Like Competition, the concept of Enough is something I think about a lot. How much is enough?I think about it often in the context of an annual income. How much money does it take to be happy? Or satisfied. Or not upset. Or make ends meet plus a have a little fun. How much money do we really need?And then I think about how some people, maybe not many, but some, make WAY more than enough. And, of course, how many people make far less.But the concept of enough has Natural implications beyond mo...
Who Am I?Why Are We Here?What is My Purpose?Are We Living 'Right'? Questions like this - the 'big questions' have been around since antiquity. It's fun to think about when our brains reached a point in evolution where we started having luxury time.Because it's a luxury to think. To ask these kinds of questions means we've already met our basic needs. At some point, we could sit down and take a breath. And then our brains started flowing.We figured out how to not be hungry.We figured out ...
Have you ever sat down and thought about your values? Values are important, motivating, and provide guidance.I’ve done a lot of values work in therapy and find it challenging. I value many things, but prioritizing the top five to ten is difficult and dynamic.One thing I have learned during over a decade of values work is that many human values suck. I think a lot about universal or ‘optimum’ valuesAre there ‘optimum’ human values? For my purposes, optimum is an adjective meaning mos...
You don’t have to look far to find something to complain about. Climate changeInequalitySuicidal ideationMalnutritionLoneliness The world is full of problems.Now, I’m no doomer. My intent is not to illuminate human suffering. Rather, I accept the Buddhist notion that there will be suffering. My issue is all the EXTRA suffering. I can’t shake the naive, hippie belief that solutions are within our reach. When it comes to the end of the world I’m an optimist.The question is, what ...
Have you seen (or read) “2001: A Space Odyssey”?The story opens at the time of early humans. Folks are going about their business when a ginormous monolith appears. Everyone freaks out at first, but then some develop the ability to use bones as tools. At first, I didn’t understand that the monolith represented punctuated equilibrium. This is a phrase used by evolutionary biologists to describe a quick shift in the fossil record representing a significant change. Compare this to gradualis...
The unexamined life is not worth living — SocratesIt seems natural, even innate, to want to make the most of one’s life. To have a good life seems to require examination. Examining one’s life, growing, and continuing to be aware is part of our purpose.The purpose of life has two branches. The first is the ecological purpose and the second is more metaphysical.The ecological purpose of life is to reproduce to alleviate mortality. In other words, because all life dies, life reproduces itself. I...
Do you suffer?Humans have problems. It’s hard to deny. Despite many pleas for ‘looking on the bright side of life’, we live in a world full of suffering. For whatever reason, I think about these problems, the causes, and potential solutions. While it is difficult to maintain a positive mental attitude and growth mindset, I strive for a balance. I consider how we might improve humanity while not getting bogged down in depression.I think existence consists of two main branches. These ...
Do you ever think about your comfort zone? I’m sure most people are at least aware of the concept.To me, our comfort zone is like an invisible egg that surrounds our physical body. Near the center, we are, well, comfortable. As we near the edges we become less comfortable. Our comfort zone is like a sixth sense. It is more a bodily feeling or awareness than an identifiable sensation. Approaching our comfort zone is unlike hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, or seeing.Why do we experien...
Does science play a role in your life? Do you value hard data and evidence? Do you think humans are good at proving things? Or maybe you defer to religion or culture to decide what is real?I talk a lot about how science is over or undervalued. Some folks think science proves reality. Others think scientists are full of crap.Regardless of how you feel about science, the scientific method is regarded as one of the best tools we have to help us answer questions. One of my favorite questions...
Do other people ever make you angry?I’d be worried about you if you said no. Or assume you are the Dalai Lama. Many of us struggle to find connections to people we disagree with. Or people who act out, are annoying, or mean.I preach a lot about how we are all connected, and how we need to love one another and participate in our communities. But it is so very hard, sometimes, to love everyone or to want to connect.If you struggle with truly feeling connected to people, this article is for...
Have you ever wondered how any two people can have a conversation and walk away feeling both like they were heard and believing they heard the other person?It blows my mind how limiting conversation can be. As magical as language is, it leaves so much room for error. Words mean different things to different people. We hear one thing when they mean another. Context matters. We have different life experiences. There are so many layers that make it easy to misunderstand.Language, like any techno...
I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues. Dr. Seuss, The LoraxDo you have an opinion about climate change? How about abortion? Or universal basic income?We all have our concerns and our hills that we’ll die on. This week I will use climate change as an example of a polarizing issue and make an argument about how neurodiversity may provide a model for solutions.Human beings argue about many polarizing issues, but we often agree about solutions....
What is your experience with therapy? Have you tried it? Wanted to try it? Hesitant to try it? Overwhelmed? Did you have a bad experience? I have noticed some neurodivergent people have had negative experiences with therapy. Here I want to clarify my own story about how both therapy and neurodivergence are helping me heal and become the person I want to be.Briefly, I have been in therapy, counseling, or coaching (I use the general term therapy to describe all of these forms of help) for ...
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”― Charles BukowskiDo you ever think about this? Can you think of an example from your life?Sometimes, it seems we’re surrounded by idiots. And they’re loud. We worship confidence, arrogance, and status. Why are we surprised when the greedy become gluttonous?Why do we not honor traits like kindness, empathy, and connection? A lot of this is fear. We worry abou...
What went right?Do you ever wonder how we got here? Do you ever think about what has changed over hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution?The past few decades have seen exponential growth in technology. Smartphones. Passenger trips to space. Electric vehicles. Lots of crazy new tech. In most of our lifetimes, technological advances have dominated the changes we experience.Science changed the world. Medical advances like germ theory and surgical techniques have arguably improved our ...
Ok, I know, it sounds weird but hear me out. Humans are freaked out by death. I’m not saying I’m any different, just drawing attention to this in hopes of reducing our suffering. Today I’m wondering what life would be like if we could change our relationship with death.The Toltec civilization of Central America considered death an advisor like a friend who gives advice. In this way, Toltecs navigated their lives knowing they were temporary. It is a way to try and make the most of the tim...
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt meDo you remember this nursery rhyme? When I was younger, I believed it. I thought I would rather be yelled at than physically harmed. While I feel lucky to have received more verbal bullying than actual butt-kickings, I’m not so sure the damage was less harmful.As an adult, I realize words have real power and do a lot of harm on their own. Sometimes I wonder if words hurt worse than beatings. Certainly, words don’t ‘never h...
What IS the matter?Matter is an interesting word. It’s a noun and a verb. The noun means something of substance and can be physical or metaphysical. The verb means for something to be important. There’s matter, and there is the matter. I like words like that, but the complication of communication and understanding.The idea of something mattering, as a verb, has been on my mind lately. The last two episodes (here and here) have focused on the relationship between our experiences and our stress...
I couldn’t care less about that.How many times have you said that?We use this phrase as a euphemism to mean we completely don’t like, disagree with, or are opposed to whatever is being discussed. There are things in life we don’t care about, and some things we care a lot about. We pay attention to and direct our energy toward the things we care about. My argument here is caring about things is energetically expensive and we need to be careful.Caring requires attention.We use the ph...
Are you aware of the stress in your life? Can you FEEL it when stressors are building up and you think you may pop? Do you ever feel like you’re right on the verge of a meltdown?I think most of us are familiar with these scenarios. We can only take so much stress.When I was an ecologist, I had a vision for my life’s work. I planned on studying how aquatic ecosystems resist or integrate stressors before they break down. Some streams were beautiful. Full of a diversity of life, clean wate...