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The Couples Therapist Couch

Author: Shane Birkel

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This podcast is about the practice of Couples Therapy. Many of the episodes are interviews with leaders in the field of Relationships. The show is meant to help Therapists and Coaches learn how to help people to deepen their connection, but in the process it explores what is most needed for each of us to love, heal, and grow. Each week Shane Birkel interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.
226 Episodes
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Sign up for TheraBundle: https://therabundle.com/shane Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Lisa Ferentz about childhood trauma & relationships. Lisa is the Founder of The Ferentz Institute and a recognized expert in the strengths-based, de-pathologized treatment of trauma. She’s been in private practice for over 40 years. Hear the huge role caretakers can play in trauma, the impact of shaming, why maintaining curiosity is so important as a therapist, how to pinpoint neglect, and why couples therapy work also means individual work. To learn more about Lisa and her trainings, visit: TheFerentzInstitute.com TheFerentzInstitute.com/Trainings   You can also listen to Lisa on Episode 74 of The Couples Therapist Couch
Sign up for TheraBundle: https://therabundle.com/shane Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane discusses the purpose of boundaries in relationships and how to set them up. Hear why healthy boundaries create change, what to avoid when setting boundaries, when to take a walk or go in the other room, the things that make boundaries work or not work, and how boundaries can help maintain safety in a relationship. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane talks through how to understand and work with people who are emotionally avoidant. Hear how emotionally avoidant people differ from pursuers, how to avoid “right vs. wrong” conversations, how partners can help communicate what an emotionally avoidant person is feeling, whether an emotionally avoidant person can change, and the mindfulness exercise you can do every day to help. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with David Kessler about grief and loss. David is one of the most well-known experts and lecturers on death and grieving today, reaching hundreds of thousands of people through his books. Hear the traumatic experiences as a child that shaped his life, how the grieving process works, how much grieving is a healthy amount, how a partner can help in grief, and how grief differs from how it’s portrayed on TV. To learn more about David and his books - including his latest, Finding Meaning - visit: Grief.com GriefEducator.com David’s Facebook David’s Instagram David’s TikTok  
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane breaks down emotional vs. problem-solving communication. Hear why this misunderstanding happens a lot with couples, how to discuss difficult emotions, how to get partners on the same page, how long it takes to recover from an affair, and the times when it’s important to problem-solve. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Kathryn Rheem about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Ketamine-Assisted Couples Therapy. Kathryn is the Director of The Washington Baltimore Center for EFT and the Co-Founder of The EFT Cafe. Hear how Ketamine-Assisted Couples Therapy works, how it can help couples, how long the sessions are, what the conversations look like while on Ketamine, and best practices for a smooth session. To learn more about Kathryn, visit: WashingtonBaltimoreCenterForEFT.com RheemClark.com TheEFTCafe.com You can also listen to Kathryn on Episode 209 of The Couples Therapist Couch
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Hilary Waller about pregnancy, parenthood, and relationships. Hilary is a psychotherapist who supports new parents as they navigate pregnancy and parenthood. Hear the best way to support couples who are new parents, what to recommend for people who just found out they’re pregnant, why community plays such a big role, how often parents should check in with each other, and the most challenging cases she’s worked on.  To learn more about Hilary and her books - Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts and The Perinatal Patient - visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/hilary-waller-fort-washington-pa/1251531 https://www.amazon.com/Dropping-Baby-Other-Scary-Thoughts/dp/0367223902 https://www.amazon.com/Perinatal-Patient-Compassionate-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1683736567  
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Tammy Sollenberger about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and couples. Tammy is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and an Internal Family Systems Certified Supervisor. Hear the different parts we’re made up of, how IFS works in our heads, how our parts trigger each other, how to recognize your feelings and characteristics, and how to stay grounded in the true foundation of a relationship. To learn more about Tammy, The One Inside podcast, and The One Inside book, visit TammySollenberger.com
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Hayley Hoffman about Imago and polyvagal therapy. Hayley is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and a psychodynamic mental health counselor supporting clients in making meaning out of daily events while living life on life’s terms. Hear how to figure out why things bother you, how to stay present, how Imago therapy works, how to improve your relationships, and how polyvagal therapy overlaps with Imago therapy. To learn more about Hayley and her workshops, visit ImagoCenterDC.com and HayleyHoffman.com  
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane shares why you should stop trying to be right all the time in your relationship. Hear why this creates a stuck situation for both the couple and the therapist, the reason people get defensive, how to have good boundaries, when it’s healthy to feel guilty, and the problem with perfectionism. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with John Gray about Beyond Mars and Venus and what he’s been up to since his last time on The Couples Therapist Couch. John is one of the most well-known relationship experts of the past 40 years and also wrote the iconic bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Hear how to keep your libido at any age, why partners lose interest in sex, how to keep that spark as a married couple, why grief is actually addictive, and what he learned from his wife’s passing. To learn more about John and his coaching, visit MarsVenusCoaching.com Check out John’s book, “Beyond Mars and Venus” You can also listen to John on Episode 43 of The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/043-beyond-mars-and-venus-with-john-gray
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Anita Robertson about ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) and couples. Anita is an ADHD & Relationship Therapist and the Author of “ADHD & Us: A Couple’s Guide to Loving and Living with Adult ADHD.” Hear how ADHD impacts couples signs of ADHD, how to approach therapy with clients who have ADHD, some games she brings into sessions, and the importance of getting support. To learn more about Anita, visit AnitaRobertson.com Check out Anita’s book, “ADHD & Us: A Couple’s Guide to Loving and Living with Adult ADHD”
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane breaks down how to work with high intensity after an affair. This topic stems from a question that came up in the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Hear how to help clients recover after an affair, the emotions both partners are going through, how long it typically takes people to recover from an affair, how to get someone to stop having affairs, and how to help a client avoid getting into a shame spiral. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. James Hawkins about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment. James is a Licensed Counsellor, and an ICEEFT-certified trainer, supervisor, and therapist. Hear how success and vulnerability are tied together, how to bring the most important things to the forefront, how love and protection fit together, why validation is so key, and how often he sees a typical client. To learn more about James, visit DocHawkLPC.com Check out James’s podcast, The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy You can also listen to James on Episode 132 of The Couples Therapist Couch
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Abi Blakeslee about implicit psychotherapy and couples. Abi is the founder of Implicit Psychotherapy and senior faculty at Somatic Experiencing International. Hear how to help people find deeper healing, how implicit memory works, how somatic experiencing fits with implicit memories, how childhood trauma impacts relationships years later, and how small changes can make a big impact over time. To learn more about Abi, visit: AbiBlakeslee.com ImplicitPsychotherapy.com   You can also listen to Abi on Episode 169 of The Couples Therapist Couch
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Sabrina N'Diaye about peace and healing in couples therapy. Sabrina is a therapist, storyteller, and peacebuilder with over 3 decades of service to the underserved. Hear how to get your clients to slow down and breathe, the role of a couples therapist when it comes to divorce, how to model acceptance, how to look at a marriage in different stages, and when to be direct with your clients. To check out Sabrina’s book, Big Mama Speaks, visit: BigMamaSpeaks.com To learn more about Sabrina’s practice, visit: TheHeartNest.com You can also listen to Sabrina on Episode 172 of The Couples Therapist Couch
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Wendy Behary about narcissism in couples therapy. Wendy is the Bestselling Author of “Disarming the Narcissist” and the Founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. Hear how she became interested in the study of narcissism, how to approach narcissism as a therapist, how to use Schema Therapy, whether it’s okay to interrupt your clients, and how to avoid getting triggered. To learn more about Wendy and check out her book, visit: DisarmingTheNarcissist.com  
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Kathryn Rheem about trauma in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Kathryn is the Director of The Washington Baltimore Center for EFT. Hear how she got over her Impostor Syndrome, how our nervous system is impacted by trauma, how to teach people to be able to receive love, how to connect with someone who’s angry and defensive, and the power of empathy.  To learn more about Kathryn, visit: WashingtonBaltimoreCenterForEFT.com RheemClark.com TheEFTCafe.com
This episode is dedicated to the incredible life of Dr. Sue Johnson. In this interview from nearly 5 years ago, Shane talks with Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Hear how she came up with EFT, the patterns she noticed in her clients, how emotion organizes your inner world, the impact of working with someone in EFT, and the qualities of a good EFT therapist. Learn more about the life of Dr. Sue Johnson at https://drsuejohnson.com/in-remembrance-of-dr-sue-johnson/
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Sharon Pope about all things divorce. Sharon is a Marriage & Relationship Coach and several-time Bestselling Author on love and relationships, including “Stay or Go?” Hear how to approach divorce, where people get stuck, how women and men differ in divorce, how therapists can guide people towards a decision, and why divorce should always be an option. To learn more about Sharon, visit SharonPope.com Check out “Stay or Go?” at StayOrGoBook.com
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