The Confidence Column

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. My question is super simple and yet, feels like the hardest thing in the world to me: How do I be confident?? I just wanna be confident - that’s it. It looks so easy for all the women I see and I sit here just so confused. How do they do it? I’m just so frustrated trying to be more confident and still not feelin it… SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>theconfidencecolumn.com/theconfidencecolumn

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. This week's question comes from a friend of mine (shared with her permission.) With self-care being such a buzz word lately, there is some confusion on how to do it. Her questions, very simply are: "Self-care? What is that even? What am I supposed to do??" You may think you've gotten advice about self-care before but this is a whole new spin. Listen in on how you can find self-care that fits you perfectly. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>theconfidencecolumn.com/theconfidencecolumn

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hey Amber, Yes, I definitely worry about what other people think of me. A lot of the time, I don’t want to say things because I dont’ want them to think I’m dumb or something. I’ve been trying to do more self confidence work (which is how I found your page) and when I saw your question, I realized I do this a lot! I worry a lot about what other people think about me. I know this is a thing, and I can see other women in my life having issues with it too. Are we all dealing with this? Is there a way to truly stop it forever? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. I actually am a pretty awesome go-getter. When I set my mind to something, I can usually make it happen and won’t stop until I get close to making it happen but, I’ve been noticing over the last year or two that whenever I’m making progress towards something, I get locked into comparing myself to other people’s success and it steals my confidence is a big way. I could be totally on the up and up with my  own stuff and then I just STOP because I’m on social media, watching all these other amazing women doing amazing things and I just feel like I’ll never get there. A confidence killer. A hustle killer.  But I gotta be online so...what’s the best way to stop comparing? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hey Amber, I am a personal trainer and private yoga teacher. I always get super nervous when it comes to raising my prices and sticking to them.  I get scared they are too high and people won’t pay the price so I always end up lowering them. I feel like...maybe I’m not good enough to have these high prices even though... I’m trained, I’m professional, and I want to make more money. What can I do to help me not back down? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

TW: The cycle of Lovebombing On this episode, I talk about something that is a form of emotional abuse dressed up as undying love. It’s something that was brought to my attention as a form of abuse that...I have suffered from...and I recently found out many others have suffered from. It’s called Lovebombing. In my own conversations about #lovebombing, women I spoked with overwhelmingly expressed the traumatic experiences they’ve overcome through this cycle of narcissistic manipulation of lovebombing > devaluing > discarding, and the various bits and details of how they experienced it and learned to RUN whenever they see signs of it again. I wanted to share this because 1. Research shows it affects women in large percentages 2. It's hard to know it's happening when it's happening 3. The deprogramming and healing process can be just as traumatic as the event itself so... If we can make you privy to it prior to the act, I hope this advice helps y'all dodge a BOMB SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

With her permission, I'd like to share a piece of advice I gave a work colleague this week while she's in the midst of creating her latest online course:  I feel amazing in the movement of creation, not following someone else’s rules, going for it, believing amazing things will happen from this creation. Then I get to my challenge, and, I keep repeatedly coming back to this, every cycle, every year I’ve been trying to create something new. My challenge is with not feeling like the outcome I want is possible. I’m just not feeling the outcome. I quickly get back into a rut. I get back in my head and body and I’m like “nah, I ain’t feeling this.” Then I get frustrated cuz I’m not “feeling” this. I want to physically feel the outcome. I want to get into the excitement of that outcome and do the work in that feeling. So that when I do the work I feel good about it cuz it gets me closer to this outcome. I know that things don’t have to be perfect to manifest. You don’t have to be perfectly healed with no limiting beliefs with perfect alignment to make good things. You just work through the messy stuff. And still, I get dragged in this rut when I can’t feel the outcome or get a good feeling about the outcome. Do I have more healing to do? Do I have more blocks to get rid of? Do I have confidence I need to work on? I’m sick of feeling like something is in the way I have to work on before I can get the feeling...and keep working SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hi Amber, My parents are really judgy. Especially my dad. I haven’t followed the traditional life path they kept trying to keep me on, and any decision I make, even as a grown woman, revolves around what my dad is going to say to me about it. I spend a lot of time stressing out about decisions, or just not even doing things, because I know my dad will make me feel bad no matter what I choose.  My confidence to do anything is tied up...and really non-existent...because I’m worried about them judging me. Is it too late to fix this? I feel like I’ll never not think about them and what they’ll say.... SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. This week, I decided to answer a topic of standing up for yourself after I received feedback from an IG reel I posted. Enjoy this weeks advice regarding the three reasons you have a hard time standing up for yourself in conversations and how you can begin moving through what keeps you stuck. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An advice advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hey Amber, Other people are always telling me what to do. I married young so between my mom, MIL, and husband, I feel like everyone has an opinion of what I should do or not do. I struggle with telling them how I feel and wish they would listen to me more but, I don’t want to make them upset with me or like I don’t value their opinion. At the same time I’m sick of being pushed and pulled around. Is there a way I can get them to stop talking to me like a child without them getting upset with me? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

A audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. How can I be more confident around my partner when he’s 100lbs thinner than me? When I see couples being all PDAish and being such different sizes and ethnicity, it makes me feel weird because I don’t have that in my relationship so I lose my confidence. Also, how do you have intimacy when you’re a larger person with a smaller person? We don’t have that at all and it also kills my confidence. SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE >>> Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE >>>

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hey Amber: How do I talk to my loved ones when they WILL NOT STOP focusing on body size, weight, and diets? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links TRANSCRIPT Full text is too large for this description. You can view the full transcript here: https://www.theconfidencecolumn.com/theconfidencecolumn/the-confidence-column/communication-my-family-is-obsessed-with-weights-and-diets-how-do-i-tell-them-i-am-not When those types of comments are no longer serving you, it's time to express that. However, you have to understand that this has been a core focus for a lot of people for much of their lives so it may take some reprogramming for them to truly understand what you are telling them / asking of them.    These are the four main things that can help support you in communicating to your family your boundaries around body, weight, and diets: 1. Make your desire to not have conversations focused around body, weight, and diets known. The more you an express yourself from the heart vs in defense, the more people will be able to hear you. Maybe share a few reasons why you don't want to talk about the topic(s) and ask if conversations can move to something else. This is creating a boundary and sometimes people don't understand the seriousness until you spell it out for them (and some people really need it spelled out.) 2. Acknowledge > Mix-up > Move on Acknowledge why you think they may enjoy talking about body, weight, and diets (because some people really get a kick from it!) and then say that you don't share that same passion, so can we mix up the conversation? Share with them things you enjoy talking about - hiking, traveling, doggos. Sometimes it can also help to explain to them why you like talking about hiking, traveling, and dogs vs body, weight, and diets, to help them see it more clearly from your perspective. This can help alleviate the pushback of "well, why don't you like those things" or "you probably don't like talk about this because xyz." It's a proactive measure that will help keep you in your power - you are expressing yourself not defending yourself. 3. Excuse yourself from spaces where people are talking about body, weight, and diets. It doesn't need to be a grandstand and you don't need to leave the room huffing or puffing with attitude. Just move to another space. If someone asks you why you keep leaving the room, just remind them: I don't enjoy conversations about body, weight, and diets. I have expressed that to you and I want to be in a space where that's not the main focus. 4. Convert the conversation Sometimes, people can't help but talk about the shiny thing in front of them, so give them a different shiny thing to talk about. In this case, I wouldn't recommend something in the same topic line...like body positivity or recipes you enjoy.  Legit talk about something else, something you care about, and allow them to follow you. Some people are stubborn. Some people will also be stuck on bodies and food. At the end of the day, you have to choose for you how you want to engage these situations and establish your boundaries.

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday. Hi Amber,  The holidays are a really stressful time for me. Every year I feel like I'm not doing enough or giving enough and it makes me feel like a horrible person. My self-confidence definitely takes a dive because I feel like other moms are doing it better than I am and I'll never be able to measure up. I want to feel good during the holidays!! Why is it so stressful and how to I get to a point where I enjoy these days instead of dread them? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links TRANSCRIPT First I just want to say: You're not alone in any of these feelings. The holidays are often full of two things that drag women around:    1. Obligation 2. Comparison   You are experiencing the ultimate comparison and it's draggin' you around! I see that and I understand how that can compile the stress on you.    Especially being a mom, I'm sure this time of year really is about how you can make it a great and memorable experience for your children and your family and we tend to look for those answers outside of ourselves, trying to copy movies or traditions.    When it comes to holidays, I recommend putting some distance between you and the consumerism, the expectations, and ask yourself:    What would make me feel good this holiday? What is my energy bandwidth this year? (especially this year!) How is my family and what can they handle this year?  Not every year will be the same. Some years you'll have more to give and others you'll have less - and this is true for your energy, your attention, your money, all of it.   It really doesn't need to be about anything other than you and your family.  I know the expectations of others can feel like a lot but can you look at the energy you have and the effort you put in and say "I did my best this year" and take pride in that?   It may be a new feeling during the holidays, checking in with yourself and your family and honoring what you need this year, but ultimately, it will help relieve this stress and help break away from the comparison game cuz your eyes are on your own life and your own family.   And you and your family are truly what matters, right?    Happy holidays, love ~ xo Amber

An audio advice column where Amber Rose answers your confidence boosting (or confidence crushing) questions each Wednesday.  Hey Amber, how do I know if something is good enough to be done or to be sent out? I feel like I have perfectionism with a lot of my projects because I always think they can be better. What's the point I know they are good enough for me to stop working on them? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE Follow The Confidence Column and Amber Rose instagram.com/vibrantamberrose facebook.com/theconfidencecolumn theconfidencecolumn.com/links TRANSCRIPT Hey Amber, how do I know if something is good enough to be done or to be sent out? I feel like I have perfectionism with a lot of my projects because I always think they can be better. What's the point I know they are good enough for me to stop working on them? Thank you, Sarah Hi Sarah! Great question! Ya know, I think nearly everything has an opportunity to be "better" but you wanna make sure you're not making "better" synonymous with "perfect" because, well, perfect doesn't exist. Therefore, you can't measure something up to it.    Because you're reading this I know you're someone who wants to better herself. You work hard, you hold yourself to good standards. There will always be something you can see to make better but not everything needs to be your Pulitzer Prize.    If you're putting in an honest effort to make something good, it will be. How much time and attention you need per project will depend on the project. Give yourself enough time and attention but not excessive or obsessive time and attention.    Here is a personal example: My perfectionism kicks in around emails. I used to write, edit, rewrite, sleep on it, read again, edit, re-write, re-write, re-write, sometimes holding onto an email for over a week to make sure my message was perfectly conveyed.    Emails don't usually need to be this serious so I started giving myself time limits and edit limits. For every email I write,  I'm allowed to edit/re-write a total of 5 times before I ask myself to hit send. I also make sure my draft box is empty at end of day and I usually give myself the time of 24 hours to send emails. That way, I don't hoard them, forget them, or obsess over them.    You are smart. You're capable. Your work is good! If you find yourself obsessing over something and you can't think of a reasonable amount of timescape to give yourself, ask a friend or a colleague for feedback to help you personalize the releasing of your perfectionist tendencies around that project.    Sometimes it really can help to see it through the eyes of people you trust.  Good luck with your release!