The Motherwhelm

In this episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with Claire, mother of two, singer-songwriter, filmmaker, and creator of the documentary Matrescence: The Hidden World of Motherhood, to talk about what really happens to women when they become mothers.Claire shares how years of working with children left her believing she was well prepared for motherhood, only to discover that nothing had prepared her for the enormity of the transition itself. We talk about her traumatic first birth, breastfeeding difficulties, the loss of autonomy she experienced within maternity care, becoming a mother again during COVID and the years of pushing through until her body eventually forced her to stop.It was through songwriting that Claire began making sense of what she had experienced — eventually discovering the word matrescence, and with it an entirely new way of understanding herself.Our conversation explores maternal ambivalence, identity, postpartum depletion, the cultural pressure for mothers to “do it all”, community and the village, pleasure and sexuality after motherhood, creativity, and what it means to find your voice again after becoming a mother.We also talk about Claire’s forthcoming documentary, Matrescence: The Hidden World of Motherhood, and her hope that giving women language for this enormous transition might help them feel less alone.Topics discussed: matrescence, maternal identity, expectations of motherhood, maternal archetypes, self-sacrificing motherhood, feminism, the mental load, birth trauma, autonomy in birth, caesarean birth, breastfeeding difficulties, postpartum depletion, maternal mental health, maternal ambivalence, motherhood during COVID, burnout, creativity, songwriting, finding your voice, mothers’ groups, community, the village, sexuality after motherhood, the erotic mother, pleasure, desire, being touched out, body connection, separation, co-parenting, boundaries, people-pleasing, perimenopause, becoming, and Matrescence: The Hidden World of Motherhood.

In this episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with Michelle, a psychologist and mum in a blended family of five, to talk about breaking generational cycles, birth trauma, and letting go of the pressure to be the perfect mother.Michelle shares a complicated journey into motherhood that included pregnancy loss, fertility treatment, the breakdown of her relationship during pregnancy, becoming a single mum, and a difficult first birth. We also talk about finding love again, creating a beautifully connected blended family, her subsequent VBAC, and the significant birth injuries and physical recovery that followed.Along the way, Michelle reflects on how her own childhood has shaped the mother she wants to be, the relentlessness of parenting, repairing after we lose our patience, body image after babies, and learning that our children don't need perfection - they need connection.We also talk about how motherhood gave Michelle a sense of purpose she hadn't expected and ultimately led her to combine her work as a psychologist with her passion for pregnancy, birth, and motherhood through perinatal psychology. Resources mentioned:The Great Birth RebellionThe Mel Robbins' Podcast'Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers' by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor MatéTopics discussed: motherhood expectations, perfectionism, good-enough parenting, social media, perinatal psychology, childhood trauma, family violence, breaking generational cycles, unconditional love, rupture and repair, miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, fertility treatment, IUI, relationship breakdown during pregnancy, infidelity, single motherhood, caesarean birth, postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, blended families, co-parenting, VBAC, maternity care, birth trauma, forceps birth, third-degree tear, postpartum haemorrhage, blood transfusion, special care, prolapse, pelvic-floor recovery, body image, stretch marks, subsequent pregnancy after loss, preparing for another birth, relationships after children, the mental load, maternal identity, self-care, career and motherhood, slowing down and being present.

In this mini episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with four mums - Nikita, Caitlin, Nicole and Aline - for an honest conversation about the early months of motherhood.They share what they imagined motherhood would be like, what surprised them once their babies arrived, and what they wish they could go back and tell themselves in those first few weeks. We talk about sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, trusting your instincts, accepting help, finding other mums and learning that there is no single right way to do motherhood. And finally, they share what they would want another mum to know if she were listening in the middle of the night, wondering whether she was doing any of it right.Topics discussed: new motherhood, first-time motherhood, expectations versus reality, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, formula feeding, maternal intuition, unsolicited advice, accepting help, asking for support, loneliness, mothers’ groups, finding community, comparison, trusting yourself, slowing down, the mental load, enjoying the little moments and how quickly the early months pass.

In this episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with Kimberley, founder of Mum Walk, to talk about the reality of becoming a mother far from family during the pandemic, the isolation of early motherhood, and how those experiences eventually led her to build the community she had needed herself.Kim shares the shock of becoming a mother after years of being deeply career-focused, a difficult first birth in London, postpartum depression, and life with a colicky baby while separated from family in Australia. We also talk about her very different second experience of birth and postpartum, the identity shift of matrescence, and why connection with other mothers can make such a profound difference.We then trace Mum Walk from one local Facebook post to a growing grassroots movement creating free, accessible spaces for mothers to walk, talk, and build community together.This is a conversation about giving ourselves more grace, making motherhood visible, and recognising that if we want mothers to have a village, we have to build it together.Resources mentioned:mumwalk.orgTopics discussed:Motherhood identity, matrescence, pregnancy, pelvic girdle pain, maternity care in the UK and Australia, birth during COVID, birth trauma, postpartum depression, colic, sleep deprivation, maternal isolation, second-time motherhood, positive birth, postpartum body changes, chronic pelvic pain, community, friendship, Mum Walk, mothers’ groups, social connection, the nuclear family, third spaces, maternal wellbeing, volunteer community leadership, the mental and unpaid load of motherhood, self-doubt, grace and building the village.

In this episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with Rose to talk about birth trauma, postpartum depression, pregnancy loss, and finding her way back to trust in herself after a difficult beginning to motherhood.Rose shares how the premature birth of her first son and an unexpected caesarean left her feeling unheard, separated from her baby, and struggling with attachment and her mental health in the months that followed.We talk about the expectations we place on that first moment of becoming a mother, what happens when the bond isn't instantaneous, and the lasting impact birth experiences can have on the way we see ourselves and our bodies.Rose also opens up about experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss, navigating pregnancy again after trauma, and eventually preparing for a home birth after caesarean. We explore informed decision-making, maternal intuition, advocacy, and what it can mean to approach birth again after your trust has been shaken.Beyond birth, we talk about identity, relationships, career, community, and the ways motherhood ultimately changed the direction Rose wanted her life to take.This is a conversation about trauma and loss, but also about rebuilding trust, finding support, and discovering that a difficult beginning doesn't have to define the rest of your motherhood story.Resources mentionedGidget HouseThe Great Birth RebellionIna May's Guide to Childbirth — Ina May GaskinZoe BlaskeyThe Birth BagTopics discussed: birth trauma, postpartum depression, maternal-infant attachment, premature birth, caesarean birth, pregnancy loss, recurrent miscarriage, VBAC, home birth after caesarean, birth advocacy, informed decision-making, maternal intuition, matrescence, motherhood identity, relationships, career change, doula support.