The Deep Dish

When we treat gossip as an “excusable sin,” we ignore the corrosive power it has in our lives and relationships. In this conversation, Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk about why we’re so drawn to gossip, how to avoid it, and how to repent of it when you fail. They discuss some telltale phrases that are red flags for gossip, how to turn the conversation to something else, and when and how it’s right to confess gossip. Listen in as Courtney and Melissa spill the tea on gossip. Related Content:How to Shut Down GossipLet’s Talk: Fighting SinTaming the Tongue: How the Gospel Transforms Our Talk Discussion Questions:1. How did the verses shared expand your understanding of what gossip is and how it’s harmful?2. How have you experienced the repercussions or damage of gossip?3. What recent opportunities have you had to use healing, life-giving words? When have there been opportunities for your words to be potentially damaging?4. In what situations are you most prone to engage in gossip? What motivations might be driving this desire?5. What redirection strategies would be helpful for you to have in mind as you try to guard your conversations against gossip?6. What things unite your current friendships? How do they affect the quality of those relationships?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with Jen Wilkin about how to make decisions regarding good opportunities in light of our finiteness. They talk about why quitting is sometimes wise, how to think about decisions that will affect your family, and why it’s better to think of God's will as a field rather than a maze.Recommended ResourcesLeadership on the Line by Ronald A. Heifetz and Martin LinskyPrecious Remedies Against Satan's Devices by Thomas BrooksRelated ContentShould I Prioritize Family or Work? Neither.The Busy Christian Family 6 Lessons for Tending Your TimeDiscussion Questions What is your attitude toward change? Are you more prone to embrace or resist changes in your life?Who has God positioned in your life to help you process significant transitions or decisions?What could a regular practice of “taking the temperature” of your current commitments look like? How can you assess the way they’re affecting your relationships with the Lord and others?In what ways are your current commitments influencing the amount and quality of time you spend with the Lord?Describe a time when you’ve decided to commit to a “sacrificial yes,” “necessary no,” or “not right now.” How has God used that experience to teach you about stewarding time?What attributes of God do you need to be reminded of as you make decisions about commitments in this season of life?

Melissa and Courtney talk with Mark Vroegop about the gap moments of our lives when we have to wait. They discuss why waiting is so frustrating, what it means to wait on the Lord, what the Bible says about waiting, and how to recognize the sinful patterns we should avoid in times of waiting. No one likes to wait, but waiting is where we learn to walk by faith and where God does some of his best work in our lives!Discussion Questions: 1. How are you currently experiencing waiting?2. What expectations are you bringing to that situation, and how might those be shaping your thoughts and actions?3. How has God used past seasons of waiting as “fertilizer” to strengthen your faith?4. How does knowing that God both commends and commands waiting change your perspective as you wait?5. Of the 3 A’s mentioned (anger, anxiety, apathy), which are you most prone to feel in your “gap times”?6. Which attributes of God are most comforting or helpful for you to be reminded of in your “gap times”?7. Which biblical example of waiting was most meaningful to you? What other encouraging examples come to mind?Resources Mentioned:Waiting Isn’t a Waste by Mark VroegopRelated Resources:How God Uses Our WaitingHope for Waiting HeartsGod’s People Are a Waiting PeopleSeasons of Waiting: Walking by Faith When Dreams Are Delayed by Betsy Childs Howard

Recommended ResourcesChosen Together (TGC25 keynote by John Piper on Ephesians 1:3–14)In View of God’s Mercies by Courtney Doctor (Bible study book)Related ContentHow to Organize and Orchestrate a Bible Study3 Questions to Ask When Choosing a Bible StudyFour Types of Questions NOT to Ask in Your Small Group Bible StudyNeed a Fall Women’s Bible Study? Try One of These.Rubric Questions for Choosing a Group Bible Study:Does this study require me to have my Bible open?Are the questions rooted in the text?Does this study account for various learning styles?Is it accessible to the women I'm leading?Does it speak to a current need in our church?Five Levels of Communication:1. Small Talk2. Facts3. Opinions and Ideas4. Feelings5. Deep EmotionDiscussion Questions1. Which book of the Bible could you study over and over without ever getting tired of it?2. What unique aspects of doing Bible study within the local church have you experienced?3. When have you been part of studies that were aligned with what was happening in other areas of the church? What benefits did you experience from that alignment? What opportunities exist for future alignment?4. What locations do you usually study in (home or church)? What benefits could come from hosting your group in different settings?5. How prone is your study group to using “Christianese”? How can you be more intentional about using language that would make unbelieving friends comfortable joining your discussion?6. How has prioritizing time in God’s Word and in prayer helped you love others better?

Melissa Kruger talks with her friends Hunter Beless and Laura Wifler about the role social media has played in their lives, both positive and negative. They talk about temptations that can arise from social media—from neglecting other good pursuits to inspiring covetousness. They discuss why it can be helpful to take breaks and what red flags they look for in their own lives that show social media is doing them more harm than good.Recommended Resources:Journeywomen podcastTitus: Displaying the Gospel of GraceRelated Content:Social Sanity in an Insta WorldThe Danger of Self-Soothing Through Social MediaWhy I’m Staying on Social MediaThe Disaster and Delight of Social MediaDiscussion Questions:1. What one word would best describe your current relationship with social media?2. What benefits or positive experiences have you had from engaging with social media?3. In what ways does your social media consumption feed comparison or discontentment in your life?4. What would it look like to engage with social media in ways that glorify God and allow you to love others well? What would you start and stop doing?5. What practices or boundaries could you put in place to be a wise consumer of online content?6. Have you ever taken a break (or considered taking a break) from social media? What was the experience like?7. How can your discussion partners pray for you as you consider how to engage with social media in healthy, God-honoring ways?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with Vanessa Hawkins about the Bible’s trustworthiness. They discuss why things like apparent inconsistencies and many different authors can actually point to the truth of the Christian Scriptures.They recommend resources to help listeners become familiar with biblical genre and the overarching narrative of the Bible to better understand how Scripture fits together.Recommended Resources:How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon Fee and Douglas StuartSurviving Religion 101 by Michael KrugerCanon FodderThe Whole Story of the Bible in 16 Verses by Chris BrunoFrom Garden to Glory by Courtney DoctorFrom Beginning to Forever by Elizabeth WoodsonNancy GuthrieRelated Content:The Biblical CanonWhy You Can Trust Your BibleHow to Face Apparent Contradictions in the BibleGen Z’s Questions About Christianity: The Bible’s AuthorityDiscussion Questions:What questions or doubts about the Bible’s reliability have you encountered from others or wrestled with yourself? What has been challenging about addressing those questions or concerns?How is the nature of eyewitness testimony helpful in increasing our confidence in the Bible’s accuracy?What consistencies within the Bible amaze you and grow your trust in God and his Word? Where do you see the beauty, harmony, and power of his Word displayed?How does being familiar with the Bible’s overarching narrative help us read and understand it better? What steps can you take to increase your understanding of this narrative or to help others become more familiar with it?What other details in this episode were surprising or served as helpful reminders of why we can trust God’s Word?

We’re sharing this episode of our Gospelbound podcast as a bonus episode for Deep Dish listeners because we know you love to read! In it, Melissa Kruger and Collin Hansen talk about what’s on their own summer reading list and share recommendations of other books they believe our listeners will enjoy. We hope this conversation will lead you to books that are edifying and enjoyable. Happy reading!Collin's Summer Reading ListGodric by Frederick BuechnerThe Fate of the Day by Rick AtkinsonThe Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis Melissa's Summer Reading ListHomecoming by Kate MortonThe Lord's Work in the Lord's Way and No Little People by Francis A. Schaeffer The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas ChalmersFor the full list of book recommendations mentioned in this episode, visit our website.

Courtney Doctor talks with Whitney Pipkin and Wendy Alsup, two of her friends who have known deep grief. They talk about why grief can be so surprising, why God allows it, and how to talk to a friend who is grieving (hint: it’s better to listen). Whitney talks about why we shouldn’t rush through grief; it’s appropriate to rage against death! Wendy says that we can see our grief as our resistance to the effects of the Fall. Listen to this episode and be comforted that even if grief feels strange and disorienting, you are not alone. Recommended Resources:We Shall All Be Changed by Whitney PipkinCompanions in Suffering: Comfort for Times of Loss and Loneliness by Wendy AlsupRelated Content:What I Misunderstood About GriefDark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark VroegopGrief Is Not an Enemy of FaithDiscussion Questions:What personal experiences with loss have you (or those close to you) had? Or in what ways do you relate to feeling “immune” from loss?How has experiencing suffering or loss changed you or your outlook on life?How can believers grieve in ways that acknowledge the need to lament as well as maintain hope?In what ways did this episode challenge you to be a better companion to someone walking through a season of suffering?What Scriptures have comforted or ministered to you in hard seasons?How did this conversation help you consider gratitude alongside grief and loss?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor respond to questions submitted by listeners such as what advice they have for newlyweds, how women can thoughtfully have relationships with their pastors and elders, their go-to verses for lonely times, and last but not least, their favorite pizza toppings!New episodes of The Deep Dish will now be released every other Thursday. Sign up for exclusive content for women and updates on The Deep Dish podcast here.  Recommended Resources:Parenting with HopeThe Lord’s Work in the Lord’s Way“‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus”Related Content:TGC Q&A PodcastLet’s Talk: Your Questions, Answered!Questions Discussed:What’s a good way to get constructive criticism on Bible teaching without falling into people pleasing?What are some practical ways to teach a teen to read and study the Word without her feeling forced?How did you know it was time to go to seminary? What advice would you give women considering seminary?How do you grow relationships with pastors and elders as a female church member?What practical tips can you give on asking questions that get conversations going and reach the heart?I’m getting married this fall to a wonderfully godly man. Do you have advice or encouragement for newlyweds?What has helped you grow in affection for the Lord?What are your go-to verses for lonely seasons of life?What are your favorite pizza toppings?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk about how to seek out the counsel of wise friends and how to respond well when friends seek your counsel. They discuss how to ask good questions, how to deliver a gentle rebuke when necessary, how to follow up on requests for accountability, and how to point someone to Scripture without treating it like a Bible Band-Aid. Listen prayerfully to prepare yourself for opportunities that arise to bear one another’s burdens.Recommended Resources:I’m Praying for You by Nancy GuthrieCount It All Joy by Helen RoseveareRelated Content:7 Things to Say to a Hurting Loved OneWhy Mentoring Is Better Than Asking AlexaThe Neglected Ministry of Asking QuestionsDiscussion Questions:1. Considering examples of people who have supported you in difficult seasons, what qualities do you appreciate most in them?2. In what ways have you struggled to balance extending both grace and truth in your own “kitchen-table counseling”?3. How can we ensure any necessary rebukes we deliver are given with gentleness?4. What helps you determine whether someone is “safe” to confess a burden or sin to?5. In what ways could you make yourself a more approachable and available source of counsel for those who need your support?6. How can your discussion partners pray for you as you point others to God in difficult situations?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with Trillia Newbell about the depth and richness of Romans 8. They explain how to understand Romans 8 in the context of the previous chapters, why there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, how to let that truth make a difference in your life, and how to respond to the question “If there’s no condemnation for me, why am I suffering?” We hope you will open your Bibles and dive in!Recommended Resources:If God Is For Us by Trillia NewbellIn View of God’s Mercies by Courtney DoctorCelebrating Around the Table by Trillia NewbellRelated Content:Living in the Hope of Liberation from BondageThe Good News of Romans 8If God Is for Us: Standing Accused with Romans 8Discussion Questions:Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those in Christ. How does this verse reshape your thinking about areas of guilt or shame in your life?What’s one area of your life where you need to intentionally walk in the Spirit rather than the flesh? What’s one step you can take this week to move in that direction?How does the truth of Romans 8:18 (“the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us”) bring hope to seasons of waiting or hardship? How have you personally experienced this hope?How did this conversation help you understand what “good” means in the context of Romans 8:28 ("all things work together for good")? How can this shift our expectations when life doesn’t go as planned?Reflecting on Romans 8:35–39, which truths are most meaningful to you in combating the lie that God doesn’t love you? How would you encourage another woman who is struggling to believe she is more than a conqueror through Christ (Romans 8:37)?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with Vanessa Hawkins about the vital and beautiful role church should have in the life of every Christian. They discuss what keeps people from regular church attendance and how to move beyond church hurt. They talk about why your church attendance and involvement is not only necessary for your own spiritual growth, but for the other members of the body of Christ.Recommended Resources:Deep Discipleship by J. T. EnglishSighing on Sunday by Megan HillA Place to Belong by Megan HillWestminster Confession of Faith“Father, I Stretch My Hands to Thee”Related Content:The Church Is Essential for DiscipleshipWant to Reach the Next Generation? Love the Church.5 Reasons to Keep Going to Church with Baby BrainLet’s Talk: Overcoming Church HurtDiscussion Questions:In what ways are you currently “showing up” (or not showing up) in your church community?What is most likely to keep you from showing up at church, either literally or figuratively?How have you experienced being known, loved, and cared for by the church?What has your participation in your church community taught you about God and what he values? What liturgies or traditions in your church are most meaningful to you?What encouragement would you offer someone who has been hurt by people within the church? If this is you, what has helped you persevere in seeing the church's beauty?What change or next step would you like to take regarding your engagement in your church? How can your discussion partners pray for you?

Courtney Doctor and Melissa Kruger discuss how to make decisions about using your time. They they talk about how to think of yourself with sober judgment, the wrong reasons to say “yes” and “no,” and how to recognize which callings in your life must be prioritized. Although there is no formula for determining when to say yes or no, there is always wisdom available from God when we ask for it!Recommended Resources:2 Timothy 4:6–18The Envy of Eve by Melissa KrugerWork Well with All Types of People (The Deep Dish - Episode 7)Related Content:Let’s Talk: Decision-MakingHow to Know When to Say NoMake It Your Ambition: Seven Godly Pursuits for the Next Generation by Jeremy WritebolHelp! I’m Afraid I Made the Wrong DecisionDiscussion Questions:What’s a situation in which you struggled to give a yes or no? What made that decision difficult?Do you tend to say yes or no more often? What usually motivates your yes or no?What might pursuing time with the Lord in order to have a “transformed mind” look like in your life right now? What might need to change in order for you to prioritize this?What situations has God used in your life to reveal your unique giftings?In what ways do you experience tension between pursuing self-care/rest and sacrificial service? How can self-care and comfort become idols that influence our decision-making?How has God provided rest for you during seasons of sacrificial yeses? What sabbath practices help you find rest in the Lord?

Courtney Doctor, Melissa Kruger, Vanessa Hawkins, and Jen Wilkin have each been married for more than 25 years.In this conversation, they talk about how marriage was different from what they expected, what practices have strengthened their marriage through life's ebbs and flows, and they debunk some of the worst marriage advice they’ve heard.  Recommended Resources:Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben StuartSacred Marriage by Gary ThomasRelated Content:Growing Your Marriage While Having Young KidsSustaining the Covenant of Marital LoveMarriage in Gospel FocusA Biblical View of MarriageDiscussion Questions:What does spending quality time together look like in this season of your lives? What is the best (or worst) piece of relationship advice you have received? What made it helpful or harmful?What strengths do you see in yourself and your spouse? How have those strengths balanced out areas of weakness in different seasons of your lives?Can you think of a way you would like to rearrange your priorities in order to strengthen your marriage (or your future marriage)?What “one another” commands come the easiest to you? Which are most difficult, and how might you seek to live those out increasingly?In what ways has God used your marriage to sanctify you?What do you want to pray for your spouse, marriage, or yourself based on what you have heard and discussed?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with their colleague Ann Westrate about how understanding each others’ gifts has enhanced their work as a team. They talk about how much the Working Genius assessment helped them understand why what might be easy for one of them is hard for someone else. Understanding what different gifts are represented in a team can enhance morale and strengthen relationships. We all have gifts, but none of us have all the gifts.Recommended Resources:Growing Together by Melissa KrugerWorking Genius assessment Ann’s Recipe for Steak Soup Related Content:Let’s Talk: Spiritual GiftsFlourish in How God Has (and Has Not) Gifted YouThe Spiritual Gift You Don’t Notice Until It’s GoneDiscussion Questions:What gifts or abilities have others recognized or affirmed in you? How has God given you opportunities to use and develop those?While this episode focused on the Working Genius, there are many assessments available to help you understand the way you work and interact with others. If you have taken any, how have your results been helpful to you?In what ways have you struggled with envy of other peoples’ giftedness? How do you see your own strengths as an essential part of the body’s functioning? Where do you feel called to invest your talents in new ways (or to continue using them)?If you are a parent, how do you see your giftedness impact the way you serve your family in this season of life?Who in your work, church, or family needs to have their giftedness recognized and affirmed? How is God calling you to encourage that person or those people?

Courtney Doctor talks with Melissa Kruger, and Elizabeth Woodson about the true meaning of contentment and how to find it. They discuss how discontentment springs from the attitude of our hearts rather than our circumstances and will only be overcome by trusting God’s goodness. They talk about the enemies of contentment as well as how the psalms of lament show us that grieving is compatible with contentment. We can confess that God has withheld no good thing while also asking, “How long, O Lord?”Recommended Resources:Embrace Your Life by Elizabeth WoodsonThe Envy of Eve by Melissa KrugerRelated Content:Looking for Contentment? It’s Not What You ThinkWill God Provide for Your Needs?Your Church Needs Your ContentmentDiscover the Grace of LamentDiscussion Questions:In what areas of life do you struggle with comparison? How have you experienced comparison feeding feelings of discontentment?What regular practices help you continually remind yourself to find contentment in the “past certainty and future hope” God provides instead of your current circumstances? In what ways is this challenging for you as well?Can you think of an example in your life where God has made the “boundary lines” fall in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6 even if you didn’t immediately recognize it)? What past circumstance has taught you that what he has given (or withheld) is enough?What would it look like to “delight yourself in the Lord” in your current season of life?In what ways have you experienced God transforming your desires into what he desires?What current circumstance is God using as a “schoolroom” to teach you how to trust him more deeply?

Melissa Kruger talks with Sandi Taylor and Ruth Chou Simon about parenting teenagers. They reflect on the principles of their parenting that have stayed the same even though their practices have changed as their children age. They discuss how to pick the right battles, why you shouldn’t look shocked when your teen tells you something shocking, and why teens need both firmness and warmth from their parents.Mentioned Resources:Parenting with Hope by Melissa KrugerRelated Resources:Parent, Meet Your TeenBreaking Social Media’s Grip on TeensYou Can Parent Teens with Hope in a Secular AgeYour Teenager Needs DiscipleshipDiscussion Questions:In what ways do you want to “go first” in modeling for your kids what a life following Jesus looks like?How and why does rule-making give us a false sense of security as parents? What areas do you feel most prone to create rules for your kids that go past what God has said?What idols has God revealed to you in your parenting? How will you combat the influence of those idols?How can you prioritize creating space and opportunities for conversations with your teen (or how will you plan to prioritize this in the future)?How does reflecting on the ways that God parents you help inform the way you want to parent your children?How can your discussion partners pray for you and your family in this season?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk with Jen Wilkin about how to embrace a more beautiful and biblical view on bodies, aging, beauty, and youth. They discuss why we should see aging as a gift rather than a disease, and how we can prepare our spirits for the decline of our bodies. This conversation will not tell you where to “draw the line” when it comes to pursuing a more youthful appearance through beauty treatments, but it will renew your perspective so that that question will seem less important.Mentioned Resource:On Getting Out of Bed by Alan NobleRelated Resources:5 Lies About Your BodyHow to Grow Newer When You’re Not Growing YoungerNot the You You RememberWrinkle Cream Can’t Redeem YouDiscussion Questions:What is your favorite thing about being in the decade of life you are currently in?In what ways have you experienced cultural pressure to value and preserve youthfulness? How has this impacted you?What role does social media play in shaping your perceptions of aging?Can you think of examples of people in your life who are aging gracefully? What have you learned through their example?What wisdom have you gained as you have grown older? How does this help you see aging as a gift, rather than a disease?What does pursuing “imperishable beauty” in your life look like right now? How would you like to do this increasingly?

Melissa Kruger and Courtney Doctor talk about the mysterious tension between the doctrine of God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. They discuss what implications God’s sovereignty has for our prayer lives and why it shouldn’t cool our passion for evangelism. Although it may be hard to understand how God could be sovereign when we are suffering, what is initially a troubling doctrine can become our deepest comfort.RESOURCES MENTIONEDNone Like Him by Jen WilkinIn His Image by Jen WilkinChosen by God by R. C. SproulCount It All Joy by Helen RoseveareKnowing God by J. I. PackerEvangelism and the Sovereignty of God by J. I. PackerPiercing Heaven: The Prayers of the PuritansRELATED RESOURCESThe Unlikely Friendship between God’s Sovereignty and Man’s ResponsibilityWhy God’s Election Is Good NewsHow Romans 8 Made Me a Calvinist3 Objections to the Doctrine of ElectionDISCUSSION QUESTIONSHave you ever experienced an interruption or inconvenience that turned into a “divine appointment?” How did God use that situation?How has learning about God’s sovereignty challenged or comforted you personally?How does remembering God’s sovereignty affect your prayer life? In what ways have you struggled to hold the truths of God’s sovereignty and human responsibility in tension? What questions has this tension raised for you?How have seasons of suffering or hardship grown your trust in God and helped you experience his presence in distinct ways?In what current situation do you most need to “lay your head on the pillow of God’s sovereignty”? How can your discussion partner(s) pray for you?

Courtney and Melissa talk with Nancy Guthrie about their prayer lives. They talk about why it makes sense to pray, even when we believe God has already determined what is going to happen, and why it makes sense to let God’s Word shape our prayers. Listen to this deep and honest conversation if you want to leave more eager to pray!Mentioned in This Episode:I'm Praying for You: 40 Days of Praying the Bible for Someone Who is SufferingPraying Through the Bible for Your KidsWhat Every Child Should Know About PrayerPiercing Heaven: Prayers of the PuritansRelated Resources:Praying Past Your Preferred OutcomesLet’s Talk: Why We PrayDiscovering How to Pray: Prayer in the PsalmsDiscussion Questions:How would you describe your prayer life in your current season? What keeps you from prayer?What daily needs are you most likely to pray for? Which do you tend to overlook?When has God answered a prayer for you in a unique way? Or how has he helped you persevere in prayer as you wait on his timing?How has God used prayer to align your heart and desires with his own?How often do you incorporate confession into your prayers? How has God blessed this practice? Or what do you think prevents you from engaging with God in this way?How have you been inspired to pray for others in new ways based on what you heard?What change would you like to make in your prayer life as a result of what you’ve heard and discussed together?