The Collaborative Divorce

Mental health professional Harry Grabarz, Ph.D. discusses how different divorce methods determine the impact of divorce on the children.   Dr. Grabarz explains, "The need to 'protect your children' will depend on the divorce process you choose - an adversarial litigated divorce, mediation, or the collaborative method. When children are caught in the middle, they can develop issues with identification, parent-child bonding, and school performance."   Dr. Grabarz has over 30 years experience working with children and families, plus extensive training in forensic consultations with family attorneys.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

On this edition of The Collaborative Divorce, attorney Harriette M. Steinberg, PC, discusses the "new divorce reality" – divorced families are running out of money. As a consequence, lifestyles are being downgraded and future choices are being limited. She notes, "Divorces are occurring in the present economic climate –  a factor to which we have not given proper attention." . Listen and learn why the traditional litigated divorce method is NOT able to prevent or help solve this problem – and why Collaborative Divorce may be the answer.   For over a decade, Harriette M. Steinberg has studied alternate forms of dispute resolution and opened her law practice to collaborative divorce and family law matters. To support her work in this emerging field, she has joined the Board of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals and is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.     Ms. Steinberg is also a founding member of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions (CDR) on Long Island, NY.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Psychologist Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D., ABPP, explores what interferes with family divorce recovery and how seemingly practical disputes between divorced parents can have a deeper context under the surface: emotions, power and/or self-image.    Dr. Grossman explains, "Divorced parents are coping with 3 main emotions: love, anger and sadness. Rather than being about 'winning',  their ongoing struggles often are about getting an emotional reaction from each other. These parents may not be looking for a resolution after all."    Neil Grossman is a clinical and forensic psychologist board-specialized in couple and family psychology. His sub-specialty focus is on families undergoing a divorce.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

On this edition of The Collaborative Divorce, attorney Neil Cahn, PLLC, explores the rise of "Divorce Parties".   What? Is divorce now an occasion to celebrate? The answer may be YES if you chose the Collaborative Divorce method, which gives both parties something to smile [instead of yell] about. Listen in for Mr. Cahn's insights.   A Yale College and Hofstra University Law School graduate who has practiced law on Long Island for 36 years, Mr. Cahn is certified in the Collaborative Divorce process by the International Association of Collaborative Professionals. His practice is concentrated in divorce and other family law matters. He is also a charter member of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions, a NY interdisciplinary professional group that promotes settlement of conflicts using the Collaborative process.    The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

On this edition of The Collaborative Divorce, psychologist Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D., ABPP, explores recent news of a widower Dad who killed his kids and himself after the court gave child custody to his late wife's parents.   Dr. Grossman says, "The 3 main emotions associated with divorce are love, anger and sadness. Tragically, this Dad's emotions took over and left little room for reason – or just enough for distorted reason. There are also cultural and religious beliefs that may have caused this."   Neil Grossman is a clinical and forensic psychologist board-specialized in couple and family psychology. His sub-specialty focus is on families undergoing a divorce.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

According to attorney Teresa Ombres, "In a collaborative divorce, each lawyer shows respect to – and gains the trust of – the other spouse. You can almost see everyone’s shoulders relax. The air in the room changes. Instead of attacking and being defensive, they listen and try to understand each other.”   Hear about cases where a father wanted more visitations than he could handle; a dad who refused to return the kids to their mom on time; and an ongoing dispute over furniture.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D., ABPP returns to continue exploring how to maintain your marital health. Four reasons why marriages fail: Criticism: Attacks on spouse's worthContempt: Trying to insult or degrade a spouseDefensiveness: Inability to listen to a complaint/criticismWithdrawal: Stonewalling   Dr. Grossman explains the differences between conflicts and fights; how to negotiate differences; marriage success ingredients of love and respect.   Neil Grossman is a clinical and forensic psychologist board-specialized in couple and family psychology. His sub-specialty focus is on families undergoing a divorce.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes. The collaborative method is open and non-adversarial, without litigation or a judge, with the goal of a mutually agreeable outcome. Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Today attorney Latonia Early-Hubelbank, Esq., talks about a developing trend over the past year in the courts. If a business was acquired during a marriage, the non-business spouse may expect part of the business value to be part of their divorce settlement. Now this is changing and their contributions to that business might no longer be recognized. Listen to learn more.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D., ABPP returns to continue the topic of how to maintain marital health. The 4 reasons why marriages fail: Criticism [attacks on spouse's worth], Contempt [trying to insult or degrade a spouse], Defensiveness [inability to listen to a complaint/criticism], and Withdrawal [stonewalling]. Learn the differences between conflicts and fights; how to negotiate differences; marriage success ingredients of love and respect.   Dr. Grossman is a clinical and forensic psychologist who is board-specialized in couple and family psychology. His sub-specialty focus is on families undergoing a divorce.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

According to matrimonial and family law attorney James P. Joseph, "The costs of divorce are not just financial, which can be significant. There are also psychological costs to you and your spouse, and, most importantly, to your children."   Hear anecdotes about how a dispute over an ice cream cone almost cost $1000 in attorney fees. And how the price soared when a wife argued for the right to move out of state with her children – but had no intention of doing so!   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D., ABPP talks about how couples can maintain marital health.  Do you know the 4 reasons why marriages fail? Criticism [attacks on a spouse's worth], Contempt [purposely trying to insult or degrade a spouse], Defensiveness [inability to listen to a complaint or criticism], and Withdrawal [stonewalling]. He will discuss the differences between conflicts and fights; how to negotiate your differences; the required marriage success ingredients of love and respect; and techniques to improve your marriage.   Dr. Grossman is a clinical and forensic psychologist who is board-specialized in couple and family psychology. His sub-specialty focus is on families undergoing a divorce.   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Today's guest speaker: Neil Cahn, Esq. A graduate of Yale College and a Law Review graduate of the Hofstra University School of Law, Mr. Cahn is a revision author of New York Civil Practice, Matrimonial Actions. He has written and lectured for various bar associations and professional organizations, and other lay groups. He is a member of the Family Law Committees of the American, State, and County Bar Associations; the Dispute Resolution subcommittee of the State Bar Association, and the Commercial Litigation Committee of the Nassau County Bar Association.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Neil S. Grossman, Ph.D. discusses recovery from divorce-induced crazy feelings. "It has been said that divorce makes sane people act crazy. This is because the dynamics or pressures of a divorce push normal emotions to the extreme. A divorce is expected to create feelings of separation and loss in people."   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Speakers are members of Collaborative Dispute Resolutions on Long Island, NY. www.CDRLI.com. '   Dr. Grossman is a family specialist board-certified in Family Psychology, ABPP and trained in divorce mediation and collaborative law. He is a founding member and former co-chair of the Parenting Coordinator Association of New York.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Are you a parent who is thinking about – or already getting – a divorce? If so, you may have heard the term “law guardian” and wondered what it means. A law guardian is a court-appointed attorney whose role is to be an advocate for, and represent the voice of the children in any custodial or visitation dispute between parents.     According to Latonia Early-Hubelbank, Esq., "The law guardian is human and, often times, will develop a liking or disliking for one of the parties. This, in turn, influences the position they present to the court and how they present it."     The Collaborative Divorce Show features the legal, financial and mental health professional members of Collaborative Dispute Resolions. They are trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome. Visit www.CDRLI.com.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

According to  attorney Harriette M. Steinberg, "You can literally design your own divorce today, just like the world’s best-known celebrities do. Yes! Beyond selecting high-profile attorneys, the stars can time the day and place of their announcement, decide which favored tabloids win the scoop, and more – all orchestrated for the most lucrative impact on their star power."   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Music by J.C. Revue.

Harriette M. Steinberg, Esq. says, "Baby Boomers are ending their marriages later in life than other age groups, according to The Association of Divorce Financial Planning (ADFP). For proof, we need only look to D.C., Hollywood and New York for a bevy of boomers whose marriages hit the rocks decades after their hopeful 'I do’s'. These include Former US Vice President Al Gore and wife Tipper, and former New York City mayor and first lady Rudy Giuliani and Donna Hanover."     The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   In addition to her private law practice, Harriette M. Steinberg is an active member of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

According to Neil Grossman, Ph.D., "Most parents are concerned about how a divorce will affect their children. Current research indicates that the end of a marital relationship creates stress in families – from the parents' own stress and reduced parenting capacity to impending family relocation and potential economic instability. The good news is that most of these only impact the children temporarily."   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.    In addition to his private practice as a family therapist, Dr. Grossman is trained in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. He helped bring the first parenting coordination program to NY State, and is a founding member and former co-chair of the Parenting Coordinator Association of New York. He has presented workshops locally and nationally, and written articles for the professional literature.   Music by J.C. Revue. www.jcrevue.com

Roxane Polak, Ph.D. answers questions about what really happens in the Collaborative Divorce setting. "How is this approach different from going to couple’s therapy?". "How can I ensure my spouse doesn't verbally insult or abuse me in the Collaborative Divorce meetings?". "Why do we need a Neutral Family Specialist?" "Why can't my attorney help me with divorce communications?"   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Dr. Roxane Polak holds a Ph.D. from Hofstra University in Clinical and School Psychology and an M.Ed. from Columbia University in Counseling Psychology. A licensed full-time practitioner since 1983, she has particular expertise in the areas of interpersonal relationships, marital and divorce counseling, parenting, and communication skills, and is trained as a Family Coach Specialist, Child Specialist, and Parent Coordinator and Mediator.   Music by J.C. Revue.

According to Nancy Kaye, CDFA, CFP, "The tax return presents a useful view of a year in time of the family’s finances. In the Collaborative Divorce process, the attorney for one of the divorcing parties and/or a Neutral Financial Specialist often request three years of tax returns to take a financial look at the family."   The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in an open, non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   A Certified Financial Planner™ Practioner and Investment Advisor Representative, Nancy Kaye holds an MBA degree from New York University. Her CDFA license was issued from The Institute For Divorce Financial Analysts. She is a member of the Institute of Certified Divorce Financial Analysts and the NYAssociation of Collaborative Professionals.   Music by J.C. Revue – www.JCRevue.com.

Imagine this, ladies. You were happily married for 20 years to your childhood sweetheart. You ran a successful business together, built a home, raised two children. When you discovered he has another wife, and other children out of state, you filed for divorce to protect your children.   Latonia Early-Hubelbank, Esq, asks, "But did you ever think that the husband who spends 70% of his time traveling for work, and 100% of his time lying to you, would have the nerve to ask the court for sole legal custody of your kids?" Think again.     The Collaborative Divorce Show features legal, financial and mental health professionals trained to help couples and families resolve disputes in a non-adversarial manner, without litigation or a judge, for a mutually agreeable outcome.   Ms. Early-Hubelbank holds degrees from Princeton University and Hofstra Law School. She has served on the boards of the Nassau County Women’s Bar Association, Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Nassau County Girl Scouts and Five Towns College.   Music by J.C. Revue.