The Empower Create Encourage Podcast

S5E06 – The Anxious & Avoidant Cyclewith guest Malisa Hepner, therapist, author, and host of “Emotionally Unavailable”Why do anxious and avoidant partners seem irresistibly drawn to each other—yet often end up in cycles of push, pull, and misunderstanding?In this episode of the Empower Create Encourage Podcast, I sit down with Malisa Hepner to unpack the magnetic (and sometimes messy) connection between these two attachment styles.After we explore:The simple truth about what drives anxious and avoidant attractionThe recurring patterns in decision-making, problem-solving, and conflictHow emotional safety can be cultivated for both partnersCommon intimacy and bedroom dynamics in anxious/avoidant relationshipsThe impact of dissociation and “performative desire” on connectionHow avoidance of pain affects emotional intimacyGrounding and regulation techniques for individuals and couplesOne small but powerful step couples can take toward secure love—even if they’ve never experienced it beforeIf you’ve ever felt stuck in this loop—or love someone who has—this conversation will help you see the cycle clearly and give you tools to change it.🎧 Tune in and remember: You are empowered to create the love, life, and reality you desire.Connect with Malisa Hepner, on her instagram | @malisa.hepnerConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Are you living your own life—or the one you inherited?In this episode of Empower Create Encourage, I sit down with Simon Luthi, author of Becoming the Rocket Shaman, to explore how cultural conditioning, family patterns, and unconscious stories shape who we think we are.We talk about:The subtle signs you might be living an inherited identityHow to recognize and release the roles you never choseSimon’s “Once Upon a Time” method for uncovering unconscious storiesWhy “Is this mine?” is the question that can realign your lifeThe first steps to rewriting your story as a sacred actConnect with Simon Luthi, on his website | www.therocketshaman.comConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

I sit down with Heidi Blackie, former healthcare professional, trauma-informed coach, and founder of UnshakableMe, to talk about the hidden cost of people-pleasing and the self-sabotage “grenades” we carry without even realizing it. In this episode, we explore:Why people-pleasing is not kindness—and how to tell the differenceWhat “self-sabotage grenades” are and how to spot them in your lifeHow trauma and nervous system dysregulation fuel burnout cyclesThe difference between setting a boundary and building a wallWhat Micro-Boldness is—and how small truth-telling moments change everything Heidi’s 3 Tools to Start Reclaiming Your Power:Label your patterns without judgment – Awareness interrupts autopilotOne daily act of self-compassion – Small shifts rewrite big storiesPractice Micro-Boldness – Speak, rest, or ask for what you needConnect with Heidi Blackie on her website | https://www.unshakableme.comConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

We all carry parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to hide—shame, insecurity, fear, or even behaviors we regret. But what if the parts we believe are “unlovable” or “ugly” are actually the gateway to healing, authenticity, and true connection?In this raw and honest conversation, psychiatrist and voice liberation advocate Dr. Fred Moss joins us to explore what it means to face the uncomfortable, unpolished parts of ourselves—without judgment, without shame.Together, we unpack:The different types of “ugly” that live inside us—those that harm us first, and those that harm others.Why we’re taught to silence the very parts of us that need the most compassion.How to reclaim your true voice and live in alignment with who you really are.Creative and simple practices to reconnect with yourself on a daily basis.Dr. Fred brings deep insight, practical tools, and a radically human lens to mental health—challenging the belief that we need to be “fixed,” and reminding us that healing starts when we stop hiding.If you’ve ever felt like parts of you were too messy, too broken, or too dark to be seen or loved—this episode is for you.🎧 Listen now and rediscover the power of your unfiltered, unedited self.Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageConnect with Dr. Fred Moss on his website | https://www.skool.com/welcometohumanity/aboutHeal inner child wounds and remove operational barriers in your organization. Learn more and transform at https://authentictransformation.ca/

⚠️ Trigger Warning:This episode includes discussion of betrayal, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual abuse, sex, and rape fantasies, along with themes of trauma, intimacy, and healing. Listener discretion is strongly advised. This content is intended for audiences 20 years and older.What counts as betrayal? Is it only cheating—or can the small, everyday breaches of trust be just as damaging? And if we forgive someone… does that mean they’re automatically owed our trust again?In this deep and powerful conversation, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer, couples psychologist and author of Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.Together, we explore:🔹 How betrayal shows up in both big and subtle ways🔹 Why forgiveness is about liberating yourself, not restoring blind trust🔹 What true intimacy requires—especially after trust has been broken🔹 Sacred sex as a healing practice and how to reconnect through it🔹 Similarities, differences, and patterns in what men and women often desire in sexual connection🔹 Signs of emotional abuse and domestic violence—and how to identify when something isn’t just a “rough patch”This is a brave space for those navigating the aftermath of hurt, seeking deeper connection, or learning to trust again—yourself and others.🎧 Tune in and be empowered to heal, grow, and create love that is sacred, conscious, and true.Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageConnect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer on his website | https://brucechalmer.comHeal inner child wounds and remove operational barriers in your organization. Learn more and transform at https://authentictransformation.ca/

In this raw and powerful episode of Empower Create Encourage, I’m joined by the bold and brilliant Kiko Pawlenchuk as we dive headfirst into the full spectrum of motherhood—the joy, the dark, and the downright ugly. From societal misconceptions to silent shame, we unpack the unspoken realities mothers face every day.We talk about what it means to embrace honest vulnerability—sharing the hard truths of needing space, feeling low, and telling our kids, “Mama needs a minute.” We explore how this openness doesn't make us weak; it teaches our children resilience, empathy, and emotional awareness.This episode also shines a light on how our deepest triggers often stem from our own unhealed inner child wounds. Those moments of emotional activation? They’re not failures—they’re invitations to heal, grow, and evolve.Whether you're a mom, thinking of becoming one, or just want to better understand the fierce, sacred, and sometimes chaotic journey of motherhood, this episode will meet you where you are—with truth, laughter, and lots of heart.AHAHAHA Disclaimer:This episode is not actually sponsored by Anusol, the Calgary Public Library, or Depends… but if you’re a new mom, we highly recommend all three. You’re welcome.Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageConnect with Kiko Pawlenchuk on Instagram | @katekikokeeksHeal inner child wounds and remove operational barriers in your organization. Learn more and transform at https://authentictransformation.ca/

In honor of international Women's Day, we sit down with Diana Clarkson, Chief Marketing Officer of Authentic Transformation Corporation, to explore the strength and wisdom that comes from embracing our identity as women and leaning into discomfort. We discuss:✨ How we respond to disrespect – recognizing our triggers and reclaiming our power.✨ Setting and honoring boundaries – saying no with confidence and protecting our energy.✨ Listening to our bodies – tuning in to intuition, recognizing stress signals, and prioritizing self-care.✨ Eliminating nervous laughter – breaking the habit of softening discomfort for others at the expense of ourselves.✨ Building our tribe and community – surrounding ourselves with women who uplift and support us.✨ Green and red flags in female friendships – discerning who truly has our best interests at heart.✨ Creating a community that cheers us on – fostering deep, meaningful connections that encourage growth.Diana shares her insights on navigating these challenges with grace, strength, and authenticity. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will leave you feeling empowered to own your space, trust your voice, and cultivate a life filled with genuine support and connection.🎧 Listen now and step into your power!Connect with Diana | You can learn more about Diana and her work by connecting with her through https://linktr.ee/dianaluciaa Connect with me | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageConnect with Silvia Gálvez, Inner Child Healing Expert & CEO Owner of Authentic Transformation Corporation | https://linktr.ee/conscious.creators.tribeTo receive free resources and learn more about Authentic Transformation Corporation visit: https://authentictransformation.ca/

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of prayer and vulnerability. We all wear masks to protect ourselves, but what happens when we let those walls down? Together, we’ll explore how prayer can open our hearts, foster authentic connections, and help us shed the masks that hide our true selves. Get ready for an uplifting conversation about faith, healing, and the beauty that comes with being truly seen—by God and by others.Tune in for a heartfelt, fun, and faith-filled chat on embracing who we really are!Connect with Josh | You can learn more about Josh's work and connect with him on through his poetry page: https://www.patreon.com/c/spiritbornpoetryConnect with me | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTo receive free resources and learn more about Authentic Transformation Corporated visit: https://authentictransformation.ca/

In this episode, we’re diving deep into what it truly means to see people as people in the workplace.Joined by Lee Engle from the Arbinger Institute, we’ll explore how an outward mindset, curiosity, and psychological safety are key to transforming work environments and preventing workplace fires.Want to level up your leadership skills or build a culture where you love going into work? Join us for a fun-filled session with plenty of laughs, real talk, and practical tips to turn your workplace into a place where humanity—and humor—can truly shine!Connect with Lee | You can learn more about Lee's work and connect with him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-engleConnect with me | @empower.create.encourage and check out my tree link to work with me.To receive free resources and learn more about our services visit: https://authentictransformation.ca/

I sit down with author Benjamin Davidson who helps us understand where shame can stem from and strategies on how to transform it into productive motivation.*Trigger warning, we talk about suicide.Connect with me on Instagram @empower.create.encourage and check out my tree link to work with me, view our company's services, or get some free resources.To receive other free resources and learn more about our services, visit: www.expressconnect.caConnect with Benjamin Davidson on instagram @benjaminthedreamwizard and visit his website https://benjaminthedreamwizard.wordpress.com/

Author Paul Zolman shares strategies that helped him transform his anger at people into loving people, appreciating them, understanding them, and building relationships with them. Tune in to learn how to shift from angry "I hate yous" to happy and real "I love yous".Connect with Paul Zolman on instagram | @paul_zolman and visit his website www.roleoflove.comConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Timothy Stuetz teaches us the impact trauma has in our relationships and provides strategies to help us foster emotional safety and connect with our partners.Connect with Timothy Stuetz on instagram | @timothystuetzConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Marriage Coach, Nancy Pickard joins us again to share the 5 winning and 5 losing strategies she has learned from Terry Real along with other techniques and tools she's learned from her own practice. She teaches us how to practice relational mindfulness to help us connect and repair with our partners. 5 losing strategies as learned from Terry Real: Prioritizing being right. Trying to control, deceive, or manipulate our partner. Unbridled self expression. Retaliation in an aggressive or passive aggressive way. Withdrawing. 5 winning strategies as learned from Terry Real: Shift from Complaint to Request Prioritize connection & repair so speak with love and respect. Be compassionate and curious as you listen. Empower each other. Give each other tools and strategies to help each other be the best partner for each other. Cherish each other, invest in each other and things that help your marriage. Connect with Nancy Pickard on Instagram @nancypickardlifecoach, buy her book, Bigger, Better, Braver to do the inner work, or work with her personally. Connect with me on Instagram @empower.create.encourage and check out my tree link to work with me, view our company's services, or get some free resources.

Timothy Stuetz empowers individuals to discover their own truth and connect with their inner being with an unprecedented level of honesty. He cherishes serving humanity and God. He joined our show to share his expertise on creating happiness and fulfillment with our own beings instead of relying on substances.Connect with Timothy Stuetz on instagram | @timothystuetzConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Nancy Pickard is a Life Coach who specializes in helping people uncover their shadow beliefs and the unconscious commitments they've made to their dis-empowering beliefs.Shadow beliefs and unconscious commitments are formed in our childhood. They can be "I'm not good enough. I'm not safe alone. I'm not worthy of love. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good with money." These beliefs frame our paradigm and drive our actions to create a reality that supports our narrative.Nancy created GenConnectU which is an ELearning platform designed to advance the careers and lives of women everywhere. This course has career strategies and tools for achieving your greatest potential: https://genconnectu.com/course/a-bigger-better-braver-career-strategies-and-tools-for-achieving-your-greatest-potential/20% DISCOUNT CODE: BBBSuccessOur beliefs shape our reality, stop playing small! A formula you can use to identity if you have a disempowering shadow belief is "I say I want 'x' and I'm experiencing 'y'. If x and y don't equal each other, then you likely have a dis-empowering shadow belief and an unconscious commitment that's keeping you stuck in a loop.Connect with Nancy Pickard on her page, nancypickardlifecoach.comConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

"Let's just hope for the best." I hope this made you laugh or brought a smile to your face! No drugs were taken during the recording of this episode. This is pure sleep deprivation, jajaja!Subscribe, share the podcast with a friend, and join our community on Instagram under @empower.create.encourage and connect by sharing your experiences under the tag #empowercreateencourage

Nancy Pickard is a Life Coach who specializes in helping people uncover their shadow beliefs and the unconscious commitments they've made to their dis-empowering beliefs.Shadow beliefs and unconscious commitments are formed in our childhood. They can be "I'm not good enough. I'm not safe alone. I'm not worthy of love. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good with money." These beliefs frame our paradigm and drive our actions to create a reality that supports our narrative.Nancy enjoys sharing her gift of helping others re-frame these beliefs into empowering beliefs that will help individuals achieve their goals.Our beliefs shape our reality, stop playing small! A formula you can use to identity if you have a disempowering shadow belief is "I say I want 'x' and I'm experiencing 'y'. If x and y don't equal each other, then you likely have a dis-empowering shadow belief and an unconscious commitment that's keeping you stuck in a loop.#empowercreateencourage | Connect with Nancy Pickard on her page, nancypickardlifecoach.comConnect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Silvia Gálvez is a Transformational Coach who specializes in trauma, addictions, and healing. She has dedicated more than a decade to learning and practicing healing the body, mind, energy, and spirit.Silvia has dedicated most of her life to serving others and creating awareness in herself and guiding her clients in their awareness and healing journey.Healing is a lifelong journey and so is learning. In this episode, we discuss the six inner child's trauma wounds - the betrayal wound, the rejection wound, the abandonment wound, the humiliation wound, the injustice wound, and the scarcity wound. Silvia teaches us the behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that usually come with each of these wounds and how they can create limiting narratives and unhealthy repetitive cycles in our lives.Silvia shares the mother of all wounds and teaches us how to work through it so we can begin our healing process. Silvia empowers us to accept ourselves and understand our wounds.Subscribe, share with a friend, and join our community on Instagram under @empower.create.encourage and connect by sharing your experiences under the tag #empowercreateencourage | Connect with Silvia Gálvez on her page, Silvia Gálvez - Coach Transformacional on Facebook and Silvia Gálvez - Coaching Transformacional on YouTube.As we shared in this episode, we will be creating a video on Silvia's YouTube and Facebook page where we answer questions on mental health and open up about our journey with depression and suicide when I was a teenager. We'll share the experience through each of our own paradigms, how I experienced it as a teenager and how she experienced it as a mother. If you have questions you'd like us to answer, please connect with us, we would love to hear from you!Connect with Alessandra Charlesworth | https://linktr.ee/empower.create.encourageTransform from the Inside OutAt Authentic Transformation, we help individuals and organizations overcome emotional, mental, and operational barriers using a powerful blend of inner child healing, neuroscience, quantum physics, and spirituality.We support:Individuals by identifying and reprogramming trauma-rooted patterns that block confidence, clarity, and self-leadership.Organizations by removing operational obstacles, aligning systems with purpose, and optimizing teams for sustainable growth and lasting impact.If you're a growth-minded leader ready to remove what's holding you back—personally or organizationally—we'd love to support you.Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation and let's identify exactly how we can help you meet your strategic and operational objectives.Learn more | https://authentictransformation.ca/

Silvia Gálvez is a Transformational Coach who specializes in trauma, addictions, and healing. She has dedicated more than a decade to learning and practicing healing the body, mind, energy, and spirit. Silvia has dedicated most of her life to serving others and creating awareness in herself and guiding her clients in their awareness and healing journey. Healing is a lifelong journey and so is learning. In this episode, we discuss the six inner child's trauma wounds - the betrayal wound, the rejection wound, the abandonment wound, the humiliation wound, the injustice wound, and the scarcity wound. Silvia teaches us the behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs that usually come with each of these wounds and how they can create limiting narratives and unhealthy repetitive cycles in our lives. Silvia teaches us how we've been poorly using our reticular activating system to give us the results we don't want instead of programming it to give us the results we desire. Silvia empowers us to accept ourselves and understand our wounds. Join our empower·create·encourage community on @empower.create.encourage on Instagram and connect by sharing your experiences under the tag #empowercreateencourage | Connect with Silvia Gálvez on her page Silvia Gálvez - Coach Transformacional on Facebook and Silvia Gálvez - Coaching Transformacional on YouTube.

Diana Guerra has made WAVES while she goes for her dreams! She has written many new songs in the last four months and has begun to release them! In this special episode, we answer the hard and genuine questions you asked us. One of the questions we received was, "There seems to be a transition from dreams to fears that dampen our spark, how do we rekindle our flames when we're in the midst of uncertainty and fear?" Being in the midst of a worldwide pandemic its a particularly challenging time to be an adult and to find the courage to believe in ourselves and our dreams. Diana shares the tools she uses to stay connected with herself, to fuel her fire, and how to love herself by honoring her needs to create enjoyment and happiness in her life. We want to do a mini series on this topic of playing with fire- having the courage to go for our dreams! We want to dedicate these episodes to you and will keep the format of answering your questions and talking about them. Send us your questions and experiences on instagram! Subscribe, follow, and stay tuned for the next episode! Join our empower·create·encourage community on @empower.create.encourage on Instagram and connect by sharing your experiences under the tag #empowercreateencourage | Connect with Diana Guerra on her page @thedianaluciaa on instagram, @TheDianaLucia on Facebook, and Diana Lucia on YouTube. Subscribe to her channels and stay tuned for her upcoming songs!