In response to allegations that she had no Native American heritage, Senator Elizabeth Warren proved(?) that she is apparently 1/1024th Native American. In other words, the Kansas City Chiefs are more Native American than Senator Warren.
The reason the thermostat is the last unresolved arena in the battle of the sexes is this: women feel temperature in Kelvin and men feel temperature in Celsius. Women hear 68 degrees and think “Good god that’s insane, is he … Continue reading →
The reason so many people in their late 20’s don’t believe in the doctrine of original sin is because many of them don’t have children. Also, is it a prerequisite for music videos that they have to be completely unintelligible? … Continue reading →
Hell is probably something along the lines of being trapped inside an endless re-run of that Shakira music video where she’s covered in gold paint but instead of Shakira its Bernie Sanders gyrating and hip-thrusting, all the while talking about … Continue reading →
The best trash talkers are golfers. Is that not strange? Also, its really, really difficult to be a baseball fan when there are seven thousand games and your team is terri-awful. In conclusion, dad bods are in style; rejoice and … Continue reading →
Is anybody else ready for sweatshirt and jeans weather?
My two year old has been yelling “I want to see grandma” for 20 straight minutes. In unrelated news, I have just learned that hurling oneself from two stories high doesn’t really hurt that bad.
At this point, the world could be summed up by the first 28 seconds of Galadriel’s prologue from the LOTR/FOTR.
Jesus may not have been an “-ist”, but he definitely would have preferred KC BBQ; its probably the only BBQ for which he’d have disregarded the kosher diet.
Could John Wayne have survived in today’s culture? Who does Selena date now that JB’s up and gettin’ hitched? Are dried cherries and prunes actually the same thing? These and many more questions we ignore in episode six of the … Continue reading →
Who are we kidding; food is the most important component of culture. Exhibit A: tacos.
Remember when no one knew what gluten was? People were probably happier back then.
Let’s be honest: we’re not really sure, either.
As always, our predictions are 100% guaranteed to make you question our decision-making paradigm.