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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Author: Kate Anthony, CPCC

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On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go?
Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.
122 Episodes
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I am joined this week by Dr. Shyamala, Podcast Host, Media Expert for National T.V., and founder of The EQ Code, a coaching program for high-performing women who are ready to transform their relationships, so they can execute on their mission at a whole new level. Dr. Shyamala and I geeked out on emotional intelligence, communication styles, and the importance of focusing on the deep work needed in order to get the relationship transformation you desire.  We also talk about how to show up with courage and integrity in your life. Show Highlights Dr. Shyamala helps high-performing women with relationship transformation - she describes her work and what attributes a high-performing woman has. (3:02) Reprogramming your brain and why it is important as a framework for change. (7:56) We know that children are incredibly resilient when it comes to separation and divorce - but what we need to really be aware of is when children are raised inside a home where there are toxic relationship templates being played out. (11:56) Most methods of change fail because most of them are behaviorally centered. (15:22) How to embody a level of transformation in order to live life fully and unapologetically. (21:47) Why toxic positivity is damaging, feeds on our insecurities, and also creates more of them. (26:13) How to Identify beliefs that have been plaguing you for a lifetime. (28:47) Most of us struggle in our relationships because we were never taught to be in one. (32:46) Communication skills become the bridge to relationship management. (36:48) You cannot have a boundary without assertive communication. (37:12) Showing up with courage and integrity in your relationships has nothing to do with the outcome. (45:07) When we are acting out of alignment with our values, integrity, and courage - we become resentment machines. (45:50) Learn More About Dr. Shyamala: Dr. Shyamala is a Clinically-trained Relationship Strategist and has spent the last two decades helping women improve the quality of their lives by transforming their relationships. Her mission is to help women show up as their best self, in every arena of their life. She is the founder of The EQ Code, a high-touch coaching program designed to help high-performing women transform their relationships, so they can execute on their mission at a whole new level.  Shyamala is also the founder of the Kiru Psychotherapy Clinic, a mental health practice dedicated to the entire family system. She spent several years on the Board of Directors for the Ontario Association for Marriage & Family Therapy.   As a speaker, Shyamala provides frequent talks and workshops on a local, national and international scale. Shyamala is a media expert, having appeared on a national television show for nearly a decade and makes guest appearances on CTV, CP24 as well as frequent pieces of print media.  Resources & Links: Dr. Shyamala's website: https://andreaowen.krtra.com/t/R8OAmzFe6aCp Dr. Shyamala's on Instagram: http://instagram.com/dr.shyamalakiru Dr. Shyamala's Facebook Group - The EQ Club: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theeqlab Free 5-day Bootcamp opt-in: Free 5-day intensive: Unlock the Success Habits of High Powered Women: https://pages.shyamalakiru.com/free-event/ TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:THE CENTER FOR DIVORCE EDUCATION https://divorce-education.com/ The Center for Divorce Education is an organization that provides separated parents with the tools and techniques necessary to navigate the difficult task of being a co-parent. They currently offer an online parenting class called Children in Between. Anyone who is co-parenting can benefit from the class. Visit the link above to learn more. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/  
Our society has conditioned us to think that money is gendered and that men are more competent when it comes to matters of money. Further, society tells us that women, because we're “nurturing or caretaking” are not strong enough to handle money. Amanda Steinberg joins me to turn that idea on its head, talk about women’s financial empowerment, and share a roadmap so you can become financially free.  Amanda’s founded multiple businesses in finance, media, and politics. In 2009, she founded DailyWorth, a startup focused on women’s financial independence and grew its audience and email list to 1.2M email subscribers.  I believe you’ll get a lot from our conversation. But if there is one thing you gain from this episode, I hope it’s this: your thoughts and feelings of powerlessness about money are not your fault. As Amanda shares in this episode, “You were socially conditioned to think that you're bad with money. That is how everyone got to continuously take advantage of you for most of your life. And honestly, how you also got rewarded and praised for being a good girl. So don't beat yourself up.” Phew. What a relief, right? Show Highlights What led Amanda to create a company that focuses on women’s financial independence. (5:26) Amanda shares her own story around money, which started at the age of six. (6:43) We have collective money stories and then we have individual stories. (9:21) Amanda’s thoughts on her vision for men and women during this time of change in which we are liberated from these preconceived notions of who we are supposed to be. (13:57) Busting the cultural myth that men are providers and women are caretakers. (15:00) Financial advice for women going through divorce. (16:56) Amanda created DailyWorth because she wanted to connect women's self-worth to their net worth. (18:29) A women’s roadmap to financial independence. (39:17) Learn More About Amanda: Amanda’s founded multiple businesses in finance, media, and politics. In 2009, she founded DailyWorth, a startup focused on women’s financial independence and grew its audience and email list to 1.2M email subscribers. After DailyWorth was acquired, she moved into politics as the lead digital fundraiser for Marianne Williamson for President. Today she's the Cofounder of HigherU, a digital training company for social impact entrepreneurs. She lives in Philadelphia with her partner, 2 children, 2 stepchildren, and 2 large Maine Coon cats. Resources & Links: HigherU Amanda on Twitter Amanda on Facebook Amanda on Instagram JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
This week I am busting divorce myths with my guest, Eric Broder. Eric is a divorce and family attorney,   and co-founding member and partner at Broder Orland Murray &DeMattie LLC.  In this episode, Eric and I bust myths about no-fault law, modern parenting agreements, assets, and whether or not getting a job will impact your divorce settlement. That’s just some of what we discuss — we cover a lot of ground!  When it comes to divorce advice, everyone has an opinion. In fact, there may be things you have heard or even believed about divorce that aren’t actually true. One of the biggest lessons we uncover in this episode is this: “Don’t get your divorce advice from cocktail talk. Instead, consult with an attorney.”  But first, listen to this podcast episode!! Show Highlights We get right to it and begin busting myths about alimony. (3:47) The importance of consulting with an attorney within your state. (6:28) Myths surrounding no-fault law. For example, fault in some states can matter. (6:57) For stay at home moms, will getting a job prior to divorce impact your settlement? Eric shares his thoughts. (13:43) Eric answers, “Are assets always divided equally?” (17:49) Prenups: what people think they are versus what they actually are. (21:01) The truth about joint custody, full parenting time, and other parenting plans. (28:52) Myths about abandonment of property and moving out prior to divorce. (38:48) Learn More About Eric: Eric is a co-founding member and partner at Broder Orland Murray &DeMattie LLC. He is an AV Preeminent™rated attorney by MartindaleHubbell®, the highest possible rating in both legal ability and ethical standards, earned through a strenuous pier and judicial review procedure. He has also been designated a “Top Lawyer” in Family Law, Matrimonial, Arbitration, and Mediation in Westport, Greenwich, NewCanaan/Darien, and Fairfield Magazines. Eric has been selected as a Connecticut Super Lawyers®in Family Law each year from 2013 to 2020.Each year no more than 5% of the lawyers in the state are selected to receive this honor. Eric’s AVVO™rating is 10 out of 10. Resources & Links: Eric’s website: Broder Orland Murray &DeMattie LLC Our Happy Divorce Weekly Live Stream with Ben Heldfond, Kate Anthony, and Susan Guthrie: Every Monday at 5pm ET/2pm PT - Join us! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
In many states, courts mandate divorcing parents to take a co-parenting class. And as we often discuss in my Facebook group, many parents leave these court-mandated classes traumatized because the very first thing they teach is that divorce is terrible for your children.  While the research doesn’t support this being true (and you’d think educators in this arena would, you know, read the research), what’s worse is that this is often the very last thing parents who’ve gone through a long and difficult process have to do before finalizing their divorce — and this is what they’re being told?? In response to these types of mandated courses, Dr. Don Gordon has created a program for parents and co-parents that is skill-based, takes a non-shaming approach to co-parenting, and is actually helpful.  Dr. Gordon joins me this week to talk about the Center for Divorce Education’s, Children in Between program. He is Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Center for Divorce Education and has over 40+ years of experience as a clinical psychologist and researcher targeting the reduction and prevention of juvenile delinquency. During our conversation, he also shares some of the most important skills co-parents need to use with each other before, during, and after divorce.   “If you are going to go to a parenting class - the point of it is to have better ways of parenting and co-parenting so your behavior changes and improves.” Dr. Don Gordon, PhD Show Highlights How Dr. Gordon learned about the difficulties children experience as a result of divorce and created a course based on his findings. (4:55) One of the most damaging aspects of divorce on children is when parents involve their children in loyalty conflicts. (7:46) Your point of view isn’t necessarily in the best interest of your children. (11:54) The trauma of taking court-mandated courses. (13:55) The most important skills co-parents need to use with each other. (17:38) When you take a step back, you have a chance at controlling what you are putting out. (26:38) For someone who is looking to improve their co-parenting skills and their ex is not reciprocal in their action - what can one do? Remember, YOU are being a role model for your children and that is one of the best reasons to make these changes. (28:40) How parents can take the Center for Divorce Education’s Children in Between program for court-mandated requirements. (41:50) CDE’s High Conflict Solutions program. (45:39) Learn More About Dr. Gordon: Don Gordon is a Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Center for Divorce Education. Dr. Gordon is a 40+ year clinical psychologist and researcher with an area of expertise targeting the reduction and prevention of juvenile delinquency. During his 40 years of working with families, Dr. Gordon has studied the effects that different strategies have on reducing conflict within a family (both with parents and children). In the early 1980’s Dr. Gordon and his colleague Dr. Jack Arbothnot developed the Children in Between curriculum (formerly known as Children in the Middle) which is designed specifically to help change the behaviors of divorcing/separating parents who unknowingly place their children in the middle of their conflict, resulting in the most harmful of consequences which often lead to youth acting out in negative ways. For more than 20 years, Dr. Gordon has been providing parenting and co-parenting curricula that is skills-based, allowing families to take away from each course concrete, actionable steps that can be turned into behavior-changing habits. These results improve the lives of parents, their children, and their family unit overall. Through CDE, Dr. Gordon continues to pursue research that challenges his own assumptions and strives to find best practices that continue to (a) help families reduce their conflict, and (b) help courts by providing families with tools that are proven to shift re-litigation rates and improve communication and interaction. Resources & Links:Center for Divorce EducationCenter for Divorce Education on FacebookThe Good Karma Divorce, Michelle Lowrance TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:THE CENTER FOR DIVORCE EDUCATION The Center for Divorce Education is an organization that provides separated parents with the tools and techniques necessary to navigate the difficult task of being a co-parent. They currently offer an online parenting class called Children in Between. Anyone who is co-parenting can benefit from the class. Visit the link above to learn more. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
Dr. Shefali, an expert in family dynamics and personal development and NY Times Best-selling author, joins me this week to talk about how to radically awaken yourself from the fear-based patterns women have been raised into and instead embrace our truths and live free.  We explore many of the glitches in psychological armor that keep women from daring to speak up. Dr. Shefali also helps us to understand why we are giving up our power every day of our lives—to food, to self-loathing, or to other people. As Dr. Shefali says, “If we don’t see it and name it, we will forever be devoured by it.” Show Highlights A radical awakening to cultural conditioning women have been raised into. (5:57) The childhood abduction of our authentic self. (8:40) Why women are prone to living on a hamster wheel of life and how to stand in the power of your worth instead. (13:38) The tug of war between listening to our inner being versus what culture expects us to be. (17:20) How to get to a place of radical awakening—there is no shame in asking for help. (22:22) Why it is important to break the image of being good, perfect, superwomen. Baring our truth shouldn’t be a maverick move. Being ordinary/average is good. (24:05) The lies about love, marriage, and divorce.  (29:49) What Dr. Shefali means when she says, “Your ego can be betrayed but your essence cannot be.” (31:53) Women have been culturally trained to doubt themselves. We explore how self-doubt gets in the way of deciding whether you should stay or go. (34:37) Learn More About Dr. Shefali: Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, she brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. She has written four books, three of which are New York Times best-sellers, including her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family.  Oprah has endorsed her work as revolutionary and life-changing. Dr. Shefali’s ground-breaking approach to mindful living and parenting has taken her books to the top of the NY Times best-sellers list. Her blend of clinical psychology and eastern mindfulness sets her apart as a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology.  As an international speaker, she speaks at events around the globe, spreading her message of conscious parenting and mindful living. She also has a private practice where she consults with families and couples.  Resources & Links: Dr. Shefali's website Dr. Shefali on Facebook Dr. Shefali on Instagram @doctorshefali A Radical Awakening - Deep Dive TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
We are so conditioned to expect that Prince Charming will show up on his white horse and deliver us radical intimacy; he will sweep us off our feet and the rest is history. Let’s be real - that's just not how intimacy works.  In fact, as Zoë Kors, a sought-after thought leader on intimacy and sexuality, says  “We are not taught these [intimacy] skills. We are programmed to believe passion, sex, and love happen spontaneously.” Zoë joins me to discuss how to cultivate radical intimacy within ourselves and explore why we expect and often demand something from others we don’t know how to give to ourselves.  We tend to think intimacy is something that requires a lover, but radical intimacy is a rich experience of yourself; and as a result, it allows you to have a rich experience with someone else. Tune in to hear how to embrace a radically intimate life. Show Highlights What Zoe means when she uses the term ‘radical intimacy’. (3:38) Cultivating intimacy and the three areas of intimacy: physical, emotional, and energetic. (7:19) Energetic intimacy and the emotional attachment myth - women believe they are, by nature, are emotionally attached to the people they have sex with. (10:30) Some habits and actions we do disconnect us from our bodies. (21:46) Three ways we run away from pain and feel discomfort: denial, distraction, and deflection. (24:11) Coming out of a marriage is an opportunity to heal and take back your sovereignty. (36:57) The paths of sexual healing and finding safety in your own body. (40:01) How to reignite sexual intimacy within relationships. (42:04) Learn More About Zoë: Zoë is the resident sex and intimacy coach and contributor at Coral, sexual wellness app. Zoë is the former Senior Editor and Creative Director of LA Yoga Magazine. Zoë’s article, 6 Ways to Have Radically Intimate Sex, quickly went viral and is currently at over 2 million views and over 250K Facebook shares.  In addition to a thriving private practice, Zoë offers her services through the Center for Relational Healing, which specializes in the treatment of sex addicts and their partners. As a team member, Zoë works with clients to reintroduce healthy sexuality and intimacy after the trauma of betrayal.    She is a certified Co-Active Coach with the prestigious Co-Active Training Institute in San Rafael, CA. Zoë is initiated in the Sri Vidya tantra lineage. Her work reflects her extensive study of Tantra, Zen Buddhism, Meditation, Yoga, Breathwork, and other Eastern disciplines, which she integrates with more process-oriented modalities of Western psychotherapy and Co-Active Coaching. Resources & Links: Zoe’s websiteZoe on Instagram FREE download from Zoe: 21 Days to Mind-blowing Sex JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
In 2012, my guest, Sara Olsher, packed up her 18-month old daughter, left her marriage, and after four years of intense personal growth, founded a company that sells amazing resources for co-parents and their children. Whether it’s divorce, cancer, death, or any other uncertainty, Sara has worked hard to be comfortable with the profoundly uncomfortable through her company Mighty + Bright. Much of what we discuss in this episode is about how to help our children through a hard situation and ease their anxiety. Because honestly, most kids simply want to know that you’re going to be okay, and want to know how divorce is going to affect them. As  Sara reminds us, “You’re raising resilient kids. This [divorce] is a really hard thing to go through, but every challenge that we have makes us more resilient and that’s true for your kids too. They have your support through it and you’re helping them to be stronger people.” Show Highlights Sara shares the story of her path towards healing after divorce led her into the world of child psychology and into the way that kids’ brains work. (7:45) The inspiration for her first product, a magnetic co-parenting calendar for separation + divorce. (9:58) Sara’s breast cancer diagnosis and the creation of a book about talking to children about cancer. (11:01) How her calendars and books help children get answers to unresolved questions, ease tension, and help them with executive functioning. (17:18)   Learn More About Sara: As a writer, illustrator, and speaker, Sara spends her life creating products to help kids through really hard things at Mighty + Bright, and talking about stuff that makes many people want to crawl into a deep, dark hole. Whether it is divorce, cancer, death, or uncertainty, she has worked hard to be comfortable with the profoundly uncomfortable. Her work has been featured in POPSUGAR, Reader’s Digest, the Mighty, and Good Housekeeping, to name a few, and she has spoken in front of audiences large and small about her experience making major life changes after divorce and cancer. She truly believes that everyone has the strength and resilience to overcome unimaginable hardship and use those lessons to make this world a much better place. Resources & Links: Mighty + Bright website Sara’s website Sara on Instagram Mighty + Bright on Instagram JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
Many of the women I work with, at some point, have stated that all they wanted in their relationship was to feel understood. As this week’s guest, Mira Kirshenbaum (author of the seminal book, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay) states in her book, Why Couples Fight, “Feeling understood is the orgasm of intimacy.”  Mira joins me to talk about the ways in which couples can end conflict, frustration, and resentment in their relationships. Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families, and individuals. Show Highlights Unmet needs and the pursuit of getting your needs met. (9:52) “Power is the nightmare of love.” We have at least 101 ways we make our partner feel disempowered. (17:04) The Eight Core Experiences of Love and why we must protect, maintain, and nourish all eight of them. “Love without affection is like food without flavor.” (18:20) The 1-2-3 method - a 3-step process for resolving conflict in any relationship - sets couples up so they are both satisfied. (27:41) How to get your needs met with someone who is addicted to conflict. (35:36) Some ways you can provide feedback in a healthy manner. (37:30) What a power move is and why people use them. (39:19) Learn More About Mira: Mira Kirshenbaum is the author of eleven books—including the influential Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; Parent-Teen Breakthrough; Everything Happens for a Reason; and The Weekend Marriage— that have been translated into over twenty languages, and she is a two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award.    Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals. She has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. She has appeared on 20/20, Today, and CBS Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in O, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping.  Resources & Links: Mira's website Mira on Facebook Mira on Twitter JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
Dr. Elizabeth Cohen is CEO and Founder of the online divorce course and membership, Afterglow: the Light on The Other Side of Divorce. She is also the author of the book, “Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You,” which is a phenomenal book about how to grow and thrive after divorce.  She joins me this week to discuss aspects of her book, including the need for processing your emotions. Because, love, you need to allow yourself to feel. We also talk about how divorce is trauma. As Dr. Cohen so eloquently stated,  “We hold trauma in our body and divorce is a trauma.  We need to allow the movement of this energy, this fight response through us. We need to in order to be a better parent, to be a better partner, to whoever we work with, to be a better citizen in this world.” Show Highlights Challenging assumptions about divorce, because even in 2021, there is still a stigma about it. (6:08) You have every reason to feel ALL of your feelings. (16:18) So, what are some ways you can express anger? Dr. Cohen shares some ideas. (17:26) Divorce, trauma, and how it affects your entire body.  (22:41) How self-doubt, inner-critic, and dissociation all make it hard to decide whether you should stay or you should go. (27:53) There's no wrong way to go through this process. If you're working with someone and they're telling you; there's a right way and a wrong way, then they're not your person. (29:43) Dr. Cohen shares about her relationship pattern excavator. (31:20) Working through the grief and loss of your marriage is a process. “It’s unpeeling and dealing with the loss over time.” (36:00) Learn More About Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist. She is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce and the CEO of the Center for CBT in NYC. Dr. Cohen’s online course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen offers a monthly membership program to provide 1:1 coaching, expert support from divorce professionals, and an engaged community of like-minded people.  Dr. Cohen received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her research on the emotional effects of 9/11.  She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal,  NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast, and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column. Dr. Cohen hosts the Divorce Doctor podcast where she interviews people about their divorce experiences. Dr. Cohen’s book based on her Afterglow program entitled, Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You will be published in April 2021.  Resources & Links: Dr. Cohen’s book Dr. Cohen’s website Dr. Cohen on FacebookThe Thrive Fund TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
So, you and your spouse have decided to divorce. You’re now faced with the responsibility of telling your kids. Unfortunately, there is no script for breaking the news to them. This week, I am bringing back my friend and colleague Christina McGhee to walk listeners through the very nuanced step-by-step process of telling your children you’re getting a divorce.   You and your ex are going to be co-parenting for the rest of your lives. Telling your children you’re getting divorced is the first step in parenting apart.   “You can’t take the hurt away. It is going to be hard. How you handle the hard parts is what makes a huge difference for your kids.” Christina McGhee Show Highlights First and foremost, you don’t want to prematurely tell your children you are divorcing. (3:26) Instead, the most important thing is to have a plan - be thoughtful about what you say and when you plan to say it. (4:00) Christina’s thoughts on telling your children you are only separating and then tell them you are getting a divorce at some point in the future. (6:41) Not a one-off conversation, but a series of conversations. (7:42) What do you say - what kind of information do you and don’t you provide. (11:09) Why it is important to make a distinction between romantic love versus love for your children. (16:52) When is it “easiest” for children to hear that you are getting a divorce? Hint: there is never an easy time. (19:01) As a parent, you need to responsibly manage your emotions. Plus, how to plan the conversation if you (or your spouse) is an emotionally vulnerable parent. (26:35) Curbing the desire to share your version of the truth with your kids. Mitigate this action by putting children at the center. (31:09) Learn More About Christina: Christina McGhee is a “media savvy” divorce-parenting expert whose practical advice has been highlighted both online and in print.  Over the years, she has been featured on television, radio, podcasts, tele-summits, and webinars. Some of the places you may have seen her are Today Parents, Parenting Magazine, The Times, Channel 4, the BBC, NYU Doctor Radio, and The Dr. Laura Berman Radio Show on the Oprah Network just to name a few. Christina is an informative and engaging guest who brings insight and strategies to help separating families deal with “real-life” challenges.  As a zealous advocate for children, she does an excellent job of keeping the focus where it belongs…on kids. Christina speaks on a wide range of topics from what to do in the beginning stages of separation to dealing with issues years down the road.  She is also skilled at addressing tough issues like discipline differences, dealing with a difficult ex, high-conflict personalities, badmouthing, and neutralizing divorce drama. Resources & Links: Christina’s website Christina on LinkedIn Christina on Facebook Christina on Instagram Christina’s previous appearance on The Divorce Survival GuideEllen Bruno about her movie Split, on The Divorce Survival GuideThe Thrive Fund
This week, I’m sharing the conversation I had with Ellen Bruno about her film, Split. Split is an incredible film for kids of divorce and their parents.  It is simple in its presentation, but poignant. Split is a deeply personal film that explores the effects of divorce on children, from the child’s perspective. The movie allows children to speak the powerful truth of what is on their minds and in their hearts. Show Highlights What inspired Ellen to create a child-centered film about divorce. (5:53) How the film can be used as a tool for children and co-parents alike. (12:11) Mediators, family advisors, and court systems are also utilizing the film as a resource. Viewing it before mediation sessions help turn parents’ attention away from their anger and experiences, and instead towards their children, instead. (19:03) The production of Split 2 and what Ellen learned as she revisited 11 of the 12 children she interviewed originally. (25:07) Learn More About Ellen: Ellen Bruno is an award-winning documentary filmmaker based in San Francisco. With a background in international relief work, Ellen’s films have focused on issues at the forefront of human rights, including sex trafficking in Burma, political prisoners in Tibet, the social alienation of people with leprosy, and genocide in Cambodia. Ellen earned an MA in Film at Stanford University. She is a recipient of Guggenheim and Rockefeller Fellowships, a Goldie Award for Outstanding Artists, an Alpert Award for the Arts, an Anonymous Was A Woman Award for the Arts, and was an Artist-in-Residence at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. Ellen serves on the board of the International Buddhist Film Festival, the Pacific Pioneer Fund, and Ethical Traveler. Resources & Links: Split’s website Split on FacebookThe Thrive Fund TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:THE CENTER FOR DIVORCE EDUCATION The Center for Divorce Education is an organization that provides separated parents with the tools and techniques necessary to navigate the difficult task of being a co-parent. They currently offer an online parenting class called Children in Between. Anyone who is co-parenting can benefit from the class. Visit the link above to learn more. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
This week I get to share my interview with activist documentary filmmaker, Ginger Gentile. Ginger is the filmmaker of a movie I think is super important for everyone to see, called Erasing Family.  Erasing Family is a film about parental alienation, but it's also an exposé of the family court system and gives really important information about why we need to stay as far away from court as possible during divorce. Many people ask, "What's the first thing I should do when I decide to divorce?" And my answer is always, "Educate yourself." Ginger’s film is a great way to begin to do that. Show Highlights The inspiration for Ginger’s documentary, Erasing Family. (2:59) Some of the characteristics of parental alienation: such as love is not unconditional, instead, it’s conditional and it is not a gender issue. (10:06) The damaging messages children receive from parental alienation. (15:39) Why family court is NOT the proper venue to decide custody. (30:35) The importance of shared parenting. (34:18) How to approach reunification after parental alienation. (48:18) Learn More About Ginger: Ginger Gentile is an activist documentary filmmaker dedicated to addressing ignored issues and shedding light on solutions. With her documentary ERASING FAMILY which premiered at Lincoln Center in 2019 she exposed the trauma children suffer when a loving parent is erased by the divorce courts, a problem that affects over 22 million families in the US alone. Ginger crowdfunded over $430,000 for the film. Resources & Links: Erasing FamilyErasing Family on Facebook Erasing Family on Twitter Erasing Family on Instagram Erasing Family on YouTube TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
This week, I am talking with Dr. Elizabeth Jeglic about sexual coercion. We discuss how it shows up in relationships and what a woman can do if she is a victim. Dr. Jeglic is an internationally renowned expert speaker, author, and researcher on topics related to sexual violence prevention and sex offender public policy. She is also a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology, and author of Protecting Your Child from Sexual Abuse: What You Need to Know to Keep Your Kids Safe.  My hope is that through this episode, you can begin to understand that your partner should want you to be an active and willing participant in any sexual behavior. The feelings should be mutual, and sex should not be forced on you.  Show Highlights Dr. Jeglic helps us to understand what sexual coercion is and what it is not. (3:13) Whether you're in a marriage, a dating relationship, or meet a stranger at a party, if you are not able to give consent, it’s rape. (4:58) The impact of our vision around our own sexuality. (7:28) The power of choice comes down to you, your values, and what you consent to. (14:42) Some ways in which sexual coercion shows up in relationships. (15:53) Examples of sexual scripts that show up within society, media, and the entertainment industry. (21:00) It is our responsibility to teach our children what a consensual relationship looks like, how you get consent, and what affirmative consent looks like. (22:32) If you are experiencing sexual coercion in your marriage or have, Dr. Jeglic offers some advice on what to do next. (27:23) How we can teach our children to have healthy, sexual relationships. (30:25) Learn More About Dr. Elizabeth Jeglic: Dr. Elizabeth L. Jeglic is an internationally renowned expert, speaker, author, and researcher on topics related to Sexual Violence Prevention and Sex Offender Public Policy.  She is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York.  She is the author of Protecting your Child from Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence: Evidence-Based Policy and Prevention.  Dr. Jeglic has published over 130 articles and book chapters and is an Associate Editor of the Journal Sexual Abuse. Dr. Jeglic's work is frequently quoted in the media, she is a nationally recognized public speaker and has been awarded the Fay Honey Knopp Award for her work preventing sexual violence. Resources & Links:Dr. Jeglic’s website Dr. Jeglic on Twitter  Dr. Jeglic on Facebook  Dr. Jeglic on LinkedIn Protecting Your Child From Sexual Abuse: What You Need to Know to Keep Your Kids Safe DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Toxic Relationships and Abuse in Faith-Based Communities with Sarah McDugalShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook GroupThe Thrive Fund
This week I am continuing my podcast mini-series on abuse (which isn’t so mini, after all). Joining me to discuss faith-based toxic relationships is Sarah McDugal. Sarah is a speaker, trainer, and abuse recovery coach who works exclusively with women wounded by toxic relationships in the faith community. There are various forms of abuse that can take place within a faith community. One scenario is the church as the abuser. Another often seen is using the church as a weapon of abuse. Sarah joins me to discuss how abuse shows up within the church and what we can do to change the narrative.  While this episode deals with abuse within the faith community, Sarah makes a poignant statement about the purpose of her teachings, “My first desire is to call the faith community to be humble enough, to recognize where we failed, so that we can rebuild and we can change it. Second, if you are a woman, listening to this [episode] thinking, ‘Oh my goodness this is my life,’ I want you to know that there are resources. There is help…You are not alone.” Show Highlights Fundamental theologies of the church and how they enable abusers. (3:23) Why we must recognize that abuse happens in the faith community. Plus, we explore some ways it shows up. (4:00) The vulnerability of women within the church: most churches and faith-based communities are patriarchal in their core foundation. Those who carry the greater level of power in the majority tend to be men. (15:39)  How marriage counseling within the church environment is damaging. (23:11) Why the interpretation of the biblical text matters: love and truth versus coercion and control. (36:39) Changing the discussion around sexuality, marriage, and sexual satisfaction for women of the Christian faith. (38:37) Some solutions for women who want to escape an abusive relationship within the faith community. (48:04) We explore the four abusive relational elements, including entitlement and control. (59:51) Learn More About Sarah:Sarah McDugal is a speaker, trainer, and Abuse Recovery Coach who works exclusively with women wounded by toxic relationships in the faith community. She has published three books: "One Face: Shed the Mask, Own Your Values, and Lead Wisely," "Myths We Believe, Predators We Trust: 37 Things You Don't Want to Know About Abuse in Church," and "Safe Churches: Responding to Abuse in the Faith Community."  Sarah is the founder of WILD, which offers individual coaching, recovery resources, training events, online courses, and private support groups. She emphasizes intentional prevention, responsible strategy, and holistic healing in her appearances on podcasts, TV, radio, and lectures.   Resources & Links:Sarah’s websiteSystems of Abuse ChartParenting Resource List5 Day Self-Compassion: Use Code KATE7 for $7 off. Offer extended to the first 100 listeners of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast.  Sarah on FacebookSarah on YouTubeSarah on InstagramSarah on Twitter The Thrive Fund
This week we are discussing how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. Joining me is my guest Bill Eddy. Bill is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. Bill is also the author of BIFF™: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, and the just-released, BIFF For Coparent Communication. If you are in any kind of high-conflict situation, you need this book. Seriously.  During our conversation, Bill shares his expertise along with tips and techniques to help maneuver difficult co-parent texts, emails, and social media posts. Whether you are in a high-conflict co-parent situation or simply co-parenting with an ex, this episode is full of valuable information you can put to use immediately. Show Highlights High-conflict personalities and keeping high-conflict divorce out of the courtroom. How Bill developed the method of communication he uses in high-conflict situations. Why it is important to be brief when writing emails or written correspondence with a co-parent.  Why you should avoid labeling a co-parent as a blame speaker, high-conflict person, or as someone who has a personality disorder. Plus, what you can do instead.  Some techniques to help turn a high-conflict situation around or at least defuse one. The art of learning how and when to take a PAUSE. How to get information to a co-parent, in a friendly tone, and then end the conversation.  Learn More About Bill: Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years’ experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries and is the author or co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views. Resources & Links: High Conflict InstituteBill on Instagram High Conflict Institute on Facebook The Thrive Fund
Financial abuse is the exertion of power, control, and manipulation to the detriment of a person.  This form of abuse negatively impacts a person in a number of ways. Here’s the thing, many women become financially disempowered after marriage and experience financial abuse in silence. So, this week, during the Divorce Survival Guide series on abuse, we are exploring the topic of financial abuse.  My special guest is Lili Vasileff. She is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF™) specializing in Matrimonial Litigation, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®). In this episode we explore what financial abuse looks like, the complexities involved, and red flags to watch for.  And yes, while this is a conversation about financial abuse, it is also one about financial empowerment too.  Join me next week when we explore how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. You can sign up for my email list to be notified whenever a new episode is released or subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast listening app.  Show Highlights The difference between financial infidelity and financial abuse. (4:52) Financial abuse explained. Did you know that one in three victims of financial abuse don't even recognize it for what it is? (8:12) Is financial abuse common? Lili shares. Plus, some ways it may show up in a relationship. (9:46) Steps to take to ensure financial security at the beginning of a relationship. (18:38) You want to get divorced but have been abused, controlled, and manipulated. Lili offers some ways to get out of this type of situation and find financial freedom. (22:41) There are organizations willing to teach, help, and support women to get back into a career, to learn how to budget, learn how to invest, and go through a divorce. (26:44) Some red flags and characteristics of a financial abuser. (35:26) Learn More About Lili: Lili A. Vasileff is a fee-only Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), Master Analyst in Financial Forensics (MAFF™) specializing in Matrimonial Litigation, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), and President of Wealth Protection Management based in Greenwich, CT. She is a trained mediator, collaborative financial specialist, and qualified litigation expert. She trains divorce professionals in the Collaborative process and presents on financial topics regularly at the New York City Bar Association.  She is a nationally recognized expert practitioner, speaker, writer, and author of three books: “Money & Divorce: The Essential Roadmap to Mastering Financial Decisions” published by the American Bar Association; and “The Ultimate Divorce Organizer, The Complete Interactive Guide to Achieving the Best Legal, Financial and Personal Divorce”, and “The Divorce Planner Checklist”.  Lili is the co-president of the National Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP).  Her awards include the prestigious 2013 Pioneering Award for outstanding public advocacy and leadership in the field of divorce financial planning, the Women’s Choice Award as a highly recommended Financial Advisor by Women for Women; CEO Today 2018 Business Woman of the Year Award; Five Star Wealth Manager Award for last 12 years, the Best Wealth Protection Manager 2019 - Northeast USA and Recognized Leader in Divorce Finance 2019 by Wealth & Money Management, and Marquis Who’s Who Albert Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award.  Her website is www.wealthprotectionmanagement.com. Resources & Links: Lili’s website Lili on TwitterLili on LinkedInLili on InstagramLili on Facebook Lili on YouTube DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Domestic Violence with Leslie Morgan Steiner DSG Abuse Mini-Series: Escaping Emotional Abuse with Beverly Engel Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group The Thrive Fund JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
This week we continue the abuse mini-series on the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. In this episode, Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of The Naked Truth, returns to the show to join me in a discussion about domestic violence. She is a New York Times best-selling author, a columnist for The Washington Post, a speaker on work/family balance, a successful corporate executive – and domestic violence survivor.  Her book, Crazy Love, is a harrowing memoir about her journey through a severely violent marriage. Together we discuss the complexities of domestic violence and Leslie shares how she ultimately ended her tumultuous marriage and began to heal. Still, to come on the Divorce Survival Guide mini-series on abuse, we’ll explore financial abuse and how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. You can sign up for my email list to be notified whenever a new episode is released or subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast listening app.  Show Highlights Leslie’s story of domestic violence abuse and how it was a transformational experience. (9:09) The stigma and shame of being an abuse victim is similar to being a sexual assault victim.  (15:07) 85% of abusers are men and some red flags to watch for in potential partners. (16:33) Caution: If you think “I can't help him, but if he gets into therapy, then he'll be okay,” this is true — if he does his own work and his own therapy. The research has shown it can be a decades-long process. (27:47) Domestic violence is a triage situation: help the victims first, but we're never really going to end abuse unless we start focusing on perpetrators getting the counseling that they need. (28:21) Abusive relationships: should you stay or should you go? (30:12) How Leslie reconciled being the victim of a destructive relationship and the champion of relationships themselves as a force for healing. (42:29) Learn More About Leslie: New York Times best-selling author, a columnist for The Washington Post, speaker on work/family balance, successful corporate executive – and domestic violence survivor.  Leslie Morgan Steiner is the author of four nonfiction books: the New York Times bestselling memoir Crazy Love; the critically acclaimed anthology Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families; The Baby Chase: How Surrogacy Is Transforming the American Family; and her latest memoir, The Naked Truth, which explores female sexuality, self-esteem, and dating after 50.  Steiner holds a BA in English from Harvard College. Her first job was writing and editing for Seventeen Magazine. After graduating from Wharton business school in 1992 with an MBA in Marketing, she launched Splenda Brand Sweetener internationally for Johnson & Johnson. She returned to her hometown of Washington, DC in 2001 to become General Manager of the 1.1 million-circulation Washington Post Magazine, a position she held for five years. From 2006-2008 she wrote over 500 columns for the Washington Post’s popular on-line work/family column, “On Balance.” She has been profiled by People Magazine, the New York Times, Glamour, Psychology Today, Redbook, The Washington Post, and other publications.    Steiner is a regular speaker at international women’s conferences and media guest on The Today Show, National Public Radio, Anderson Cooper 360, The Tamron Hall Show, ABC, NBC, CBS, and cable news networks. She has appeared in Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Elle, Parents, Self, Vogue, Vanity Fair, The Los Angeles Times, and CNN.com.  She is a frequent speaker and consultant on the subjects of marketing to moms and ending family violence. Her 2012 TEDTalk about domestic violence has been viewed by over six million people, and in 2014 she completed her second TEDTalk exploring the ethics of global surrogacy.   She serves as a board member for the One Love Foundation, in honor of the slain University of Virginia senior Yeardley Love.  Leslie Morgan Steiner lives in Washington, DC, New York, and New Hampshire.  Resources & Links:Leslie’s website Leslie on InstagramNo Visible BruisesShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group The Thrive Fund TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
This month, I am kicking off a mini-series on abuse on the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. In this episode, Beverly Engel joins me to talk about emotional abuse. She is the author of Escaping Emotional Abuse: Healing from the Shame You Don’t Deserve.   Emotional abuse is a deep and insidious attack on the soul. It causes the victim to question the truth about themselves, to doubt their worthiness as a person, and even the capacity to love.  In Beverly’s book, she writes that she found emotional abuse and shame to be more harmful than physical abuse. Whether or not you are being emotionally abused, this episode is a must-listen. The only way to help people from abuse like emotional abuse is to talk openly and honestly about it. We cover so much in this episode, I hope you’ll tune in.  Also, coming up over the next few weeks during the Divorce Survival Guide mini-series on abuse, we’ll explore the topics of domestic violence, financial abuse, and how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. You can sign up for my email list to be notified whenever a new episode is released or subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast listening app.  Show Highlights What is emotional abuse? (4:06) Some characteristics of emotional abuse, like threatening to leave you or withholding money, sex, or affection. (15:00) The reason why women, in particular, find themselves in emotionally abusive relationships.(21:10) The intentional abuser is looking for somebody they can control. (22:34) The unintentional abuser is probably repeating what they witnessed in their home, repeating how his father treated his mother or vice versa. (27:26) You are depressed, emotionally, and physically depleted. Beverly explains how to gain the strength and the determination to pack up and leave. (33:24) Shame is one of the most damaging aspects of emotional abuse. We discuss some of the major factors towards healing, including self-compassion and expressing anger. (41:14) Learn More About Beverly: Beverly has been a psychotherapist for 35 years specializing in emotional and sexual abuse healing. She is the author of 23 self-help books and has been on many national radio and TV programs including CNN, Oprah and Starting Over.  Resources & Links: Beverly’s New Book Beverly’s website Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
My friend Susan Guthrie, host of Divorce and Beyond Podcast, joins me to talk about why you might want to seek spousal and child support in your divorce. I am especially excited about this episode because it’s a crossover event that we created for you! This episode is Part 1 of the crossover event and you can hear Part 2 on Susan’s show. Alimony is the scariest and complicated topic that comes up during a divorce. Together, Susan and I talk about the complexities of spousal support, including how tax laws/bills affect alimony (currently, not in a good way), and when it’s appropriate to seek out support. In Part 1 of our crossover conversation (this episode, right here!) Susan and I talked about why women should take support. In Part 2, we discuss some of the support pitfalls to watch out for and why it may not be the best solution for everyone. Head over to Susan’s podcast to listen to Part 2! Show Highlights The real-deal about alimony and the factors that go into determining when alimony is appropriate. (4:34) Child support guidelines as they currently stand place children in the middle of a divorce. This is NOT okay. (16:44) As a stay-at-home parent, you’ve invested in the household, therefore spousal support honors the work that you’ve done — as well as the fact that you’ve been removed from the workforce for a time.. However, it’s a minimal return on your investment, which can leave women more disempowered in the end.  (18:15) What you need to know about negotiating support. (28:08) Learn More About Susan: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the United States, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides exclusively online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world through her business Divorce in a Better Way. Susan has also recently partnered with mediation legend, Forrest “Woody” Mosten, to create the Mosten Guthrie Academy to provide cutting edge gold-standard training for attorneys, mediators and other professionals. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee and Annual Advanced Mediation Skills Institute. Susan is also an internationally well-regarded expert in online mediation and has been training colleagues and other professionals in the practical and ethical considerations of conducting their mediations online with her innovative programs and webinars for more than two years. To date, more than 15,000 dispute resolution professionals have benefited from her program and she has trained mediators in countries all around the world including programs for the American Bar Association (ABA), the Alternative Dispute Resolution Institute of Canada (ADRIC), and the National Association of Distinguished Neutrals (NADN) among others. Susan founded Learn to Mediate Online™ in 2018 and now offers more than 7 programs for professionals all designed to help them to advance their skills and their practice to new heights. In addition to her other professional endeavors, Susan is an award-winning podcast host. Having reached a podcast listening audience of almost 4 million in the past two years, Susan is the creator and host of the hit podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes “Top Podcasts for Self-Help” List. She recently launched The Learn to Mediate Online Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. to bring current information, updates and news on ODR to her thousands of followers. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, Forbes, Eye on Chicago, WGN, the ABA’s Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, The Nook Online among others. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links:Susan’s website The Divorce and Beyond Podcast Susan on Instagram Divorce and Beyond Podcast on Instagram Divorce Corp (movie) The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide   JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP
Part of my work is to dig through the roots of patriarchal oppression, expose it for what it is, and bring light to ways in which we can smash it into oblivion. So, when I hear about stories of girls who are given to their abusers to be married at the age of 13 because they are pregnant - I am outraged (and enraged). Dawn Tyree is a fierce survivor of child marriage and turned her experience into an incredible life’s work. She was not raised in a fanatical cult. Girls being married off to their abuser is happening all over the U.S. every year.  In this episode, Dawn joined me to talk about her experience. We discuss the problem of child marriage and how we can resolve it. She is an author, activist, and a founding member of The National Coalition to End Child Marriage in the U.S. Her testimony and that of other survivors played a crucial role in ending child marriage in 4 U.S. States. Her experience has been published in multiple major publications around the world. I am honored that she joined me to share her story.  Show Highlights Dawn shares her story of being left in the care of an adult, experiencing sexual abuse at his hands, and being forced to marry him at 13. (8:57) The system is set up to let sexual abuse, abandonment, and child marriage happen. (13:13) Dawn’s experience of being manipulated into believing that child marriage was the best choice. (15:31) How and when Dawn became aware that she was a victim of a sexual predator/abuser, how she began to process those emotions and started to plot her way out. (17:49) The story of her divorce and custody proceedings - as a minor. By the way, there is NO minimum age to marry (currently) in the state of CA. But, you have to be 18 years old in order for a divorce to be finalized. (27:26) From a parenting perspective, how Dawn spoke to her children about her/their situation. (29:01) Why you have to take your children out of an abusive situation and give them the opportunity to see what else there is. (35:19) What we can do to help end child marriage in the U.S. (41:32) Dawn explains why child marriage is a form of sex trafficking in plain sight. (50:21) Learn More About Dawn: Dawn Tyree is an author, activist, and a founding member of The National Coalition to End Child Marriage in the U.S. She is currently working with Global Hope 365 to help end child marriage in California. Her testimony and that of other survivors played a crucial role in ending child marriage in 4 U.S. States. The story of her experience as a child forced into marriage has been published in The New York Times, Reuters, The Sun, DailyMail, The News-Review, WRAL, Freedom United, Portland Metrozine, YES! Magazine, and printed into 12 different languages. Dawn works with multiple organizations and universities across the nation to help educate and offer support in comparative studies (the US and international) on child marriage and human rights abuse issues. Dawn was featured in a two-hour documentary on child marriage in the U.S. as part of the A & E Network docu-series, “I Was a Child Bride: The Untold Story” with Elizabeth Vargas that aired in April 2019. She continues her activism work in tandem with writing her harrowing story of overcoming the toughest of odds. Tyree is enjoying life in the Pacific Northwest Coastal Range. Resources & Links: National Coalition to End Child Marriage  Dawn on FacebookDawn on Instagram California Coalition to End Child Marriage Child Marriage – Shocking StatisticsStudents Against Child Marriage A&E’s I Was a Child Bride: The Untold Story GET HELP:  National Human Trafficking Hotline:  1-888-373-7888  Text: befree to *233733 Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
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Comments (3)

Esther Gt

You completely described my story. Thank you for making me feel sane.

Jan 11th
Reply

Trish Augustian

omg...this is EXACTLY how things went down for me. He didnt give 2 shits about me for years, but now that I filed he suddenly wants to fix things. Nope...not falling for it

Sep 21st
Reply

Cindy Swank

Yes, my jaw dropped. I read about emotional, verbal, and mental abuse and never believed I was a victim. I took abuse classes as part of my Social Work degree and still did not admit to myself that I was a victim. This podcast has opened my eyes because of how you are talking about it. I didn't even listen to my family. He kept me from my family but not my friends. I was feeling terrible and he literally looked at me and said,"Quit looking me like you are an abused wife". I just kept thinking it was me and my own warped perspective.

Apr 14th
Reply
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