The Imperfects

Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover? 💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals. On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self. With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him. Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever. Luke, you are such a beautiful person. Thank you for joining us today. This episode discusses gambling addiction and suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening. This episode is part of the BE HOPE Podcast Takeover, bringing podcasts around the world together to explore the themes of hope and how we can continue to make progress in a rapidly changing world - https://globalgoals.org/behope/ 🚨If you, or someone you know is struggling with a gambling addiction Call LifeLine - 13 11 14 Register at BetStop - betstop.gov.au Gamblers Anonymous - https://bit.ly/3TJ1C6d Gambling Help Online - gamblinghelponline.org.au In an emergency, always call 000 🩵To hear our chat with Luke about The Manosphere and to join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 0:00 – Trailer: $250K of Gambling Debt 1:26 – Be Hope Podcast Takeover Announcement 4:15 – Luke Bateman doesn’t fit in a box 6:06 – Growing up ‘soft’ in Rural Queensland 10:03 – Hiding Books from the Boys 17:11 – The Shame of Reading 19:22 – Chasing a Dream to Fill the Void 22:26 – Money, Drugs & Alcohol in Professional Sport 27:40 – Lies, Debt & Betting Company ‘VIP’ Treatment 30:26 – Should Gambling Sponsorship Be Banned? 31:11 – Rock Bottom 33:18 – The Phone Call That Saved His Life 39:45 – Rehab, Recovery + Relinquishing Control 43:40 – Inside Rehab “Get a Real Addiction” 47:21 – Recovery Is Not Linear 50:21 – Internal Family Systems: Healing the exiled child 56:05 – Generational Masculinity: Why Men Struggle to Connect 58:19 – Denial + Corporate Greed 1:03:13 – Luke’s Honesty Policy 1:06:08 – Unconditional Love vs Conditional Help 1:10:18 – Sharing Shame with Teammates 1:11:37 – Luke’s Message to Anyone Struggling Right Now 1:13:03 – Finding Your Way Back 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Jack’s Gambling Addiction Story - https://bit.ly/4hFQmk1 📚Things to read The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo - https://bit.ly/46FkS7v Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix - https://bit.ly/4AnBxKB The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4d2Ozmx No Bad Parts, by Richard C Scharwtz - https://bit.ly/46FSGkU You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C Schwartz - https://bit.ly/3Tp0gx8 🎧Things to listen to In The Good Books with Luke Bateman I Matt Haig: Writing What You Need to Hear - https://bit.ly/4jjvBvK 📱Things to check out Luke’s Instagram (and his thoughts on male silence) - https://bit.ly/46AnIuy 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth? Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome. 💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time. HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support. In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon. And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler. 0:00 – An Emisode! 2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter 5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome 6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word 8:19 – It all comes back to belonging 10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome? 12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud 15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt 16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy? 17:42 – Is your confidence a mask? 18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect 23:15 – The more you know …. 25:12 – Competence vs confidence 26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck 32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist 35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies 38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus 45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote 46:22 – Less growth, less promotions 48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills 49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame 51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon 52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign 57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer 1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success 1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture 1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business 1:06:25 – Want more on belonging? Dr Em, thanks for joining us. 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8 Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs 🎧Things to listen to The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW 📖Things to read Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0 📺 Things to watch Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was. 💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/ Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self. And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy. In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out. Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now. Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off. 0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching 4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode? 5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan) 9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes 10:08 – The best advice Andy received 14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy 20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy 23:42 – Should we be recording this? 25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo 26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal 30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation 36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House 38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live 40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital 43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 15 46:04 – Furious at the new normal 49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say 54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice 58:20 – The Lee Gazette 1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5 📺 Things to watch Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI 🎧Things to listen to Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success? Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success. Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania. Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity. It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending). 0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister 5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star 11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome 19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos 20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School 22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t 25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure 28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown 29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan 34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again) 35:46 – The Hollywood Grind 37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt 46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection 51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like 52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania 54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding 57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything 1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star 1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy 1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5 📺 Things to watch My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2 Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP 🎧 Things to listen to Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity? Matt D’Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle. In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything. 💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life. Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!) Matt this was a dream come true. To watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco 00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days 7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing 18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House 20:25 - Becoming a father, losing sleep (and himself) 24:14 - Depression Diagnosis Wake-Up Call 32:56 - Hugh's Sleep Score 40:38 - SOS: Hiring Help, Expanding your Village 48:50 - Sleep Training: What Actually Works 52:02 - The Real Cost of Sleep Deprivation 58:29 - Being A Mum: The Additional Burden 1:01:32 - 'Do You Regret Having Kids?' 1:04:00 - The New and Improved Matt D'Ad-Avella 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si 📺 Things to watch Minimalism Documentary - https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t Why I disappeared - Matt D’Avella - https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g Matt D’Avella YouTube - https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW 💤 Things to sleep train Tresillian Sleep Organisation - https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5 The Ferber Sleep method - https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4 Masada Sleep School - https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc 📚Things to read Regretful Parents subreddit - https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.