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The Horror Virgin

The Horror Virgin
Author: The Horror Virgin
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What’s your favorite scary movie? Are you a fanatic or a fraidy-cat? Either way, we’ve got you covered. Each week, horror fan Paige will take Horror Virgin Todd through the encyclopedia of horror one movie at a time. We’ll discuss classics as well as fan favorites, with the occasional new release thrown in for good measure. Mikey will make inappropriate jokes and Todd will scream like a little girl at every jump scare. It’s hilarious. Prepare yourself for spoilers, tangents, and lots of irreverent fun. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @HorrorVirgin
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“I would stay in a dumpster overnight with you.”This week’s all-too-real horror movie is The Purge: Anarchy. This film has everything: Dumpster survival strategies, rich psychos in cocktail attire, and a Frank Castle stand-in that just can't shake these "hangers on." If you love movies that sound like they were written by the lyrics to a Rage Against The Machine song, this episode’s for you.Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Silent Hill? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: What Lies Beneath (2000)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“If your daughter’s in a drawer, it’s too late.”This week’s horniest horror movie is… Silent Hill. This film has everything: A giant sexy demon that just can't wait to rip everything off you. A cop whose clearly not dressed for the day she's having. And a mom thats just asking if we could tell her how to get, how to get to Silent Hill. If you love horny cosplay, questionable law enforcement fashion, and children’s theme songs reimagined for the apocalypse, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Silent Hill? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"It's only car chase I can describe as dialogue-heavy."This week’s scariest movie is... Death Proof. This film has everything: A scar that somehow makes it hotter that he’s murdering you, foot close-ups, and a theory that will have kit marlowe scratching Shakespeare's head. If you love Snake Plissken thirst, feet you didn’t consent to seeing, and the cursed brilliance of #Sorkentino, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Death Proof? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Silent Hill (2006)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Is this just Fight Club in the 80s?"This week’s most unhinged highway horror is The Hitcher (1986). This film has everything: Gas station explosions, Tyler Durden cosplay, and a Swedish-American shoulder-width that brings all the Pages to the yard. If you love shoulder theories, not know if Rutger Hauer wants to kill or fuck you, and cops doing the absolute least, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on The Hitcher (1986)? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Death Proof (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Have you never had a boba pee?"This week’s scariest road trip movie is... Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. This film has everything: A reality show where the prize is dying first. A muscle-bound host with drill sergeant energy who shoves dynamite in a dude’s overalls just to watch him pop. And a final girl redemption arc so meaty, you’ll swear this movie was funded by NAMI. If you love chainsaws, carnivore propaganda, and Papa Rollins dispatching hillbillies like they’re Nazis at a Black Flag concert, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Wrong Turn 2: Dead End?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: The Hitcher (1986)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week’s scariest movie is... Friday the 13th (2009). This film has everything: an underground tunnel empire straight out of Gummy Bears, using a machete to hack away at a public library keyboard, and a burial comparison you will not see coming. If you love quick tunnels, blunt trauma, and silent killers typing with bladed weapons, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Friday the 13th (2009)?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“It’s an R&B Blade.”This week’s coolest horror movie is... Sinners. This film has everything: A team up so legend Nick Fury would be jealous, Uncles reminding the nephew to eat, and both Michael A, and B Jordan's doing their best to protect their culture. If you love demon-slaying jazz clubs, delightful doormen named after bread, and learning that the clitoris is not in the glovebox, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Sinners?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Wrong Turn 2 (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“The monkey is basically Tommy Lee, and I'm sick of pretending not to notice.”This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... The Monkey. This film has everything: An electric detonation, A stripper face reveal that will blow your mind, and a haunted toy chimp that was just following orders. If you love flamethrower pawn shops, placenta-fueled twin rage, and Planet of the Apes energy with zero restraint, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on The Monkey?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Sinners (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“He's made of knife.” This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Terminator 2: Judgment Day. This film has everything: a corrupted Windows version of Gollum, a reality where John Connor skips leading the resistance and just lives his best life frothing lattes at a Glendale café, and a robot so anatomically gifted he can slice a sandwich with his knife-dick like he’s the deli manager at Skynet Whole Foods. If you love liquid metal weirdos, alternate destinies, and phallic cutlery, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Terminator 2?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: The Monkey 2 (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Psytopics is like R&B Dianetics."This week’s most unapologetically anti-fascist horror movie is... Freaky Tales. This film has everything: A Scott Pilgrim-style street brawl between punks and Nazis, a soft-spoken supervillain who can make a lisp sound menacing, and Sleepy Floyd, a samurai warrior who dunks on racists AND slices them in half. If you love magical realism, anarchist justice, and movies that ask, “What if vibes were weapons?”, this episode’s for you.What did you all think of our episode on Freaky Tales?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: TERMINATOR 2 (1991)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“You have the right to remain charming. Anything you say can and will be used to make me blush.”This week’s most romantically unhinged horror movie is... Heart Eyes. This film has everything: A vineyard that produces a very bloody red, A killer throuple, And a masked maniac who forces a DTR mid-murder. If you love rom-com tropes, blood-soaked meet-cutes, and horror villains who demand emotional clarity, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Heart Eyes?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Freaky Tails (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“Clyde is like child Hitler.”This week’s most unhinged horror movie is… Pet Sematary 2. This film has everything: A stepdad who swings between “respect your mother” and “shoot the family dog” energy, a cat lover who will go full Liam Neeson on anyone who touches her pet, and Anthony Edwards navigating a love scene that takes a hard left into beastial nightmare territory. If you love dead pets, unhinged dads, and movies that make you scream “WAIT, IS HE HAVING SEX WITH A DOG?!,” this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Pet Sematary II?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Heart Eyes (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"It's like watching a commercial for the board game Mouse Trap."This week’s craziest horror movie is… Final Destination 3. This film has everything: a Rube Goldberg Grim Reaper, the strangest public transportation premonition to date, and the best porn name outside of porn ever... Full Stop. If you love improbable physics, theme parks with anatomically correct devil statues, and a franchise that leans in to elaborate kills, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Final Destination 3?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Pet Sematary 2 (1992)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"She got hit so hard with a volleyball, she got sent into the ghost realm."This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2.This film has everything: A Pandora’s box hidden in a room full of capes, The most haunted art class ever, And a ghost kiss so terrible, it blows up her headstone. If you love chaotic prom energy, haunted horses, and movies that answer the question “who packed this much evil into one trunk?”—this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Final Destination 3 (2006)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"You can't breathe through your butthole."This week’s scariest horror movie is... A Quiet Place Part II. This film has everything: A baby in a Moses basket with a scuba mask, Emily Blunt flooding yet another basement like it’s her post-apocalyptic hobby, And a pirate radio station broadcasting nothing but Bobby Darin. If you love soundproof babies, damp trauma, and end-of-the-world DJs with a flair for the dramatic, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on A Quiet Place 2?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Tell me more about the time you used the dildo medicinally.”This week’s scariest movie is... Smile 2. This movie has everything: A Flatliners-style shock therapy plan that says “trauma, but make it crispy,” proof that Voss Water that might actually be a sinister organization, And a setup for Smile 3 where a stadium full of cursed teenage girls starts the smilepocalypse. If you love movies that fake you out with Pizza Hut metaphors and then kick you RIGHT in the feelings, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Smile 2?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: A Quiet Place 2 (2020)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"If your husband comes back from the woods with a virus, just pack a bag and go."This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Slither. This film has everything: a man so nice they infected him twice, A small-town countdown to deer season, and a "Backter" reveal that will blow your mind. If you love parasitic slugs, small-town chaos, and family values warped by alien hive minds, this episode’s for you!Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginWhat did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramUp Next: Smile 2 (2024)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo."This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this episode’s for you!Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginWhat did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramUp Next: Slither (2006)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"What if we turn on the death machine that gives us boners?"This week’s horniest horror movie is... From Beyond. This film has everything: a scientist who accidentally builds a machine that unlocks the horny dimension, a sentient nut sack villain with a brain-dick, and Ken Foree fighting interdimensional monsters… in nothing but a Speedo. If you love cosmic horror, body horror, and movies that make you say, "Wait, does this need more sex or less?", this episode’s for you!Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginWhat did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramUp Next: Night of the Comet (1984)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"Climb, girl, climb!"This weeks scariest movie is.... Night of the Demons. This movie has everything, A funeral home with a terrible backstory, a Spooky Strobe light Burlesque, and a hidden compartment you never saw coming. So grab your boombox, avoid mirrors, and for the love of God—CLIMB, GIRL, CLIMB!Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginWhat did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramUp Next: From Beyond (1986)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
get off the soapbox. plus the trailers showed it was vampires.
Cold open starts at 2:45
grow up. always saying oh the past had so much bad things about it to where you can't separate yourself from the time and can't enjoy the movie. you can say this about every decade. quit crying
nowadays the question would be "have you seen Shaq dj?!"
how is this a horror movie?
I myself was CACKLING at the 4th act, gawd I love this movie. 5 stars to the Pod and 5 stars to the pod, love you guys 🤩
Griz. Just named a 3rd saxophone player - boom!! 😁
I really would love to see them revisit this movie with Paige. Jenn kills the whole mood rights at the start
This pod has won me over! I listened to it a couple years ago and didn't like it. Since Paige joined the team, I think the chemistry between the group has gotten awesome! My husband and I are huge horror movies and listen together; searching out episodes to match movies we've recently watched. This has become a favorite for road trips; we laugh so hard! Keep up the great work!
Dental hygienist here. If your tooth is dry or cleaned before trying to put it back in its socket, it is less likely to survive. Putting it in milk actually helps keep the roots alive for longer to give it a better chance of reinsertion. Doesn't work on dicks tho.
this whole section had me straight up GUFFAWING
yesssssss! finally you guys are doing this incredibly bad, hilarious, awful movie!!
No one note worthy in this movie? It has Virginia Madsen! And it has the kids from The Visit. That doesn't make it a good movie, it makes me very uncomfortable and I don't like it.
I knew Chucky was on thin ice with Kyle because this girl has been on foster care her entire life
I knew Chucky was on thin ice with Kyle because this girl has been on foster care her entire life
OMG THEY LIKE A MOVIE!
I saw a community theater production of Evil Dead The Musical, and the guy who played Ash was amazing. He had real Bruce Campbell energy. I got to see him in a few shows before he moved away to New York to be a real actor.
Actual horror content: 8:30
Fatherrrrrrrrrrrrr
I know this is an old episode, but for posterity’s sake, the emaciated women at the end of the movie isn’t CG as Paige said, she’s actually played by Spanish creature actor Javier Botet.