The Dad Bod

I'm really excited to be sharing this conversation with you because in addition to being a dad, Drew has made helping other dads his very work and mission, specifically through his role as the Director of Dad Central, an organization that serves and equips dads in their personal journeys to be better dads. Prior to joining Dad Central, Drew founded Connected Dads, an enterprise born from his own transformational journey in leadership coaching under the mentorship of John Maxwell, whose best selling books have inspired millions in corporate America and the general public with practical wisdom on leadership and personal growth. When I visited The Dad Central website in preparation for my conversation with Drew, I saw a wealth of materials and programming crafted specifically to help dads. Materials like, "The 7 Step Guide to Stop Yelling," "The New Dad Starter Kit," and "The Role and Value of Being a Dad," as well as direct mentorship through a private Dad Central community. But when I spoke with Drew, I went from merely amazed by the content of Dad Central to being deeply moved by Drew's personal story and motivation for helping dads. As you'll hear, the key for Drew in serving dads is to emanate the honesty and empathy of someone who, as he puts it, is doing the work himself. Our conversation took us to some pretty heavy themes: forgiveness, divorce, and what it takes to support a friend through difficult times.

For Father's Day , a tribute to the 12 dads that changed my life with their personal stories in season 1 of The Dad Bod.Looking for a last minute, free, heartfelt father's day gift for a dad in your life? Check out last year's HFD episode, Top 5 Last Minute Free Father's Day Gifts.Email me any time at shawn@thedadbodpod.com.Thank you for supporting The Dad Bod!

Shout out to Carlton, Daddy's Boy Dad, and Rod's brother, Kervens, for introducing me to Coach Rod because of the passion that we share for lifting up fatherhood. In Rod's case, he is the co-creator of Black Dad Unfiltered, a media company dedicated to showcasing the profound influence of Black fatherhood. Although Black Dad Unfiltered is only a year old, they’ve created an incredible amount of positivity on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest - basically every platform in addition to their podcast - driven by their mission to inform, inspire, and create positive change by elevating the contributions of Black fathers.At the surface, Black Dad Unfiltered and The Dad Bod look as different as Rod and me. But when we met on Zoom for an intro call, we immediately recognized the intertwined roots of our two creative endeavors. I was grateful for the opportunity to create this episode as a Black Dad Unfiltered - Dad Bod collaboration. I would describe the approach we took to the conversation as the Dad Bod melody set to the rhythm and rhyme of Black Dad Unfiltered. Is that what they call a remix? A mashup? Whatever it is, I hope it's the first of many collaborations, because what you're about to hear is a fun, meaningful conversation on important topics and stories that touch upon who we are as sons, men, and dads.Check out more from Black Dad Unfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, X, and Pinterest.

I was introduced to Tom by Thomas from Season 1. I dubbed Thomas, "Chosen Dad," because one of the key things that he shared with me was the concept of chosen family, the people who aren't biologically family to you but become your family through the power and constancy of their presence in your life. Tom and Thomas became chosen family to one another through Young Life, a Christian ministry for teens where Tom, in his capacity as Young Life staff, mentored Thomas. If you're confused at this point about which one's Tom and which one's Thomas, that's totally understandable. In fact, maybe that's the point, because their stories are like the shards of a once-broken object, their jagged, imperfect edges coming together to redeem the wasn't-supposed-to-be-this-way wounds of childhood into a meant-to-be miracle. In our conversation, Tom shares great wisdom and insight on two demographics that are especially pertinent to us dads: teenagers and middle-aged men, the two constituencies that he's ministered to in his 20-plus year career as a pastor. He also shares candidly about his pain from childhood, the healing he's received, and the growing up he still has left to do.One more thing to introduce this interview: I looked up the origin of the name Thomas and its shortened form, Tom, and it turns out that it's an Aramaic name that means "twin," so you might say that this episode pretty much named itself: Tom, Chosen Dad.Enjoy the transcript as well, specially prepared for clarity and impact.

My connection with Mario goes back to January, when I was part of the audience to his magic show, Mario the Maker Magician (@mariothemagician), for my niece's 6th birthday. As the lights dimmed in the theatre, I was expecting just a large scale version of magic shows that I'd seen at kids birthday parties, but looking back now, there were signs that this show would be different. The first was the location, the SOHO Playhouse, a downtown theatre proud of its rich place in history and as a launchpad of dreams for independent, off-broadway performers. The second was the credits and mentions in the program - Mario's been on Sesame Street, the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and on tour opening for David Blaine who calls him "the best kids magician in the world." Within the first four minutes, Mario had the kids laughing and captivated, but what makes the show different is that by the last four minutes, he had all of us grownups clapping and choking back tears as he harmonized his magic with the heartbeat of his show, a mantra that goes like this: do what you love; use what you've got; never give up; and have fun. Wow. My wife, sister, brother-in-law and I all looked each other as if to say, did you just cry in a kids magic show, or was it just me?Please check out the episode page, which for the first time ever, includes a transcript of the conversation, edited for clarity and formatted to convey an appreciation for what it means to be a dad today.

John and I met for the interview at his office, the type of space that works very hard just to keep up and yet remain ultimately indistinguishable from the other offices in midtown Manhattan. In this office, I could imagine John and I being introduced for professional reasons - we both work in finance - but instead, we were meeting as two dads to talk about fatherhood.  In a nod to the professional environment around us, the start of our conversation felt like water cooler small talk, and to be honest, I was worried that John and I would be held back by our shared professional customs and mannerisms that insist on keeping things, well, professional rather than personal.  Thankfully, to borrow from St. Augustine, even though we were physically meeting in a building prototypical to the City of Man, by the end of our conversation, we would find ourselves seated at a communal table in the City of God.⁠⁠Episode page⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠All episodes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Home page

If the vision for the Dad Bod is to capture the hidden drama of what it means to be a dad today, then for me personally, this conversation really nails it because so much of what Micah has to say about the feelings of being a dad really resonates with me. Feelings like exhaustion, restlessness, and guilt, but also gratitude, astonishment, and of course, love. Sitting across from Micah felt like listening to someone speak on behalf of my own personal cohort of dads: boys who grew up in suburban America in the 80s and 90s where unsupervised time outdoors and at friends’ homes drinking soda from a can and water from a hose was the norm. Rather than repeat that upbringing for our kids, we (and I include myself) have taken to helicopter parenting. How did that happen?⁠⁠Episode page⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠All episodes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Home page

Talking with Mitch was like getting a chance to look at my life from a healthy, helpful distance by being airlifted to his higher perch in life as a dad of two dads, a grandfather of six, and a husband of 45 years.  This episode is from a second conversation that I had with Mitch where he identified and shared his perspective on the major moments of transition in a child's life that we as dads should be particularly mindful of - yes, for the benefit of our children, but just as much for our benefit as well, because as he points out repeatedly, these are moments of transition for us, too.

Like many of you, I'm in my 40s and at this very, very full stage in life.  In overwhelming moments, my wife and I often ask each other, what do you think your older self might say to you? The goal of this thought exercise is to access a clear-eyed perspective by looking at oneself from afar via a different moment in time, even if just in one's mind.  Well, talking to Mitch was like a super-charged version of that. At 73 years of age with two sons, six grandkids, 45 years of marriage, and two incredible professional careers-worth of experience to draw from, speaking with Mitch felt like being airlifted to his perch in life and looking down at my own. ⁠⁠Episode page⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠All episodes⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Home page

In New York City, the person charged with the care, maintenance, and repair of a building is known as a "super." Short for superintendent, it also describes the quality of Alen's work and the superhuman way he seems to be in multiple places at once in the neighborhood, helping dozens of people get things done in their homes every single day.  That's exactly what he was doing in my apartment a few weeks ago.  We caught up while he installed a new light switch for me, and I briefly mentioned this personal project I've been working on, a podcast about what it means to be a dad today, and he immediately asked, "so when are you gonna have me on the show?"  Alen is a get-it-done kinda guy, so the two of us went ahead and got it done and thus, we have this episode. We met for the interview in the natural habitat of Alen's profession: the basement of my building, specifically behind the door marked, "DANGER: ELECTRIC ROOM."  In our conversation, Alan covers a lot of topics including his transformative early years in America; the differences between his three kids' upbringing and his own upbringing in a village in Montenegro; his many entrepreneurial pursuits, and what it really means to be a super. ⁠⁠Episode page⁠⁠ ⁠⁠All episodes⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Home page

A few years ago, Doug moved with his family from New York City to Taiwan to live a life that gives them the freedom to travel frequently, enjoy outdoorsy activities, and raise their kids as native Chinese speakers in an immersive Taiwanese cultural environment, all while still operating by the US-based e-commerce business that Doug started once upon a time as a side hustle to his data analytics career in NYC.  As you're about to hear, Doug and I had a great conversation about his life in Taiwan, but more importantly, we talk about the years-long journey to find the answer to a universal, burning question that led him there. Big thanks to Andrew, Dim Sum Dad for introducing me to Doug, after also introducing me to TJ, Seven Habits of Dad. ⁠Episode page⁠ ⁠All episodes⁠ ⁠Home page

John's wife says that he "looks like someone who used to work out" and John basically concurs, describing his dad bod shape as "oval." So if the shape of dad transformation is the oval, what is the shape of dad redemption? Episode page⁠ ⁠All episodes⁠ ⁠Home page

I met Andres more than 15 years ago, when he was dating my wife's childhood best friend and with whom he just celebrated 14 years of marriage.  At 60 years old, he is ahead of me in life and in parenting, and so even though we've never lived in the same city and our actual contact with each other is infrequent, I've looked up to him for a long time.  As you'll hear, Andres has a lot of deeply rooted wisdom gained through his experiences as a son, a chaplain, a pastor, a coach, and of course, as a dad. One of my favorite memories with Andres, which I'm not sure if he even remembers, is when he and his wife visited us when my wife was pregnant with our first.  On that visit, he specifically sought out one on one time with me to both pray for me and smoke a cigar with me as I was about to enter this amazing journey of fatherhood.  I'm not sure which came first, the praying or the cigars, but that moment is a little snapshot of how I see Andres: a person with whom every interaction teaches me more about God and life. Episode page All episodes Home page

Like me, Charlie is an American-born son of immigrant parents.  Although the facts of our lives and cultures differ greatly, I recognize a lot of the same truths, and even though I’m not yet at his stage in life, I approach Charlie’s story with a great deal of self interest: what can I learn from his experience about supporting a parent in the decline of old age and about ushering grown children into adulthood? This is one of the reasons I felt compelled to create The Dad Bod: to help us dads learn from other dads and to understand ourselves as connected to one another through the experience of fatherhood. And by learning, I don't mean tips, tricks, and how-tos.  Instead, I hope each of the Dad Bod episodes feels like being led through a small stack of photographs chosen by a dad from a partially sorted shoebox.  Such an experience offers something deeper than a tutorial, more complicated than a parable. Episode page⁠ ⁠All episodes⁠ ⁠Home page

Many details in Thomas’ story remind me of the other Dad Bod dads. Like Brian, he's a girl dad. Like Carlton, he met one of his mentors through the Young Life Christian organization. Like Jeremy, his dad struggled as a small business owner.  Like TJ, sports was the backdrop for a pivotal moment in his life. Like John, his dad couldn't be counted on.  Like Carlton, Andrew, and Brian, he's grieved his dad's passing.   In my imagination, I see Thomas gathered with the other Dad Bod dads, and this episode is him telling his story, adding it to the greater story of what it means to be a dad today.  And as he shares, the other dads acknowledge the similarities by nodding and saying, "me, too." Perhaps you've done the same while listening to The Dad Bod.  These similarities are the harmony to the melody of Thomas' story: a life deeply impacted by brokenness in his biological family but dramatically healed by divine grace through his chosen family. Episode page⁠ ⁠All episodes⁠ ⁠Home page