern will vie to win the vacant strawweight title against Virna Jandiroba, who she has already defeated and is currently the betting favorite to defeat again. Almost as though the UFC has a rooting interest in this shit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chucky Olives pretty much wore Mateusz Gamrot around like a button during their main event fight at last weekend’s UFC Fight Night in Rio de Janeiro. It didn’t feel like there was a single second where Gamrot was winning. He got tagged on the feet early in the first, shot for a takedown, and then got dominated on the ground until Oliveira put him out of his misery with a face crank (which, OK, maybe that was miserable) in the second round. Then Oliveira jumped out of the cage and into the crowd on some Jose Aldo shit. Long live the new king of Rio! Man, the UFC security dudes must hate that. Also, Charles — next time, maybe more than just a pat on the shoulder for your wife and kid before you start partying it up with the boyz. Now that that’s settled — Oliveira vs. Max Holloway? Give it to me. It’s mine! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Well, that was just disrespectful. Alex Pereira went out there at UFC 320 on Saturday with absolutely no regard whatsoever for Magomed Ankalaev. Bullied him. Dropped him. Pounded him out. Then did the “look at you now” hand gesture that is rapidly becoming Pereira’s touchdown dance. He clowned Ankalaev from start to finish, is what he did. Clowned him. So, now the Chama Era is back in the light heavyweight division, and the only remaining question is whether there’s anything meaningful left for Pereira to do there. Another fight with Jiri Prochazka (who also got a win at 320)? Carlos Ulberg (who got a win the weekend before)? Or does Pereira start looking up the ladder at heavyweight? Jones? Aspinall? Gane? Anything seems possible. Plus, Cory Sandhagen was game as hell. He was well prepared. He was well coached. He just couldn’t stop Merab Dvalishvili. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The PPV era is (maybe!) winding down, and on Saturday, we’ll all celebrate by (maybe!) shelling out our hard-earned dollars to watch UFC 320, where Magomed Ankalaev will defend his light heavyweight title in a rematch against Alex Pereira. Doesn’t feel like there’s a ton of sizzle headed into that one, but hey, with Carlos Ulberg absolutely devastating “The Devastator” Dominick Reyes last weekend at UFC Fight Night in Perth, perhaps we’ve already got a halfway interesting challenger waiting for the winner? Also, though … “Big Ank?” Nah. We’re not doing that. We’re not saying that, dude. The co-main features Merab Dvalishvili putting his gold on the line against Cory Sandhagen in — let’s face it — a fight we all expect Merab to win. In other news: holy fucking shit, did you see Wanderlei Silva get knocked out cold by a guy in a tuxedo in Brazil this weekend? It was bad, man. BAAAAAAAAD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The money has finally started to roll in for fighters after the UFC agreed to settle that pesky class action lawsuit for $375 million back in February. Some are going to get millions. Some will only get a few thousand. Still, must feel pretty weird to get the bag after being owed it for more than a decade. To some, it might seem like free money, while others are having a more complicated time with it. Plus, it’s Carlos Ulberg vs. Dominick Reyes this weekend in Perth. It actually might turn out to be kind of an important fight, considering the junk heap that is the UFC light heavyweight Top 15. Volkan Oezdemir is still in the Top 10, you guys. Volkan Oezdemir! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
You know how, after they retire, some older guys go out and get, like, part-time jobs at the United Way or Ace Hardware or some shit? Not necessarily because they need the money — they just need to keep themselves busy, and maybe they like talking to people about paint colors and nail sizes and the best brands of epoxy spackle. Is that what Dana White is doing with boxing? Dana was at the big boxing match on Saturday, sitting at ringside next to Turki Alalshikh and Mark Wahlberg. After Terence Crawford whooped up on Canelo Alvarez, Dana wrapped the Ring Magazine belt around Crawford’s waist. Aside from that, we’re not totally sure what his job was there. So, as TKO reportedly plots its takeover of the sweet science, is Dana effectively using boxing like some guys join the country club? Does he want to fade out of the UFC, kick back and spend a few hours a day destroying the Muhammad Ali Act and looking for young, white, Irish fighters to promote? Cuz those are the vibes. Meanwhile, at Dana’s real job, they put on an event the same night, where Diego Lopes knocked all kinds of blood out of Jean Silva’s head during UFC Noche. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Remember last year, when for about six months the UFC tried to pretend like UFC: Noche was a big deal — mostly because Dana White had to prove to the (almost entirely nonexistent) haters that he could pull off a fighting event at Sphere? Those times are gone now. This weekend’s UFC: Noche card (yes, it is this weekend) is pretty much being left in the dust by the UFC’s part in co-promoting the Canelo Alvarez-Terence Crawford boxing match on Netflix. In fact, UFC: Noche has been relegated to regular-ass FIght Night status, with Diego Lopes vs. Jean Silva serving as main event from the Frost Center in San Antonio (grandaddy of them all). Sad, man, sad— though Lopes vs. Silva will probably be a pretty cool fight. Plus, come for Ronda Rousey saying she “ain’t fighting at the fucking White House,” stay for Ben Fowlkes’ five-minute pro wrestling promo about how bad Jon Jones messed up his six-month “retirement.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Honestly, Nassourdine Imavov is pretty legit. He’s 16-4 (1) overall, riding a three-fight win streak and heads into Saturday’s UFC Fight Night main event against Caio Borralho fresh off a February victory over Israel Adesanya. He was the UFC’s No. 1 middleweight contender until voters recently had to make room for Dricus Du Plessis. So, why does nobody seem to know (or care) who he is? Good news for Imavov: if he beats Borralho this weekend, he’ll likely be one of only two men in line for a shot at newly crowned champ Khamzat Chimaev. Would a highlight-reel finish in Paris finally be enough to make fans remember his name? Also on this episode: you guys go hard on Luke Rockhold for getting folded up like a lawn chair by Darren Till, the Bigi Boy wins Dirty Boxing’s pizza box-ass belt and Jon Jones is [checks notes] legally vindicated! For now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
So, Quinton Jackson’s son went on a crazy, uh, rampage at an independent pro wrestling event over the weekend. Raja Jackson — a person we’d barely ever heard of before — got into a backstage beef with a wrestler named Syko Stu and then jumped in the ring during the guy’s match and damn near beat him to death. It was bizarre and, honestly, it made us feel a little sick to watch it. Now, the whole thing has gone viral, due in part to Jackson livestreaming it on his own channel. So, ugh. Also, we take listener questions about Johnny Walker weirding his way to victory over Zhang Mingyang, Aljo beating up the ghost of Brian Ortega and some extended fallout from Khamzat Chimaev being your new UFC middleweight champ. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
He done did it. Khamzat Chimaev basically pitched a perfect game against Dricus du Plessis at UFC 319, making it look EASY en route to one of the more lopsided decision wins you will ever witness in a championship fight. DDP showed up looking uniquely ill-equipped to stop Chimaev’s all-out takedown assault. And Ya Boi Borz? He looked so dominant people got mad at him for not doing more. So, now that the long-heralded Chimaev Era is finally underway at 185 pounds ... shouldn’t we be more excited? Plus, how does Michael Page keep doing this? And where are we at with Aaron Pico now? Also, what do you get when you cross one of light heavyweight’s most dangerous knockout artists with the guy who routinely gets knocked out in the funniest possible way? You get UFC Fight Night: Johnny Walker vs. Zhang Mingyang. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Here’s something nobody saw coming: the UFC is taking its talents to Paramount. Not Netflix. Not re-upping with ESPN. Not even a late play from Amazon or Apple. In a staggering seven-year, $7.7 billion deal, the UFC agrees to keep its programming mostly in one piece (thank you, MMA Gods!). It will stream exclusively on Paramount+, with certain events simulcast on CBS. The biggest kicker here is that, despite some conflicting reports, the traditional pay-per-view model might be going away. So … is it possible … being a UFC fan is about to get cheaper? That would be weird! Lots of ins and outs to discuss here. This deal seems great for the UFC, maybe good for Paramount, possibly good for fans … but, once again, potentially extremely shitty for fighters. Plus, what would a UFC schedule even look like without PPV? And did Paramount perhaps vastly overpay for UFC broadcast rights in order to appease the President of the United States? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The big homies at Tapology this month revealed their own new computerized ranking system for MMA fighters — and, friends, they went big. The new Tapology rankings don’t just break down the Top 10 like your standard media rankings or the Top 15 like the UFC “rankings” do. Nope, they rank EVERY UFC FIGHTER IN EVERY WEIGHT CLASS. Can you imagine the potentially hilarious implications? Anyway, Very Serious Journalist Ben Fowlkes caught up with Tapology’s Gregory Saks to talk about developing the new system (sounds like it was not easy) for an article on the Uncrowned. This week on the CME, we discuss. Plus, it sucks to get cut from the UFC after a win (sorry, Martin Buday), Hector Lombard vs. Cheick Kongo in pillow fighting, and what’s with WWE bringing back Brock Lesnar not too long after he was named in the Vince McMahon sex trafficking lawsuit? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We had a lot to catch up on this week after missing last week’s show: UFC 318 and Dustin Poirier’s retirement fight; what the future holds now for Max Holloway; the recent booking of three UFC title fights — including Big Tommy Gas Hands against The Good Kid, Ciryl Gane; Jon Jones un-retiring to fight at the White House and being immediately told he won’t be fighting at the White House; whether it’s time for Bobby Knuckles to walk away and most importantly: if you attack Yoel Romero with a sword and he LIVES? He’ll see you soon, boy! Plus, an update on Ben’s travels and a spirited defense of the role of journalism in our society from … Brendan Schaub??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dustin Poirier’s last fight is this weekend. You know, allegedly. All relevant disclaimers apply. Still, if anyone deserves to ride off into the sunset with his legacy intact and his chin held high, it’s Cool Dusty P. Call it cliché if you want, but they really don’t make them like him anymore. On this episode: hear our discussion of his upcoming third fight against Max Holloway this weekend at UFC 318. Plus, Derrick Lewis out here: Throwing. Them. Bungalows. And how did we know someone would correctly identify the CME as the MMA show to ask about Conor McGregor’s dick pic? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The doddering old man who also happens to be the most powerful person in the world made an offhand comment over the 4th of July weekend that he’d like to do some UFC fights at the White House. He wants 20,000 people there. He says Dana’s gonna take care of it. And look, we’d be inclined to dismiss this as the rumblings of a crazy old grandpa who might sit next to you on the bus except, well, the scariest part of this whole fever dream is how utterly POSSIBLE it all actually seems. So … I guess we’ll see? Look, though, you know what strikes us most about the potential of having MMA fights at the White House? How fucking LAME that is. Remember when this sport used to feel cool? It used to feel underground? A little renegade? Well, that’s over now. That’s dead and gone. Suddenly, it feels like we’ve gone a little TOO mainstream. You know who loves this idea, though? Jon Jones. Soon as this MFer found out there might be a party he’s not invited to, he jumped back in the testing pool. SMDH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ilia Topuria called his shot — going out there at UFC 317 on Saturday and doing exactly what he said he was going to do to Charles Oliveira, exactly when he said he was going to do it. After a first-round knockout, Topuria claims the vacant lightweight title and becomes the 10th two-division champion in UFC history. He’s 28, undefeated, looks good getting off the bus and possesses an otherworldly calm and confidence in himself. He could be something special … … and the UFC’s apparent willingness to match him up next with Paddy Pimblett feels pretty meaningful, coming from a company that has seemed apathetic about making new stars lately. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
So, Jon Jones is out. Like, OUT out. As in Jon Jones is retired. Or … should we say … “retired,” because ain’t nobody thinks we’ve seen the last of this dude in a cage, a ring, or a dusty circle of dirt at some county fairgrounds. In any case, Jones’ career ended (for now) the way all the great ones go out — with Dana White making a halfhearted announcement at the postfight press conference for UFC: Baku. Oh, and Jones has once again been charged with a crime — this one stemming from a February incident where he (you’re never going to believe this) allegedly left the scene of an early morning car accident. And then maybe threatened to have some police officers killed? So basically, he’s just out here living his best life, monetizing this amazing brand he’s built. Anyway, Tom Aspinall is champ now. So that’s … good? As if that wasn’t enough, UFC 317 is this weekend, and Ilia Topuria is more than a 4-to-1 favorite over Charles Oliveira. What??? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
So, there’s still some fight left in this old dog, Kamaru Usman — as Joaquin Buckley found out the hard way in their UFC Fight Night main event on Saturday. The 38-year-old Usman defied the odds and many expectations with a vintage performance that saw him use the ol’ wrestling game to take a unanimous decision over the seemingly incredibly ill-prepared up-and-comer. Then Usman got on the mic and hilariously called for a title shot. Yeah … no … that’s not going to happen. At least not yet. Usman may have shown he was as good once as he ever was, but can he keep it going long enough to get back in the mix? Plus, was Dom Cruz right? Did Buckley somehow fail to adequately train … for Usman’s … wrestling? Because THAT would be an oversight. And did Rodolfo Bellato pull off the biggest flop job in MMA history? This weekend the UFC is off to — pulls out spelling dictionary — Baku, Azerbaijan, which seems like the most obvious cash grab we’ve seen in some time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Not sure how you’re supposed to beat this guy Merab Dvalishvili at this point. Poison? Blow darts? The Dark Arts? Regular-ass fighting ain’t working, as Sean O’Malley found out at UFC 316 on Saturday. Looked like O’Malley was trying to do the right things — stay off the cage, work the body, show improved takedown defense, get up when Merab put him on the mat. Didn’t matter. Merab is just too good at what he does … and it seems like he’s getting better at it. If he’s gonna start throwing out nasty submissions now? Fuck it, shut it down. And then we gotta show Cory Sandhagen standing in the crowd looking like a middle school kid tryna act tough? Yeah, we're not loving that guy’s chances. Plus, Kayla Harrison vs. Amanda Nunes? Give it to me, it’s mine! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Shawn Cahill
Why the big hoopla about the associations of the venue (Trump, politics, etc)? When an event is hosted at the T-Mobile Arena I don't hear anyone bringing up Massimo Bizzarro, hockey, or other things they do at the venue.
Shawn Cahill
31:20 Someone needs to learn the difference between the executive, and the judicial. 🤦🏻♂️
Shawn Cahill
Wow, the one guy on here (don't know his name) has a bad case of TDS.
Niall Mol
top class for over a decade. say less
Daniel Beckwith
first round glimpse behind the curtains felt super weird