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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Author: Kate Anthony, CPCC

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On the Divorce Survival Guide Podcast we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go? Hosted by Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide.

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We're digging into the emotional rollercoaster divorced dads face, including why they're at higher risk for suicide and the heavy societal and psychological burdens weighing them down. Dr. Eran Magen is a Stanford University-educated expert, holding an M.A. in education and a Ph.D. in psychology. He is also the founder of DivorcedDads.org. Together we talk about the importance of dads having a support system, staying connected with their kids, and building stronger emotional bonds. Eran drops some serious wisdom on handling divorce, keeping your mental health in check, and boosting emotional resilience. Featured topics: The unique challenges divorcing dads face: why they're at higher risk for suicide (3:18) Why most men avoid seeking help during divorce (7:42) How divorcing dads can maintain strong bonds with their kids (24:14) Dr. Magen offers ways to provide support to divorcing dads (32:52) Learn more about Dr. Eran Magen: Dr. Magen earned his M.A. in education and Ph.D. in psychology from Stanford University. He completed post-doctoral training in child psychology and population health, and then served as the research director for the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Counseling and Psychological Services. Dr. Magen is the founder and CEO of Early Alert (https://EarlyAlert.me), which prevents suicide among students in school, colleges, and universities. He is also the founder of ParentingForHumans.com, which helps parents build more joyful and collaborative relationships with their children, and of DivorcingDads.org, which helps divorcing fathers stay healthy, sane, and connected to their children. You can learn more about his work at ParentingForHumans.com and DivorcingDads.org. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective DivorcedDads.org ParentingforHumans.com Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-273-help-for-divorcing-dads-with-dr-eran-magen/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Sharon Pope, a Master Life Coach, and Relationship Expert, joins me to dive into why more women are opting out of their marriages, the historical context of marriage dynamics, and the challenges modern couples are up against. Sharon’s mission is to equip women and men with the tools to improve, heal, or let go of their struggling marriages. We’ll also tackle relationships' social, legal, and emotional sides, emphasizing the importance of open communication and intentionality. Featured topics: Why more women are the ones pulling the plug on their marriages (3:21) Women often check out of their marriage mentally long before they physically leave (12:13) Communication tips and advice to use before you hit the “I'm done” point (14:24) Why Sharon believes “divorce should always be an option.” (26:20) Learn more about Sharon Pope: Sharon Pope is a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping women and men get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She is a seven-time international best-selling author on love and relationships, including "Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret," which has sold more than 300,000 copies, and host of the podcast, “The Loving Truth.” Her work has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Sharon's website Sharon's book, Stay or Go Sharon's Free Training: 4 Ways to Find Clarity in Your Struggling Marriage Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-272-why-more-women-are-calling-it-quits-with-sharon-pope DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Dr. Sarah Schewitz returns to the podcast to talk about pathological love relationships. Dr. Schewitz helps us understand what this type of relationship is, how to know if you’re in one, why these types of relationships can be so devastating, and what is necessary to recover and heal.  Dr. Sarah Schewitz is a licensed psychologist specializing in love and relationships. She is the founder of the successful online psychology practice, Couples Learn, which was named by Forbes Health as one of the top 3 online marriage counseling services in 2023. She specializes in healing attachment trauma, understanding the impact of childhood wounds on your relationships, helping couples transform their communication, and rebuilding trust after betrayal. Featured topics: Dr. Schewitz answers, “What is a pathological love relationship [PLR]?” and describes the four identifiers of a PLR (11:18) Signs and red flags that you might be in a pathological love relationship (13:19) The five personality traits of victims who most often are susceptible to this type of relationship (18:42) Why it is necessary to seek out a trauma-informed and educated therapist to aid you in recovery (33:32) Healing from traumatic PLR oftentimes requires a somatic therapy approach (36:06) Learn more about Dr. Sarah Schewitz: Dr. Sarah Schewitz is a licensed psychologist specializing in love & relationships. She is the founder of the successful online psychology practice, Couples Learn, which was named by Forbes Health as one of the top 3 online marriage counseling services in 2023. She specializes in healing attachment trauma, understanding the impact of childhood wounds on your relationships, helping couples transform their communication, and rebuilding trust after betrayal. Dr. Sarah and Couples Learn have been featured on CNN, The Washington Post, Women’s Health, Bravo TV, and more.  Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Couples Learn Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-270-pathological-love-relationships-with-dr-sarah-schewitz/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
For over six years, I’ve managed a Facebook group for women contemplating whether to stay in or leave their marriages. Recently, I made the very tough decision to close the group. In this bonus solo episode, I address the issues that led to the group’s closing. I further share about the rules and guidelines that were in place, the challenges of managing a large community, and my response to group members' frustrations. I also reflect on boundaries, the importance of doing the work for personal growth, and ultimately, the considerations for potentially reopening the group and providing some closure to the situation. Resources & Links: Facebook Group Survey Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
We’re talking about tenderness and holding space with Heather Plett, author of the award-winning book The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership and the recently released book Where Tenderness Lives: On Healing, Liberation, and Holding Space for Oneself. Heather opens up about her experience of dealing with divorce, co-founding the Center for Holding Space, and authoring books that dive into these concepts. Our conversation reveals how embracing tenderness towards oneself can disrupt patriarchal and capitalist structures and highlights the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and the deep dive required for personal growth. Featured topics: The concept of holding space: what it is and how to do it (3:10) Tenderness as a disruptive force (27:13) Putting into practice daily acts of tenderness (33:15) Learn more about Heather Plett: Heather Plett is the author of the award-winning book The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership and the recently released book Where Tenderness Lives: On Healing, Liberation, and Holding Space for Oneself. She is also an international speaker and workshop facilitator, and co-founder of the Centre for Holding Space. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on A Tender Space Podcast: Healing and Divorce I A conversation with Kate Anthony Heather's website Center for Holding Space Heather on Facebook Heather on Instagram Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-269-where-tenderness-lives-with-heather-plett DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Oftentimes, we wrap our identities in this one thing - like marriage. What happens when it's over? This week, Nikki Spoelstra (Nikki Spo) joins me to discuss the transformative power of self-discovery through life's most challenging moments. Nikki and I cover a range of important topics, including how self-esteem is built through self-knowledge, strategies for managing thoughts about divorce, emphasizing the importance of setting limits on dwelling on the past, and so much more. Nikki is a breath of fresh air for women going through hard times.  Join us as we discuss the intricate process of reinventing oneself after significant life changes, the importance of self-acceptance, and the journey to finding joy and worth within. Featured topics: Nikki answers, "How did you reinvent yourself?" TLDR: “You do so, even when you’re scared as shit.” (7:18) Self-esteem is built through self-knowledge. (22:02) Apologizing is not the same thing as making amends. (26:11) Romanticizing friendships with your ex/co-parent: Don’t compare your divorce or co-parenting relationship to others. It may evolve differently or stay the same forever. (29:59) Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting. (31:33) A reminder that you get to be the owner of your story, and people don’t have to know all the details about your relationships or divorce (38:19) Learn more about Nikki Spo: Nikki Spoelstra is the host of The Know with Nikki Spo - a globally top-ranked podcast that highlights the stories of individuals who are finding and celebrating their deepest sense of inner knowing in a space where it’s not about knowing everything, but about coming to know ourselves. Covering topics that range from motherhood and business to wellness and self-care, The Know with Nikki Spo has been nominated for the People’s Choice Podcast Award and is up for two coveted Gracie Awards, which honor exceptional women in podcasting and journalism. Nikki is a single mom of three, has overcome tough life experiences with ferocity and grace, and is a compelling speaker of truths. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Nikki’s Podcast The Know with Nikki Spo Nikki's website Nikki on Instagram @nikkisappspo Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-268-reinventing-yourself-after-divorce-nikki-spo-on-self-discovery-and-empowerment/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
“Therapy is dead,” says this week’s podcast guest, Dawn Wiggins. In this episode, we get to the heart of why Dawn says therapy isn’t always the answer and, instead, how somatic and homeopathic techniques help individuals heal from various forms of trauma.   Dawn is a trauma-informed licensed marriage and family therapist and integrative healer who helps women turn the traumatic journey of divorce into a force for healing, self-love, and joy through a tailored blend of holistic and scientifically supported solutions.   Featured topics: Supported solutions for healing like EFT (6:45) Why Dawn says therapy is dead + explains the job of a therapist (16:25) Homeopathy: what it is and how Dawn weaves it into her practice (18:31) How we can use all of these techniques to heal the trauma of divorce and more (29:19) Learn more about Dawn Wiggins: Dawn Wiggins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR specialist, and constitutional homeopath. She draws on decades of experience to help women navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes after ending a marriage. Using a little bit of science, a few alternative remedies and emotional release techniques, a whole lot of love, and zero BS, we step out of the victim mindset and into building a new life after divorce. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dawn's website Dawn on Facebook Dawn on Instagram Post Divorce Roadmap - 21 Days of Guided Journaling Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-267-is-therapy-dead-with-dawn-wiggins/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
We are talking about a really important topic this week: grief. Grief is shocking in divorce. My guest Barri Leiner Grant, is a grief specialist and educator who joins me to help us understand how to process the grief we feel over an ended marriage. Barri divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing an imagined future. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Featured topics: Why do we grieve a divorce? (2:16) Shame is a complicating factor in grief and divorce (8:49) The root cause of the shame and how to move through it (17:00) If we don’t look at our grief head-on, it will grow like a weed Grief tending: what it is and how you can tend to your grief (21:18) Exploring who you are now and who you want to be (28:35) Learn more about Barri Leiner Grant: Barri Leiner Grant is a grief specialist and educator and the founder of The Memory Circle -- a place and space she created for those who have experienced both death and non-death losses. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, and Maria Shriver's Sunday paper, among many other media outlets. She is an author who shares her personal experiences of loss widely. She divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing a future imagined. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Barri's website Barri on Instagram The Artist’s Way Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-266-putting-the-g-word-in-the-d-word-with-barri-leiner-grant TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Sadie Marie of Divorced and Happy joins me for a conversation about why life after divorce is the BEST, and her path of personal growth, self-discovery, and relationships. Sadie Marie empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce.  Our conversation is multifaceted, from feeling disempowered in marriage to reclaiming empowerment. We also touch on navigating divorce within friendships and pursuing genuine happiness. Listen in to hear about Sadie Marie’s joy-filled journey post-divorce. Her journey is a true testament that finding happiness post-divorce is possible!  Featured topics: What it means to be divorced and happy. (4:56) The feeling of being disempowered in marriage to moving to a place of empowerment. (7:17) Sadie shares her journey through fun, play, dating, and sexual exploration. (13:10) Navigating divorce and friendships. (17:39) Becoming a happy person and what the work looks like to get there. (20:13) Vanilla, Strawberry, and Sprinkles! Yes, please. Sadie tells us about her “What’s your dating flavor?” quiz. (31:54) Learn more about Sadie Marie: Sadie Marie, host of Sadie’s Divorced and Happy podcast, empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce. Sadie also produces Divorced and Happy social events in cities across the country, including the Twin Cities, Denver, and Chicago. Learn more at DivorcedandHappy.net  Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Divorced and Happy Sadie Marie on Instagram Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-265-divorced-and-happy-with-sadie-marie/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
I am thrilled to welcome Susan Hyatt, a Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. Susan is on a mission to disrupt the age and wage gaps—all the gaps that hold women back. Her work (and this conversation) empowers women, particularly those in midlife, to embrace their prime with fervor and enthusiasm. Together, we discuss female empowerment, self-discovery, and the journey towards embracing one's prime, including our sexuality (and I tell you guys something I haven’t told anyone else). We'll also explore the transformative potential of personal and financial growth, including opportunities in commercial real estate investment for women. Prepare for an episode filled with wisdom, inspiration, and actionable steps to redefine aging and self-worth. Featured topics: Embracing what it means to be in our prime (3:27) Disrupting age and beauty norms, including the notion that “thin is better” (9:57) Body acceptance, women and pleasure (20:26) Big YES Energy and how to tap into it (29:00) Women and building wealth (37:09) Learn more about Susan Hyatt: Susan Hyatt is a veteran Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. She helps women claim Big Yes Energy, getting more of whatever they want—from money to confidence, energy to joy. She is also the creator of BARE - a groundbreaking process that’s inspired women all over the world to stop shrinking their bodies and start expanding their lives. Susan has been featured on national TV and in magazines like O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, and Woman’s World and was a finalist for the Athena Award, recognizing leadership in the field of women’s empowerment and entrepreneurship. When Susan is not hyping up her clients, leading epic retreats, or making a scene, you can find her lifting heavy weights, traveling the world, enjoying her hygge corner, and ditching the “invisible workload” so she can earn more and play more. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Susan’s website Women Invested  Susan on Instagram Susan on Facebook Show link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-264-big-yes-energy-with-susan-hyatt/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Discover how laughter can lighten the weight of divorce in this week’s episode. When your whole world feels on fire, bringing levity to divorce can be like a breath of fresh air. My guest this week, Andrea Rappaport, knows a thing or two about imparting humor in one's life while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is a recovering comedian who is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce.  Andrea and I look at the delicate balance between humor and seriousness in this episode when discussing divorce. Plus, we talk about why finding the right attorney is essential and the need for having a supportive squad by your side.  Featured topics: Why humor is so important when we're struggling (3:30) Some of the mistakes Andrea made in her divorce and what she learned (10:30) Checking expectations: “If you have an unhealthy marriage, you will likely not have a healthy divorce.” (11:53) Hiring the RIGHT attorney for your divorce (14:15) Why you need and DESERVE a team of support as you go through this process (44:20) Learn more about Andrea Rappaport: Andrea Rappaport is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce. As a recovering comedian, she STRONGLY values the need for humor in our lives while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is proudly divorced and a mom to two little boys whom she loves almost as much as a shopping trip to TJMAXX. She has recently been engaged to a man who makes her laugh and loves her deeply. When she’s not shopping or podcasting, Andrea co-runs a Chicago-based marketing and messaging firm, Rappaport & Schaer. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Andrea’s website Andrea on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Tami Wollensak returns to the show! She shares more about divorcing and the nuances of keeping, selling, or refinancing your home. Tami is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 28+ year industry veteran. She has discovered her passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time. Grab your notebook and a pen - this episode is a notetaking one that busts some myths and provides expert advice on what questions to ask when considering whether to take or leave the house during your divorce.   Featured topics: Assuming the mortgage on the marital home: The answer to “Can my ex assume the mortgage on the marital home?” is not always “No.” (4:18) What are your options if you are unable to assume the mortgage? (21:00) The importance of considering the long-term consequences of sharing a mortgage with your ex (23:21) The information you need to be able to decide if you can assume a mortgage (28:04) Learn more about Tami Wollensak: Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan officer and a 28+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, coach, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate or future purchase. Tami has been a guest on multiple podcasts, speaks regularly and contributes to many media outlets on divorce mortgage planning and helping divorcing homeowners to make better and more informed decisions when it comes to their real property. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Tami can lend in all 50 states. (NMLS #1963450) Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Tami’s website Tami on Facebook  Tami on LinkedIn Tami on Instagram Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-262-home-equity-solutions-in-divorce-with-tami-wollensak/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Licensed Psychologist Dr. Justine Weber is on the show this week as we explore the complex journey of healing after leaving an abusive relationship. Her recent book is, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?” and the title (and content) is a favorite of mine! In the book and during our conversation, Dr. Weber walks us through understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together after everything feels like it has fallen apart.   Together, we explore everything from dealing with post-separation abuse and navigating co-parenting with a narcissist to finding solace in somatic therapy and building back self-trust. This episode unpacks the multifaceted process of healing and empowerment. Featured topics: Somatic therapy and learning to reconnect with Self (11:33) Navigating post-separation abuse while working toward healing (17:42) Tips and insights for communicating with a narcissist (22:41) How to cope and detach from legal threats made by your abuser (35:27) Learn more about Justine Weber: California licensed Psychologist, a coach helping people heal after a narcissistic relationship, certified in high conflict divorce coaching, and a recent book author titled "How the fuck do I heal from this? Understanding narcissistic abuse and how to put your life back together". Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Justine’s website Justine’s book, “How the F*ck Do I Heal From This?” BIFF for Co-Parent Communication =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Relationship coach and author Bryan Reeves joins me this week to discuss relationships, personal growth, and societal constructs. Bryan’s journey from military service to relationship coaching reveals insights into the power and necessity of connecting with emotions, especially for men.  Many of Bryan’s insights are drawn from his work with couples and his book, “Choose Her Every Day or Leave Her,” focusing on choosing connection over disconnection, confronting one’s fears, and the transformative power of love and accountability in relationships. Bryan’s work is incredibly important. Please listen to what’s possible in the world of relationships. This is truly an insightful conversation! Featured topics: Most men come to relationship work when they realize they have no choice… (3:01) How culture teaches men to suppress emotions and the journey from disconnection to real connection with feelings and others (5:17) Bryan talks about what he means when he says he teaches men “to care and not care simultaneously.” (20:00) Creating safety in relationship with women and taking responsibility (38:51) Encouraging men’s engagement in personal growth (48:12) Learn more about Bryan Reeves: A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan is now an internationally renowned Author and Life/Relationship Coach with a current focus on supporting men to have better lives and relationships. His viral blog has been read by over 50 million people in every country on the planet (except North Korea). He’s the co-founder of “Elevate Your Relationship,” a live coaching program for men ready to elevate their relationship game, which currently serves men in 10 countries. He’s co-host of the popular podcast, “Men, This Way,” and his newest book, Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her), is available on Audible, Amazon and other retailers. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” – audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Bryan’s website Bryan’s book: Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) Women Who Run With Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes -------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Psychologist and writer Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. We also delve into its effects on individuals and share insights on self-nurturing after the relationship ends. Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. Featured topics: We explore the phrase “It takes two to tango…” Does it, though, when narcissistic abuse or toxicity is involved in a relationship? (1:49) Is there anything that you can do to help a narcissistic and abusive partner? The short answer is no. (7:00) Narcissistic Personality is a disorder. It’s not a mental health condition. Kerry explains the distinction. (11:58) The slow dismantling of Self when you are in an abusive relationship. (15:29) Covert Aggression: what it means and how it shows up (19:56) Focusing on and nurturing yourself back to life is essential in a relationship that has dimmed you. (46:08) Learn more about Kerry McAvoy: Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word - audiobook now available! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kerry's book, Love You More Kerry on TikTok Kerry on Instagram Kerry on Facebook Kerry on YouTube Why Can’t I Just Leave (book) Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-259-healing-from-narcissistic-relationships-with-kerry-mcavoy/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
My guest, Jason VanRuler, shares his direct and honest approach to working with couples and offers a fresh perspective on overcoming past challenges and building exceptional relationships. During our conversation, you’ll discover how to “Get Past Your Past” as Jason shares invaluable insights, emphasizing the importance of taking action and not seeking validation from others for your progress. We also discuss navigating resistance in relationships, dealing with differing narratives in divorce, and addressing the complexities of sex addiction within marriage. With over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist, Jason’s expertise shines through as he offers practical advice and compassionate support.  Featured topics: Jason explains what he means by “get past your past…” (2:28) “Sometimes it’s not that you don’t know what to do; it’s that you are not doing what you’re supposed to do.” (8:53) It is essential to recognize that not everyone will be happy about your progress when you do the work. Do not determine your success by the approval of the people you are surrounded by. (9:56) The effects and challenges a couple faces when one is doing the work and the other is resistant. (13:07) Jason answers, “What do you do when your ex-partner has a narrative about your divorce that differs from yours?” (22:52) The effects of sex addiction on marriage and how Jason works with couples around this type of addiction. (31:57) Learn more about Jason VanRuler: Jason VanRuler has worked in everything from the corporate world to the entrepreneurial one — and has over a decade of experience as a coach and therapist dedicated to helping others. With extensive experience as a coach, clinician, and speaker, Jason now owns a private practice, writes books, gives speeches, and facilitates and leads groups across the world. Coaching is always equal parts affirming, honest, and compassionate — and Jason’s practice has led with this approach when helping every client seeking guidance and direction. Whether it’s leadership coaching, relationship building, couples therapy, addiction, trauma, or something different, his goal is the same: to speak truth and grace into every life I work with. When Jason is not facilitating, coaching, speaking, or writing, you can find him cycling, fly fishing, and living life with his wife and three children at their home in South Dakota.   Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Jason’s website Jason’s book Get Past Your Past Jason on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: PRIMIS BANK Get started navigating your new financial picture with Primis Bank. For terms and conditions, visit primisbank.com/dsg. SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Forensic Accountant Tracy Coenen joins me for a conversation about the predatory nature of MLMs. In addition to investigating fraud for over 25 years, Tracy founded Pink Truth, a website that uncovers the problematic and damaging truth of multi-level marketing (MLM). By and large, MLM schemes overwhelm and prey upon women, falsely promising entrepreneurship and financial freedom while making them more financially dependent on an abusive structure. In this episode, Tracy and I explore how MLMs masquerade as empowering ventures but function as wolves in sheep’s clothing. Featured topics: Tracy Coenen sheds light on the predatory tactics of multi-level marketing. (6:10) False promises about entrepreneurship: We discuss the facade MLMs portray that “you are starting a business of your own…” (14:49) Instead of empowering women, MLMs make them more financially dependent on an exploitative structure. (21:31) Tracy answers, “Why are women so drawn to MLMs? Why are women a good target for this?” (42:12) Learn more about Tracy Coenen: Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could become a CPA… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Pink Truth The Dream TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: PRIMIS BANK Get started navigating your new financial picture with Primis Bank. For terms and conditions, visit primisbank.com/dsg. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Eli Harwood, the Attachment Nerd, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about attachment theory, building deep connections, and her new book, Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns Into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships! We hear about attachment styles all the time. In this episode, Eli and I nerd out on all things attachment, get to the heart of how attachment patterns impact us, and how to transform patterns that are not in service of healthy, loving relationships. Featured topics: Attachment styles/patterns: what does the developmental research say? (3:42) What attachment is from a biological/evolutionary perspective. (6:46) The different attachment patterns and how each pattern impacts relationships. (7:03) Eli answers, “Can you transform into a secure attachment pattern in an unhealthy relationship?” (24:00) It is ethically contraindicated to engage in couples therapy when abuse is present. (33:58) When you leave an abusive relationship, you will be creating a domain in your life and your children’s lives that are free of abuse. (40:28) Learn more about Eli Harwood: Eli Harwood is a licensed therapist, author, and educator who has more than 17 years of experience helping people process relational traumas and develop secure attachment relationships with their children and partners. Eli has three children, one husband, two cats, and an extraordinary number of plants! Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Private Coaching with Kate Eli on Instagram Eli’s website Eli’s book, Securely Attached TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: PRIMIS BANK Get started navigating your new financial picture with Primis Bank. For terms and conditions, visit primisbank.com/dsg. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
This week, we are talking about reinventing oneself on the other side of divorce. Jenny Eversole founded Stylespace.com, an online professional styling service that elevates your style with expert stylists. She joins me to discuss discovering your identity through style and aligning it with who you are now. Jenny guides us through the process of defining our unique style identities. From curating our closets to accentuating our body types, Jenny’s wisdom reminds us that style is not just about clothing—it’s a powerful tool for self-discovery and confidence. Featured topics: How you can become grounded in who you are by discovering your identity through style (9:11) How to define your style that showcases your identity, goals, personality, and values (11:09) Editing your closet to let go and move on and create space for new opportunities (14:53) Style is for everyone and every body type (16:47) How to dress to accentuate your specific body type (32:31) Learn more about Jenny Eversole: Jenny Eversole is the founder of Stylespace.com an online professional styling service to elevate your style with expert stylists. After nearly a decade running her couture fashion label, she learned how personal style impacts every area of life from one’s confidence, productivity, happiness and overall success. Jenny founded Style Space for anyONE and anyBODY to look, feel, and BE their best through personal style. Jenny is a divorce survivor and is 9 years very happily remarried with 3 kids. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective StyleSpace: You can download a free guide to get started on your style at StyleSpace.com. Click the “Discover my dream style” link at the top. Jenny on LinkedIn Jenny on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: PRIMIS BANK Get started navigating your new financial picture with Primis Bank. For terms and conditions, visit primisbank.com/dsg. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Most narratives around narcissism in relationships center on individuals with narcissistic personalities. My guest this week, Dr. Ramani, shifts the focus to the survivors, giving them a voice and discussing the emotional turmoil and psychological impact of being in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Through Dr. Ramani’s latest book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” she offers invaluable insights into navigating the aftermath of narcissistic relationships, empowering survivors to reclaim their sense of self and find a path forward. Her extensive research and clinical experience offer practical guidance for individuals navigating a divorce or contemplating leaving a narcissistic relationship, providing a beacon of hope and understanding in the journey toward healing. Featured topics: Narcissism is a personality style. It is a series of traits. (8:04) Why is it hard for people in a relationship with a narcissist to understand what’s actually happening? (14:43) What’s happening to us when we are gaslit and in a fog of confusion from narcissistic abuse? (18:37) What radical acceptance is and how it can help you build a path forward toward healing (35:06) How Dr. Ramani helps people get to a place of radical acceptance (44:07) Learn more about Dr Ramani: Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting, a company focused on educating individuals, clinicians and businesses/institutions on the impact of narcissistic personality styles. Her academic research was focused on the impact of personality and personality disorders on health and behavior. She is an author of multiple books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility and her newest book, It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People will be released in February, 2024 (Penguin Life). Dr. Durvasula is a faculty member for the APA Leadership Institute for Women in Psychology, and a consulting editor for the journal Behavioral Medicine. She has spoken widely on the impact of narcissism on mental health, relationships and the workplace. She also operates a popular YouTube channel and podcast (Navigating Narcissism). Dr. Durvasula is also working with PESI on the development of an educational and certification program for clinicians working with clients experiencing the fallout of narcissistic relationships. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dr. Ramani’s website Dr. Ramani on Instagram Dr. Ramani on TikTok Dr. Ramani on YouTube Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist! Answer four easy questions and you’ll get a curated list of podcast episodes to best support you as you navigate these tricky waters. I’ll also help you identify where you currently stand on this journey, and what’s ahead, with resources to help you move through this process with knowledge and grace. GET IT HERE DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Comments (8)

victoria lisa

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Feb 5th
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Razieh Babagoli

your words r amazing

Aug 30th
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Razieh Babagoli

amazing discussion

Nov 29th
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Razieh Babagoli

inspiring .thank u

Oct 20th
Reply

Razieh Babagoli

it was really inspiring for me. thanks a million

Oct 19th
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Esther Gt

You completely described my story. Thank you for making me feel sane.

Jan 11th
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Trish Mullins

omg...this is EXACTLY how things went down for me. He didnt give 2 shits about me for years, but now that I filed he suddenly wants to fix things. Nope...not falling for it

Sep 21st
Reply

Cindy Swank

Yes, my jaw dropped. I read about emotional, verbal, and mental abuse and never believed I was a victim. I took abuse classes as part of my Social Work degree and still did not admit to myself that I was a victim. This podcast has opened my eyes because of how you are talking about it. I didn't even listen to my family. He kept me from my family but not my friends. I was feeling terrible and he literally looked at me and said,"Quit looking me like you are an abused wife". I just kept thinking it was me and my own warped perspective.

Apr 14th
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