I can still hear her screaming. Three and a half years later, in the quiet moments when my house is still and everyone’s asleep, I can hear that primal, desperate wail that tore through my chest and left a hole that’s never quite healed. She was eighteen months old. Tiny fists clenched around my shirt, her whole body shaking with the force of her terror. “MAMA! MAMA!” she screamed, reaching for me as the social worker pried her from my arms. I stood there in my driveway, frozen, my arms still...
“Teaching my teen to independently regulate before bed to help him sleep. Sticking to a bedtime routine with a teen when schedules are all over the place.” This message landed in my DMs yesterday, and my heart immediately went out to this mama. If you’re fostering teens, you already know the bedtime battle is nothing like what the parenting books describe. I’ve been there – wondering if the “expert” sleep advice I’d read had ever been tested on a kid whose nervous system was permanently set t...
If you’ve ever found yourself whispering “I just can’t do this right now” — and then immediately feeling guilt for even thinking it — this episode is for you. As foster moms, we learn early on how to stretch our hearts beyond what feels possible. We say yes when others might say no. We hold space for heartbreak, navigate uncertainty, and pour love into children who may not stay forever. But what happens when the calling that once brought life to your soul starts to feel heavier than you can c...
As foster and adoptive moms, we sign up to hold space for big emotions — ours, our children’s, and often the system’s. But what happens when your child’s emotional world collides with your own? When their anxiety, anger, or attachment behaviors stir something deep within you — and suddenly you’re not sure who needs the comfort more: them, or you? You’re not alone. Many of the moms I work with in the Fearless Fostering community describe this season as “emotionally disorienting.” You want so b...
Every once in a while, a post comes through our community that stops me in my tracks. A foster mama recently shared about her sweet little one—let’s call him Aiden—who’s been with her since he was just a week old. He’s 20 months now. He’s her joy. And soon, he may be leaving. Reading her words—about anticipatory grief, exhaustion, the stress of parenting multiple children with high needs, and a marriage stretched thin—I felt the ache that only foster moms truly understand. It’s the ache...
There’s a kind of heartbreak that doesn’t get talked about enough — the quiet, complicated grief of a relinquished or failed adoption. The world often doesn’t have a name for it, but you do. You know what it feels like to have hoped, to have attached, to have planned… and to have it all unravel. Maybe you were days away from finalization when everything shifted. Maybe you made the incredibly brave, gut-wrenching decision to say “no” because your family simply couldn’t meet that child’s needs....
This week, I'm sharing what I've been Reading, Eating, Playing, Obsessing over, Recommending, and Treating for the month of September...including admitting what made me cry at the EPCOT firework show...only God can judge me! Haha! Join the Foster Mama Lifeline Community Here Grab my Freebies and other Resources Here The Bookish Life of Nina Hill book Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and I'd be SO grateful if you'd leave a review so more foster and adoptive mamas can find it! :)
Foster parenting is one of the most beautiful, heartbreaking, stretching, and transformative journeys a person can take. It’s a path filled with late-night calls, endless paperwork, uncertain outcomes, emotional highs, and devastating lows. And while so many foster moms step into this role with open hearts and the best intentions, the truth is: fostering can sometimes feel like too much. That’s not because you’re not strong enough. It’s because foster parenting is uniquely demanding—ment...
If there’s one word I hear over and over again from foster moms, it’s this: guilt. We feel guilty for not doing enough, for not being enough, for wanting rest, for saying no to one more visit, one more placement, one more request from a caseworker. And when we do say no, we often sit with the heavy weight of second-guessing ourselves: Am I letting someone down? Am I failing as a foster parent? But here’s the truth: boundaries are not selfish — they are essential. Without them, foster parentin...
One of the hardest parts of parenting children from hard places is the constant question: am I doing the right thing? Every decision feels weighted: Do I push or do I give grace? Do I set the boundary or soften it? Do I make the accommodation or hold steady? If you’re parenting a child with trauma or anxiety, you’ve likely asked yourself these questions on repeat. And you’re not alone. Recently, one of the mamas in my Fearless Fostering community shared something that hit home for many ...
Let’s be honest — most foster parent training programs are designed to check a box. They’re full of important information, but they often leave out how it actually feels to be a foster parent. If you’re a foster parent or considering becoming one, you’ve probably heard something like: “Just complete your training hours, pass your home study, and you’ll be ready to welcome a child into your home.” But here’s the truth: Foster parent training is just the starting line — not the full playbook. A...
One of the things I’ve come to love the most about creating content is pulling back the curtain a bit. Foster parenting, motherhood, and entrepreneurship can be so intense sometimes—and while I’m always here to support you through the hard parts, I also love sharing the things that bring me joy, comfort, and just a little bit of fun. So today, I’m kicking off this month’s R.E.P.O.R.T., where I walk you through a few of my favorite things lately: what I’m reading, eating (or drinking), playing...
There’s this unspoken pressure in motherhood — and especially in foster motherhood — to be the “fun mom.” The one who always has energy, creativity, smiles, and Pinterest-worthy crafts. The mom who never seems to lose her cool and always has time for play. But what happens when that’s not you right now? What happens when life feels heavy, and you can barely summon the strength to get through the day, let alone make it magical? Let’s talk about that. Click here to join the Foster Mama Lifeline...
And why you were never meant to carry it alone.There’s a lot of talk about the logistics of foster care.The background checks. The home studies. The training hours.Even the bedtime routines and trauma-informed parenting techniques.But what no one really talks about — at least not out loud — is the emotional load that comes with foster parenting.It’s not just heavy.It’s complicated.And most days, it’s completely invisible to everyone but you.If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the weight ...
And why I built Fearless Fostering to give it to you.When I got the call for our first placement, I wanted to feel ready.I had taken the classes. I had read the books. I had organized the bedroom.But when that little one crossed our threshold for the first time…I realized how much I wasn’t prepared for.Not because I didn’t care.But because foster care is not just logistics.It’s a thousand emotions at once — grief, love, guilt, hope, anger, fear — and no roadmap for how to hold it all.I create...
I'm answering your foster care questions today on the podcast, including what to do when your kids need more of you than you can give, how to prepare for a new placement, and how to process the grief of goodbye.Learn more about my Fearless Fostering group and join here: https://fearlessfostering.selfcarebestie.com/fearless-fostering
There’s a moment in nearly every foster mama’s journey that hits harder than expected.It usually doesn’t happen during licensing classes or even during the first hours of welcoming a new child. It happens after a few days, when the adrenaline wears off and real life kicks in. When the child starts showing signs of trauma. When your biological kids start acting out. When the caseworker misses their visit or when the bio parent sends a letter that leaves you in tears. It’s then that you realize...
Pediatric dietician and foster mama Madison Tyler joins me on this week's episode to share some signs that your foster or adoptive kiddo might be struggling with trauma-related food issues and how to solve them. If you'd like to learn more from Madison, you can follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/nourishwithconnection/
If you’re a foster mom, chances are you’ve found yourself in emotionally charged, high-stakes moments more than once—moments where your child is melting down, or a visit doesn’t go as planned, or something triggers your own trauma. These are the moments when your nervous system goes into overdrive, and every part of you wants to react.But here’s the truth: Regulation always comes before connection. And that means you must be grounded before you can effectively support your child.In this post,...
Foster care isn’t static — it’s a system that’s constantly shifting based on politics, policy, funding, research, and public awareness. And in 2025, we’re already seeing some significant changes that every foster parent (especially moms on the frontlines) should be aware of.Whether you’re new to fostering or have had multiple placements, these updates matter. They impact how long kids stay, the kind of support you receive, and how you advocate for your family and your foster child.Let’s break...