The Horror Virgin

“This is the first time that Nicolas Cage has ever been stopped by a circle of cocaine.”This week’s nastiest toxic-boss horror movie is… Renfield. This film has everything: Corporate Dracula, Welcome-Mat Vampire Law, and the most truthful line ever yelled at the police at the beginning of a chase. If you love quitting your immortal boss, doormat loopholes, and Ben Schwartz on pharmacy time, this episode’s for you!What did you think of our episode on Renfield? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Van Helsing (2004)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“He is just shipping himself with snacks.”This week’s bougiest coffin-cruise horror movie is… The Last Voyage of the Demeter. This film has everything: a vampire who mails himself across Europe with provisions. Blood bag wisdom brought to you by Snapple. And an idea for a Dracula movie so brave it will never happen… again. If you love bougie undead meal prep and blockbuster pitches that should absolutely not be greenlit, this episode’s for you!What did you think of our episode on Nosferatu? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Renfield (2023)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“This is why we shouldn’t have made women wear corsets.”This week’s prettiest fever dream is… Nosferatu. This film has everything: a naked blood-circle fax machine. Some of the absolute worst period-accurate hair. And a villain that edges so hard when he final gets what he's after it, literally kills him. If you love moody gothic vibes, unexplainable vampire etiquette, and horny morality tales, this episode’s for you!What did you think of our episode on Nosferatu? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“My dick is encased in wax. It’s the ultimate condom.”This week’s horniest fire hazard of a horror movie is House of Wax. This film has everything: wax-on-wax violence, Quentin Tarantino’s evil twin, and smoldering chemistry only ruined by shared parentage. If you love incestual tension, foot trauma, and the slowest wax-based final fight in horror history, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Nosferatu (2024)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“He’s wearing more flair than an Applebee’s assistant manager"This week’s hungriest horror movie is… Bones and All. This film has everything: A Donkey-Kong victory dance to a KISS tune, Ethical-cannibalism campfire rules, and the most understandable abandonment you'll ever seen on the silver screen. If you love road-trip vibes, meaty metaphors, and unhinged food discourse, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: House of Wax (2005)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“I’m just impressed by the loyalty of the Funky Bunch.”This week’s most unhinged horror-thriller is… Fear. This film has everything: the unwavering loyalty of the Funky Bunch, the death of a german Kaiser, and a crew you can’t tell is a rock band or the Bling Ring…but either way, they’re showing up to your house and it’s not for rehearsal. If you love questionable life choices, possible paternal Bass Players, and home invasions with a soundtrack that slaps, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Bones and All (2022)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"You're the hottest person at your college and dumb enough to get kidnapped."This week’s most scariest horror movie is I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. This film has everything: Jamiroquai in a murder poncho, A lost live action Scooby-Doo episode. And a six-shooter that fires eight times. If you love karaoke, seafood mascots, and Jennifer Love Hewitt losing a fight to basic geography, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Fear (1996)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“If turtles are flightless birds, is lasagna a cake?”This week’s most requested horror movie is Willy’s Wonderland. This film has everything: A silent janitor with zero follow-up questions. Animatronic Pizzagate. And a haunted true crime original story of convoluted that you'd need five nights to sort it out. If you love flightless turtles, debt-era Nic Cage energy, and animatronics get curb-stomped, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“That necklace should only be viewed through a hand mirror.”This week’s scariest horror movie is What Lies Beneath. This film has everything: ghost girls with boundary issues, true crime witchcraft girlies, and a husband who invents the biggest red flag ever. If you like a movie that dares to ask the question, Can Han Solo act? This episode is for you.Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on What Lies Beneath? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Willy's Winderland (2021)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“I would stay in a dumpster overnight with you.”This week’s all-too-real horror movie is The Purge: Anarchy. This film has everything: Dumpster survival strategies, rich psychos in cocktail attire, and a Frank Castle stand-in that just can't shake these "hangers on." If you love movies that sound like they were written by the lyrics to a Rage Against The Machine song, this episode’s for you.Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Silent Hill? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: What Lies Beneath (2000)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“If your daughter’s in a drawer, it’s too late.”This week’s horniest horror movie is… Silent Hill. This film has everything: A giant sexy demon that just can't wait to rip everything off you. A cop whose clearly not dressed for the day she's having. And a mom thats just asking if we could tell her how to get, how to get to Silent Hill. If you love horny cosplay, questionable law enforcement fashion, and children’s theme songs reimagined for the apocalypse, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Silent Hill? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"It's only car chase I can describe as dialogue-heavy."This week’s scariest movie is... Death Proof. This film has everything: A scar that somehow makes it hotter that he’s murdering you, foot close-ups, and a theory that will have kit marlowe scratching Shakespeare's head. If you love Snake Plissken thirst, feet you didn’t consent to seeing, and the cursed brilliance of #Sorkentino, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on Death Proof? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Silent Hill (2006)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"Is this just Fight Club in the 80s?"This week’s most unhinged highway horror is The Hitcher (1986). This film has everything: Gas station explosions, Tyler Durden cosplay, and a Swedish-American shoulder-width that brings all the Pages to the yard. If you love shoulder theories, not know if Rutger Hauer wants to kill or fuck you, and cops doing the absolute least, this episode’s for you!Please Subscribe, Rate, and Review The Horror Virgin to help more people discover our community.What did you think of our episode on The Hitcher (1986)? Tell us on social media @HorrorVirgin or @HorrorVirginPod on Twitter.Up Next: Death Proof (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"Have you never had a boba pee?"This week’s scariest road trip movie is... Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. This film has everything: A reality show where the prize is dying first. A muscle-bound host with drill sergeant energy who shoves dynamite in a dude’s overalls just to watch him pop. And a final girl redemption arc so meaty, you’ll swear this movie was funded by NAMI. If you love chainsaws, carnivore propaganda, and Papa Rollins dispatching hillbillies like they’re Nazis at a Black Flag concert, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Wrong Turn 2: Dead End?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: The Hitcher (1986)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week’s scariest movie is... Friday the 13th (2009). This film has everything: an underground tunnel empire straight out of Gummy Bears, using a machete to hack away at a public library keyboard, and a burial comparison you will not see coming. If you love quick tunnels, blunt trauma, and silent killers typing with bladed weapons, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Friday the 13th (2009)?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“It’s an R&B Blade.”This week’s coolest horror movie is... Sinners. This film has everything: A team up so legend Nick Fury would be jealous, Uncles reminding the nephew to eat, and both Michael A, and B Jordan's doing their best to protect their culture. If you love demon-slaying jazz clubs, delightful doormen named after bread, and learning that the clitoris is not in the glovebox, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Sinners?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Wrong Turn 2 (2007)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“The monkey is basically Tommy Lee, and I'm sick of pretending not to notice.”This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... The Monkey. This film has everything: An electric detonation, A stripper face reveal that will blow your mind, and a haunted toy chimp that was just following orders. If you love flamethrower pawn shops, placenta-fueled twin rage, and Planet of the Apes energy with zero restraint, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on The Monkey?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Sinners (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“He's made of knife.” This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Terminator 2: Judgment Day. This film has everything: a corrupted Windows version of Gollum, a reality where John Connor skips leading the resistance and just lives his best life frothing lattes at a Glendale café, and a robot so anatomically gifted he can slice a sandwich with his knife-dick like he’s the deli manager at Skynet Whole Foods. If you love liquid metal weirdos, alternate destinies, and phallic cutlery, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Terminator 2?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: The Monkey 2 (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"Psytopics is like R&B Dianetics."This week’s most unapologetically anti-fascist horror movie is... Freaky Tales. This film has everything: A Scott Pilgrim-style street brawl between punks and Nazis, a soft-spoken supervillain who can make a lisp sound menacing, and Sleepy Floyd, a samurai warrior who dunks on racists AND slices them in half. If you love magical realism, anarchist justice, and movies that ask, “What if vibes were weapons?”, this episode’s for you.What did you all think of our episode on Freaky Tales?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: TERMINATOR 2 (1991)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“You have the right to remain charming. Anything you say can and will be used to make me blush.”This week’s most romantically unhinged horror movie is... Heart Eyes. This film has everything: A vineyard that produces a very bloody red, A killer throuple, And a masked maniac who forces a DTR mid-murder. If you love rom-com tropes, blood-soaked meet-cutes, and horror villains who demand emotional clarity, this episode’s for you!What did you all think of our episode on Heart Eyes?Tell us on our Socials @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and InstagramHelp Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirginUp Next: Freaky Tails (2025)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.