The Date Brazen Podcast

Ready to stop emotional outsourcing and start owning your worth in dating and beyond? If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or the exhausting cycle of codependency, this episode will feel like a deep exhale. Lily invites her brilliant friend and colleague, Victoria Albina, to explore what it takes to recognize the patterns that no longer serve you and break free from them—so you can finally show up as the main character in your life. Through an intersectional feminist lens, Victoria redefines the trope of codependency as “emotional outsourcing,” helping us see how it impacts not just our relationships but how we exist in the world. Together, they explore how our nervous system shapes our sense of safety and belonging, offering practical tools for reconnecting with self-love and grounding in our voice and intentions. We get into: How emotional outsourcing holds you back from being your authentic self The three essential emotional needs: safety, belonging, and worth An in-depth look at the nervous system and its role in fight, flight, fawn, and freeze responses Grounding techniques to help you reconnect with self-love and intention How to expand your capacity for feeling good, seen, and safe Links:  ✨ Register for The Late Bloomer's Guide to a Confident Holiday Season Victoria’s website Victoria on Instagram  Feminist Wellness Free meditations from Victoria for Date Brazen Listeners: VictoriaAlbina.com/lily Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/healing-from-codependency-with-victoria-albina  

I’m diving into how to care for yourself when life feels heavy. If you’re feeling drained or disappointed post-election—or really, after any tough experience—I’m here with a simple but powerful framework to help you reclaim your energy. In this episode, I’ll guide you through the SOFT practice: Self-compassion, Owning your needs, Feeling your feelings, and Thoughts, not facts. I’ll share practical tools, like Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion meditation, to help you navigate challenging times with more grace.  Whether it’s political stress or personal struggles, this episode is for anyone who needs a reminder that you deserve care, kindness, and support. Links: Free 5-minute self-compassion medication from Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/ The Loveland Foundation: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/

We’re airing a popular episode about claiming your essence-based preferences. Lily takes you through what essence-based preferences are, how they can transform your dating life, how to know if you’re being too rigid, and how to create them for yourself. This is a juicy episode you’ll want to come back to again and again! Hot-takes and How-tos from this episode: How do you know if you're being too "rigid" Essence-based preferences can apply to everything that you want Figure out how to get to the root of what you want by crafting your personal love-life vocabulary Links: Main Character Dating (formerly Brazen Breakthrough)Episode 26: How to navigate money in your dating life Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

“Should I give them another chance, or should I ‘just know’ if they’re right?” Hot take: The whole slow burn vs. spark debate might be keeping you from finding a meaningful connection. This episode challenges the idea that a romantic connection needs to fit neatly into a “slow burn” or “spark” to be worth pursuing. In this episode, you’ll learn: ✨ The pros and cons of Slow Burn vs. Spark—and why binaries rarely help in dating. ✨ Why curiosity is your best guide—offering a healthy middle ground that brings clarity without overthinking. ✨ When you’re just not feeling romantic interest? Bless and release without guilt! ✨ How to know what you want, trust your instincts, and choose curiosity over stressing about instant chemistry. Get ready to reframe your approach to dating, focus on what matters, and let go of the pressure to decide if it’s a slow burn or a spark from the start. Let’s make dating feel lighter, more fun, and aligned with you! Links: Pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold! Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/slowburn-vs-spark

How do you date with intention and authenticity during an election season? You’re in luck! Lily is back with a special episode all about dating during the election. She explores how to navigate the heightened political climate with a boundaried, agency-filled plan to attract people who truly align with your values.  Lily also shares tips on crafting a profile that reflects your values, managing tough discussions on dates, and knowing when to "bless and release." Get ready to learn how to vet dates based on political beliefs, set firm boundaries, and confidently steer conversations. You’ll learn: Understanding your boundaries and using essence-based preferences to define how you want to feel in a relationship How to incorporate your political values into your essence-based framework Best practices for bringing up politics in dating, including a reminder that “You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person.” Guidelines for dating during an election year, focusing on asking questions and prioritizing your emotional well-being Tips for including your political preferences in your dating profile Navigating heated political discussions during a date with grace Links: Pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold! 121. Dating Apps, AMA 135. How to create your essence-based preferences 162. The complete dating detox guide Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/dating-during-an-election  

Playing the sidekick in your own life? Not it. Step into your power, claim your main character identity and start making bold moves today. Why not you? Lily is dishing all about main character energy—what it is, what happens when you're not living in it, and how to level up and claim your spotlight. We’ve all been there—shrinking our desires because we fear being "too much" or worried about rejection. Or maybe you’re in that “good enough” life rut: a good job, good friends, good vacations... but deep down, you know you’re ready for great. This episode is all about ditching the people-pleasing and stepping into your main character era. You’ll learn: What it really means to not be in main character energy The three essential main character skills: permission, self-trust, and massive messy action How to stop sidelining your needs and start taking up space Practical tips on how to use 10 seconds of courage to build that main character muscle It’s not about being perfect. Even main characters make mistakes—but they’ve got the tools to get back up. So, give yourself permission to be a little messy and start owning your story today.  Links: Applications are open for the Main Character Life Mastermind!140. My bless and release strategy for letting go216. Stop overthinking your love life decisions (and how to actually trust yourself) Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-build-main-character-identity  

Ready to crush it and take your dreams to the next level? This episode is ALL about that! We’re diving into Laura’s epic journey of leveling up her life, how she tapped into her MCE (yep, Major Character Energy), and broke down her big dreams into totally doable, bite-sized steps. And guess what? It worked! You’ll walk away feeling fired up, knowing that what you want is not only possible—it’s practically calling your name.  This is your sign. Time to hit play, step into your power and go after what you want. We get into: Why action without community = dead-end vibes Laura’s raw, real talk on going through Main Character Life Mastermind during a tough time of grief How deep personal growth impacts everything, including your relationships The badass move from inaction to taking bold steps toward your biggest dreams Real talk: Confidence is EVERYTHING, and asking for what you want is the key to getting it How to create the support system you need to step onto that bigger stage in your life Links: Applications are open for the Main Character Life Mastermind!Laura’s websiteLaura on Instagram: @cheekylamiki @dispatcheddivorcee Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/from-paralyzed-to-launching-her-dream-business-with-laura

Ready to stop playing small and start living big? This week, Mastermind client Katie shares how she embraced main character energy, stepped out of her comfort zone, and began living a joyful AF life!  From ditching self-doubt to creating a social life that lights her up, Katie talks about the bold moves she made—like taking a sabbatical and going on solo adventures. It wasn’t easy, but she trusted herself enough to push past fear and take massive, rewarding actions. We get into: Breaking out of your comfort zone and going after what you want Building joy and meaningful social connections The power of self-trust and why it’s okay to invest in yourself  Katie’s breakthrough journey and how she stopped playing small  Don’t miss out on the chance to take control of your own story! Tune in and step into your main character energy.  Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/comfort-zone-to-mce-with-katie  

Do you feel like you're burning the candle at both ends with nothing left for yourself? In this bonus episode, Lily chats with Juliet, a client from the Main Character Energy Mastermind, about how she transformed her life by setting boundaries at work and making room for joy and meaningful connections.   Juliet’s story is all about taking back control and living fully to share how stepping into her power completely flipped her life around. From feeling burned out and isolated to creating deep friendships and a fulfilling love life, Juliet’s transformation is nothing short of inspiring. We get into: Truly believing in what you need and want unlocks the power to make aligned choices Identifying the key components and values of your ideal life is the first step toward living it How Juliet nurtured deeper connections with friends  Finding more space for joy within all facets of Juliet’s life  Overcoming internal criticism shifts your mindset from self-doubt to self-compassion Turning “dating sucks” into “I can make dating fun!”  Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/from-burnout-to-boundaries-with-client-juliet

Are you stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt? Lily tackles exactly how you can break free from that mental loop. We dive into the real cost of overthinking—how it's draining your energy, wasting your time, and slowing down your life’s momentum. Lily shares methods to help you stop doubting yourself and start building a rock-solid foundation of self-trust. By the end of the episode, you'll have a clear plan of action so you can confidently take bold steps toward the life you want, without the exhausting mental spirals. What if overthinking was just a roadblock on your journey to becoming the main character in your own story? This is your invitation to shift into that energy, giving yourself permission to trust, transform, and take massive, messy action. You’ll learn: How to recognize the signs that you may have a self-trust deficit and how it affects your daily life Why building self-trust, even imperfectly, is an essential step toward living a rich and fulfilling life The reasons behind why you struggle to trust yourself and how fear and past experiences may be holding you back That self-trust is a skill that takes time and practice to master How to build self-trust and confidently take action, leading to more clarity and control in your life Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-trust-yourself  

Want to know how to ask for exactly what you want, nurture your biggest dreams, and crush your fears along the way? You’re in luck!  Lily and her guest break down how to tap into your main character energy and own every aspect of your life. In this episode, you'll learn how to reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve left behind, nurture your inner light, and permit yourself to ask for – and actually receive – what you truly want.   We get into: The disconnect between showing Main Character Energy on the outside but not feeling it internally Giving yourself permission to take the chance and truly nurture your own needs The power of finding support through a community coaching space and receiving collective encouragement The challenges of asking for what you want, and learning that sometimes it’s about asking less of yourself and allowing others to show up for you How slowing down, even during success or failure, doesn’t stall your growth Understanding that listening to your desires only fuels more of them The willingness to embrace more joy and actively seek it out in your life   Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/ask-for-what-you-want-mce

Ever thought about making a big leap from your current job to your dream career? Discover how Erica ditched an exhausting job and became a full-time romance novelist with main character energy! Lily welcomes Erica a former Main Character Energy Mastermind client who made the leap from feeling stuck in her career to living her dream as a full-time romance novelist. Erica gets real about facing her fears, ditching self-doubt, and breaking free from the "shoulds" to follow her passion. This convo is a must-listen if you’re ready to trust yourself, go after what you want, and make some bold, messy moves. Plus, Lily spills the details on her live training event happening October 9th, all about taking risks with main character energy. This episode will leave you feeling inspired and ready to take tangible next steps to embrace main character energy, stop “shoulding” all over yourself, and step into a braver, bolder, and more magical season of your life. We get into: How Erica embraced her desire to become a full-time romance novelist  Tapping into main character energy to choose yourself and make your dreams a reality: “Here is an opportunity to figure out a way to choose me,” said Erica. Get the scoop on how trusting yourself can lead to bold moves and major life changes “What you want doesn't just appear one day because you wish for it hard enough. It's about really taking into consideration the work that I put in, the talent that I know I have, the want and just going after it.” How stepping away from people-pleasing can help you build the self-trust you need to chase your true desires Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Erica’s books, including “Witty in Pink” Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/choosing-yourself-with-erica  

What happens when you stop playing it safe and start betting on yourself? In this episode, Jackie spills on how she shifted from burnout to bold moves, and what it takes to embrace that Main Character Energy. Jackie, a former Main Character Energy Mastermind member, joins Lily for a convo about how she went from frozen in fear and burnt out to making some serious boss moves in her life. Together, they dive into the power of community and the mindset shifts that make growth happen. Spoiler: It’s all about trusting yourself, embracing the messiness, and going after what’s yours—whether it's your career goals or relationship desires. We get into: How self-trust can lead to unexpected joy and experiences  Transitioning from a background character energy to main character energy “Whatever growth you are looking to make - if you put in the effort, it will come.” Taking imperfect action and claiming that things are working out - even when it feels uncomfortable  Jackie’s experience as a researcher of joy! Links: RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/huge-risks-with-mce-with-jackie  

Is it possible to stay true to yourself while navigating the world of dating? Absolutely! We’re pulling back the curtain with special guests Ali and Erica from Finding Mr. Height. Lily sits down with the duo to discuss how they decided to start their dating podcast and offers a glimpse into the clues, details, and breadcrumbs that help you figure out if someone is right for you. We also dig into the anxieties that surface in new and long-term relationships, offering strategies for navigating them with confidence and clarity. You’ll also hear Ali and Erica's candid thoughts on their least favorite—and most favorite—pieces of dating advice. Plus, Lily explores some uncharted territory, sharing her take on long-term relationships. This episode is packed with humor and practical tips to help you own what you want and build strong relationships. We get into: What inspired Ali and Erica to launch their dating podcast, Finding Mr. Height Spotting the subtle clues and signals to determine if someone’s right for you (or not) Relationship anxieties—whether you’re just starting out or deep in a long-term commitment Finding and building a meaningful relationship that works for you Ali and Erica’s top dating tips and the advice they’d rather skip Links: Finding Mr. Height podcast Finding Mr. Height on Instagram @findingmrheight Erica on Instagram @spericaa Lily’s appearance on Finding Mr. Height Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/finding-mr-height-ali-and-erica  

Hot-take: Bragging is key to attracting more in your dating life. That’s right! We’re diving into Lily's favorite chapter from her book, Thank You More Please: A Feminist Guide to Breaking Dumb Dating Rules and Finding Love. It's all about the Brazen Bragging Revolution! 🚀 Lily breaks down why bragging isn’t just a power move but the key to attracting more fulfilling relationships. She gets real about her journey, tackles the societal BS that holds us back and gives you the ultimate guide to celebrating your awesomeness. Plus, there’s exclusive bonus content waiting for you if you snag her book from her website.  You’ll learn: Why hiding your full awesomeness leads to uninspiring dates  Why it feels weird to brag and how to get over it How to choose your bragging support and community wisely  Mastering the art of brazen bragging Real-life examples of what you can start bragging about today Links: Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/brag-more-find-love

What does it take to go from feeling "behind" in dating to confidently making your move every single time? This week, Lily welcomes client Allyson, who shares her journey from feeling behind in dating to embracing self-compassion and taking control of her love life. They chat about the game-changing power of self-love, shaking off society's BS standards, and how stepping into a main character mindset has leveled up not just Allyson's dating game, but her whole life. Tune in for some real talk on how to attract meaningful relationships while staying true to yourself, taking your shot, and feeling all kinds of empowered. We get into: The struggle of feeling behind in dating – "It felt like a mountain I couldn’t climb." Why it's okay to be uncomfortable, and how to find safety even in the discomfort. Owning the fact that you are in complete control of your love life. How Allyson found the courage to shoot her shot and ask someone out Allyson’s new beliefs about her future, and how it’s all coming together Links: Main Character Dating (formerly known as Brazen Breakthrough) Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/shooting-your-shot-with-allyson  

What if the key to transforming your dating life is all about owning your worth? Listen in to find out how Miriam went from dating fear to confidently choosing people who were aligned with what they truly wanted.  Join Lily and client Miriam as they dive deep into the thoughts that so many of us have about dating, worthiness, and settling, and how these can keep us stuck on a hamster wheel, going through the motions without real progress. Miriam shares their journey from feeling frustrated and scared about dating to radiating confidence and truly enjoying the experience! We get into: The dating hamster wheel: How to break free from the endless cycle of dating without progress and finally make things happen. Tips for overcoming those nagging thoughts like “I’m too much” or “All the good ones are taken” and boosting your dating confidence Dealing with fears of settling, picking the wrong partner, or just getting started in the dating world How Miriam mastered the art of blessing and releasing when there was a values mismatch, rather than sticking around to “see where this goes.” Links: ✨RSVP for Lily’s Free Training - 3 Steps to Attract the Right Partner as a “Late Bloomer” ✨ Main Character Dating (formerly known as Brazen Breakthrough) Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Date Brazen on YouTube Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/bless-and-release-confidently-with-miriam  

Hot-take: You should make the first move 100% of the time. If you read that and feel a sense of fear, that’s okay! In this episode, Lily breaks down everything from rocking a proactive mindset to embracing those awkward moments and showing yourself some self-compassion so you can confidently make the first move every time. This is the most passionate lesson Lily teaches, and she has seen a major difference in clients' ability to attract the right partner. Tune in to learn how to transform your dating life with bold confidence and get the deets on more resources to help you along the way.  You’ll learn: How to embrace the awkwardness, recognize your inner power, and remember you're resilient AF. “You can't say the wrong thing to the right person.” Take Your Shot: Every attempt brings you closer to what you want because you're actively attracting and asking for it. Use the S.O.F.T. method to move through rejection: Self-compassion, Own Your Needs, Feel Your Feelings, and remember that Thoughts Are Not Facts. Creative and practical suggestions to help you take that first step! Links: ✨RSVP for Lily’s Free Training - 3 Steps to Attract the Right Partner as a “Late Bloomer” ✨ Main Character Dating Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please 162. The Complete Dating Detox Guide Kristin Neff’s Self-compassion.org Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/make-the-first-move-every-time  

Are you wondering, “How do I pick up the pieces after this horrible breakup?” This week, Lily dives straight into an inspiring conversation with Liz, a former client who turned the heartbreak of a broken engagement into a powerful journey of healing and finding new love. Liz keeps it real, sharing her experiences of embracing pain, seeking support, and rebuilding self-trust. Together, Lily and Liz explore the transformative process of becoming your main character through the work of Main Character Dating, formerly known as Brazen Breakthrough. Returning to the podcast after her first appearance in 2023, Liz brings a full-circle perspective, offering wisdom and insights for anyone navigating post-breakup life or re-entering the dating world.  Listen in as Liz reflects on how the principles of Main Character Dating have evolved with her, revealing how embracing self-discovery and vulnerability can be your greatest strengths. We get into: Picking up the pieces after a shitty breakup Liz shares her raw experience: “I had to fully feel all my pain,” emphasizing the importance of embracing and processing emotions to heal When you show up with your feelings, the right people show up for you as well Navigating the desire/shame see-saw means trusting your gut and understanding there's no perfect timeline for getting back into dating Liz explores, “What does self-trust look like for you now?” sharing how she found courage and rebuilt self-trust  Links: ✨RSVP for Lily’s Free Training - 3 Steps to Attract the Right Partner as a “Late Bloomer” ✨ Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/self-trust-and-love-after-a-breakup-with-liz  

Are you feeling like a “late bloomer” in your dating life? This week, Lily busts nine myths commonly believed by “late bloomers” and shares practical steps to overcome them. With a focus on self-compassion, Main Character Energy, and the idea that dating is a learnable skill, Lily’s insights will shift your perspective and boost your confidence for joyful AF dating experiences.  Feelings of shame and isolation often accompany those who feel behind in their love lives. This episode aims to help you shed the "late bloomer" identity, provide you with a sense of relief, and galvanize you to take action toward your deepest desires.  You’ll learn how to: Embrace self-compassion and connection Distinguish between thoughts vs. facts Break free from societal (and patriarchal) dating norms and define your dating journey Heal and neutralize "late bloomer" conditioning Let go of those who aren't right for you with grace (bless and release!) Embrace your current stage in life and recognize that you’re whole as you are Redefine what “blooming” means to you Links: ✨RSVP for Lily’s Free Training - 3 Steps to Attract the Right Partner as a “Late Bloomer” ✨ Lily’s book: Thank You, More Please Show notes: http://datebrazen.com/blog/late-bloomer-guide-to-releasing-worry