The Love Doc Podcast

Episode 6: Understanding How You want to be Loved Through Your Attachment Style. Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. In this insightful episode of "How Do You Want to Be Loved," we delve into the profound ways people seek and experience love based on their attachment styles. Drawing from our personal journeys in marriage and past relationships, we reflect on how each relationship has been a stepping stone in understanding our own needs and desires, ultimately leading us to our wonderful husbands. Dr. Hensley, expands the conversation by emphasizing that truly loving your partner goes beyond the five love languages. She explains that these languages are just the beginning, a surface-level understanding. To genuinely connect, one must delve deeper. For example, a Fearful Avoidant might cherish gifts, but not just any gift—they desire something unique that mirrors their individuality, showing that you truly see and understand them. Dr. Hensley highlights the importance of studying your partner, gathering insights, and learning to avoid their triggers. This attentive approach, focused on meeting your partner's specific needs, is essential for a thriving relationship. She underscores the necessity of earning attachment security, which involves a radical self-discovery journey and a mindset shift from "how do I get them to" to "what is it about me that accepts this circumstance." Further, Dr. Hensley discusses the power of "speaking life" into your relationship. This means actively communicating with your partner about how they wish to be loved, what feels good to them, and how you can love them better. Co-host Raina Butcher wraps up the episode by affirming Dr. Hensley's insights and sharing the tangible results her clients have achieved through her guidance. Dr. Hensley's expertise in teaching people how to love one another authentically is not just theoretical; it's transformative. Join us for this episode to explore how understanding and nurturing attachment styles can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections in your relationships. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: ·       How each attachment style prefers to be loved.  ·       Why Attachment Style is the number one predictor of people's love needs.  ·       How the five love languages are only the surface of understanding how someone wants to be loved. ·       The deeper meaning behind all the love languages.   ·       How to avoid your partners triggers so that they feel more loved.  ·       How to gather data and take inventory on your partner so you can discover on a deeper level how they prefer to be loved.  Consider/Ask Yourself: ·       How is that you prefer to be loved? ·       Is your partner willing to understand how it is that you prefer to be loved? .       What is the deeper meaning of your love language?  ·       Are you actively working on avoiding your partners triggers as a way to show them that you see and understand them.  ·       Are you speaking up to what your needs are, so that your partner is aware of how you want to be loved? ·       How important is it to me that I achieve my attachment security so that both mine and my partners love needs are met? 

Episode 5: Living in Victimhood Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. Episode 5 “Living in Victimhood," is where we delve into this profound and often painful topic. Join Dr. Hensley as she draws from both her extensive coaching experience and her deeply personal journey to explore why some people get stuck in a state of victimization while others rise above it to experience post-traumatic growth. In this emotional and revealing episode, Dr. Hensley opens up about her own struggles with victimhood. She shares intimate stories of her past, candidly discussing how she played a role in her own victimization and the steps she took to break free from it. Her vulnerability offers listeners a rare glimpse into the person behind "The Love Doc," showcasing her resilience and determination to transform her pain into a powerful tool for helping others. Dr. Hensley also dives into the psychology behind victimhood, explaining the pathologies that keep individuals trapped in a cycle of suffering. She explores the factors that lead some people to experience post-traumatic stress, while others find a way to grow and thrive after trauma. Through real-life examples from her coaching practice, Dr. Hensley illustrates common patterns of victimhood and provides actionable strategies to overcome them. This episode is not just about understanding victimhood; it's about empowering listeners to recognize and break free from their own cycles of self-victimization. Dr. Hensley's personal triumph story serves as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that it is possible to heal, grow, and transform even the deepest relational traumas into a source of strength and purpose. Tune in to Episode 5 of "The Love Doc Podcast" for a heartfelt, insightful, and inspiring conversation that will challenge you to look within, confront your own victimhood, and embark on a journey towards healing and empowerment. Don't miss this opportunity to connect with Dr. Hensley on a deeper level and gain valuable insights that can help you or someone you love break free from the chains of victimhood. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: ·       Victimhood and why some people get stuck in it. ·       Why some people experience post traumatic growth versus post-traumatic stress after a traumatic event. ·       How victimhood is an antidote for our pain. ·       The difference between being a victim and a volunteer. ·       How the different attachment styles live in victimization. ·       How to overcome victimhood within your own relationship. Consider/Ask Yourself: ·       How have a contributed to my own victimhood? ·       Am I looking within to understand and evaluate my own choices to stay in a perpetual state of traumatization? ·       Have I been using victimization as an antidote to my pain? ·       Am I shaming myself into healing? (Shame and healing do not mix) ·       How is my attachment style contributing to me staying in a place of victimization?

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. In this enlightening episode Dr. Hensley delves into a controversial topic that many couples struggle with: the decline in sexual intimacy over time. She begins by exploring why attraction and sex come so easily during the dating phase of a relationship, but often wane as the relationship matures. Dr. Hensley highlights a significant gender difference in sexual experiences, focusing on the primary reason many women lose interest in sex with their husbands. She explains that unmet attachment needs lead women to feel emotionally unsafe, which in turn affects their desire for sexual intimacy. To fully understand this episode, listeners are introduced to key concepts of attachment. Dr. Hensley details how different attachment style dynamics, such as Fearful Avoidant/Dismissive Avoidant and Fearful Avoidant/Fearful Avoidant, impact sexual intimacy when it comes to their individual needs. She also discusses why both men and women seek sex for validation, albeit for different reasons. The episode covers several critical points: - The challenges women face in experiencing pleasure during sex. - The roles of feminine and masculine energy in sexual intimacy. - The characteristics of the wounded masculine energy versus true masculine energy, emphasizing the importance of a man being a trusted decision-maker, who deeply understands and sees his wife. Dr. Hensley provides a broad perspective on what a happy marriage with a healthy sex life looks like and concludes by offering specific insights into what each female attachment style needs for sexual intimacy and emotional safety. While acknowledging the controversial nature of this topic, Dr. Hensley aims to help couples achieve true sexual intimacy, leading to a beautiful and healthy sex life. Tune in for an episode filled with valuable insights and practical advice for rekindling the spark in your long-term relationship.  Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: ·       The gender difference with sexual needs.   ·       One of the main reasons why wives won’t have sex with their husbands. ·       The different attachment style pairings when it comes to sexual intimacy needs. ·       How feminine and masculine energy play a role in sexual intimacy. ·       What the wounded masculine looks like versus the true masculine. ·       What each female attachment style needs to experience sexual pleasure and emotional safety.  Consider/Ask Yourself: ·       Am I contributing to my partners emotional safety to keep our spark alive? ·       Have I ever used sex as a band aid to avoid bigger problems in our relationship? ·       What does it mean for my wife to experience true sexual pleasure? Hint: it is more than just a physical need. ·       For husbands: am I being the emotional leader in my household? ·       For wives: am I allowing my husband to take on a leadership role or am I criticizing him too much? ·       What are my partners attachment needs and am I contributing to meeting them?

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. In a profound exploration of relationship dynamics, *The Love Doc* podcast presents Episode 3: "How Does This Hurt You?" Dr. Hensley embarks on a transformative journey into the heart of conflict resolution, revealing how a single question can hold the key to unlocking deeper understanding and connection in romantic partnerships. The episode opens with Dr. Hensley's poignant reflection on the transformative power of asking the question, "How does this hurt you?" Drawing from her own personal experiences, she shares a compelling real-life example of how this simple yet profound question allowed her to dismantle her own trigger cycle with her husband, leading to breakthroughs in communication and emotional intimacy. Listeners are invited to explore how this question serves as a catalyst for empathy, compassion, and curiosity within relationships, offering partners the opportunity to truly see and hear each other's perspectives. Through vivid storytelling and insightful analysis, Dr. Hensley illuminates how embracing vulnerability and openness can pave the way for resolved conflict resolution and deeper emotional connection. Delving deeper into the complexities of relationship dynamics, Dr. Hensley unpacks why so many couples find themselves trapped in never-ending conflict cycles. She shines a light on the destructive nature of defensiveness and the tendency to perceive one's own reality as the only truth, ultimately leading to stagnation and disconnection in relationships. As the episode unfolds, Dr. Hensley offers practical strategies and tools for breaking free from the cycle of conflict and forging a path towards lasting resolution and harmony with your partner. From fostering active listening skills to cultivating a mindset of empathy and understanding, listeners are empowered to navigate conflict with grace and compassion. By the episode's conclusion, listeners are equipped with a newfound understanding of the transformative power of vulnerability, empathy, and open communication in romantic partnerships. Through Dr. Hensley's expert guidance and heartfelt wisdom, *The Love Doc* podcast Episode 3 serves as a beacon of hope for couples seeking to heal, grow, and thrive in their relationships.   What is covered:  Dr. Hensley’s real life experience on how she used this question with her husband. How this question translates into showing empathy towards your partner in the mist of conflict. How this creates space to show love and compassion towards your partner versus defensiveness. How this question creates space for introspection and growth with you and your partner. Letting go of offensiveness. How conflict should create more closeness and trust in your relationship. Why so many couples get stuck in the never ending conflict cycle.   Consider/Ask Yourself: What is your level of offensiveness/defensiveness within conflict? Are you considering how the things you say may hurt your partner? Are you willing to apologize within conflict? Be the change you want to see in your relationship. Why does being right within conflict matter so much to you? Reality is subjective. How can I be non-defensive enough to ask my partner the question of “how does this hurt you”? Am I allowing my thoughts to ruminate and make me more defensive with my partner?   Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. In the captivating second episode of *The Love Doc* podcast, listeners are taken on an enlightening journey into the depths of the subconscious mind. Dr. Hensley, a specialized social psychologist and host of the show, delves into the intricate workings of this elusive part of the brain, unraveling its mysteries and shedding light on its profound influence on our relationships and emotional well-being. The episode begins with a comprehensive exploration of what exactly the subconscious mind is, backed by solid scientific research and insights. Dr. Hensley breaks down complex concepts into digestible chunks, offering listeners a clear understanding of the subconscious and its role in shaping our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Drawing from years of coaching experience and psychological expertise, Dr. Hensley highlights the profound impact that our early caregivers and childhood wounds have on the development of the subconscious mind. Listeners are invited to reflect on their own upbringing and how it might have influenced their subconscious patterns and beliefs. As the episode progresses, Dr. Hensley unveils the fascinating ways in which the subconscious mind comes to the forefront during times of conflict, illuminating why it can be so challenging to access and understand. Through compelling examples and real-life anecdotes, listeners gain valuable insights into their own subconscious processes and how they manifest in their relationships. One of the most compelling aspects of the episode is Dr. Hensley's exploration of how the subconscious mind operates with each attachment style, but perhaps the most anticipated moment of the episode comes when Dr. Hensley shares powerful strategies for hacking the subconscious mind, empowering listeners to become more securely attached individuals in their relationships. What is covered: What is the subconscious mind and the science behind it. Why the subconscious mind controls nearly 90% of human behavior. How our childhood wounds imprint the subconscious mind. The impact our caregivers have on the subconscious mind. The different sections/types of the brain. How the subconscious mind operates with each attachment style. Understanding how to hack the subconscious mind.   Consider/ Ask yourself How am I responding in conflict? What are some childhood wounds that are influencing my subconscious mind? Are there things I need to forgive my parents for? Is my attachment style influencing how I behave during conflict? How can I start dismantling my own trigger cycle in order to be a better partner and parent? Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice. In the debut Episode of The Love Doc Podcast, "Should I Stay, or Should I Go" Dr. Hensley and Raina Butcher explore the timeless dilemma of whether to remain in a relationship or to part ways. Drawing from her expertise in attachment theory and relationship dynamics, Dr. Hensley examines the various factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction and longevity. Listeners will learn to recognize signs of a healthy relationship, understand red flags indicating it may be time to move on, and gain valuable insights into the decision-making process when it comes to matters of the heart. Listeners can expect engaging discussions, expert insights, and actionable advice that will empower them to make informed decisions about their relationships and personal growth. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visist the links below and follow her on social media. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/ Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/ Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkout Tik-Tok: the_dating_decoder Instagram: @the_dating_decoder Facebook: The Dating Decoder Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley What is covered: The trauma bond and how the brain operates within a trauma bond The cycle of intermittent reinforcement  Toxic hope  The different psychological pathologies that create toxic environments  The psychological science behind infidelity  Why each attachment style cheats Consider/Ask Yourself: Dr. Hensley’s two non-negotiables……. Is there emotional, physical, sexual or financial abuse happening in the relationship? Has there been repeated infidelity?  What does emotional and financial abuse look like? What have you and your partner already tried? How committed is your partner to the process of improving your relationship?