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The Hook Up

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The Hook Up is about love, sex and relationships. We answer your questions, learn things together, cry over heartbreak and normalise shit. Every Tuesday Dee and Pip debate your dating dilemmas and hear your cooked stories. Every Thursday it's the sex ed you never had — we call on an expert to go deep and find answers with Dee.
513 Episodes
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Are you using dating apps, or in a relationship with someone you met online? Well, new global research found that couples who met through a screen aren’t as happy, satisfied, in love, or committed as those who met irl. So what’s going on? Dee chats to co-author of the study Adam Bode about their results and unpacks the research further with Associate Professor Gery Keranzas.SHOW NOTES:Read the full study hereDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
All over the globe, birth rates are falling and hitting critically low levels like we’ve never seen before. From the state of the economy and political/gender divides to fertility issues and climate change, we investigate why you’re choosing not to have kids - and what might happen if our population keeps aging.SHOW NOTESBirth rates are falling in Australiahttps://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/from-economy-to-health-what-lower-birth-rates-could-mean-for-australias-future/t1wbdnzuxWorld fertility rates in 'unprecedented decline', UN sayshttps://www.bbc.com/news/articles/clynq459wxgoCradle To Grave - Freakonomics podcasthttps://freakonomics.com/podcast/why-arent-we-having-more-babies/Young women are leaving men behind (and not only at uni)https://www.afr.com/policy/economy/young-women-are-leaving-men-behind-and-not-only-at-uni-20240924-p5kcyjWhy Women Are Weary of the Emotional Labor of ‘Mankeeping’https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/28/well/family/mankeeping-definition.htmlHousing crisis statshttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-04-06/the-rent-crisis-behind-australia-s-two-faced-cities/105118328#Women are still doing more domestic labour than men despite working morehttps://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/how-is-it-that-many-men-still-arent-pulling-their-weight-at-homeWhy Humans Are Vanishing - Kurzgesagt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBudghsdByQPaid parental leave Australia - ABChttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-17/fact-check-australia-paid-parental-leave/11270456?utm_source=chatgpt.comDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Ever struggled to get hard during sex? Or maybe you had an erection but then you lost it?In this ep, we find out why erectile dysfunction happens, how to navigate it, and how to talk about it with a partner. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Princess treatment or bare minimum, “may this love find me” and the rejection of nonchalance are just a few dating trends going viral atm. We investigate the way social media is changing our expectations of relationships - whether it’s raising the bar or making it even more unrealistic and out of touch.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Mycoplasma genitalium or Mgen is an STI most people don't know exists - and yet it's super common and can be very difficult to treat due to antibiotic resistance. We chat to Professor Catriona Bradshaw covering everything from stats and symptoms, to getting tested and treatments.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Ever gone out with someone who ended the relationship but still watches your every move online? You might have a ‘lurker’ - someone who’s told you they’re not interested in dating or even flat out ghosted you but is still the first person to watch all your stories and like your content. You tell us why you either hate or secretly love them, and we hear from self confessed lurkers as to why they stick around.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
So many of you asked us how squirting happens, whether or not it’s actually pee and how to make it happen – so sex educator Georgia Grace answers all of your questions about squirting. SHOW NOTES:Georgia Grace InstagramSmall Squirting StudySquirting Prevelance Study DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
There’s a lot of pressure on people with penises to be packing heat - but is having a big dick all that it’s cracked up to be? We hear your hot takes about size, girth, big egos and how “boyfriend dick” is where it’s at.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Ever wondered why anti-depressants can impact your libido? Why your penis curves to the left (or right)? What causes thrush? Or how contraception affects your fertility? It’s science week, so in this ep we answer all your sex, love, and body related science questions with Dr Eva Jackson. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
From queefing, squirting and best positions for orgasm, to eating pussy for the first time, prepping for anal and getting out of your head during sex - world famous pornstar Angela White answers all your questions and we get her top tips on how to up your intimacy in the bedroom. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Everyone’s talking about the rise of AI, but what about AI and sexism?Author and journalist Laura Bates has spent years investigating how technologies like chatbots, deep fakes, sex robots, and the Metaverse are perpetuating a culture of misogyny and violence against women.In this ep, Dee chats to Laura about what the research shows, what toxic dynamics she found in her investigation, and how we can stop this tech being built into our futures.SHOW NOTES:1800 Respect: 1800 737 732Lifeline: 13 11 14Laura Bate’s book - The New Age of SexismDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Whether it’s for friendship, therapy or sexual and romantic relationships, AI companions are becoming way more normalised. So what does this mean for the way we relate and date people irl? We investigate the rise of AI relationships and hear how you’re using it in your own love lives.CW: discussion of mental health and suicideSHOW NOTES:Mental health and AI companionshttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-01-07/ai-chatbot-husbando-waifu-relationships-romance-psychology/104701556Reddit - My Husband Wants To Open Our Marriage To His AI Girlfriend https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1ltm60b/aio_my_35f_husband_36m_wants_to_open_our_marriage/Can ChatBots Substitute Real Human Romance?https://theconversation.com/computer-love-ai-powered-chatbots-are-changing-how-we-understand-romantic-and-sexual-well-being-234054NY Times podcast - She Fell In Love With ChatGPT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tXmc_cYW9Y14 Year Old Boy Takes His Life After AI Chatbot Encourages Himhttps://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/oct/23/character-ai-chatbot-sewell-setzer-deathAI Companion inciting Sexual violence, abuse, terror attackshttps://theconversation.com/an-ai-companion-chatbot-is-inciting-self-harm-sexual-violence-and-terror-attacks-252625DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
When it comes to professor student relationships, a lot of people argue ‘if everyone’s an adult’ and ‘if everyone’s consenting’ there’s nothing wrong with the dynamic. But Author Madison Griffiths disagrees. In this chat with Dee Salmin, Madison unpacks her new book Sweet Nothing which explores four women’s experiences dating and sleeping with their professors - and how gender and power imbalances make the relationships so much more nuanced than consent. SHOW NOTES:LifeLine: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Dating your best friend’s ex, boss/employee relationships, celebrities and fans, dating with a huge age gap - there are so many relationships that are considered forbidden and taboo. We hear from you on what it’s like to date someone you feel like you have to hide.CW: discussion of domestic violence.If this episode brings anything up for you, help is available: 1800 RESPECTDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
If you struggle with finishing too quickly during sex (aka premature ejaculation) sexologist Cam Fraser is here to help. In this ep, we find out why it’s the most common sexual issue to affect men, what causes it, and how to deal. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Does the order in which you’re born impact your compatibility with a partner? According to ‘research’, opposites attract eg. first borns work are best paired with last borns, and if you’re both the eldest/youngest - it’s chaos. But is Birth Order Theory legit? We investigate the latest Tiktok trend with your stories and some research of our own.SHOW NOTES:Birth Order Theoryhttps://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/dating/birth-order-dating-theory.htm#pt1Norwegian study into birth order and marriage successhttps://epc2006.eaps.nl/papers/60249Dr Kevin Leman’s on birth orderhttps://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/who-you-should-marry-based-on-your-birth-order-a7513656.html#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20study%2C%20the,to%20be%20a%20power%20struggle.Study into how birth order doesn’t affect compatibilityhttps://www.demogr.mpg.de/papers/working/wp-2020-017.pdfDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
If you’re keen to explore consensual non-monogamy or open up your relationship - this ep is for you! Psychologist and Author Dr Chris Cheers chats to Dee about his own poly identity, how he navigates having a husband and a partner, and shares his advice on how to do non-monogamy ‘ethically.’ SHOW NOTES:ABC iview Compass Episode - Beyond MonogamyDr Chris Cheers Instagram DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
Is Everyone ENM Now?

Is Everyone ENM Now?

2025-07-0733:32

Seeing the term ‘ENM’ in dating app bios? Noticing your friends are opening up their relationships? Ethical Non-Monogamy is on the rise in young people, so in this ep we find out from you how it’s going - the good, the bad and the horny. SHOW NOTES:ENM explained: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-04-27/inside-lives-polyamory-ethical-non-monogamy-enm-ethics/105216136https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-sunday-hook-up/ethical-non-monogamy-open-relationship-polyamory-enm-dating-apps/13624808ENM on the rise: https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/27639-millennials-monogamy-poly-poll-survey-dataDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
A lot more people are adding terms like ‘dom’ or ‘sub’ or ‘switch’ to their dating app bios - so what does it mean? Dee chats to sexologist Lauren French about how to add power play into your love life and how to spot a ‘fake dom’.SHOW NOTES:1800 Respect - 1800 737 732LifeLine - 13 11 14More info on powerplay and sex: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-sunday-hook-up/power-dynamics-in-sex-top-bottom-dominant-submissive/11996290DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
What does it mean to actually be dominant or submissive in sex? Because you told us heaps of people are abusing their preference to be “dominant”, and you’re ending up physically, sexually and emotionally hurt. We explore dom/sub dynamics, hearing your stories from how it can be the best sex of your life when done right, but traumatic when done wrong. SHOW NOTES:1800 Respect - 1800 737 732 LifeLine - 13 11 14More info on powerplay and sex: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-sunday-hook-up/power-dynamics-in-sex-top-bottom-dominant-submissive/11996290DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
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Comments (14)

Mahya Bayat

I enjoyed this talk like other talks of wonderful Esther Perel! “Dating apps are for love stories not life stories” 👏🏻

Jan 22nd
Reply

Darcy MC

How can you have a fragile ego from an immutable characteristic? Women with shit takes like that unironically cause blackpilled incels.

Nov 9th
Reply

Laurie

I have a new boyfriend of 7 months, we’re long time friends so because we’re in a long distance relationship (6 hours to travel to him or the opposite, longer with bus, but not much) and I’m 42, he’s in his 40s too. I can’t sleep in the same bed, I have insomnia and nightmares from trauma so sleep is hard, he’s fine with us cuddling before sleep and for intimacy we can be in any beds. It would also be triggering to sleep with someone... I’m in Canada, I wish I could call in but Australia , is there a way to call in the show from an online platform? I love your show and discussions.

Feb 16th
Reply

Laurie

I’m incontinent and have been for years, I’m early 40s, my issues are medically linked to the decades of violence from my parents. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet, I want to talk about it in person

Feb 16th
Reply

Laurie

That was amazing to be able to talk more cleatly with my boyfriend of 7 months, friend of 8 years, long distance and pandemic so we haven’t kissed or hold each other. This was a good episode, I subscribed to the podcast, thanks for starting a discussion that as a 42 yrs old young woman. 😉

Feb 16th
Reply

rohan caddick

I heard the other day on the radio that you were going to have an episode about being too full to bang and some other stuff. then the miscarriage episode came out??

Nov 29th
Reply

Halo Man

you're dating a woman who doesnt peg you? im sorry king, you deserve better 😭👑

Jun 17th
Reply (3)

cath@cost

I’ve lived with this forever but didn’t have a name for it until my late 30s. 50% of my life is taken up with severe depression and then as soon as a period hits happy days. Incredibley frustrating. Thankyou for your episode ❤️❤️ bringing it to to light.

Feb 18th
Reply

Tayler Smith

what is that first sound track in the first few minutes? big NRE need

Sep 2nd
Reply

Adam Dawson

.,................................ .......................................... .......................................................................................................................6

Aug 21st
Reply

RyRyan Musgrave

rap music

Apr 4th
Reply
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