The Hook Up

The Hook Up is about love, sex and relationships. We answer your questions, learn things together, cry over heartbreak and normalise shit. Every Tuesday Dee and Pip debate your dating dilemmas and hear your cooked stories. Every Thursday it's the sex ed you never had — we call on an expert to go deep and find answers with Dee.

ICYMI: When Family Messes With Your Love Life

Have you ever dated someone who's family was too involved, or a bit too close? Whether it’s your own or your partners - we hear how families with no boundaries, cultural/religious differences, and mummy’s boys/daddy’s girls have messed with your love life.SHOW NOTES:An Expert’s Advice For Dealing With Toxic Families: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/families-no-boundaries-toxic-relationships-dr-lillian-nejad/105154746DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

12-15
34:33

The Biggest Moments In Dating, Sex And Relationships This Year

We’re coming to the end of a massive year covering all things love, sex, dating and relationships here on The Hook Up. From the male loneliness epidemic and the rise of AI relationships, to the rise of ENM, performative males, fake doms and boyfriends being embarrassing - we recap all the trends in news and pop culture that got you talking, plus hear your fav eps from 2025!SHOW NOTES:Hack story on AI Relationship study on relationshipshttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/ai-chatbots-accelerating-loneliness-epidemic/105931188Is Being A Pick Me Or Performative Male Problematic?https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/is-being-a-pick-me-or-performative-male-problematic-/105889546How To Actually Have A Good Threesomehttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/how-to-have-a-threesome-tips-sexologist-find-unicorn-third-sex/105315188Do I Have A Sex/Porn Addiction?https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/sex-porn-addiction-sex-addict-heide-mcconkey-compulsive-sexual-/105895896How Often Should I Be Having Sex?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ35yOTAfyo&list=PLFqO_oqoHHMzFwCWPXOj6CDpOdG3eS8cE&index=9How To Deal With Mismatched Libidohttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/mismatched-libidos-different-low-sex-drives-laura-lee-sexologist/105812842Is Everyone ENM Now?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9L7gf5TR5QHow To Do Non-Monogamy Ethicallyhttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/open-up-relationship-ethical-non-monogamy-chris-cheers-polyamory/105506070Why Are There So Many Fake Doms?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngg8KHqrSgoPeriod Farts, Cum Headaches & The Science Of Kinks w/ Dr Evahttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/science-week-sex-questions-fertility-periods-orgasms-libido-kink/105616942Science Of Squirting And How To Do Ithttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/science-squirting-orgasm-ejaculation-how-to-squirt/105643192DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

12-08
44:20

How To Tell Your Friend You Don’t Like Their Partner

If your friend is dating someone that sucks, or is downright toxic - what’s the best way to let them know? In this ep, you’ll hear from psychologist Liz Neal about how to tell someone you love that you don’t like their partner and what to do if your friend pushes you away.  SHOW NOTES:1800 Respect: 1800 737 732 Liz Neal Website: https://www.elizabethneal.com.au/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

12-04
24:30

Should You Tell Your Friend Their Partner Is Shit?

We’ve all had a friend who’s dated someone you don’t like - but is it ever your place to say something? We find out whether you should tell them (early? When you’re asked? Or not at all??), find the difference between not liking their partner vs they’re bad for your friend and why you reckon it’s important to stick around even if your friend's got rose coloured glasses on.SHOW NOTES:Lifeline: 13 11 141800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

12-01
43:59

Why We Should Normalise Sex Toys With Partners

Sex toys are an amazing way to explore pleasure and discover your sexuality - but there’s still a lot of stigma, especially when bringing them into partnered sex or if you struggle to climax without one. We chat to sex educator Georgia Grace about how to work through any internalised toy shame, and how to introduce them if you (or your partner) feel awkward.Note: we experienced some technical issues during this recording which have impacted audio quality, but feel the chat too good not to share!DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-27
32:05

Should We All Be Using Sex Toys?

Sex toys have become more accessible and normalised than ever before, but are they making your love life better? From vibrators, dildos and fleshlights to floggers, whips and gags, we hear how you’re using them with partners, we unpack vibrator shame, and discuss how the sexual wellness trend is packaging products and pleasure.SHOW NOTES:Men are buying more sex toys:https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/relationships/sex/men-are-now-buying-more-sex-toys-than-women/image-gallery/765abe10019cb43713c9f7cfcd75adf0Sexual wellness industry stats:https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/sexual-wellness-products-market-110030DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-24
46:05

The Convos All Couples Should Have Before Getting Married

Some people say one of the most important decisions you’ll make is the person you choose to marry. So how can you make sure you’re ready to tie the knot, and that they’re the partner for you?We chat to couples therapist Isiah McKimmie to find out the ‘must ask’ questions - you should be asking yourself and each other. SHOW NOTES:Isiah McKimmie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isiahmckimmie.sexologist/?hl=enIsiah McKimmie Details: https://isiah-mckimmie.com/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-19
27:54

Do We Even Need To Get Married Anymore?

It’s been a year of engagements and tying the knot for some of the biggest pop stars in the world, like Charli XCX, Lana Del Ray, Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift. And despite it being one of the oldest and most traditional ways to commit to a partner - research shows young people are more keen on getting wed than the generation before us. We hear how you feel about marriage, and whether it’s something you still wanna do.

11-17
46:53

Ancient Greek Myths Were Queer, Trans And Horny w/ Zoe Terakes

Actor Zoe Terakes (Talk To Me, Nine Perfect Strangers, Marvel’s Ironheart) is reclaiming Ancient Greek mythology in their debut novel Eros: Queer Myths For Lovers.In this episode, Zoe chats with Dee about why so many of the iconic Greek myths - from Zeus and Aphrodite to Icarus and Hermaphroditus - are really stories of queer and trans life, lust, sex, and revenge. And why it’s so important to reclaim these tales that celebrate all types of love and bodies. SHOW NOTES:Zoe Terakes Insta: https://www.instagram.com/zoeterakes/?hl=en Eros: Queer Myths For Lovers: https://www.hachette.com.au/zoe-terakes/eros-queer-myths-for-loversDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-12
31:13

Is Your Relationship In A “Roommate Phase”?

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner starts to feel less romantic, more platonic, or even like your flatmate? You might have experienced roommate syndrome. In this episode with special cohost Jordan Barr, we work out the telltale the signs of a roomie phase, unpack the reasons why it happens and debate whether we should be reframing our expectations of long term relationships.SHOW NOTES:How to get the spark back in your relationship:  https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/how-to-get-intimacy-back-in-your-relationship-emotional-spark/104535358Has social media cooked our expectations of dating? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rilv_GuNQD4Should your partner be your best friend?https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/should-your-partner-be-best-friend-soulmate-relationship/104132010DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-10
48:25

Healing From Complex Trauma w/ Stephanie Foo

We chat to award winning radio journalist and author Stephanie Foo about her memoir What My Bones Know, exploring her diagnosis with C-PTSD – unpacking how and why it manifested for her, understanding intergenerational trauma, and how she’s learning to heal.SHOW NOTES:Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 22 463613 Yarn: 13 92 76Headspace: https://headspace.org.au/Cherry Blossom Intergenerational Trauma Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3923835/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-05
08:22

Does Height Actually Matter In Dating?

Height is something you (mostly) can’t change, and yet it’s one of the most contentious dating preferences - we’re lying about it on the apps, rejecting lovers if they don’t measure up and even turning it into a full-blown personality trait. In this episode with special cohost Blake Pavey, we’re unpacking how height is affecting your love life, where this tall tale of height superiority is coming from and whether it’s as big a dealbreaker as society would like us to think.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

11-03
39:16

How To Sext And Send Nudes Safer

Do you find sexting, nudes and filming with a partner hot - but don’t know how to initiate, manage consent, deal with body confidence and understand the risks? We get advice and practical tips from sex educator Georgia Grace on how to get intimate online in a safe and sexy way. SHOW NOTES:Helplines:Lifeline - 13 11 14 1800 RESPECTMore information on image-based abuse: https://www.esafety.gov.au/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-29
32:34

Sexting, Nudes & Filming With A Partner

While you might not have reached chronic levels of being online, it’s fair to say we’re living through a screen more than ever before - so how are you doing sex and intimacy in the digital age? We find out how you feel about sexting, sending nudes and making content with your partners - and how you’re managing your digital footprint when image based abuse is on the rise.SHOW NOTES:Helplines:Lifeline - 13 11 14 1800 RESPECTMore information on image-based abuse: https://www.esafety.gov.au/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-27
38:42

How To Deal With Overthinking In Dating And Relationships

If you’re over-analysing texts, constantly questioning if your partner loves you, dwelling on their past relationships while also worrying if they’re ‘the one’ for your future - then this episode is for you. We get some expert advice from sex and relationship therapist Lauren Bradley on how to deal with overthinking in dating and relationships, how to know if you're doing it a healthy or harmful amount and how to break the anxiety pattern if it’s ruining your love life.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-22
26:35

Is Overthinking Ruining Your Love Life?

Whether it’s casual dating or locked in long term relationships, 80% of you told us that you overthink everything. We find out what that looks like for you, from chronically overthinking every text, tone of voice, needing constant reassurance and spiralling about the future - and how this kind of anxiety is affecting your love life. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-20
43:17

Do I Have A Sex/Porn Addiction?

What’s the difference between having a high sex drive, watching a lot of porn, and having an addiction to sex? That’s something we find out in this episode with sex therapist Heide McConkey who’s spent nearly 30 years working with people who have Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder. SHOW NOTES:Sex Addiction Australia: https://www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au/Sex Addiction Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/Lifeline: 13 11 14RELATED EPISODES:How Often Are You Having Sex?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ35yOTAfyo&t=491sHow To Deal With Mismatched Libidos: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/mismatched-libidos-different-low-sex-drives-laura-lee-sexologist/105812842DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-15
27:55

Is Being A Pick Me Or Performative Male Problematic?

Ever been called a ‘pick me’? It’s been a cultural buzzword for years to describe women who seek male validation by putting down other women - but have we taken the term too far? We find out what it actually means to be a ‘pick me’, why it’s a problematic label to hand out without critical thought, and explore whether the ‘performative male’ is the guy version that needs just as much scrutiny.SHOW NOTES: Pick-me girl backlash exposes a bigger issue: https://www.who.com.au/lifestyle/sex-relationships/pick-me-girl/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-13
36:38

Everything You Need To Know About Your Pelvic Floor

Your pelvic floor muscles are connected to way more than you might think - like UTIs, constipation, painful sex, orgasms, even peeing when you laugh.In this episode, pelvic floor physio Chloe Peters helps us get to know this underrated group of muscles, answers all your juicy questions about vaginismus, endo, and bladder stuff, and shares super practical tips for looking after it.SHOW NOTES:Chloe Cox - pelvic floor physiotherapist @chloe_thepelvicphysio DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-08
36:07

Are Soulmates Real And Are They Ruining Our Dating Lives?

The idea of a soulmate might sound like a fairytale, but plenty of people still believe in finding that perfect match. In this episode we dive into your soulmate stories - from romantic to platonic - and ask the big questions: can you have more than one? Do soulmates happen by fate, or are they made over time?DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

10-06
44:12

Darcy MC

Back to comment again, ironic that both regular hosts have a height fetish, a great personality trait you share with corporate board rooms, yikes.

11-13 Reply

Mahya Bayat

I enjoyed this talk like other talks of wonderful Esther Perel! “Dating apps are for love stories not life stories” 👏🏻

01-22 Reply

Darcy MC

How can you have a fragile ego from an immutable characteristic? Women with shit takes like that unironically cause blackpilled incels.

11-09 Reply

Laurie

I have a new boyfriend of 7 months, we’re long time friends so because we’re in a long distance relationship (6 hours to travel to him or the opposite, longer with bus, but not much) and I’m 42, he’s in his 40s too. I can’t sleep in the same bed, I have insomnia and nightmares from trauma so sleep is hard, he’s fine with us cuddling before sleep and for intimacy we can be in any beds. It would also be triggering to sleep with someone... I’m in Canada, I wish I could call in but Australia , is there a way to call in the show from an online platform? I love your show and discussions.

02-16 Reply

Laurie

I’m incontinent and have been for years, I’m early 40s, my issues are medically linked to the decades of violence from my parents. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet, I want to talk about it in person

02-16 Reply

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