The Grounded Union Podcast

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we touched on the fundamental misunderstanding most couples have about conflict - it's not about communication styles, it's about unhealed pain. Brandon and Caitlyn dismantle the myth that arguing stems from everyday disagreements like where to go to dinner, revealing instead how betrayal trauma, broken trust, and prolonged disconnection create explosive emotional reactions. They share their personal transformation from a cycle where Brandon's porn addiction triggered defensive responses and Caitlyn's pain was met with minimization. The breakthrough came when Brandon learned to lean into her pain rather than run from it, using specific body language techniques and their "Comfort Flow" method that prioritizes emotional validation over fact-correction, ultimately transforming adversaries into teammates. This episode is full of hard-won wisdom, emotional insight, and actionable tools for any couple ready to stop avoiding conflict and start using it as a gateway to deeper intimacy. Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive, with lodging and meals included! (October 10th-13th)Maui Intensive: Tap here to applyLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notifiedGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Two Types of Conflict: The conversation opens with the distinction between everyday disagreements and conflict rooted in deeper wounds like betrayal or broken trust.00:04:57 – Playing the Victim Card: How viewing yourself as society's casualty rather than your spouse's betrayer keeps you trapped in defensive cycles that destroy intimacy.00:07:13 – The Gift of an Angry Wife: A new perspective emerges—an angry or frustrated wife is still engaged and willing to fight for the relationship, which can be seen as a gift of insight into her heart.00:12:38 – A Counselor’s Pivotal Question: A powerful moment hits home when a counselor bluntly asks if Brandon’s actions made him an “asshole,” prompting honest self-reflection.00:16:50 – Fight or Flight State: Caitlyn explains how betrayal discovery triggers panic and trauma, comparing it to being physically attacked.00:20:54 – The Childish Argument Metaphor: Brandon uses the example of children fighting to illustrate that conflict can be a momentary outburst that, when handled constructively, can lead to a quick resolution.00:22:41 – Grounded vs. Ungrounded Responses: Two core responses to a partner's pain are introduced: a grounded, powerful approach and an ungrounded, passive one.00:26:59 – The “Mr. Pain” Bodyguard: Brandon introduces a mental picture to help men handle a partner's intense emotions by visualizing a "bodyguard" that helps them see the emotion as their partner's pain, not a personal threat.00:28:31 – The Comfort Flow Tool: Introduction to their structured conversation template for processing pain and moving toward repair.00:31:02 – The Problem with Robotic Apologies: Empty “I’m sorrys” are traced back to childhood conditioning—why they fail and what’s needed instead to repair real pain.00:36:36 – Setting Up the Comfort Flow Example: They roleplay how to walk through the Comfort Flow when a spouse is newly devastated by a betrayal—showing what to say and what to avoid.00:42:02 – The Source of Relationship Conflict: Brandon summarizes that relationship conflicts stem from underlying pain and separation, not surface issues like dinner choices, emphasizing the need to address root causes.

In today’s episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, discover how anxiety can silently sabotage your marriage and the small daily habits that can set you free. Brandon opens up about his years of crippling anxiety and the coping mechanisms that masked the problem: endless scrolling, gaming, and withdrawing from family life. A breaking point came with a 40-day fast and a panic attack that forced him to face the truth. Caitlyn brings a powerful perspective on why so many couples lack the emotional vocabulary to navigate these struggles, and how that gap fuels disconnection. Together, they share practical strategies, from naming emotions to practicing embodied exercises like breathwork and cold showers, that create space for real intimacy. If stress and avoidance are stealing joy from your marriage, this conversation offers both validation and a roadmap toward lasting peace. Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Maui Intensive: Tap here to applyLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notifiedGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:29 – Introduction: Brandon and Caitlyn frame anxiety as a hidden barrier to emotional safety in marriage.00:01:54 – The Gut–Emotion Connection: Brandon explains how unresolved emotions often show up as digestive issues and physical stress.00:02:34 – Video Games as Escape: He admits that gaming and scrolling became his way to numb out and regulate emotions.00:03:51 – The Waterfall Analogy: Brandon shares a mentor’s picture of how entertainment only pauses anxiety but never resolves it.00:04:47 – Rest vs. Entertainment: Caitlyn challenges the idea that zoning out with screens equals rest, calling it avoidance.00:07:01 – Running from Emotions: She explains how people chase addictions to avoid the emotions they don’t want to face.00:09:21 – The Real Struggle in Marriage: Brandon reflects on how marriage and kids amplified his anxiety by removing alone time.00:13:00 – Panic at the Airport: He recounts collapsing in Portland Airport under stress, marking a breaking point.00:14:07 – Emotional Illiteracy in Childhood: Caitlyn highlights how many weren’t taught to name or process emotions growing up.00:19:02 – A Turning Point: Brandon introduces “deliberate practice in a controlled environment” as a key to healing.00:20:00 – Emotional Response Training: He describes his daily practices—cold showers, breathwork, and miming—that reshaped responses.00:23:00 – From Anxiety to Rest: Through embodiment routines, Brandon learned to find calm and see Caitlyn’s strength as support.00:28:03 – Simplicity of Healing: They close by showing how simple practices and rewired beliefs unlock peace and freedom.

This week on The Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen expose the myth that dates are the key to a healthy marriage. Through their own story, they reveal that while they went on many dates during the most tumultuous years of their marriage, their deepest connection was forged in the last five years, a period with very few dates. The episode offers a new perspective on what it means to be truly connected, emphasizing that intentionality in everyday moments is far more powerful than a weekly dinner out. Brandon and Caitlyn provide actionable advice, such as confronting hidden secrets and eliminating distractions like screens, to rebuild a relationship from the ground up. They also highlight the power of nature and physical touch to restore peace and intimacy. Tune in to learn how to create a marriage where every day is enjoyable and peace is the norm.Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Maui Intensive: Tap here to applyLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notifiedGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Introduction: Brandon opens with a vision for what most couples long for—true peace and connection—and sets the stage for why that often feels out of reach.00:02:32 – The Date Night Myth: The hosts challenge the belief that prioritizing frequent date nights is the key to a strong marriage, sharing how their most tumultuous years were filled with them.00:05:07 – Date Night ≠ Connection: A comparison emerges between date nights and “punching your church card”—they're not inherently bad, but they don't guarantee real relational growth or peace on their own.00:08:34 – Dates as a Cherry on Top: Caitlyn reframes their perspective, explaining how they experience daily "dates" through intentional everyday moments rather than scheduled romantic outings, with the date being the cherry on top of an existing connection.00:12:09 – The Magnet Analogy: The powerful analogy of magnets explaining how hidden secrets and unresolved issues act as a repellent force, preventing genuine intimacy and connection.00:17:26 – The Power of Nature for Connection: Discussion turns to how outdoor time naturally regulates emotions and fosters connection, contrasting sharply with life in "insulated boxes.”00:18:09 – Screen Detox: The transformative impact of removing screens from daily life gets revealed, offering listeners a powerful strategy for bridging relationship gaps.00:22:31 – What to Talk About: Brandon and Caitlyn offer practical advice on how to fill your screen-free time, suggesting conversations about your day, parenting, and addressing past sexual brokenness.00:23:59 – Their Nightly Connection Ritual: A glimpse into their evening routine featuring candlelit couch time in a screen-free environment designed to nurture both physical and emotional intimacy.00:30:30 - Shared Intentions and Future Plans: The conversation concludes with insights on discussing shared goals, beliefs, and future aspirations as foundation stones for stronger partnership bonds.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into why addiction relapse is so devastatingly common and how couples can break free from this destructive cycle forever. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share their raw journey through five years of repeated relapse before discovering the root-level healing that changed everything. They reveal why surface-level solutions fail and introduce their "roots and rewiring" approach - examining childhood trauma, spiritual beliefs, and life paradigms that keep people trapped. The hosts emphasize getting to the core wounds rather than just managing symptoms, challenging listeners to treat addiction recovery not as minor adjustments but as a complete life transformation. Most provocatively, they advocate for total transparency between spouses - sharing every secret, memory, and struggle without exception. Their message: true freedom isn't about willpower or accountability groups, but about digging deep into your story, rewiring your thoughts, and creating the life you actually want to live rather than one you need to escape from.Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Maui Intensive: Tap here to applyLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notifiedGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Why We’re Talking About Relapse: Brandon introduces the episode’s focus on why relapse to addiction is so common, sharing their personal five-year journey through relapse and the importance of healing at the root level.00:01:50 – Relapse Cycle and Surface-Level Healing: The historical pattern of getting caught, crying, apologizing, seeking help, and repeated relapse over months to years00:04:13 – The Need for Root System Work: Caitlyn discusses their realization that staying on the surface level with addiction was not working and that they needed to "dig way deeper" to get to the root of the issue.00:07:15 – First Root Category - Childhood Exploration: Why deep, sustainable change comes from exploring past wounds and patterns with curiosity instead of shame.00:14:55 – Tracing Addiction Back to Childhood Origins: The importance of identifying when and how addictive behaviors first appeared in childhood, and many addictions—whether porn, alcohol, food, or work—are intertwined and rooted in early experiences.00:17:06 – Second Root Category - Spirituality: How spiritual beliefs—especially from Christian upbringings—can create paradigms that normalize or even excuse relapse.00:19:32 – Third Root Category - Personal Paradigms: Assessing your beliefs about yourself, your marriage, and your ability to achieve freedom from addiction.00:22:58 – Living Free from Relapse: What it looks like to live a life free from relapse, based on their own last five years of sobriety.00:26:34 – The 30-Day Rewiring Process: Brandon details the exact steps he took over 30 days that rewired his brain and eliminated his compulsions.00:32:49 – The 4R's Technique: Brandon introduces their practical rewiring tool - Recognize the thought, Receive peace in your body, Release the old pattern, Replace with new behavior.00:34:53 – The One Thing Nobody Told Us: Sharing absolutely everything - every memory, thought, current struggle, and past experience without exception.

In today’s episode of Grounded Union Podcast, discover how to distinguish between surface-level apologies and genuine transformation. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen tackle one of the hardest questions couples face: “Does my spouse truly want to change?” Through raw personal stories of repeated betrayals, false starts, and painful honesty, they highlight the subtle yet powerful signs of authentic change. From nervous system regulation to the hard work of transparency, this episode sheds light on both red flags and green lights for anyone navigating broken trust.Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Season 2, Episode 4: Caitlyn explains that when partners ask if change is possible, it’s usually about deeper wounds, not just curiosity.00:01:37 – Brandon quotes, “When the pain of staying is greater than the fear of leaving, that’s when people choose change.”00:02:43 – What Real Change Requires: They emphasize that transformation is measured by consistent investment, not by promises or workshops attended.00:03:39 – Two Destructive Responses: How passivity and defensiveness sabotage connection and keep couples stuck.00:05:30 – Stuck in the Same Cycle: They reflect on years of repeating the same wounds despite therapy, church, and community.00:07:05 – Caitlyn’s Breaking Point: Another betrayal in 2019 forces Caitlyn to question if their marriage could truly survive.00:08:43 – Radical Intimacy Defined: Caitlyn sets a new standard for union: no hiddenness, no secrets, no separation.00:10:30 – Brandon Commits to Change: He agrees to strip away distractions and fully reorient his life toward healing.00:11:41 – The Six-Month Window: Real transformation requires months of consistent effort, not instant results.00:16:01 – Daily Work Over Quick Fixes: Healing came through daily accountability and practice rather than weekend intensives.00:20:00 – Radical Transparency Builds Safety: True intimacy deepened only when Brandon confessed even the “small” lapses consistently.00:26:02 – Defining a Shared Vision of Union:  Both commit to exclusivity, honesty, and a clear standard for their future together.00:35:00 – Choosing Who You Want to Become: Focus less on “how” to change and more on “who” they want to become.

This week on The Grounded Union Podcast, discover how Christian disciplines like prayer, fasting, and Bible reading—despite being foundational practices—sometimes fall short in saving marriages. Hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen bravely share their journey from passionate missionaries with an impeccable "spiritual resume" to facing severe marital struggles, exposing the dangerous gap between spiritual disciplines and emotional maturity. Despite daily Bible reading, prayer, fasting, multiple church services, and even Brandon's 40-day fast, their marriage was crumbling with addiction, betrayal, and disconnection. They reveal how Western Christianity's segmented approach creates fragmented lives where spiritual practices become escape mechanisms rather than tools for authentic intimacy. This episode challenges listeners to stop hiding behind religious performance and start doing the real work of integrating shadow parts of themselves. A paradigm-shifting conversation that offers hope to couples who've tried everything "spiritual" but still feel emotionally distant from their spouse.Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:📍San Diego, CA – In-Person & Virtual (SOLD OUT)🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Introduction and Resources: The hosts introduce the episode's central question and their intention to share their own story of struggling despite practicing Christian disciplines. They invite listeners regardless of their faith background, and highlight available resources like the Grounded Nation men's community app and the Maui 3-day Marriage Intensive.00:01:57 – How We Met and Early Marriage: Caitlyn begins sharing how she and Brandon met as missionaries in Ecuador, bonded over their shared vision for ministry, and eventually got married.00:03:16 – The Vision for Ministry and Marriage: Brandon elaborates on their early vision to be lifelong missionaries, rescue women from sex trafficking, and start orphanages.00:07:24 – The Spiritual Resume: They emphasize their "spiritual resume" of church, prayer, fasting, and discipline, and how it ultimately didn’t prevent their disconnect.00:10:14 – The Segmented Christian Life: Many Western Christians live "segmented" lives, separating their spiritual self from their practical and relational selves.00:18:20 – The Gospel's Invitation to Face Pain: The gospel isn't an excuse to ignore pain but an invitation to face it, heal, and integrate every part of oneself.00:23:09 – Freedom from Cuffs: True freedom is possible if one uncuffs themselves from limiting belief systems and steps into the hope and love of Christ.00:24:47 – What Must I Do?: The common question about earning freedom challenges the idea that spirituality is about achieving or attaining.00:29:44 – The Shadow Parts of You: What is often labeled as "temptation" or "sin nature" is the unintegrated "shadow parts" of oneself that need to be welcomed and healed.00:33:54 – God is in Every Moment: Dismantling the idea of separation from God; God is present in every moment of life.

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, Caitlyn and Brandon Doerksen honestly navigate the difficult experience of betrayal and the long journey toward restoring safety and trust in their marriage. Season 2 opens with the couple addressing their most requested topic: how to heal when trust is shattered. Caitlyn shares her vulnerable story as the betrayed spouse, including years of repeated deception and the critical moment she established firm boundaries. Brandon explores the difference between passive and active betrayal and emphasizes that good intentions are not enough without true inner transformation. Together, they explain why wounded partners shouldn’t be expected to maintain composure, how denial covers up deeper wounds, and why many couples get caught in destructive cycles. Filled with raw storytelling and practical advice, this episode is a must-listen for those seeking hope after betrayal.Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:📍San Diego, CA – In-Person & Virtual (August 22nd & 23rd)🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:29 - Season 2, Episode 2: Brandon and Caitlyn open up about healing betrayal, rebuilding trust, and their journey to healing together.00:01:51 - Active and passive betrayal: Brandon explains the difference between overt actions like cheating and more subtle forms like emotional withdrawal.00:06:00 - Repeating deception cycles: Caitlyn shares the exhausting pattern of betrayal and false recovery that led to long-term trauma.00:09:00 - False promises and deeper harm: Brandon reflects on how surface-level commitments and dismissing Caitlyn’s intuition created further disconnection.00:20:06 - Movement as healing: Caitlyn explains how walking, swimming, and nature helped her process pain and regulate her nervous system.00:25:00 - Redefining real union: Caitlyn challenges performative marriages and emphasizes that true partnership requires mutual truth and commitment.00:31:31 - Reconnecting through embodiment: Brandon shares practical tools—cold showers, breathwork, and movement—that helped him feel again.00:34:16 - Emotional awakening as a couple: Caitlyn highlights the importance of both partners choosing to prioritize healing and emotional presence.00:40:10 - Trust takes time to rebuild: Brandon explains how rebuilding trust is an ongoing process that depends on consistency, honesty, and emotional availability.00:43:00 - Radical responsibility in healing: Brandon and Caitlyn explore how owning your part fully is key to rebuilding intimacy and lasting trust.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen dive deep into a widely debated and often shame-filled topic: being attracted to people other than your spouse. The conversation is sparked by a viral social media post that drew thousands of comments and opposing viewpoints, which the hosts read and respond to throughout the episode. They challenge the common narrative that men are "biologically wired" to be attracted to other people, arguing instead that this is a learned belief system. The discussion gets to the core of why this is such a painful topic for many couples, revealing it often stems from a lack of mutual commitment and a shared vision for the marriage. The hosts offer a surprising revelation: it is possible to create a relationship where you are only attracted to your spouse. This episode provides actionable advice on how to build a stronger, more committed union by shedding old beliefs and intentionally creating the marriage you desire. (Watch the Instagram reel that sparked this episode.)  Dates and locations for our 2025 Grounded Union workshops & intensives:📍San Diego, CA – In-Person & Virtual (August 22nd & 23rd)🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 –  Welcome to Season 2! The hosts start the season with an overview of today’s topic: attraction outside of marriage—and why it's such a hot-button issue. 00:01:40 – Is It Normal to Be Attracted to Others?: Caitlyn reflects on how taboo this conversation is, especially in Christian spaces, and shares her initial thoughts about normalizing attraction.00:06:14 –  The Viral Post Reactions: They read through viral Instagram comments: some encouraging, some skeptical, and others just plain spicy—highlighting diverse audience reactions. 00:06:56 – Recognizing vs. Being Attracted: The difference between recognizing someone is attractive and being attracted to them.00:10:07 – Why Isn’t This Message Taught?: The hosts reflect on the church's silence around emotional integrity in attraction and why this conversation threatens the status quo.  00:25:13 –  The Pinball Machine of Attraction: Every decision begins with contemplation, and even a "harmless" attraction can lead to a deeper desire for connection that ultimately causes a separation in a relationship.  00:28:12 – The Three Roots of Attraction: The core areas that contribute to attraction: past experiences, consumption, and limiting beliefs. 00:35:25 – Unpacking the "Biologically Wired" Argument: Brandon and Caitlyn dismantle the argument that humans are "biologically wired" to be attracted to others by explaining that what we're exposed to and what we consume shapes our beliefs. 00:47:43 – Desire, Disconnection & Avoidance: Brandon reflects on how Caitlyn’s full-hearted devotion exposed his own avoidant behavior and emotional disconnection, and why that pattern was painful to confront.00:56:23 –  This Wasn’t Easy—But It Was Worth It: This level of transformation was born from deep pain and discomfort, especially in the wake of betrayal.

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the real story behind how lasting change happens in marriage—and why you can’t force your husband to change. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share raw, vulnerable insights from the darkest seasons of their relationship, when betrayal, denial, and disconnection ruled their home. Caitlyn unpacks the painful truth that no ultimatum or strategy could transform Brandon—he had to choose healing for himself. Together, they explore how patterns of shame, hidden behaviors, and avoidance sabotage intimacy and what it really takes for a man to reclaim emotional presence, empathy, and integrity. You’ll learn why confronting uncomfortable realities, setting immovable standards, and choosing embodiment over numbness is key to rebuilding trust and true connection. This episode isn’t just about saving a marriage—it’s about becoming fully alive in it.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual) 📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Intro and Season One Recap: Brandon introduces the end of season one, highlighting key themes and insights shared throughout.00:01:02 – Upcoming Couples Workshops: Information about their in-person workshops in Portland, San Diego, and an intensive retreat in Maui.00:02:09 – Who’s Responsible for Change in a Marriage?: Brandon and Caitlyn introduce the central question of the episode—who is responsible for change in a marriage, and what does it look like to go from feeling powerless to creating lasting transformation?00:06:41 – From Denial to Acceptance: Moving from denial to a victim mentality and finally taking responsibility for his role in the marriage breakdown.00:09:15 – Taking Responsibility for Pain and Change: How both partners must take responsibility for their actions, behaviors, and pain, even if the other partner has caused hurt.00:20:21 – Holding a Clear Vision for Your Marriage: The importance of maintaining a strong vision for the marriage and clearly inviting your spouse to rise into it.00:23:13 – Choosing Your Marriage from Power, Not Fear: The importance of staying together because of a shared vision rather than fear of being alone or financial dependence.00:25:21 – Avoiding the Toxic Middle Ground: How couples often settle for a disconnected marriage to avoid the stigma of divorce, highlighting the importance of true intimacy.00:29:07 – Now is the Best Time to Heal: There is no perfect time to start healing your marriage, and begin immediately by removing distractions and focusing inward.00:36:39 – Healing the Childhood Fear of Responsibility: How childhood punishments influence our adult fears around accepting responsibility, and how stepping into ownership fosters intimacy and connection in marriage.

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into why your relationship might feel emotionally dry, disconnected, or just… flat. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen unpack the hidden layers behind emotional distance in marriage, including avoidance, passivity, self-protection, and performance. They get vulnerable about the moments their own relationship hit rock bottom—and what it took to rebuild true connection. From understanding the impact of unresolved stress to small, intentional steps like eye contact and getting out into nature, they offer practical shifts that can reignite emotional presence and intimacy. With powerful personal insights and grounded, relatable guidance, this episode helps couples stop drifting and start engaging again. Whether you're just starting your healing journey or feeling stuck in a cycle, this one is packed with real tools to help you reconnect with your partner and yourself. Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Intro & Workshop Announcements: Brandon introduces the topic of emotional disconnection and shares updates about upcoming workshops in Portland, San Diego, and Maui.00:03:00 – Recognizing the signs of disconnection: The warning signs that show your relationship may be disconnected, based on their own experience at rock bottom.00:06:25 – How Screens Secretly Disconnect You: The unseen ways constant media exposure creates emotional distance.00:12:01 – Choosing Connection Over Convenience: The rewards of choosing real-life connection over digital distractions.00:18:02 – The Impact of Reducing Media Consumption: How eliminating media consumption from their lives created a more positive, present family environment and reduced unnecessary stress.00:25:40 – Daily habits to stay connected: Simple, achievable practices that maintain emotional intimacy daily.00:32:36 – The Power of Deep Conversations: How removing distractions allows for deeper conversations about childhood, belief systems, and personal secrets that can lead to a deeper connection.00:34:16 – Choosing Connection Over Entertainment: The importance of choosing genuine connection over entertainment, offering a challenge to couples to have real conversations beyond TV and movies.00:35:08 – The Impact of Light on Your Well-Being: How artificial blue light disrupts your circadian rhythm and how to regulate your environment with natural light to improve overall health and connection.00:42:30 – Why you don't need big gestures: How consistent small actions outweigh occasional grand gestures.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the often-overlooked but truly transformative shortcut to healing your relationship: your emotions. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share how tapping into your emotional world—through bodily awareness, movement, and vulnerability—can radically accelerate trust, connection, and intimacy. They dismantle the idea that men are “wired” to be emotionally detached and instead show how emotional numbness is learned (and can be unlearned). With personal stories, practical guidance, and gentle truth-telling, they walk you through what it looks like to feel again, on purpose. If you're tired of repeating the same patterns and ready to finally move forward together, this one’s for you.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Intro: Brandon kicks off Episode 7, introducing the topic of emotional vulnerability as the shortcut to healing relationships.00:00:53 – Men, Emotions, and Misconceptions: Why many men were never taught how to navigate their emotions—and how that keeps relationships stuck.00:03:14 – Your body is telling the truth: How your nervous system and body sensations carry emotional signals we often ignore.00:10:01 – The Glass Cup That Didn't Break: Brandon and Caitlyn recall a symbolic moment during a breakdown—a glass that breaks the wall but not the cup, mirroring Brandon’s emotional shutdown and unbreakable numbness.00:14:10 – Fight/flight/freeze: What’s your pattern?: How the nervous system reacts in conflict and how to spot your default mode.00:20:11 – The Emotional Response Training Exercise: The hosts explain a practical tool: write about a present and past emotional experience, then mime out that emotion physically to reconnect with it. 00:23:24 – Why Most Men Are Emotionally Shut Down: How societal conditioning from childhood trains boys to disconnect from their emotions and why relearning that emotional grid is key.00:27:28 – “The Dailies” Exercise for Couples: A powerful tool for reconnecting emotionally as a couple, involving naming feelings and memories and affirming each other without judgment.00:33:00 – Embodiment: The Secret Weapon for Grounding: How breathwork, movement, and nervous system regulation practices like “heel pounding” and “shaking it out” help men stay grounded during intense emotional moments.00:39:05 – Taking responsibility and refusing to be a victim: Even amid betrayal, Caitlyn chose not to be a victim and actively took steps toward healing, nourishment, and accountability.00:43:23 – How to validate your partner using the connection flow: Brandon introduces the “connection flow,” a structured method for listening, reflecting, and validating your spouse's emotions without minimizing or fixing them.00:51:14 – Listen, reflect, ask: The final steps of the connection flow—how to validate your partner by listening, reflecting, and gently asking if there’s anything you missed.00:54:00 – Coming Fully Alive in Your Body: They encourage couples to stop being passive and invite one another into a living, breathing, emotionally vibrant relationship.

In this episode of the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into part two of Navigating Sexual Brokenness in Your Relationship, where Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen explore how to move beyond surface-level struggles toward true healing and intimacy. From overcoming shame and addiction to rebuilding trust and emotional connection, this episode is packed with raw truths and hard-earned insights. The Doerksens challenge common narratives around sexuality, break down where addictive behaviors come from, and share how they rewired their relationship from the inside out. Whether you're in the thick of healing or ready to take your relationship to the next level, this one’s a must-listen.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Start your journey with a 14-day FREE trial Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Intro: Brandon and Caitlyn kick things off with a behind-the-scenes moment and introduce part two of the sexual brokenness conversation.00:03:34 – Your sexuality is meant to bring you closer: Brandon reframes sexuality as a powerful tool for connection, not destruction, and why most couples miss this. 00:04:59 – Escaping Pain Through Counterfeits: They explore how people turn to porn, fantasy, and objectification when they don’t feel safe enough to pursue real intimacy with their spouse.00:07:12 – Brandon's turning point: What changed when Brandon finally committed to healing in 2019-2020. 00:13:16 – Fantasy vs. Authentic Sexuality: Caitlyn explains the massive difference between indulging in fantasy and cultivating real, connected sexuality within marriage. 00:22:00 – Seeking Approval Through Sex: Brandon explains how many men chase approval through sexual attention, often choosing fantasy because it feels "safe" compared to facing possible rejection from their spouse. 00:32:54 – You Weren’t Born Wired This Way: How cultural, spiritual, and childhood narratives “wired” men to objectify, and how unplugging those wires leads to freedom. 00:39:10 – Intentional Media Detox: The couple breaks down how consciously removing visual media helped rewire Brandon’s thought patterns and eliminated curiosity-based temptation. 00:42:31 – The Power of Being Known: They discuss how emotional intimacy and feeling truly “known” by your partner brings healing to sexual brokenness. 00:48:01 – Facing the Pain Is the Only Way Through It: Avoiding the pain doesn’t work—freedom only comes when you face it head-on, together.00:50:46 – Join the 8-Week Experience: Brandon and Caitlyn share their upcoming 8-week course, which teaches the exact process they used to rewire their marriage and experience deep connection and sexual wholeness. 

In this episode of the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into navigating sexual brokenness in your relationship. Hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen openly discuss their personal journey from sexual brokenness and hidden struggles to complete freedom and intimacy. They challenge common narratives about sexuality—particularly the idea that attraction outside marriage is inevitable—and share how rewiring the brain through honest communication and intentional practices can lead to profound healing. Brandon reveals the surprising clarity he's found after overcoming his compulsions, while Caitlyn provides powerful encouragement and practical advice for navigating pain and finding deeper connection. Listen in for a candid conversation that encourages growth, trust, and understanding in your relationship! Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (just a few days from now!)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Start your journey with a 14-day FREE trial Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Welcome & Event Announcements – In-person workshops are happening this year!00:03:00 – Understanding sexual brokenness: Brandon and Caitlyn define what sexual brokenness means and why it’s crucial for couples.00:10:10 – Overcoming shame: The hosts discuss the barriers of shame in relationships and how to address them.00:18:45 – Communication tips: Actionable advice on how to communicate about intimacy with your spouse.00:22:15 – Going Deeper into Brokenness: Caitlyn highlights the need to explore hidden layers beyond obvious behaviors like pornography or affairs.00:33:40 – Brandon’s Breakthrough: Brandon details his struggle and revelation that freedom was possible after deeply exploring his sexual history.00:42:30 – Exploring emotional intimacy: Why emotional connection is just as important as physical connection in building sexual wholeness.00:44:15 – Practical Healing Steps: Brandon and Caitlyn share the four-step method (Recognize, Receive, Release, Replace) that led to Brandon's lasting freedom.00:55:00 – Actionable advice for couples: Practical steps to take toward sexual wholeness.00:57:19 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways – Caitlyn advises wives on how to support their husbands through painful revelations and emphasizes self-care during the process.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, Brandon and Caitlyn dive into a topic that many couples struggle with but rarely talk about—spiritual bypassing. They break down how faith can sometimes be used as a shield to avoid addressing deeper relationship problems, leading to emotional disconnection and unresolved conflicts. They share personal stories of navigating addiction, faith, and marital struggles, offering both hard-earned lessons and practical steps for couples looking to build a stronger foundation. If you've ever been told to "just pray about it" when facing real relationship challenges, this episode is a must-listen. Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (a few weeks from now!)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Start your journey with a 14-day FREE trial Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:00 – Welcome & Event Announcements – In-person workshops are happening this year!00:02:00 – Caitlyn’s Story – Caitlyn recounts an Easter Sunday experience that revealed problematic church messaging about purity and temptation.00:05:50 – What Is Spiritual Bypassing? – A breakdown of how faith can sometimes be used to avoid real emotional work.00:07:42 – Our Personal Story – How they used religious beliefs to cope with addiction and relationship struggles—and why it didn’t work.00:14:30 – When Prayer Isn’t Enough – The importance of action alongside faith when facing real marital challenges.00:21:05 – The Wake-Up Call – A pivotal moment that forced them to confront their issues head-on.00:30:20 – Finding a Healthy Balance – How to incorporate spirituality into marriage without avoiding the tough conversations.00:41:10 – Practical Steps for Couples – Actionable advice on how to break free from spiritual bypassing and cultivate a stronger, more authentic relationship.00:50:15 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways – Wrapping up with key lessons and advice for couples struggling with this issue.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, Brandon and Caitlyn dive into a conversation most couples never have—but desperately need to: how childhood patterns shape adult relationships—often in ways we don’t even realize. They explore how men unconsciously expect their wives to "mother" them, how women often feel emotionally exhausted in their relationships, and why unspoken family patterns continue to shape marriages years later. Brandon shares his own wake-up call, and Caitlyn explains the boundaries that helped break free from unhealthy cycles. They also provide deep conversation prompts to help couples unpack their past, understand each other on a new level, and start creating a marriage that’s free from old, inherited patterns. This episode is packed with insight, practical tools, and a whole lot of aha moments. If you want a healthier, more intentional marriage, this episode is a game-changer.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (a few weeks from now!) 📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual) 📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:00 – Welcome & Event Announcements – In-person workshops are happening this year! 00:01:55 – You Didn’t Marry Your Mom – How childhood patterns unconsciously shape marriages. 00:05:25 – Brandon’s Wake-Up Call –  The realization that changed how he saw himself as a husband. 00:09:50 – Why We Repeat Family Patterns in Marriage – And why most of us don’t even notice we’re doing it. 00:14:35 – Men Who Confide in Their Moms Instead of Their Wives – How this creates disconnection in marriage.00:20:15 – How to Break the Cycle – The key steps to moving from parent-child dynamics to true partnership.00:26:40 – What Real Ownership Looks Like – How men can step up without feeling like they’re “losing control.”00:32:55 – Setting Boundaries Without Shame – Caitlyn shares how she set limits without resentment or guilt.00:35:40 – Conversation Starters for Couples – Deep questions to ask each other tonight.00:42:50 – Final Thoughts & Next Episode Preview – Why emotional ownership is the next big step.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the moment we realized traditional marriage advice wasn’t cutting it—like, literally getting booted from a counselor's office kind of not cutting it. What do you do when the experts tell you to settle for “good enough” healing? Spoiler: You don’t settle.We share the wild stories of counselors who downplayed our marriage struggles, labeled Caitlyn as “too demanding,” and insisted that lifelong sexual brokenness was just... normal.We unpack how denial sneaks in, why radical honesty is the only way to real intimacy, and what happens when you clean house—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yes, even digitally. If you've ever felt stuck cycling through the same old advice and getting nowhere, this episode is the call-out and the call-up you didn’t know you needed.Prepare yourself: no more secrets...Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:00 –  Welcome back! Updates on live events and why this episode picks up where Episode 1 left off.00:02:30 – The Counselor Showdown – Brandon shares the story of getting kicked out for wanting full transparency.00:06:10 – "Codependent" and Other Mislabels – Caitlyn discusses why women seeking healing often get wrongly blamed.00:11:40 – The Myth of "Men Will Always Struggle" – Why one counselor’s hopeless advice was the final straw.00:16:20 – The Problem with Too Many Voices – How limiting outside opinions helped Brandon stop minimizing his behavior.00:23:00 – No More Secrets – The power of sharing everything (yes, even the ugly stuff) to rebuild true intimacy.00:30:15 – Facing Denial Head-On – Why denial is the shield keeping you stuck—and how to break it down.00:36:45 – Thank You & Goodbye to Denial – The process Brandon used to acknowledge, release, and move past old patterns.00:44:20 – The Purge – What it looked like to spend 30+ days clearing out every hidden secret and starting fresh.00:51:40 – When Life Falls Apart (For the Better) – Why things might get worse before they get better—and why it’s worth it.01:00:05 – Your Invitation – Brandon and Caitlyn invite you to join the same radical healing journey they took.

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen pull back the curtain on the painful and transformative journey of their marriage. From youthful naivety to a devastating breakdown in 2019, they reveal how hidden struggles, denial structures, and deep-seated beliefs about love and sexuality nearly tore them apart. Brandon's years of deception—justified by religious paradigms—led to a cycle of betrayal and broken trust, while Caitlyn stood firm in her standards for intimacy and transparency. Together, they share how they dismantled toxic cycles, faced their deepest wounds, and rebuilt a marriage based on radical honesty and genuine connection. If you've ever wondered if true healing is possible after betrayal, this episode is your proof that it is. 💛Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trialWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: For couples working through broken trust, tap here for more infoFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksenYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments00:00:28 – Welcome to the Grounded Union Podcast! Brandon and Caitlyn introduce their story and the importance of honoring your own marriage journey.00:01:30 – The early years: Getting married young, checking all the “right” boxes, and still feeling unprepared.00:02:39 – The first betrayal: Caitlyn discovers Brandon looking at inappropriate content—not porn, but still a breach of trust.00:04:09 – Lies, emotional shutdown, and living a double life while in ministry.00:07:04 – The toxic five-year cycle: Lies, promises, and repeated betrayal.00:10:56 – "It’s all the same at the root": Why all forms of betrayal, big or small, stem from unhealed traumas and cultural mindsets.00:16:36 – 2019: The breaking point. Caitlyn draws a line—no more lies, no more empty promises.00:21:02 – Denial structures: How men justify their behavior and why breaking through requires total honesty.00:25:07 – The painful truth: If you don’t face reality, the cycle will continue.00:32:51 – Holding the standard: Why Caitlyn refused to lower her expectations, and how that saved their marriage.00:40:14 – A pivotal moment: A Christian counselor exposes his own biases, leading Brandon to choose his marriage over broken male paradigms.00:45:44 – The decision: Brandon finally commits to total transparency and healing.