The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

We're pulling back the curtain on military marriage and divorce, a world built on service and sacrifice but also one that silences and sidelines the spouses, most often women, who hold everything together while their partners serve. I'm thrilled to welcome Heather Sweeney to the podcast for this conversation, one I've been wanting to have for years. She's a writer, former military spouse, and the author of the upcoming memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage.  Heather shares what it's really like to build a life around someone else's career, the toll of deployments, and the barriers military spouses face when seeking support. We also talk about losing your sense of self, navigating a system built on patriarchy that's designed to keep spouses dependent and invisible, and finding the strength to step into life on your own terms after divorce. Please know that this episode isn't just for military spouses. It's for anyone who has ever felt invisible in their own relationship or wondered what might happen if they stopped holding everything together. ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you'll hear about in this episode: The unexpected ways military life might erode a spouse's identity and independence (2:27) An inside look at reintegration after deployment and the obstacles couples face when learning to live together again (6:50) The systemic roadblocks military spouses deal with when seeking support or counseling (11:22) The weight military life adds to an already struggling marriage (34:29) How some military marriages can thrive when there is solid communication and support (45:07) Learn more about Heather Sweeney: Heather Sweeney is the author of the memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage, which is about her journey from being overshadowed by her husband's military career to rediscovering herself as a single mother approaching middle age. She writes essays about divorce, life as a military spouse, parenting, and women's health, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, HuffPost, TODAY.com, Newsweek, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, Healthline, and Military.com, among many others. She lives in Virginia with her boyfriend, two college-aged kids, and their geriatric Labrador retriever. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Heather's website Heather's book, Camouflage Heather on Instagram Heather's Substack Military OneSource =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-339-military-marriage-and-divorce-with-heather-sweeney/

We are diving into one of the most challenging and emotional parts of divorce, money. Money is not just numbers on a spreadsheet; it is safety, freedom, self-worth, and often a whole lot of shame. Today I'm joined by Shari Rash, a nationally recognized financial advisor and money mindset expert. She hosts Everyone's Talkin' Money, named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times with more than 24 million downloads, and is known for turning complex financial topics into real-life conversations that help women claim their worth and build lasting wealth. Shari does not give cookie-cutter "skip the latte" advice. She brings real talk with no bro speak and no shaming, helping you unpack old money stories, release shame, and step into financial confidence. She reminds you that it is on you now, and that that's a good thing. Take that power, understand what you have, and work with it. This conversation will help you build clarity and confidence to manage your money before, during, and after divorce. ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you'll hear about in this episode: How to shift your money mindset and simplify finances so decisions feel less overwhelming (2:58) Deep seated money beliefs that keep you stuck and how to challenge them so you feel capable and in control (6:12) The first steps to releasing money shame and rebuilding confidence (13:17) The subtle ways money shapes your daily choices and self worth after divorce (22:27) Common money myths and the truths women need to hear in this stage of life (23:16) Learn more about Shari Rash: Shari Rash is a nationally recognized financial advisor, money mindset expert, and the host of Everyone's Talkin' Money—named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times, with over 24 million downloads. Shari breaks down complex financial topics into real-life conversations that empower women to own their worth and build lasting wealth. She's been named a 2024 Best Wealth Manager and Advisor Under 40 by InvestmentNews. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Everyone's Talkin' Money Podcast Shari on Instagram Shari on TikTok Shari on Facebook Shari on YouTube =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-338-divorce-money-and-self-worth-with-shari-rash/  

If you've ever felt like you "just weren't born a good communicator," I want to stop you right there. Most of us are not born with these skills, instead we learn them, often the hard way. I know, because when someone asked me at my book launch, "Where did you learn to communicate?" I blanked and said I was "just born with it." The truth? Communication is something I studied, practiced, and worked at for years. In this solo episode, I walk you through the communication tools that changed everything for me. These skills didn't save my marriage, but they did save my divorce. They made co-parenting possible (because he'd learned these skills too), built the foundation for healthier friendships and relationships, and became the backbone of the work I do with my clients. This isn't about becoming perfect or never messing up, it's about learning how to really listen, how to be heard, and how to create connection instead of disconnection. And yes, it's a practice. In this episode, I share: How I learned communication skills the hard way Why Imago therapy can be a useful communication model, but not a solution for abuse The power of listening for feelings underneath words, not just the words themselves How feedback loops, timing, and permission are key to being heard Why I-statements, mirroring, and empathy create deeper connections in every kind of relationship ✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. Resources & Links: Don't forget to grab the free worksheet to help you get started with active listening, I-statements, and more. Download the Communication Worksheet Mentioned in This Episode at: KateAnthony.com/communicate The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-337-solo-episode-how-i-learned-the-communication-skills-that-changed-my-life/

I'm excited to welcome back Jennie Young to the podcast. Jennie is here to talk about dating after divorce and how to protect yourself from getting tangled in the patterns you worked so hard to get yourself out of. She's the creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method — a sharp and fiercely feminist approach to spotting danger early in the dating process, and the author of the upcoming book Burn the Haystack In our conversation, Jennie and I dig into the realities of dating after divorce: from spotting danger in seemingly "safe" profiles to challenging the patriarchal scripts that keep women waiting to be chosen. Plus, we talk about shifting into the seat of choice, what it looks like to feel genuinely comfortable being single, and how these changes ripple out into raising kids with healthier expectations. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you'll hear about in this episode: Jennie shares her origin story and the ah-ha moment that led to creating The Burned Haystack Dating Method (2:31) The feminist philosophy behind Burned Haystack and how it flips the traditional "pick me" script (5:33) Why green flags can actually be red flags in disguise: from love bombing to performative sensitivity (15:25) The importance of being comfortable (and even happy) being single before re-entering dating (32:44) What the "extinction burst" in the toxic manosphere means, and why starving it of attention is essential (35:09) How to shift the messaging for our kids so they grow up with healthier expectations and values (42:39) Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney's, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Jennie's book Burn the HaystackJennie's Substack, Burned HaystackJennie's website Jennie's Facebook Group Jennie on Instagram Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young Episode 325: They Helped Me Find Love—Now They're Interviewing Me About It! With Alyssa Dineen and Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-336-breaking-patterns-choosing-power-dating-after-divorce-with-jennie-young/  

Podcast favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley is back on the show! Today we're unpacking something I know will resonate with so many of you: our trauma responses. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… we all have them. But what if instead of shaming ourselves for these responses, we learned to use them for our benefit? Amelia and I get into what each response actually looks like day-to-day, why they happen so quickly in the body, and how to bring more consciousness when they show up. We also explore ways to reframe them so they can become tools that work in your favor: turning fight into advocacy, flight into creativity, freeze into stillness, and fawn into compassion and service. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you'll hear about in this episode: The four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn (2:36) Why these responses happen so fast in the brain and nervous system (5:41) The role of naming and grounding in shifting your experience (17:47) How to recognize your default response and bring more choice into it (19:55) Using trauma responses in intentional ways, like boxing, cycling, meditation, or setting boundaries (38:20) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley:  Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is an adjunct professor in Psychology at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life and 411 Teen. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is also a resident trainer at PESI offering continuing trauma-focused education to professionals. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider.  Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Dr. Amelia Kelley's websiteDr. Amelia Kelley on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-335-making-your-trauma-responses-work-for-you-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

New episodes are back! Blair Glaser joins me to talk about how leadership roles, yes, the ones from the boardroom, can help you become a better partner, communicator, and even co-parent during and after divorce. What it comes down to, quite simply, is using leadership for love. Blair shares how her four-part leadership model applies directly to relationships in transition, including divorce and co-parenting. You'll hear how clarifying roles reduces tension, why creating a shared vision anchors you during conflict, and how to shift dynamics when relationships change. Whether you're navigating the emotional upheaval of divorce, stepping into a new co-parenting landscape, or preparing for healthier love in the future, this conversation offers practical tools you can start using right now. Podcast episodes are now available in two formats - audio and video! If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you'll hear about in this episode: How leadership principles can change the way you date, partner, and co-parent (2:38) Why traditional models of relationships no longer work (13:46) How to use roles intentionally to reduce conflict and anxiety in relationships (15:34) What it means to fight well, and how to turn conflict into constructive negotiation (19:36) The four-part model Blair designed for co-leadership in intimate relationships (21:02) Why creating a shared vision matters most when co-parenting after divorce (23:36) Learn more about Blair Glaser: Blair Glaser is a (recovering) psychotherapist, executive leadership coach, and organizational development consultant. In an increasingly technological world, she is committed to promoting HI (Human Intelligence), offering people tips and tools to master effective communication, relationships, and making an impact. Over the course of 30 years, she has guided women, couples, veterans, urban youth, and executives and teams (in nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies alike) to lives of greater freedom and enjoyment. She's been quoted in the New York Times, LA Times, Spirituality and Health, and other publications, and ran workshops nationwide at institutions like NYU and Omega retreat centers. She is also a writer with a memoir about living in an ashram coming out in February 2026. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and dog-ter, Vanna White. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Learn to Lead in Love: Introductory call with Blair, Just for The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners Blair on Facebook Blair on LinkedIn Blair on InstagramBlair's Substack Newsletter Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

New episodes return in September! In this final encore episode for the month of August, you'll hear part two of a special crossover series with The Divorce and Beyond Podcast. This episode picks up where my conversation with Susan Guthrie left off: how to have the most difficult conversation of your life: "I want a divorce."  To hear the first part of our conversation, be sure to visit Susan's website to listen. Throughout this episode, we talk about what happens after "the talk,"- everything from building your divorce team to understanding your options for mediation or litigation. Susan brings decades of experience and grounded wisdom to this conversation, making it a must-listen if you're preparing for what comes next. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why January is notoriously dubbed "divorce month"  The first thing you should do after you share with your spouse that you want a divorce The biggest fallacy in the divorce process  How to find the best path forward towards mediation Some approaches to divorce mediation and how to build a mediation team. A reasonable expectation of a timeline for your divorce.  Learn more about Susan Guthrie:  Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association's (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee. After a year and half of co-hosting the award-winning podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, which reached over 3 million listeners, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes "Top Podcasts" List for self-help podcasts. Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation,  Forbes, the ABA's Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links: Divorce RoadmapFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Susan's website Susan on Instagram The Divorce and Beyond Podcast: WE NEED TO TALK: How to Have the Most Difficult Conversation of Your Life with Kate Anthony =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-after-the-talk-how-to-prepare-for-your-divorce-with-susan-guthrie-esq/  

This week's encore episode is a solo one, focused on The Divorce Roadmap—a framework I created after more than a decade of working with thousands of women and mapping out every stage of the divorce process. Over the years, I've gotten really good at helping people identify exactly where they are on that path, which makes it much easier to know what comes next. Throughout this episode, I walk you through the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and break down the different phases within each stage.  Divorce is almost never a straight line. It's messy, it loops, it pauses, and sometimes things fall into place when you least expect it. Knowing where you are on the journey can help you feel more grounded and prepared for what's ahead. Resources & Links: Divorce RoadmapFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce/  

This encore episode features passionate human rights advocate Annette Oltmans, and we're talking about covert emotional abuse, one of the most insidious and overlooked forms of domestic violence. If you're in it, have been through it, or suspect something's not right in your relationship, this is one you don't want to miss (or re-listen to). Annette shares her personal experience of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage, along with what she's learned through years of recovery and deep field research. Her work around Original Abuse and Double Abuse® led her to found The M3ND Project in 2016, an organization dedicated to helping survivors name what's happening and start to heal. What you'll hear about in this episode: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project  Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim's perspective Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress  Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy  Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage The M3nd Project Website Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project The M3ND Project on Facebook The M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTube The M3nd Project on Twitter =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/

This encore episode features Britt Frank, therapist and author of The Science of Stuck, and we're unpacking what it actually means to feel stuck and how to finally move through it. Britt has a gift for cutting through the shame we carry about our behaviors.  Whether it's procrastination, burnout, people-pleasing, or codependency, she breaks down the brain-body connection behind it all and reminds us that you can't logic your way out of an emotional process. If you've ever felt frozen, overwhelmed, or trapped in your own patterns, this conversation is a lifeline. What you'll hear about in this episode: How to define the 'first step' to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck Britt explains why we can't think ourselves forward  We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what's happening and determining the resources available to help right now  Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking  Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children's psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Britt's website Britt on Instagram Britt's book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/    

Over the next month, I'll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September!  This week's encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we're digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it's just as relevant today — especially if you're navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women's issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn't optional when you're healing, it's essential. What you'll hear about in this episode: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn't  The effects of gaslighting on a victim's mental health  Dr. Kelley addresses the question, "Is lying gaslighting?"  You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing  The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting  What self-care looks like during the healing process  Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused  Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio's Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Dr. Kelley's websiteDr. Kelley on InstagramNYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

If you've been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you're alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It's called the Abuser's Playbook. And if there's a playbook for them, there's a playbook for you, too. In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn't about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back. The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you'll hear about in this episode): Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what's actually theirs Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control ➡ Download The Survivor's Playbook at KateAnthony.com/playbook Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveHow He'll Likely React Bingo card Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-333-if-theres-a-playbook-for-them-theres-a-playbook-for-you/  

Why are women's health concerns still being dismissed and what can we do about it? The healthcare system was not built for women. For many of us, especially in midlife, our health concerns are dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored. And when you're navigating the storm of divorce at the same time as perimenopause or menopause? It can feel like you're unraveling.  I'm joined by Phoenix Rising member Kathy Gould, a holistic health coach, personal trainer, life coach, lactation consultant, and current grad student finishing her second Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. (I'm telling you, the women in Phoenix Rising are BADASS!) This episode started as a guest expert session inside Phoenix Rising (my divorce empowerment collective for women). The conversation was so powerful, I knew I had to bring it to the podcast. Kathy and I get into why the medical system has failed women, how we've been gaslit about our own bodies, and what it looks like to take our power back especially during times of massive upheaval like divorce. We are not meant to go through this quietly, and we are certainly not meant to go through it alone. What you'll hear about in this episode: Why women's health is dismissed, especially in midlife (6:11) The deep need for more open, supportive conversations around our wellness (12:14) The long-standing misconceptions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) (16:41) What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time (35:15) How to advocate for yourself when doctors aren't listening (especially if they're covered by insurance) (41:59) Learn more about Kathy Gould: Kathy is an integrative holistic health coach, life coach and personal trainer. She is also a certified lactation consultant. She holds a Masters Degree in Health Psychology and is currently finishing a second Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Kathy is passionate about women's health and wellness and has dedicated her career to women's physical and emotional wellness. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kathy's websiteKathy on Instagram NY Times Article: Women Have Been Misled About Menopause Menopause Barbie on YouTube: Dr. Barbara Taylor =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-332-divorce-menopause-and-medical-gaslighting-with-kathy-gould/  

Have you ever felt like if you don't do it, it just won't get done? Like the relationship, the parenting, the emotional glue that holds everything together is your job? You might be an overfunctioning woman and this episode is your loving (but no-nonsense) invitation to finally let it go. I'm joined by Dr. Ashley Southard, a licensed marriage and family therapist with over two decades of experience, who has lived the overfunctioning pattern in her own life and now helps women heal from it. We talk about what it really means to carry more than your fair share in a relationship, and how that relentless push to keep things going (when your partner won't meet you halfway) can cost you your sanity, your health, and your sense of self. If you're tired, burnt out, and wondering why your relationships feel like so much work, it might be time to stop proving your worth and start receiving real love. And if your partner doesn't rise when you stop overfunctioning? That's information. The question becomes: what are you willing to do about it? Here's what else we discuss in this episode: What overfunctioning really is and how it's even rooted in emotional labor and patriarchy (4:10) How underfunctioning shows up in a partner (think: not pulling their weight emotionally) (12:42) Why an overfunctioning woman needs an underfunctioning partner (17:56) How to begin healing from overfunctioning by stepping back, tolerating discomfort, and rebuilding a relationship with yourself (20:07) What it means to become a Self-Restored Woman: As Dr. Ashley says, "A woman who no longer works for breadcrumbs and knows she's worthy of a feast." (32:42) The Great Rest: what your nervous system does when you finally stop overfunctioning (36:52) A few small but powerful first steps if you're starting to identify with this pattern and want to make a change (40:07) Learn more about Dr. Ashley Southard: Dr. Ashley Southard is a psychotherapist in Scottsdale, AZ, specializing in The Overfunctioning Woman in Love who is struggling with the confusing, exhausting, and lonely dynamics of a one-sided, unfulfilling love relationship. With over 20 years of clinical experience treating complex trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship issues, coupled with her own personal journey out of Overfunctioning, Dr. Ashley loves nothing more than creating an emotionally safe space for women to discover that they are not 'crazy' or 'broken'…and that they have the power to become the Self-Restored Woman they were always meant to be! Dr. Ashley is also very active on Instagram, offering life-changing information to "make sense out of the nonsense." She has amassed a strong following of women who are remembering their power, learning how to come back home to themselves, and healing in community with other Self-Restoring women. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveDr. Ashley's website =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-331-the-overfunctioning-woman-with-dr-ashley-southard/

I'm joined once again by Laurie James for a conversation that bridges nervous system healing, somatic experiencing, and attachment work. If you've ever felt overwhelmed or disconnected in relationships, this episode will help you understand why and what to do about it. Laurie isn't just a coach and author, she's someone who's done the deep work to regulate her nervous system after divorce and heartbreak. In this episode, she shares how her body responded completely differently to a recent breakup, not with panic, but with presence. That's what nervous system healing looks like in real time. We also dig into attachment styles: how to identify your own, how they show up in anxious or avoidant behaviors, and how somatic work can support real change. Most importantly, we talk about how to stop trying to fix or override your system and start building safety within it. This is about meeting yourself where you are and knowing that real healing is possible. Here's what else we discuss in this episode: What somatic experiencing actually is and how it supports healing (7:31) How your autonomic nervous system operates and what shifts when you engage it intentionally (9:42) The connection between nervous system regulation, somatic work, and attachment styles (16:52) How Laurie's recent breakup differed from her divorce (and why it matters) (40:44) Practical strategies for working with an avoidant or anxious attachment style (46:45) Learn more about Laurie James: Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie's podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go. Laurie's book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble. Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire. Resources & Links: The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate Laurie's websiteLaurie on Instagram Laurie's podcast Laurie's Beginner's Guide to Somatic Healing =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-330-attachment-styles-amp-somatic-healing-with-laurie-james/