The Desi Condition

We chat with Mansi Choksi: Dubai and Mumbai-based journalist, author of "The Newlyweds: Rearranging Marriage in Modern India" and one of the brilliant minds behind NPR's new season of Rough Translation, titled "The Love Commandos." Mansi writes about crime, gender, identity, opportunity and pop-culture and serves as the guest co-host of Love Commandos. Mansi joins us to talk about what happens in the aftermath of when young Indian couples choose to marry for love. Her work on “Love Commandos” draws on years of in-depth reporting in India by NPR correspondent Lauren Frayer and investigations on the enigmatic, controversial figure of Sanjoy Sachdev, founder of non-profit organization The Love Commandos. Mansi also discusses her preconceived notions on love marriage shaped by Bollywood depictions and media portrayals. While doing so, she highlights the stark contrast between her previously held beliefs and what she learns over time to be realistic consequences that South Asian couples face when questioning the stronghold of arranged marriages in India. In our conversation with Mansi, we discuss her book, “The Newlyweds” and have an open and honest discussion about how India is raising a generation with distorted views on their sense of agency in regards to choosing their partners. Mansi's work can be found: mansichoksi.com Instagram: @mansi_choksi NPR's Rough Translations: https://www.npr.org/series/1195777940/rough-translations-love-commandos --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

We interview Neelu Kaur, a seasoned author and leadership expert with 15 years of experience in adult learning. On January 24, 2023, she unveiled her debut book, "Be Your Own Cheerleader: An Asian and South Asian Woman's Cultural, Psychological, and Spiritual Guide to Self-Promote at Work." This book was born from her personal struggles with self-promotion and advocacy in the professional realm. Neelu's story is a compelling one, as she shares her journey as an Indian-born, American-raised South Asian woman. Her life involved navigating two distinct cultures, East and West, throughout her education and early career. She illuminates the sharp contrasts between the values and behaviors surrounding advocacy in a collectivist "We" culture, which often prioritizes others' opinions over one's own, and the individualistic "I" culture prevalent in Corporate America. Neelu's experiences led her to seek alignment and integrate purpose-driven living into every facet of her life. During our conversation with Neelu, we delve into the challenges South Asian women face in learning to advocate for themselves while shedding limiting beliefs and behaviors that may hold them back, offering insights and inspiration for personal growth and empowerment. Neelu can be found: neelukaur.com Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neelukaur Be Your Own Cheerleader, Amazon Instagram: neelu.kaur --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Krishma Tuli Arora: poet, writer, public speaker, and mother. On May 23rd, Krishma debuted her first fiction novel, From Ash to Ashes, inspired by her time of grief following the death of her first-born son. Krishma comes on the show to talk about how she and other members of her family grieved, and how these experiences translated into major themes in her novel (don't worry, there are no spoilers!). Krishma shares how grief affected her marriage and family dynamics. She shares how societal pressure rushed her into motherhood while stymieing her path to therapy. She implores the audience to accept accountability for tragedies, when appropriate, and to get help when needed. Krishma can be found: Instagram/TikTok: @krishmawrites Website: www.krishmatuliarora.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Did you ever dream about finding love like in the movies? What would that actually look like? In this episode, Tanushree and guest Ragini Jha (mental health counselor and podcaster for Open Minds) ponder how South Asian and Western media affects the way women operate and exist within romantic relationships. We discuss how media portrayal of romance can be often toxic and fantastical. In regards to heterosecual pairings we question how women's representation in media affects feminism, brainstorming ways for women to be equal stakeholders in their romantic relationships with men. Movies with healthy or nuanced portrayals of relationships: - Kapoor and Sons - Queen - Ajeeb Dastans, specifically the episode "Ankahi" - Thappad - Ok Jaanu Ragini can be found: Instagram @cardamom.counselling Website: www.cardamomcounselling.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Symin Adive, a Bangladeshi born, US raised, and currently Norway based artist, freelance art director, comedienne, and writer, joins us in a conversation about her sensational piece, "I Never Loved My Parents,” published on Bengalis of New York. We talk career, art, legacy, family, friendship, and farts. This episode truly has it all! Symin sheds insight on how her abusive familial origin defines her art and comedy. Symin's work exposes societal issues with relationships. Symin is an observer; her work is a commentary on individualism, traditionalism, hierarchy, inherent competitiveness, sexism, and a whole bunch of other -isms. Thought provoking and poignant, Symin attempts to provide actionable steps to these issues via interactive experiences and education: with pieces such as her series “Notes for a Desi Utopia.” Finally, she shares with us her journey to becoming a multimedia artist, her vision for our future, and the legacy she hopes to leave behind. Symin can be found: IG: @sighmean Website/Portfolio: http://syminadive.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Chicago natives and creators of the new Upside Brown television series Yash Hatkar and Rahul Dhiman sit down with the The Desi Condition's Tanushree and Anu to talk all things men's vulnerability. Men may respond to societal pressures in a number of ways; we explore the many stimuli that shape how men choose to present themselves including friends, family, romance, and careers. We discuss how insecure attachments, lack of communication and unprocessed pain can lead to overcompensation in the form of power trips, and ask the question, "how can men calibrate the need for power?" Yash, Rahul, and Upside Brown can be found: IG, FB, TikTok: @upsidebrownseries YouTube: Upside Brown Rahul Dhiman: @___rahuldhiman___ Yash Hatkar: @yashhotcar --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Bushra Mollick, creator of BD Sex Education, is the elder sister you wish you had growing up. Her web page is a resource for Bengali speaking people for all things sex-ed. What exactly falls under the umbrella of sex education? What kinds of questions do Bengalis need to know about sex education? What's the most shocking? Bushra shares all the bitter truths about sex education in the 'desh. Prepare to be shocked. Link to the BD Sex Education website: https://www.bdsexeducation.com/ Website visits since December 2021 launch: 130,000 Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/BushraApaEdu/ Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/bdsexeducation/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Take all the stereotypes you’ve heard about people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and just throw them out the damn window. Host Tanushree sits with singer-songwriter and actor Vardaan Arora to get a real account of his personal journey with mental health and specifically, OCD. Although OCD looks and feels different for each individual, Vardaan sheds light on the cycle of obsessive thoughts, compulsions, and ritualistic behavior. Calling OCD “the doubting disease” is an apt descriptor; Vardaan opens up about his sense of identity and mental security as a result of the distressing, and sometimes dangerous, nature of ego-dystonic* thought. Finding help for OCD isn’t easy – and Vardaan covers why treatments like talk therapy or an attempt at logicking yourself out of obsessive thoughts only feeds the disorder. Finally, he shares how his OCD has affected his relationships as well as his life and craft as an artist. A longtime mental health advocate, Vardaan has released several tracks on the topic including: “Feel Good Song”, “Obsessive”, “Imposter Syndrome”, “Do You Hate Me?”, and his latest single, “Diamond Tears.” *Ego-dystonic thought refers to impulses, and behaviors that are inconsistent with one’s idea of themselves. They are often felt to be repulsive, upsetting, and unacceptable. NOTE: This episode is only a personal experience. It is not meant to give actual medical advice. If you suspect you or someone you know has symptoms of OCD, always seek advice from a trained, medical professional. Vardaan Arora can be found: Instagram, TikTok, Twitter: @vardaanarora Spotify Apple Music --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Welcome back to The Desi Condition! After a four month hiatus for the summer, we are back with new episodes. This time, Anu and Tanushree speak with horror filmmaker Anisha Savan about her third short film, I'll Never Be Alive Again. Inspired by themes of COVID-related depression, OCD, guilt, and grief, Anisha uses filmmaking to tell the story of a zombie attempting to come back to life. Though fantastical, viewers may find themes of hopelessness and a dystopian future that feels closer than comfort. Moreover, Anisha uses the film to interrogate the question of whether forgiveness is possible after committing the unthinkable. In the second half of the episode, Anisha speaks to her creative journey with filmmaking. She shares personal influences and thoughts on the future of South Asian representation in horror. Anisha can be found: IG: @anishasavan, @neveralive_film Website: anishasavan.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

It is 2015, and Nikhil and Shelly are staying in a quaint cabin in Wisconsin. They had been fighting for some time, and are hoping that this is a chance to rekindle their marriage. But back at the cabin, Shelly encounters her worst nightmare. Nikhil's face turns to stone as he says, "I don't love you anymore. I want a divorce." Shelly enters into hysterics. Divorce proceedings follow. But Nikhil and Shelly's story takes an unexpected twist when Nikhil is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. On this episode, we discuss their mental health journey as a family; sweeping issues under the rug, their marriage falling apart and coming back together, and coming to terms with seeking help. Shelly discusses her ability to separate Nikhil, the person, from his disorder even in the wake of all the hurt she faced. Nikhil shares his journey with his bipolar diagnosis and how Shelly helped him seek treatment. They describe how their kids and parents dealt with the diagnosis and their contentious divorce -- that never actually went through. Together, they weave a story of unwavering faith in the future and in each other. Shelly and Nikhil can be reached: giostarchicago.com shellysood.com Podcast: The Shelly Story Instagram and Twitter: @theshellystory --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Kahaani's Misrepresented founder and podcast host Niki Aggarwal joins Anu and Tanushree at The Desi Condition for a thoughtful conversation on burnout. More specifically, we approach the topic of burnout as a result of the inability to separate identity and career, as it goes for many, and thus learning to take "acountability" for it. We discuss how to distinguish when you need a break versus when you should actually quit. The conversation turns to why some mainstream self-care is actually just capitalism at work, and share personal self-care tactics that actually work. In addition, we discuss the necessity of mitigating guilt (regarding enjoyment, or time spent not working) as a self-care tactic as well as the power of giving yourself choice. We ponder the question of what makes us feel productive, and how can we make self-care part of that feeling of productivity? Niki can be found: kahaani.io Instagram: @kahaani.io Twitter: @kahaani_io Podcast: Misrepresented --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

What happens when you combine a stellar directorial debut and an honest, vulnerable portrayal of South Asian mental health within cinema? You get the incredible new comedy-drama film, Definition Please — directed by and starring the remarkable Sujata Day and equally phenomenal Ritesh Rajan.  In this episode, we chat with Sujata and Ritesh about the importance and impact of South Asian representation within mainstream media to highlight mental health stigma. Sujata and Ritesh speak about their relationship with South Asian identity and how it has shaped their respective paths as storytellers who consistently strive to “create their own table.” We get to learn more about their stories as South Asian artists, and their coming up as professional actors in Hollywood. Equal parts inspiring and insightful, Sujata and Ritesh divulge what can only be interpreted as a responsible, modern take on South Asian representation in creative spaces. Personally, we think their stance is a beautiful, raw example of what we’ve always coined as “The Desi Condition.” Learn more about the motivation behind Definition Please and their plans to continue breaking barriers for South Asian creators. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

"Platonic love is the one we choose. That's why it feels so devastating when we lose it." This episode is a throwback to a fan favorite. First published in March 2019 (pre-pandemic!) and always in TDC history's top five, this episode is a collection of stories about the heartbreak of an ending friendship. Though submissions came from across the country and around the world,  somehow, the stories tie together with common themes such as mental health, family, socioeconomic status, trauma, and expectations, creating a greater narrative on heartbreak that is tragic, yet relatable. Special thanks to Ravi (Ravi Ray Audio), who remastered the episode, and the original guests, who were willing to bravely re-open wounds to provide updates on their story years afterwards. - Tanushree --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Mytrae's story starts as a young adult in the U.S. in the 90's; an Indian graduate student in love with an American man. But her family's expectations catch up to her, and she quickly finds herself forced to give up her dreams, trapped in her family's home under house arrest and enduring abuse. Separated from the world she knew, she finds a way to carve a new path for herself. Now a psychotherapist, author, and healer, Mytrae shares her story. She expounds on life with a narcissistic parent and how it can affect family dynamics. Outlining her journey through multiple abusive situations, she talks about finding strength to identify and leave those situations to find her own path. Perhaps most remarkable, she shares her journey healing trauma through the metaphysical. And at the end of it all, she shared how she was able to find forgiveness from the heart. Connect with Mytrae Meliana: Email: mytrae@mytraemeliana.com www.mytraemeliana.com Facebook Instagram Twitter --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Mrinal Gokhale is the Midwestern-based author of Saaya Unveiled: South Asian Mental Health Spotlighted. In this episode we highlight some of the common themes among the diasporic South Asian mental health stories she highlights in her book; including attitudes towards treatment, parent/guardian reactions, triggers, and much more. Learn more: https://www.amazon.com/Saaya-Unveiled-Mental-Health-Spotlighted-ebook/dp/B092Y9132V --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Code switching (which sounds like some computer science term) is the art of switching off between languages, behaviors, and jargon according to your surrounding environment. It might sound familiar to you, because almost all Desi people use it as an adaptive mechanism! In this episode, I speak with ABC Nightline's Ashan Singh about his experience as a reporyter, and how he is able to use code switching - which often has a negative connotation - as a means of connection. We talk about storytelling and interviewing, and learning to use code switching to be one with our social and professional spheres. We talk about what it means to be American. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

In this episode, Young the Giant's Sameer Gadhia visits The Desi Condition to talk about South Asian identity, the whitewashing of alternative rock, expressing politics in music, his creative process, and on trying to find “home” in America. We start the episode by discussing his disposition as one of the very few South Asian musicians in the alternative rock scene. Sameer reflects on how his background and history as an immigrant has shaped his journey in music and influences his work. He talks about growing up as an "ABCD," without a playbook to navigate the music industry in the mid 2000’s, and on finding his place among artists in the alternative rock genre given the anonymity inherent to it. Using his experiences, he learned to humanize the rhetoric in his music to reach all kinds of people with different points of view. Sameer also discusses his show on Pandora, Point of Origin, (presented by SiriusXM’s ALT Nation & Pandora) in which he aims to spotlight Alternative and Indie Rock musicians of color past, present, and future. He continues to, as always, implore listeners to acknowledge the roots of rock music in people of color. Listen to hear more of his thoughts on the future and possibilities of emerging South Asian culture, social media and “making it” in the industry, and advice for up and coming artists of color. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

What's up bondhus? In this episode we flip the script and interview Tanushree. She talks about why she created The Desi Condition, how she developed the brand, and how it has impacted her life. She also provides career advice, and spills the tea on her wacky dreams. Did you know Tanushree has dreams of throwing a South Asian Woodstock? Tune in to this special episode. New season starts on September 15. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

Tanushree reflects on each episode of Season 3, and takes a look at what’s coming this summer for Season 4, for the podcast and beyond: - New guests, collabs. - The Desi Collaborative, for creative professionals - Lychee, a South Asian diasporic advice column. - Rukus Avenue Radio New episodes coming this September. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support

We’re here to deliver the second installment of our magical and insightful conversation with the legendary Sajeeb Saha, AKA Jai Wolf! In this episode, Sajeeb dives into everything from his musical influences and inspiration, to the story behind the name Jai Wolf. He provides insight into his creative process, describing one that pulls from many different worlds and experiences to evoke intense emotions and to produce music with movie-inspired theatricality. He also explains how he tries to make his live shows authentically him, placing an emphasis on world-building. He largely credits creative genius and hip-hop visionary Kanye West for his 808s-era visceral and undeniable originality as influential to his music. Sajeeb recounts his love for Graduation and even credits Kanye-inspired beats and synth patterns as being emulated in his track, “Indian Summer.” The conversation takes an amusing turn as Tanushree, and Ravi ask Sajeeb fun questions about his Bengali heritage, cats, and goals for the future. Sajeeb fondly reminisces how fate led him to become a full-time cat dad in 2020. The episode ends with Sajeeb offering words of advice to South Asian creatives attempting to find their way out of adversity and/or to find motivation. If you enjoyed our last installment, you won’t want to miss this dreamy and delightful second half! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-desi-condition/support