The Dildorks

Happy holidays to those celebrating! We’re discussing objectification kink again this week, through a seasonal lens. Holiday Stress | Giving People as Gifts | Sex Coupons & Cards | Re-Focusing | Manhandling | Bored & Ignored | Sexualizing vs. Objectifying | Previous Holiday Episodes (1, 2, 3) Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What does it mean to be ‘objectified’ in a kink scene, and how is that different from the other, less-hot ways one can be objectified? This week we’re discussing the nuances of this complex kink. Nonconsensual Objectification | Marginalization & Trust | Just a Hole | Empathy | What’s Hot About It? | Quiet Mind | Authentic Desire | The New Topping Book | Favorite Object | Praise | Environment & Vibe | Distraction Play | Glory Holes | Objectifying Doms | 101 Kinky Things Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we dive deeper into kinky-on-vanilla relationships, discussing how to tell if someone might be vanilla, how to explore kink outside of a newly-opened relationship, and whether fantasy and porn can be good substitutes for IRL kink. Language & CBT | How to Spot Vanillas | Kinky Flirting | In Love With a Vanilla Person | Opening the Relationship | Polyamorous Kinksters | Fantasy & Porn | Basic Skillset | SIMMER Negotiation Guide | “Maybe Later” | “Read This, Please!” Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Can a kinkster be truly satisfied dating a vanilla person, and vice-versa? This week we discuss bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners! Dating Apps | Time & Place | Kinky Linguistic Cues | Defining “Vanilla” | Sexual Hobbyism | Our Experiences with Vanilla People | Willing vs. Want | Explaining Why | Rejecting Vanillas | Don’t Settle | Beginner-Friendly Resources | 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do | Why Are People Into That? | The New Topping Book + The New Bottoming Book Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Can it be romantic to get spanked, stepped on, and bossed around? Absolutely! This week, Billy interviews Kate about how her submissiveness is deeply entangled with her romantic desires. Depth & Vulnerability | Are They Linked? | Intrinsic Desire & Earnest Belief | Submissive Romantic Desire | You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For | Being Seen | Masochism | Kinksters’ Communication | Self-Assuredness | Romantic Aesthetics | Falling Into Subspace | Admiration & Respect | Girl on the Net Post | Empty Praise | Romance Kink | Against Chill | Tricked Into Feelings | Incompatibility Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we’ve got a whole new batch of interesting fetishes from Reddit to discuss, from trees to heavy metal music to illusionists. Making Them Work For It | Dendrophilia (Tree Sex) | Ecosexuality | Salon Capes | Sawed in Half | Organs | Elmer’s Glue | Paramedics | Heavy Metal | Moshing | Pool Table Cunnilingus | 101 Kinky Things Audiobook Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What is self-confidence and why does it matter? This week, we’re unpacking what it means to feel confident, why it’s hot, and how to cultivate it. Fake It Til You Make It | Contextual Confidence | Being Bad At Things | Perception vs. Feeling | Self-Deprecation | Self-Knowledge | Boundaries | What It Feels Like | Certainty | Competence | You Are Someone’s Favorite Flavor | Values | Why It's Hot | Emotional Labor | Submissives | Subby Flirting Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we continue our discussion of heterosexual culture, discussing straight wedding traditions, gender reveal parties, the kinkification of straight gender roles, and more. Clear Communication | Power Imbalance | Come Together | Different Playbooks | Wedding Traditions | Happily Ever After | Gender Reveal Parties | Celebration | Kinkifying Straight Roles | Formative Fears | Unnegotiated Kink | Differing Desires | Straight Kinksters | Straight vs. Queer Flirting | Nonbinary Straight People Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

To celebrate Halloween, this week we’re discussing some of the scarier aspects of heterosexual culture! Dating Straight People | Not Gay | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Does Straightness Exist? | Cultural Differences | Default Script | Anti-Pleasure Pressures | How to Do Nothing | Mono-Normativity | Media Models | Combativeness | “Hall Passes” | Opposite-Sex Friendships | Love, Inc. | Gendered Socialization | Dr. NerdLove | Lube Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Regularly-scheduled “check-in” conversations are one way to keep a relationship strong – so this week, we discuss our favorite ways of checking in, and how we manage anxiety that may come up around it. As-Needed vs. Regularly Scheduled | Solutions vs. Breakups | “Ruining the Vibe” | Us vs. the Problem (The Monster Under the Bed) | Managing Anxiety & Avoidance | Check-In Card Deck | Positive Reinforcement | Defamiliarization | Not a Bad Sign | The “Why” | When Not to Check In | When to Take a Break | Good Questions | Sex & D/s | Upcoming Plans | Ask Me About… | Aftercare | How to Do Nothing Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, Kate and mb interview the brilliant Tuck Woodstock, host of the Gender Reveal podcast and co-editor of the hilarious new anthology Sex Change and the City! We couldn’t help but wonder: Does Sex and the City ‘hold up’ for modern viewers, especially queer and trans ones? Which Character Are You? | Which Character Is Trans? | Why SatC? | 2 Trans 2 Furious | Watching SatC Now | Queer & Trans Contributors | Grant & Mutual Aid Programs | Nonbinary Representation | Che Diaz & Rock Goldenblatt | Sub4Sub & Top4Top | Erotica | Advice on Publishing | mb’s Bus Tour | Straight People Zoos | STI Testing | ADHD Jazz Bassist | The Bisexual Episode | Tokenism | Book Tour | Non-Canon Ships | Sex Change and the City Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

How has our relationship to service kink changed as we’ve gotten older, done more therapy, and moved in with our partners? This week we discuss our currently thoughts and feelings on service. Identity? | Feeling Useful & Impressive | Work & Resentment | Tradwives vs. Kinksters | Living Together | Cocktail Genders | Majordomo Duties | Praise & Acknowledgment | Dream Scenes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

People believe all kinds of nonsense about anal play, so this week we’re busting myths about butt stuff.Makes You Gay | Homophobe Ick | (Un)Natural? | Masculinity | “Sides” | Pain & Numbing | Sphincters | Permanent Damage | Pregnancy | Loophole | Good Feminist | Tops Should Bottom | Always Up For It | Shit Happens Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Are some sexual labels more cringe than others? Do our public labels differ from our private ones? And what’s up with people who don’t think we should use labels at all? This week, we’re continuing to dive deep on sex & gender identity labels. Tired & Old | “I Don’t Like Labels” | “Cringe” Identities | Gynosexual | Bicurious | Sapiosexual | Public vs. Private Identities | Letting Go of Labels | Labels vs. Diagnoses | Validation & Affirmation | Beyond Clothing | Walking Like John Wayne Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

When it comes to sex and gender, labels can be helpful and affirming, but they can also be limiting and divisive. This week, we discuss our own labels, and what we think they achieve for us. The Purpose(s) of Labels | Identity Affirmation | Internal vs. External Benefits | Bisexual | Queer | Pansexual | Sexuality vs. Gender | Queer Femme | Trans F*g | Reclaiming Slurs | Outsider | Coming Out Many Times Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way!What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event. Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both. Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We always love learning about interesting fetishes, and this week we’ve got a bunch of juicy ones to discuss, from bomb-shaped women to pig-shaped men. Explodey Babes | Bi Confusion | Pig Transformation | Sperm Bank Muff Dive | Tongue Fetish | Ties & Ties | Theme Nights | Quitting Smoking Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Watching movies and TV shows with a partner can be surprisingly bonding and eye-opening! This week we discuss the ways our relationships have benefited from enjoying media with partners. Talking During Movies | Inside Jokes | Disconnection vs. Intimacy | Conversation-Starters | Complexity & Nuance | Choosing Movies | The Birdcage | Content Notes vs. No Spoilers | Art vs. Escapism | The Room | Same Time, Next Year | Eyes Wide Shut | With Love and a Major Organ Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.