The Kink Consultant

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think.In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure.We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare.If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood.Episode Highlights: 00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence24:41 Personal Kink Journeys28:54 Normalizing Kink and CommunicationPre-Order her book here: ​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guideConnect with Cate: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/https://catieosaurus.comConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment32:11 Resources for Healing and SupportConnect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/laurenlarussoConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression.In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates.We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life.If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain.Episode Highlights00:00 Journey into Content Creation20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating WorldConnect with Beau:https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroixhttps://onlyfans.com/artoforgasmConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube!Connect with Aubrey Austhttps://www.instagram.com/aubrey__austConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 55 - Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame).In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti, host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved.Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame.If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure.Episode Highlights(00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience(12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness(18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences(29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare(32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication(38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure NormalConnect with Annette: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannettetalksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annetteConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).Episode Highlights(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for BeginnersJoin the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 53 - In this episode, I sit down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, BDSM educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol, to talk about her journey from working at a San Francisco fetish boutique to becoming one of the most respected BDSM coaches in the field. We talk about Barbie bondage beginnings, the psychology of power, and why shame-free exploration is the gateway to pleasure that actually lasts.If you’ve ever wanted to understand how BDSM can become a path toward self-awareness, healing, and deeper connection, this conversation is for you.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Barbie Bondage and Early Curiosity(12:00) How Somatica Training Changed Everything(18:00) Combining Somatic Touch and BDSM Coaching(23:00) Healing Shame and Building Safety Through Play(38:00) Communication, Consent, and Aftercare 101Connect with Shelbyhttps://www.shelbydevlin.com/bioConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 52 - What happens when your relationship is built on trust, power exchange, and pushing limits together?In this episode, I sit down with Lucas and Hazel of Ripped Digital to talk about what it really takes to live and create on the more extreme side of BDSM. From navigating risk and safety in hardcore play to building a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, Lucas and Hazel share openly about their relationship, their porn production, and why empathy and trust are at the heart of everything they do.We dive into what it means to eroticize shame, how fantasies differ from reality, why safety tools like negotiation checklists and aftercare rituals matter, and how they’ve turned their personal kinks into a professional life that still feels authentic. If you’ve ever wanted to understand what happens behind the scenes of extreme kink content or how couples can thrive while exploring the edges of BDSM,  this is one you won’t want to miss.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Risk Awareness, Safety, and Harm Reduction(06:00) Negotiation, Trust, and First-Time Scenes(12:00) Eroticizing Shame and Exploring Taboo Fantasies(21:00) Aligning Public and Private Kink Identities(30:00) Sadism, Empathy, and Keeping Power in Check(41:00) Why Authentic Headspace Matters More than Scripted Porn(47:00) Cinematic Fantasies and Bucket List Scenes(53:00) Creating Content that Feels Real and ExperientialConnect with Hazel and Lucas ⁠https://ripped.digital/scenes/Home-Movies-Lucas-and-his-little_vids.html⁠Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.⁠https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1⁠

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 51 - Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation.In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable.If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags.Episode Highlights: (00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises(04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board(06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations(11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities(17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming CruisesJoin the Temptation Cruiseshttps://temptationcruises.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 50 - Back on The Kink Consultant, Larah Sky shares what really goes down when you’re running chastity challenges like Sexless September and Locktober. From easy-mode orgasm schedules to full denial, she breaks down why men keep signing up for chastity plans and what keeps them coming back for more. We also get into the chaos of OnlyFans rules, the viral TikToks that blew up her business, and why chastity has become one of the most talked-about kinks online.If you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or just want to know what makes it so addictive, this episode gives you the inside scoop (and a good laugh along the way).Episode Highlights: (00:00) Sexless September and Chastity Challenges(09:29) Chastity and Sissy Play(15:49) Challenges with Content Platforms(19:56) Challenges and Strategies on OnlyFans(22:27) Content Restrictions(32:01) Chastity World and Future PlansConnect with Larah SkyType “Larah Sky is legendary on Google” or check out: https://www.larahsky.comhttps://www.larahsky.co.ukhttps://www.chastity.worldConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 49 - What makes something a kink, and what makes it a fetish? And can you find your life partner when you either? In this episode, I sit down in person with content creator and professional dom, Miz Darling to explore the deep, messy, and meaningful world of fetish. From spanking and feet, to nylons and cuckolding, we unpack what makes a fetish different from a kink, how these desires form, and how they show up in long-term love and relationships. We also talk about the book we’re co-writing, Complicated Pleasures, and why it was important to tell real stories of fetishists navigating relationships, intimacy, and identity.This episode isn’t just about what turns people on, it’s about how to stay connected when your desires don’t fit the script. Tune in to learn why fetish is really about power, communication, and finding romance in the most unexpected places.Episode Highlights:(0:00) Exploring Common Fetishes(12:29) Introducing the Book Project: Complicated Pleasures(14:19) The Stigma Around Fetishes(15:08) Exploring Relationship Dynamics(19:51) Personal Experiences with Fetishes(22:53) Embracing Your Sexuality(27:00) How to Get InvolvedSubmit Your Stories:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdD19PrOEehu7UqLmOo4iISRJe2M7L6VyD0FcTSn0s6A88p0A/viewformMore details about the book: https://complicatedpleasures.ca/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 48 - If you’ve been on more first dates than you can count and you’re still single, chances are you’re making dating mistakes you didn’t even know about.In this episode, I sit down with Lana Ricco, host of the Dating Makeover show and podcast, to dig into the biggest dating mistakes that are quietly keeping people single. From chasing the wrong type of partner, to ignoring red and green flags around money, marriage, and family, Lana breaks down how to approach dating with clarity, strategy, and confidence.We talk about why men and women often marry for very different reasons, how to spot the difference between dominance and toxic “alpha” energy, and why your mindset going into a date matters just as much as your outfit. Lana also shares her own story of getting engaged within days of meeting her husband, and the key questions she asked up front that made the difference.If you’re ready to stop repeating patterns, avoid the traps that keep you stuck, and finally give your dating life a makeover, this conversation will show you where to begin.Episode Highlights: (00:00) The Concept of Dating Makeover(02:50) Insights on Men and Marriage(12:45) Understanding Dominance in Relationships(17:16) Understanding Submissiveness and Dominance(19:55) Cultural Differences in Relationships(23:19) Finding the Right Partner(30:52) Core Questions for Relationship Success(31:40) Knowing When You’re Ready to DateConnect with Lana Riccohttps://www.instagram.com/lana.ricco/https://www.youtube.com/@LanaRiccohttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-makeover-with-lana-ricco/id1819348183Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

This episode was recorded weeks before Koby passed. We’re sharing it with love and gratitude, in memory of him. It’s a chance to hear his voice, his story, and his spirit one more time.Episode 47 - In this episode, I get to talk to Koby Falks, adult performer, OnlyFans star, and live sex show headliner, to talk about what it’s like building a career that spans continents, from Australia to the UK and beyond.We get into the realities of performing live on stage, navigating the gay vs. straight OnlyFans markets, and why building a recognizable brand is the key to standing out. Koby also shares his experience on balancing relationships with a public sex work career, how kinks evolve over time, and why sexuality is always more fluid than labels suggest.If you’ve ever wanted the inside story of global content creation and what it really takes to build a career that lasts in this scene, this episode is for you.Episode Highlights: 00:51 Live Sex Shows in Australia05:00 Marketing and Networking in the Gay Community11:30 Maintaining a Business Relationship Post-Breakup22:01 Global Adventures in Filming24:49 Personal Kinks and Preferences30:21 The Dynamics of Sexuality34:18 Balancing Work and Personal Life

Episode 46 - What does your dream girl look like?In this episode, I get to talk with Pepper Kat about how she went from the newsroom to sex work, and why her background in TV and film now fuels her career in storytelling-driven erotica. We dive into the rise of breeding kink (and how Elon Musk weirdly influenced it), the reality of phone sex and camming, and the wildest requests Pepper’s ever gotten. She shares what it’s like to balance business and pleasure, the double lives that people lead to keep their fantasies hidden, why sex work is more mainstream than most people want to admit.If you’ve ever been curious about the business of fantasy or wondered just how far people will go to make their desires real, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 00:50 Design Your Dream Girl: A Customized Fantasy Experience02:12 Exploring Popular Kinks and Trends12:39 Phone Sex: Behind the Scenes20:49 The Universality of Sexual Fantasies27:26 Odd Requests and Custom Videos30:46 Double Lives and Relationship Dynamics32:54 Selling Bath Water and Other MerchConnect with Pepper Kat: Website: https://www.pepperkat.com/designyourdreamgirlPodcast: https://www.pepperkat.com/heartfelt-perspectivesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠

Episode 45 - Your butt cheeks also need some TLC… In this episode, I’m joined by Flora, a fellow spanko and skincare enthusiast, to talk about keeping your most spanked asset healthy. From preventing scars and managing hyperpigmentation to speeding up bruise recovery and avoiding leather butt, Flora shares the routines, products, and doctor-approved tips that every impact bottom should know.We break down the best ways to protect your skin before a weekend of play, what to do immediately after a scene, and how to keep your cheeks soft, smooth, and ready for the next round. Plus, we get into the realities of party drop, why volunteering matters, and why curiosity is the most underrated thing you can bring to any kink event.If you want your marks to fade faster, your skin to recover quicker, and your other cheeks to get the same love as your face, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 04:18 Managing Bruising and Skin Discoloration07:30 Skincare Routines and Tips13:46 The Texas Allstate Spanking Party Experience18:31 Bottoms Up and Community Events20:55 Daily and Post-Play Skincare Recommendations24:13 Understanding and Treating Itchy Skin31:47 Dealing with Leather Butt33:23 The Role of Hydration and Nutrition39:09 The Value of Attending Workshops and ClassesConnect with Flora: FetLife: _f1orahttps://x.com/_f1orahttps://www.clips4sale.com/studio/163305/miss-kelley-mayConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 44 -Think you could handle working in a professional dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Mistress Verna for Part 2 of our behind-the-scenes look at life as retired dominatrixes. We’re digging into how this work helped us explore and define our sexuality, the boundaries we had to build to stay safe, and the trust it took to thrive in a job built on power exchange.We swap stories about some of our most unforgettable clients, what we learned about ourselves through this work, and whether we’d actually recommend dungeon life to someone curious about going pro. Spoiler alert: it’s not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gave us tools we still use to this day.Tune in to hear what it really takes to be a pro dom, beyond the latex and fantasy,  and why this career path changed how we see sex, power, and ourselves.Episode Highlights: 02:34 Learning and Growth in the Dungeon10:30 Unique Client Stories and Advice21:55 Unusual Requests and Experiences24:59 Building Friendships and Skills30:59 Reflections on Being a Dominatrix37:17 Advice for Aspiring DominatrixesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 43 - What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces.We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing rituals, the gossip, the client mind games, the surprise police visits, and the unspoken rules that ran the place. We also talk about the real stuff: the power dynamics, the politics, and how we built safety, sisterhood, and strategy in a space that was chaotic at best and dangerous at worst.Tune in to find out what really goes down in a professional dungeon and why being a pro dom isn't just about fantasy. It's about finesse, boundaries, and knowing exactly who’s in charge.Episode Highlights: 00:51 The Reality of Working at the Dungeon14:49 Client Interactions and Techniques22:18 Reflecting on Client Dynamics25:34 Client Lies and Secrets27:08 Sex Rules and Gossip31:01 Raids and Safety Protocols36:37 Journalist IncidentConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 42 -Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful.We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigmatize conversations about porn and desire, and how they built Squirm as a space where adult sex ed meets humor, eroticism, and real communication. From their audio course Oral Hygiene to their Get Squirmy card deck and live events, Tess and Kels are helping people go beyond shame and speak about sex with clarity, confidence, and creativity.Whether you’ve struggled to talk about what turns you on, want to bring more curiosity into your kink conversations, or simply wish porn had a better PR team, this episode will expand your vocabulary, your imagination, and your confidence in navigating communication around sex, BDSM, and desire.Get 20% off of the Get Squirmy Conversation Deck when you use the code: KINKCONSULTANThttps://www.getsquirmy.com/product-page/get-squirmyEpisode Highlights: 03:45 Introducing Squirm: Sex Ed for Adults06:32 The Concept of Sexy Sex Ed17:23 The Role of Porn in Sex Education21:52 Contextualizing Media and Reality25:20 Porn as a Tool for Sexual Exploration27:06 Navigating Sexual Communication36:45 Exploring the Get Squirmy EventsConnect with Tess and Kels https://linktr.ee/squirmConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 41 -What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.Episode Highlights: 02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy22:12 Unlearning and HealingConnect with Aubreyhttp://www.aubreyaust.com/https://instagram.com/aubrey__austhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Episode 40 -Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed.We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming.Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you.Episode Highlights: 01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together14:31 Opening Up About Desires21:59 Navigating Book Conventions32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover ModelsConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Join The Kinky Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membershipSpeak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.