[TRANSCRIPT 2:45:32-2:53:19] "-dirty little secret of The Iron Ring, one of the most affordable and busy places to live on the entire super-structure! Many would turn up their noses about living in the back yard of a prison, but opportunity takes many forms and a smart operator doesn't scoff at the cards they've been dealt. The Lamb is home to some of the most vital industry around, a vibrant night life and plenty of jobs, none of them in manufacturing! You're above that, after all, let those who did the crime do the time! Now, many will say "well go work at the QIT Distro Hut, or the #01 Plus Ultra Clean! facility or the official Poppin' Brandz Fuck You Got Mine Mineral Extraction and Processing Complex! But real hustlers know the best work is to be found at The Lamb itself. You think you're better than working for the prison? Au contraire! All contracts flow through The Lamb: none of the prisoners can be trusted with the internal workings of the structure and, legally, the guards are not allowed to recover escaped prisoners. Be your own boss! Set your own hours! Hustle them buns and hunt down folks who've skipped bail or slipped between the bars! Just watch out for Triggr crews, Obloqchain film crews, and non-compete contracts, and everything should be hunky dory in your new home! And if you can't beat 'em? Join 'em! Next up is Spiderbite Alley, a unique hab structure that's a bit of a funny misnomer: due to zoning laws, there technically are no alleys in-" https://thecoffin.club
The crew of The Long Bones have managed to accomplish most of their goals, but that little bit remains elusive. Mohs and Orion get briefed on the situation and get to work securing the last of their stability and security. Success is not yet assured, which is a shame, because when I want to ensure a job gets done, I hire freelancers from my good friends at Triggr! Using the Triggr app is so easy, it's no wonder how they dominated a fifth of the market with their affordable rates and job placement! You don't even need literacy or a fully working computer: just speak loudly into the microphone of any computer and they'll do the rest for you! And if you'd like a discount on your next job, use my referral code #LONGBONES at Triggr.ring! I'll get a kickback, your problem will be solved, and we can all enjoy the following recipe that my grandmother loved to cook me back when I was a nineteen year old girl working in the Gem Mines and I needed a high protein boost for the workday. Six sticks of butter Three cups vanilla extract Half a pound of ground coffee beans A dash of cinnamon Three cups of sugar About four cups of ground Telgri beetle (powdered Beloth worm will do as a substitute, not optional, this is where the protein comes from, and don't worry about it being purified of contamination, the minerals are fine in trace amounts!) Six scoops of nutmeg Fifty three cranks of pepper A box of baking soda (baking pepsi will do in a pinch) A hearty glug of BANG! Poppin' Brandz Orgy Sauss (tm) Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Whip butter, sugar, Sauss (tm) and vanilla extract until smooth and creamy, then carefully fold in dry ingredients. Using your hands carefully divide dough into little logs and spread them out on a baking sheet before baking for 25-30 minutes depending on oven. Let them cool thoroughly before enjoying your new favorite energy suppository treat (nobody likes a scalded anus!). For more scrumptious recipes visit https://thecoffin.club
The crew owes 500 holos for bureaucratic fees, needs to find out a way to repair the Long Bones and needs to refuel it. In four hours Aurum 80 will become a hotbed of gang violence, making accomplishing these goals that much harder. It's up to Patience and Cassandra to make the first steps towards solvency and safety of the crew. I am being handed a note from the future. https://thecoffin.club
Tonight on The Coffin Club: session zero, character creation and world-building for Death In Space. Grint forgets everything and leaves the past behind. Bea follows a light from the future. Sophie finds hope in dreams. Lavender should probably dig more than two graves before setting off on revenge. Everyone learns a very important lesson about putting your name on a lease for a shitty house. https://thecoffin.club
Order has collapsed. The greater Terran Expeditionary Force is at the door to enforce it. Ten will stand against them to hold the line and put all of themselves into one last act of desperation. Most of them will not survive. Tell me, truly: do you believe in miracles? https://thecoffin.club
At Year's End we gather our friends and loved ones and celebrate the passage of time, our accomplishments, our good deeds, the experiences we've had. Regrets are observed, losses are mourned, emotions are shared, but above all else Year's End is a joyous time, a time to prepare for one more year around Terra. For four members of Yegg Battalion, there will be no joy, no mirth, no celebration. There may not even be a new year. There will only be a decision, one whose outcomes are lined with teeth, compromise, misery and suffering. This moment is the culmination of all of their desires, their strengths, the weaknesses, their hopes. There is no clean solution. There is only what comes tomorrow in the sobering light of the new year's day. https://thecoffin.club
[RECONNECTION GRANTED. INPUT TROOPER ID] dsafbjndfpodnjfkdsajv wdsdwd3 [INVALID ENTRY. INPUT TROOPER ID] d8888888888s8d8888888 [INVALID ENTRY. ERRATIC LIFE SIGNS DETECTED. CHANGING TO VOCAL RESPONSE SYSTEM] "Hello Trooper! Please state your name and identification number! I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Can you try again? You seem to be under distress. I can help! Try nodding your head if you understand, like this! Very good! Do you need medical assistance? Nod if you understand, like this, yes yes yes, or shake your head if no, like this, no no no. Understood. A medical officer will not be dispatched to your location at this time. Can you try saying your name? Or a common nickname the other Troopers may have given you? Very good, Trooper HEATHER. You're doing such a good job! Would you like assistance in operating your armor? Very good! Try lifting your left hand, like this! This is your left hand!" https://thecoffin.club
Yegg Battalion needs time to rebuild its ranks after the conquest of Elysia and for its survivors to get their heads right. Thank goodness for spiritual guidance. Sparky has a long overdue conversation. Deck finds that old-time religion. Sixty-Nine plants the seed and will surely enjoy reaping the harvest. Pleather expresses her urges in a totally healthy way. Everyone gets to sit and think about what they've done. https://thecoffin.club
The Mathematician's Lament Years before Molly, Lex, Diego and Karl found a new home and new purpose in Everwhere, Doctor Julius Langstrom was a simple academic dedicated to understanding the fundamental forces of the universe. When his nephew Rene and Rene's friend Lucrezia come to visit, Langstrom shows them his latest theory: that there may exist other worlds than these, ripe for the taking. But what starts as a hesitant experimental jaunt becomes something much more dangerous when the trio come into contact with a mysterious being known as The Grand Architect, a mind without a body capable of bending the world to one's dreams...or nightmares. This is the birth of The Everwhere, but in a world without Wills and Ways, and no easy way to return home or take charge of this strange new frontier. Book Four in The Everwhere Cycle Reviews of The Mathematician's Lament: "E. Stapleton does it again." -M. Washington, The Virtue Times "Hauntingly dreamlike, ideologically pure." -G. Kasita, District 3 Culture Beat "A perfect worldview for children and parents who are still kids at heart." -T. Sugimoto, Simple Steward Living https://thecoffin.club
Ever go on a cruise and wish you could live there? Yegg Battallion gets to live the experience, for better or worse. Sixty-Nine goes off the deep end into religion. Deck embraces tradition. Pleather shoots down possible suitors. Sparky takes another crack at team-building exercises. Everyone gets to play dress up. https://thecoffin.club
Excerpt of Interview With Marisol Chapman 19/32/06Q: So you shut down Galatea."We did."Q: Controversial decision, a lot of your support base didn't approve."[laughs] I don't care now and I didn't care then. It was time. Galatea served its purpose. It was an open air lab, our testing grounds; when it became a theme park, that's when I saw the writing was on the wall."Q: Better to cash out while you're ahead?"Absolutely. If not, the House takes everything. I mean what do you want me to say, we didn't make miracles? We did. We're going to change the world, and that starts with everyone living forever. That's not the end of it. Isn't that wild? That's not the end."Q: So what's next?"I don't know. That's the funny thing about having enough time and everything you need to learn more and do more. I don't have to think about what's next. There will be something; new wonders, strange revelations. And we'll live to see them if we want to. I think that's more than enough." https://thecoffin.club
With another victory obtained, the legend of Yegg Battalion cements itself in earnest. Sixty-Nine gathers the faithful. Deck sells out but in a cool way. Sparky appeals to a higher power. Pleather asserts her own authority and punishments. Everyone's problems are solved forever! https://thecoffin.club
[RECORDING STARTS] what's GOOD you fucking SCRUB welcome to BITCH CITY population YOU! YEAH! Fucking get some you weak-ass chinless FUCK. How the fuck did they let you in if your scrub ass can't land a fucking headshot, did you join the TEF so you can just fondle a gun and pretend it's your big fucking boner? Fucking idiot. Dominated your ass like we're back on fucking Spielberg, how the fuck do you keep losing so fucking much. Lucky fucking you, they're transferring me over to Y so I gotta stop whipping your ass for the glory of Terra and go do some REAL fucking work. They're gonna promote me and make a fucking statue of me dry-humping you while you struggle to jungle. Idiot. It's been real fun but let me give you some advice: fuck yourself and die, Paintball. Caveman OUT! [audio of Trooper playing guitar, song unknown] [RECORDING ENDS] https://thecoffin.club
The chosen saviors of Okamura receive their just rewards. Pleather denies centrism. Deck abuses her authority. Sixty-Nine entertains a proposal. Sparky's just going through it, man. Everyone gets to see the rigorous and thorough process of mission planning. https://thecoffin.club
Why was the sky promised to me? Why is it so far away? I sang as a child. I don't now. The flight of words upon the air, wet emotion pouring from my breath, I always pretend it meant something. Childhood forever. Young forever. A scream preserved in clearest amber. Hands around my throat and I'm not a child. I pray to dream that I am an animal. My deepest wish is to be a bird. But I was a beast of earth and dust, A horse lead astray by wandering eyes, On the edge of yet another drop. And the Captain begged that I fly. https://thecoffin.club
What's a great way to center yourselves after massive troop losses and horrors beneath the ice of an alien planet? Team-building! Wild Filibuster, Perfect Smoke, My Favorite Hope and Handsome Tropic have a lovely day of frolic, athletics, leisure and mandatory attendance with Yegg Batallion's First Inaugural Horse Race & Athletics Competition. Horses do their best now and are preparing. Everybody, please listen warmly until it is ready. https://thecoffin.club
In the face of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, Yegg Battalion is rewarded with medals, promotions and responsibilities. Pleather experiences being Ratatouille'd. Sixty-Nine gets a glow-up. Sparky fights a toxic custody battle. Deck seeks tech support. Everyone lift, we can move this couch on three. https://thecoffin.club
IN A SUNDERED LAND Rated 10 for dark themes, violence, sexual content and anti-Terra sentiment. 163 minutes "In A Sundered Land" is the latest biographical drama directed by Jonathan Sweetman starring Liam DiFrancesco, Margaret Landeskog, Brianna Nordberg, Nasir al-Bukhari and Bigg Chanse. Set in District 8 in the first year of Unification, a governmental functionary (DiFrancesco) discovers a smuggling ring meant to empower a rising demagogue (Chanse) and his mission of secession. Complicating things are a firebrand journalist (Nordberg), a trauma doctor struggling to stretch supplies (Landeskog) and the uncomfortable history the functionary's husband (al-Bukhari) has with the land. Received the 17th annual Acclaim Award for Best Actor (DiFrancesco), Best Supporting Actress (Landeskog), Best Costumes and Best Song ("Mother's Land, Where My Spirit Lies", performed by al-Bukhari, arranged and orchestrated by Noel Valencia's Instrumental Orchestra). https://thecoffin.club
In the wake of the last mission, Yegg Squadron deals with what they've experienced the best way they know how: by ignoring it. Sparky gives orders. Sixty-Nine learns how her faith is actually practiced. Pleather vows to never be caught wrong-footed again. Deck learns the true meaning of want. Everyone shares their burger opinions https://thecoffin.club