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The Matt and Melissa Show

Author: Matt and Melissa

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The Matt and Melissa Show broadcasts and experiments with various non-toxic substances weekly for an hour and a half. Now the podcast can be heard anywhere with internet; Hamilton, Vineland, Espanola, Fort McMurray, Sioux Lookout, Winnipeg, Inukjuak, Moncton, Dartmouth, Squamish, Moose Jaw and Taloyoak!
5 Episodes
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The Lucky Lager Minute

The Lucky Lager Minute

2019-11-2901:18

#standup for something. Or fall for everything. #BIG #thanks to Mark! Peter! John! Handy Sandy! Dave and Karrie!
Episode 7 or so

Episode 7 or so

2011-07-2001:12:41

Greetings Gentle Listener, Welcome to Episode 7 of the Matt and Melissa Show The Time Travelling Episode! After a not at all brief period the Matt & Melissa Show Podcast is back! (Just pretend) In this episode we relocate to the "outdoor" studio as the temp. soars to an uncomfortable 37c (or 91 f). As goldfish and asstd. feathered friends splash about in waterfall and pond, we can't help but be reminded how incredibly hot we are and how much I wish I had a pool or knew someone who wasn't morbidly obese who owned one. Through the magic of newspaper technology we are able to traverse back and forth through time! (June - July 2011) Yet amazingly, we manage not to disrupt the future despite trying really really hard. At this point I have yet to encounter a time when I am not unbearably hot and the time machine is stuck on July 18th 2001. Feel free to tell us how not-hot we are in this heat at the mmshowpodcast@gmail.com
Episode 4: The Deth-a-sode

Episode 4: The Deth-a-sode

2010-08-1901:22:55

This Week's Sponsors: Death a.k.a.- The Grim Reaper & (stealing from) the Internet -What Did You Do Last Night.... We're still trying to get sued by Rockin' Ray, Michelle Quinn, Oldies 1150 and Astral Media. -There WAS a big meteor shower, but it was last week. And actually it did have a name; Perseids Meteor Shower. Meteors are not uncommon throughout the month of August in the Northern Hemisphere. -Random Holidays in August- There are a lot of 'em in case you wanted to throw an incredibly useless party for someone. Or buy a cake. -Feel the Heat- Old news, but its funny. A fan wore a Lebron James Miami Heat jersey to a Cleveland Indians game. -Holy Feet!- He died for your flip flops. -The Mindset List- Just to remind you how quickly you forget. -Robert Pickton- The Canadian man who answered a "Reaper Wanted" ad. -This Makes No Scents?!!- Pumpkin and Lavendar make men horny... maybe he means hungry? -I Don't Know Wtf Middle Tennesee Is, But 'Little Houdini' Stole Crystal Gayle's Tour Bus- He also escaped from police custody 8 times and he hates that song about him, so we played it for ya. I wonder if Sage Francis knows that... -The HST is the DEATH of the GST/PST. -Music News- Guess who died this week? Thats right, ELVIS AARON PRESLEY. Seriously, his last words were: "I'm going into the bathroom to read". Amazingly the 3 women killed while holding a night vigil outside Graceland weren't actually fans. Death laughed. If this episode caused you or someone near you to die, write to us at: mmshowpodcast@gmail.com This show is dedicated to a great fuckin' guy and an amazing drummer. "There's men, underground and they've never see the sun and they really know how to party"
This week's episode is dedciated to what we (and everyone else) are sometimes; assholes. And we definitely are assholes. Except for once we're also wrongly accused! Matt vs. Matt as we make our first successful on-air phone call to get to the 'bottom' of this asshole business! Cabbage patch doll's. Why is that man's signature on your asshole? Other Matt. What's the deal? Can there only be one? Other Matt phone call. Tip *if you don't want to be on the radio, hang up. Masturbation death story. She masturbated to DEATH! Mel Gibson. People are calling him an asshole for some reason.  Hamilton hate crime and other crime. Hear some asshole statistics! Hogweed. This plant is a real asshole. MUSIC NEWS! With KILLER new production! Birthday Bitches. More people you may or may not know or care about were born!  
The Heatwave Episode Last week we promised episode 2 would be the Keyboard Cleaner huffing episode but as Matt says: "Its too hawt to huff keyboard cleaner". Hottest Places in the World. You wouldn't believe some people don't just catch on fire but you will believe where they are. How much heat does Hamilton bring to the kitchen? Five Minute Mark F*ck Ups Is It Possible to Sweat to Death? Did Matt really get heatstroke? It turns out 'Rehydrate' is a word after all. Water Intoxication: It should be fun since its a type of intoxication right? 1180 Canadians Killed in History's Deadliest Heatwave! Candwich. Its a sandwich and it comes in a can and 3 lovely flavours to rot your gut! PB and Strawberry jelly, PB and Grape jelly and BBQ CHICKEN! Tell Us How You Really Feel. Melissa shares her feelings on the Hamilton Spectator newspaper and reveals the one thing its good for. Food Is Just Another Word For Crack. It turns out everyone knows this including Matt?!! (I didn't) Good News Everyone! They developed 2 more flavours of the Candwich! You've Seen Fat Morrison & Skinny Morrison But You Haven't Seen Skeleton Morrison. I Like Pina Coladas and Matt Hates Getting Caught In The Rain. Alcohol that's enjoyable in the heat. Jennifer Saunders Isn't Dying Darling! BIRTHDAY B*TCHES! People you may or may not know had birthdays. Music News!Someone Finally Got Around to Mapping Ozzy's DNA! ..and it wasn't Sharon.The Lady Gag Gag Love Doll ...and its not a man! Finally, its TV HAT! It's 'hands-free' so you can watch porn on your lunch break! It also comes in 5 colours since 'camo' is a colour in the United States. This weeks sponsor who gave us nothing:Soave white wine. Ginger Ale. Welch's Grape Juice. This weeks show is dedicated to nothing but:Air conditioning. Which we will flaunt to people who live in the hottest places on Earth.   Check out our blog for links, drinks, stinks and pinks!
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