The In-Between Years with Dr. Sheryl

Michaeleen Doucleff is a science journalist. Which only partly explains why, a few years ago, she packed up her four-year-old and moved in with a Maya family in the Yucatan, an Inuit family in the Arctic, and a group of Hadza hunter-gatherers in Tanzania. She wanted to know why kids in those cultures grow up more capable, less anxious - and honestly, easier to live with - than ours. TShe wrote a NYT bestselling book about the experience, and what she learned, called Hunt, Gather, Parent.The book mostly addresses the parenting of toddlers and young children, so Dr. Sheryl wanted to ask Dr. Doucleff whether and how any of this holds up when your kid is seventeen, driving your car, and rolling their eyes at you from across the kitchen?They get into why an eye roll might be a better sign than you think. Why kids are wired to want to help long before we start assigning them chores. What actually happens to a kid's motivation the second you say "good job." And the difference between raising a kid who does the dishes and raising one who feels like a real, needed part of the family, at any age.*Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.Frida: Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon todayGood Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch the first episode on youtube.com/@goodinside. Follow Dr. Sheryl on InstagramLearn more about Good Inside Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gretchen Rubin has done this twice: watched one daughter leave for college, and now she's doing it again with her younger one, no sibling left behind to soften the landing. The happiness researcher and #1 New York Times bestselling author joins Dr. Sheryl to make her case for retiring "empty nest" in favor of a phrase she's convinced changes what parents actually do next: open door. They get into what predicts a hard transition, why growth is the real engine of happiness, the line between a friendly acquaintance and an actual friend, and the one piece of advice Gretchen keeps coming back to: come back to yourself. If your house is about to get quieter, or already has, this one's for you.Looking for more support in the in-between years of parenting? Good Inside Teen gives you practical tools, scripts, and expert guidance for the moments that can feel most overwhelming with tweens and teens. Thank you to Frida for making this episode possible! Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon today. Follow Dr. Sheryl on InstagramLearn more about Good Inside Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gloria Steinem died this month at 92. Just a few weeks before she did, she sat down at home with Dr. Becky and repeated something she’s been saying for fifty years: we've raised our daughters to be more like sons, but not our sons to be more like daughters. Dr. Sheryl was also in Gloria’s living room that night, and she introduces this rare conversation about what it means for the boys and girls we're raising right now.*Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.Frida: Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon today Follow Dr. Sheryl on InstagramLearn more about Good Inside Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Somewhere around 12 or 13, most kids make a quiet decision about themselves: that they're likable, or too much, that they belong, or that they're better off not needing anyone. It usually happens over something small, like a friend who stopped texting back.Psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco, author of Worth (and Platonic), sits down with Dr. Sheryl to talk about what's actually happening in that decision and what it takes to undo it. Dr. Franco breaks down the real difference between self-esteem and self-worth: one kind of high self-esteem pushes shame away and gets defensive the moment it surfaces, the other lets it in. Only one of them, her research suggests, actually predicts good relationships.They get into why telling a kid "you're so great" can backfire (it can feel like being armored up for a harder fall), why unprocessed memories don't just record the past, they predict the future, and what to do instead: slow down, get curious, and let your kid feel witnessed instead of fixed. Dr. Franco also talks about her own therapy, why she now calls herself "secure-ish," and the phrase Dr. Sheryl coins mid-conversation that sums up the whole episode: confess to yourself first.*Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply.Frida: Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon todayGood Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch on youtube.com/@goodinside. Follow Dr. Sheryl on InstagramLearn more about Good Inside Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Somewhere around 11, your kid stops playing “the floor is lava” with you. A lot of parents quietly stop trying to connect that way and never start again. Dr. Kim Van Dusen isn't buying it. She's spent almost 25 years studying play, she's a licensed marriage and family therapist and registered play therapist, and she just wrote a book called Parenting Through Play. She's also a mom to a 12-year-old and a 9-year-old, so she's living the tween years right now, right alongside everyone listening. In this conversation, Dr. Kim and Dr. Sheryl talk through what play actually looks like once your kid is too old for dolls and too self-conscious for a dance party. Kim explains why her daughter has a code emoji (a donut, specifically) that means "come get me, something's wrong," and why gamifying chores works better than any lecture. There's a story about a family chore race that gets done in 30 minutes flat, no bribe, no reward, just a timer and a little competition. The idea underneath all of it: play isn't a reward you dole out after the hard stuff is done. Put it first, and the power struggles start to disappear. If your "easy" kid has gone quiet on you, or your house has stopped feeling playful and you're not sure how it happened, this one's for you. * Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible: Yoto: Get 15% off your order with the code DRSHERYL15 at YotoPlay.com. New customers only, ends October 31, offer valid on select products only. Terms apply. Girl Scouts: If you have a daughter in kindergarten through 12th grade, visit girlscouts.org to learn more Frida: Shop Frida for Kids at Walmart and Amazon today Good Inside’s Dr. Becky and Dr. Sheryl have a new show on YouTube - Teens & Screens, a bi-weekly video series helping parents navigate today's biggest technology questions. Watch the series on youtube.com/@goodinside. Follow Dr. Sheryl on InstagramLearn more about Good Inside Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.