The Longing Lab

<p>Do you ever find yourself so fixated on longing that you can’t enjoy the present? Longing for a lover, an exotic destination, a lost loved one, or a past time in your life? The Longing Lab takes a deeper look at the science of longing and the culture that drives us to long for what we don’t have. You can expect insightful conversations with individuals uniquely qualified to talk about longing. Host, Amanda McCracken, has written or spoken about her own addiction to longing in national publications like the New York Times, Washington Post, & the BBC. The goal of the Longing Lab is to inspire individuals to make positive changes in their lives. Look for her book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover (Hachette), in fall of 2025! </p>

Columbia Professor Walter Frisch on the musical language of longing

Send us a text Episode 36 Columbia University Professor of Music Walter Frisch explores how longing is expressed in 19th and 20th-century music, particularly in the works of composers like Schumann, Wagner, and Arlen. Frisch also shares the lesser-known historic details on the development of the iconic song of longing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Walter Frisch is the H. Harold Gumm/Harry and Albert von Tilzer Professor of Music at Columbia University, where he has taught since 1982. He has l...

09-29
01:07:38

Journalist and author Rachel Hills discusses the sex myths society sells us

Send us a text Episode 35 Feminist journalist and author of The Sex Myth, Rachel Hills discusses what she’s learned about sex as a source of power, the sex myths many of us believe, and how the sexual revolution didn’t really liberate us. Hills also highlights the social pressures she personally felt not having sex until her mid-20s. Rachel Hills is a feminist journalist and non-fiction writer based in Brooklyn, New York. She began her career contributing features and opinion pieces to ...

08-08
41:35

AI ethicist & minister Dylan Thomas Doyle explains griefbots: their pros and cons & future considerations

Send us a text Episode 34 Dylan Thomas Doyle (PhD) discusses the use of AI in creating "griefbots," which simulate deceased loved ones. Doyle-Burke emphasizes the ethical considerations, potential harms, and psychological impacts of grief-related technology. He highlights the need for careful design and regulation. Doyle-Burke also mentions ongoing research and the cultural nuances of grief across different societies. Dr. Dylan Thomas Doyle is a researcher at the University of Colorado Boulde...

06-30
47:36

Dr. Ravin Alaei shares the connections between our favorite songs and our attachment styles

Send us a text Episode 33 Dr. Ravin Alaei explores the relationship between music lyrics and attachment styles. In a study of 500 participants, lyrics of ~4,700 songs were analyzed to quantify avoidance, security, and anxiety. Results showed that people with avoidant attachment styles preferred songs with more avoidant lyrics, while those with secure attachment styles preferred more secure lyrics. Another study analyzed Billboard charts from 1949 to 2015, finding modern songs are more avoidan...

06-01
44:32

Psychologist Nirit Soffer-Dudek explains maladaptive daydreaming, where fantasy becomes disabling

Send us a text Episode 32 Psychologist Nirit Soffer-Dudek explains maladaptive daydreaming, a clinical phenomenon where fantasy becomes a highly disabling and distressing addiction. She discusses fuels, triggers, treatments and why/how it’s often misdiagnosed. Nirit Soffer-Dudek, PhD is an associate professor at the Department of Psychology at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, and a licensed clinical psychologist. Her research focuses on the clinical and personality correlates of consciousn...

04-01
49:40

Centenarian & CU super fan Peggy Coppom shares wisdom on love, loss, & living a fulfilling life

Send us a text Episode 30 Centenarian and University of Colorado Super Fan Peggy Coppom shares wisdom about love, friendship, and prayer through stories she shares about her twin sister, Coach Prime, and her faith in God. Since her family moved from the high plains of eastern Colorado to Boulder to escape the Dust Bowl in 1939, CU football mega fan Peggy Coppom has only missed three CU home football games. She and her late twin sister Betty attended over an estimated 2,500 CU sporting e...

12-27
54:30

Mother of micropreemie discusses the longing in her 147 days in the NICU & explains the "Tell me what's good" strategy

Send us a text Episode 29 Steph Hauser shares the miraculous birth story of her son Zev, born at 23 weeks (halfway through Steph’s pregnancy) with a 1% survival rate, and the difficult choices they faced. She explains how her "Tell me what's good" strategy helped them find hope and the organizations they began to support NICU families. Steph Hauser is a writer, podcaster, ultrarunner, and the founder and Executive Director of 4those, a nonprofit dedicated to providing hope, healing and possib...

11-27
58:24

Psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer on longing in the brain & how to curb our cravings through mindfulness

Send us a text Episode 28 Psychiatrist and mindfulness research leader Dr. Jud Brewer explains the neural mechanisms of longing (i.e. romantic obsession) and the differences between excitement (contraction) and joy (expansion). Brewer discusses how mindfulness training reduces cravings and anxiety to help individuals manage their habits and emotions. Jud Brewer MD PhD is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences and...

11-06
42:29

Feminist author Elissa Bassist on how warping our voices leads to physical pain & longing

Send us a text Episode 27 Feminist author Elissa Bassist discusses her experiences with longing while warping her voice in academia, relationships, and medical settings. She shares her two-year journey with physical pain misunderstood and dismissed by many doctors and how it highlights the internalized patriarchy that leads women to suppress their voices. Elissa Bassist is the editor of the “Funny Women” column on The Rumpus and author of Hysterical, a semifinalist for The Thurber Prize for A...

10-11
50:23

Swipe Fat podcast co-host Alex Stewart on how longing shapes dating experiences for plus size women

Send us a text Episode 26 Alex Stewart, the influencer behind the hit podcast Swipe Fat, discusses how body shaming shapes romantic longing, the polarizing use of words like “fat,” the impact of weight loss drugs on the body positivity movement, and why you should never wait til you're X size to do something. Alex Stewart is an influencer and the voice behind the Instagram and TikTok account, Sassy Confetti. She is a proud Chicagoan who tries to inspire her audience to get out there and try n...

08-31
58:03

Neuroscientist Tom Bellamy (aka Dr. L) explains the brain on limerence & strategies to stop it

Send us a text Episode 25 Neuroscientist and owner of Livingwithlimerence.com Dr. Tom Bellamy explains what is happening in the brain when one experiences limerence, what makes it scientifically so difficult to disrupt, and strategies to practice to stop limerence Tom Bellamy is an academic neuroscientist and Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham in the UK. His research involves studying the fundamental mechanisms of the brain (the nuts and bolts of synaptic signaling), but he ...

07-20
01:16:46

Travel expert Pauline Frommer on life & love lessons at the intersection of travel & longing

Send us a text Episode 24 Travel expert and writer Pauline Frommer illustrates how travel experiences have made her a better seeker, the importance of appreciating the ephemeral moments in travel, why the holy grail of travel is finding one’s soulmate, and the future of the travel industry with AI. Pauline Frommer is Co-President of Frommer Media LLC with her father, travel legend Arthur Frommer. They publish the Frommer’s guidebooks, now in their 65th year, with over 75 million books s...

07-01
50:58

Harvard social psychologist Ellen Langer on the mindlessness of longing and regret & the power of mindfulness on our health

Send us a text Episode 23 Social psychologist Ellen Langer, AKA the "mother of mindfulness," explains why our perceived sense of control impacts our mental health, how longing and regret are mindless, why there are no good or bad decisions, and her new book, The Mindful body: Thinking our way to chronic health. Dr. Ellen Langer, AKA the “mother of mindfulness,” is a social psychologist and the first female professor to gain tenure in the Psychology Department at Harvard University. She is the...

05-30
01:01:51

Road safety advocate Eric Olson on learning to reframe the loss of his daughter

Send us a text Episode 22 On May 9, 2023, five-year-old Sidney Mae Olson was struck and killed by a truck in a cross walk. Her father, Eric Olson, discusses the longing that transpired following her death and what he’s learned about himself, his relationship with his daughter, and the interconnectedness of everything. Eric Olson is an advocate for vulnerable road users like his daughter. Eric is President of the Sidney Mae Olson Rainbow Fund, which he co-founded with his wife Mary Beth ...

05-01
54:39

Psychologist Giulia Poerio on limerence and mind wandering

Send us a text Episode 21 Psychologist and mind-wandering researcher Dr. Giulia Poerio shares recent research describing characteristics of limerence, who might be predisposed to it, and potential techniques that help alleviate limerent thinking. Due to the lack of understanding of limerence in clinical communities, she describes how it is often misunderstood or misdiagnosed. Dr Giulia Poerio is a Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Sussex in the UK. She has broad research inter...

03-30
58:29

Professor and Author Lisa A. Phillips on the relationship between unrequited love and longing

Send us a text Episode 20 Professor and author Lisa Phillips discusses society's different expectations for genders in the pursuer/pursued template. In reflecting on her own story of unrequited love, she explains how she recognized what, not who, she really wanted. Phillips shares tips for satisfying the part of some of us that is always longing. Lisa Amy Phillips is the author of Unrequited: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Romantic Obsession. She’s written about relationships and mental health...

02-28
59:01

Psychologist & grief expert Mary-Frances O'Connor on how our brains learn from love and loss

Send us a text Episode 19 Psychology professor and author Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor explains how our expectations encoded in the brain impact our grief when we lose someone we love (through death, divorce, or estrangement). She also illustrates why our brains have to learn over and over that someone is truly gone and why some people experience more intense, persistent and prolonged grief. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor is an Associate Professor at the University of Arizona Department of Psychology...

01-31
51:09

Psychologist Alexandra Solomon on how our current low accountability dating culture fosters a collective attachment disorder

Send us a text Episode 18 Psychologist and author Dr. Alexandra Solomon explains how our current low accountability dating culture fosters a collective attachment disorder which individuals sometimes mistake as a personal disorder. She provides practical actions individuals can take to foster a healthy relationship with others and themselves. Solomon also discusses how longing (or limerence) can be a defense mechanism in a culture with a low tolerance for frustration and high expectations for...

12-29
40:00

Sociology professor Lisa Wade on the rules of hookup culture and how it stemmed from a stalled sexual revolution

Send us a text Episode 17 Sociology professor Dr. Lisa Wade takes a deep dive into the history and results of hookup culture on American college campuses based on her research. She reveals the unspoken rules of hookup culture and how the stalled sexual revolution contributed to hookup culture (and in turn young adults having less sex than their parents). Dr. Lisa Wade is an Associate Professor of Sociology at Tulane University. Dr. Wade's publication record includes work on college hook...

10-31
45:22

Break Free Together founder Linda Kay Klein on the damage caused by purity culture and what recovery involves

Send us a text Episode 16 Purity culture recovery coach Linda Kay Klein explains how difficult it is to shed the teachings of purity culture. Using her personal experience and those of the many women she interviewed for her book, Linda discusses how purity culture encouraged longing for a perfect mate, how repression of emotions manifests in our bodies, and how to develop an endoskeleton of sexual ethics. Linda Kay Klein is author of Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generat...

09-28
50:11

Collins Leona

Travel expert Pauline Frommer offers invaluable life and love lessons at the intersection of travel, emphasizing how exploring new cultures fosters personal growth and deeper connections. Frommer believes that travel not only broadens horizons but also strengthens relationships through shared experiences. For luxury travelers seeking unique, upscale experiences, https://thisisluxurytravel.com offers exclusive insights.

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