The Gender Reveal Party - The Real Reveal Podcast

I have worked with Hailey Sault as their executive coach for many years. Mike Seyfer is one of the few CEO’s I’ve met that consistently walks his commitment to equity, and he uses his privileged voice to keep showing up for marginalized humans on this planet.   It has been my honor to speak at the “Believe in Better” events hosted by Hailey Sault, and it was again my honor to sit down with Mike and the ever-powerful Ann Elkins to shine some light on Transgender humans and their experience with healthcare in the United States.   One of the most frustrating parts of being a transgender human is that our experience is not validated in the world. I can’t tell you how many times something blatant has happened to me and when I share with others what I hear back is, “really!!! That happened to you, I just can’t believe it” Yes Really!   Yes Really, it took me four times of being told directly, “we don’t work with transgender people” or “those people” before I found someone willing to be my GP.   Really, we were told by three fertility clinics that they wouldn’t work with us.  Really, when I was advocating for a young transman that had 16 cysts in his ovaries…. Really, it took him bleeding for months of pain before a Dr. would give him a prescription for a medically necessary hysterectomy. A surgery he wanted anyway.   And yes, Really when he finally got to the hospital for said hysterectomy, the surgeon refused to perform the surgery because “she” might want to have babies someday.   Instead that surgeon inserted an IUD adding to the pain of the young transman.   And then yes Really, it took me calling every gynecologist in town to get someone willing to see him and then finally take care of him the wat he should have been taken care of in the beginning.   For transgender humans to get good healthcare in our country, it always takes extra work, extra time, and extra money. Part of systemic discrimination is putting barriers up for access to the basic necessities of life--knowing that people will just give up when it’s too hard or too scary. Transmen have a higher rate of ovarian cancer than most cis gender humans. This is due, in part, because many transmen, butches and masculine expressed non binary humans are not interested in the humiliation that comes with their legs in stirrups. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is to go to the office and then potentially be treated like a freak. The last time I went in for a pap smear, I had to remind the nurse to give me a gown because the look of me had her so befuddled she forgot what I was there for.   All this to say we have a long way to go to make safe spaces for all humans especially in the area of healthcare and it I am grateful to Mike Seyfer, Ann Elkins and the whole Hailey Sault team for their consistent action toward their commitment to their mission of creating a healthy world for all people.   I hope you enjoy this podcast episode of the Believe in Better Podcast and keep following their work. These days we have to be very conscious of what we focus on. The truth is, there is more good happening in the world than bad; we just can’t see it because the bad gets all the press. Knowing that what we focus on always expands, it’s a perfect time to start focusing on Believe in Better.

You can't talk about gender and the queer community without talking about drag. In fact, if you don't know this, the queer movement was started at a bar in New York City called Stonewall. Stonewall was a riot that happened when the police had continually broken and busted into this bar and arrested people over and over and over again. These people were being brutalized back then; you couldn't even wear a piece of clothing that was the opposite gender without possibly getting arrested for that and so finally these people decided that they had had enough and they fought back. We honor our trans women, drag queens, and butches every year when we celebrate Pride, when we celebrate the beginning of this movement but all the time drag is something that's important to this community and has a rich, rich history. When I first moved back to Lawrence, Kansas I started hearing about this human and this drag queen by the name of Deja Brooks. I soon found out that Deja Brooks aka Brandon Eiseman has become a community fixture. She's a leader in our community, people look to her, and invite her places to help them promote things. It's pretty cool that this young human has turned drag into something that our community loves, that our community appreciates and now that our community has had exposure to in a powerful way. Anytime that I witness him performing and the way that our town responds to him, it blows my mind because I know that what that means is that it makes space for those younger people. So I honor him and I honor his work and once again, I thank him and all my friends for coming and sharing their stories.

C. Alexandria-Bernard Thomas is a Queer Black Non-Binary, award-winning poet, teaching artist, an advocate for Child Abuse Prevention, the LGBTQIA community, and Mental Health Awareness.  Their work as a community organizer has afforded them opportunities to educate adults on how to respond and react to Child Sexual Abuse through Darkness to Light's Stewards of Children® and becoming a board member for Touch Me I’m Tellin (TMIT). In addition, they have received honorable mentions from World Childhood Foundation USA, Buddy Speaks, End the Harvest Ministries, publications by The Zebra, and more.  They are a true force of nature and a necessary voice for uplifting the community and inspiring hope. Witnessing them perform, teaching in the classroom, or speaking is experiencing love in action.  Check out what they're doing and find their book, Reclamation, at www.iamcthomas.net Follow them on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boldlycthomas

A few years back I read an article about "Theybies", babies born to parents who refused to tell the world the "sex" of their child and used they/them pronouns. At the time I thought, "Wow, what a brave and generous thing to do for a child, to let them decide what their "gender" is."    I am happy to say that in today's episode I get to interview one of those brave and generous parents.  I'm so inspired and encouraged by her and her husband's stand to allow their children to choose their own gender identity. Pegah Naemi Jimenez is a really powerful person. I am happy to have her as a new friend and even happier to share her story with you. Introducing Pegah Naemi Jimenez.    Each week a new interview will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.   These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

I'm excited to share my friend Anthony Barnett with The Gender Reveal Party Podcast. He's a strong ally to the LGBTQIA+ community and a local business owner of Home Sweet Home Dog Resort here in Lawrence, Kansas for over 18 years. Not only does Anthony share his experience of being an "other" as a cisgender male and his work with therapy dogs, we discuss the masculinization of human beings, extinction bursts and stereotypes. You can learn more about Anthony's Symbiotic Behavioral Treatment Center here: symbioticbtc.org Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

This interview is way over due. I had the glorious pleasure of sitting down on zoom with my friend Kate Bornstien last summer and then I couldn't find the interview. My deep apology to Kate for taking so long to get this interview out. So much has changed and happened since we talked. Kate Bornstien is the pioneer of pioneers. She has been on the leading edge of the gender conversation since the early 90's when her book "Gender Outlaw" came out. While this book may be a little dated, it is still a leading edge conversation and challenge to gender roles and the concept of gender itself. Her contribution to the gender queer community cannot be overstated. Kate is a personal hero to me and to many of my friends who were inspired and gifted her work as we were struggling to come out. She is a gift to our community and I am so blessed to know her. Please welcome to the show Kate Bornstein.  Check out what Kate is up to here: http://katebornstein.com

I want to welcome my good friend and Pastor of my former church Rev. Rachel Cornwell, who is the Pastor at Dumbarton UMC in Washington, D.C. In an environment where transgender and gender-diverse children are being targeted for political purposes, Rev. Rachel Cornwell, a Methodist pastor and mother of a transgender son, has written a beautiful and helpful book for parents looking for guidance and hope that all children are going to be OK. Rachel shares her journey as a parent of a transgender child, the story of her son exploring his gender at age five and she reads a poem out of her new book, Daring Adventures: Helping Gender-Diverse Kids and Their Families Thrive. You can purchase her book, Daring Adventures here: https://actapublications.com/daring-adventures-helping-gender-diverse-kids-and-their-families-thrive/Find Rachel on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/rachelacornwellFor book readings and events, follow the Daring Adventures Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089039545283 Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: ⁠https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty⁠ Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

A shout out to all my Butch brother and non-binary humans who walk through this world as an "other". And big Love to all the Femmes that helped me realize I am a decent looking butch and not an ugly woman.

Hello friends, We are back with The Gender Reveal Party Podcast! Thank you for indulging my extra long hiatus. We have an extra special guest for our return, and I am so excited to share this with you all. He is the Author of All Boys Aren't Blue and We Are Not Broken. George M. Johnson's young-adult memoir All Boys Aren't Blue has become one of the most banned books in the U.S. It's a young adult memoir discussing their adolescence growing up as a young Black Queer boy in New Jersey through a series of powerful essays. Why is this book getting banned? That's a good question. Grab a copy of All Boys Aren't Blue here https://iamgmjohnson.com. Aside from being a #1 best selling author, George M. Johnson is a prominent journalist and LGBTQIA+ activist. George was listed on The Root 100 Most Influential African Americans in 2020. The Out 100 Most Influential LGBTQ People in 2021. And in 2022 was honored as one of the TIME100 Next Most Influential People in the World. I can't begin to express what an honor it is to have had George M. Johnson share their story and their time with us. With over 200 anti LGBTQ bills being brought up in US legislation last year, these topics are more important now more than ever. We appreciate George giving us their valuable time and are even more appreciative for who they are for the queer community and especially for the kids.

It's an inspiration when the top female athlete on the US Marshal Arts Fighting Team decides to make their transition to their most authentic self. My guest on this week's #therealreveal has a gift of supporting Cis Gender Men around bringing Positive Masculinity to the world. He is a world renowned athlete, a Guinness World Record holder, transgender activist, author, speaker, the list could go on. This person is a new friend to me and someone I am excited and delighted to bring onto the podcast. Welcome, Mac Scotty McGregor. To learn more about the Positive Masculinity project Mac Scotty McGregor co-founded with his wife, check out his website: https://macsmcgregor.com For more information on the upcoming workshop on how to be a Masculine Feminist: https://macsmcgregor.com/services/workshops/the-masculine-feminist-150239397 Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

My next guest is a local friend that I am grateful to know. She is a musician, poet, and para educator that loves teaching and is dedicated to educating people on better understanding the conversations they’re a part of. This year, she will be hosting Words Save Lives, an event that takes place on World Suicide Prevention Day in Lawrence, Kansas, intended to work on helping every person experience life with a sense of being valued, and a sense of belonging. I hope you will listen as she shares her journey of navigating gender, gender stereotypes and overcoming life’s obstacles to make a difference in people’s lives. It is my honor to have her on the show and learn from her. I am happy to introduce you to my friend Ana Cranberry. I would like to ask my audience for support for my dear friend’s gender affirming surgery, as I personally know how life changing that can be. More information can be found here: https://gofund.me/019c8998. Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Today more than ever all of us need to remember what it was like for women who had the courage and the boldness to step into business that was historically all male dominated. We've moved so far so fast that we forget that it wasn't until 1974 that women could get a credit card in their name.  Our guest was one of those pioneers. She is  still challenging assumptions and creating spaces for all people to thrive and find power in their lives.  She is someone whose work I admire and who's lived experience I loved learning from. Please welcome my friend Laurie Battaglia to The Gender Reveal Party Podcast. You can find Laurie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriebattaglia Sign up for her newsletter, The Wake Up Call: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/the-wake-up-call-6893941199141441536/ Check out her website: https://alignedatwork.com Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

As a bonus episode to the end of Pride month, I think it's important to talk about some of the folks in the LGBTQIA+ community that don't get as much air time. Folks that identify as Pan sexual for example are part of our community but little is talked about opening and or explained much. In this episode my guest generously lets us in to her world and her story of coming to know herself as a pan sexual person, what that means and why it matters to her to be "OUT" about it. I think you will enjoy this exploration of sexuality, gender and relationship orientations. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Katie Dixon. Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

It's the last week of Pride and in this episode we are celebrating moving from surviving to thriving and the opportunity to create ourselves as our most authentic. I hope you listen and consider being part of making my best Pal's dreams come true. Listen to find out more. https://www.gofundme.com/f/ypr6q-top-surgery Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Imagine raising a baby drag queen that has STAR written all over him. That's the lived experience of our next guest and I'm delighted to have this story to share during Pride month. Tune in to hear how a 7 year old has already chosen his drag name, is working on learning sewing and dance, and is currently prepping for his first Pride performance. His mom is here to tell his story and hers.  I've always appreciated this woman but after this conversation she exponentially rose in my esteem. I'm so grateful she is part of my community. It is my joy to introduce you to my friend, Lindsey Slater Diepenbrock. To watch the Confetti Delish debut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnW3hz0XVFg For more information about the upcoming Pride performance, check out the event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/388163379867360 Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

It's the second week of Pride and I'm joined today by my friend Aurora Higgs. Aurora has been here before and I always love and appreciate her insights. Today we talk about the origin of Pride, how it started, where it has gone and what's next. I hope you enjoy listening. Happy Pride To learn more about what Aurora is up to, check out www.aurorahiggs.com Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Pride started as a riot, a stand off; It was the beginning of revolution that is still ongoing. I'm still pinching myself that I got to sit down with this next guest. And even more blown away and delighted that this is our first episode of pride month. As far as I'm concerned she is the queen of all Femme's, and her late Butch hersband Leslie Feinberg was one of my greatest heros. These people changed my life forever as a young butch in my 20's, through their art and through their tireless commitment to be "OUT" as leaders in the gender revolution. I felt so honored to be in her presence and to have her share about her new book of poetry, Leslie, and their love and life together. I hope you love this person as much as I do. Please welcome Minnie Bruce Pratt. To learn more about what Minnie Bruce Pratt is up to, check out her website here: https://minniebrucepratt.net Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

Today I turn 56 years old and my birthday is always the kick off of Pride month. I hope you enjoy this mini bonus episode where I share about my Birthday and my journey to transform it from fear and loathing, into Pride. Thanks for listening, Love you bye, Jay Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

If you aren't interested in hearing anything about spirituality you may want to skip this episode. My guest this week is someone new in my life that I am just getting to know, but I am excited to introduce you to. This human's perspective and mine are in sync about spirituality, the divine, and our unique roll in the world as trans individuals. You will hear the word God referenced in this episode as we both agree that spirituality really is the most important thing. And we make a big distinction between religion and spirituality. This person is bold and Godfident and I am refreshed in their presence. It is my joy to introduce you to Dr. Scholar Lee. You can find more information about what Dr. Scholar Lee is up to here: www.drscholarlee.com and www.transparentlifeconversations.com Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing. These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.

When I first met my next guest  they were a Drag King favorite in a troupe called Puss N Boots. They identify as a Gender Queer Butch Dyke and has walked in the world as an out Butch for decades. They have a  commitment to being fully self-expressed and encouraging conversations around gender and gender identity. In this interview Kimberly and I share  the powerful dynamic of being a butch with a femme and the  impact it has on our confidence and character.  It is my great pleasure to introduce you to my favorite GQ Butch, Kimberly Keese.   You can find more information about what Kimberly is up to here: www.beyondpronouns.com  Stock up on goat and sheep cheese here: https://www.oldchathamcreamery.com  Show your support for these conversations and have the opportunity to join them here: https://patreon.com/thegenderrevealparty  Each week a new episode will be released with another human being that has something to say about gender. My goal is to convey that gender is a construct that was all made up and it’s way more fluid than any of us can fathom. Gender and genitals are NOT the same thing.   These weekly stories are about gender reveal.  I hope that you will soak up the stories of our guests and share them with an intention to educate others and love the differences. It’s been my calling for years to love the transphobia out of our human systems.  Thanks for sharing in my purpose.