The Next Man Up | Equipping Fathers | Raising Men

Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Something to help guide you and provide focus as you navigate the next 12 months? Maybe you’ve never heard of this idea before. In this first episode of the new year, Mark and John get into their experience with this process, what it’s meant to them, and how you can adopt it for yourself, for your marriage and with your kids as well.   A resource to use: https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/   Extended Notes: A word to help focus the next 12 months, different from goals or values Can help establish a fixed posture as you go throughout the year Over time, these words can build and capture your journey from year to year Choose a word in the way you typically make a decision, work with what works for you This can be a way to receive something Father wants to give you Allow the word to inform the entirety of your life Can also do this with your marriage, with your family, and with each of your kids If you do this, you must regularly remind yourself of the word; this activates the brain to help maintain the focus and receive what’s there

Cancel culture is a topic that is current and deserves to be addressed. Bringing back a familiar voice is a good way to do it. Alon Auguste joins us again to do what he always does—speak into current culture with a timely and timeless message. It’s almost a guarantee that you haven’t engaged with this topic in the way Alon does in this episode. Which is why no matter your understanding of this cultural issue, this episode is a must listen. (Originally aired as episodes 170 & 171)

Craig Fullen, champion of the Joyful Mindset, joins the show today to talk about who he is, what he does, and his passion to become the best version of himself and help others do the same. For him, it is best encompassed in the idea of a Joyful Mindset. Join us for this great discussion with Craig. (Originally aired as episodes 98 & 99)   Follow Craig on Twitter @craigfullen

Our guest today is Rich Johnson. He’s a husband, father of 4, pastor, yoga instructor, and you will soon see why he’s someone who is easy to respect and admire. And he’s a black man. Which makes him uniquely qualified to talk about race, both as a man, and also as a father guiding his kids through society today. Let Rich be your guide as we navigate through this big topic of race and racism. (Originally aired as episodes 115 & 116)   Instagram @richjohnsononline

Coach, pastor, and former counselor Twyla Stanifer joins the show today to talk about healthy manhood and identity. How to think about what healthy manhood is and how to engage women, at work and at home, from a place of health and security are just a few of the topics we get into in the first half of this conversation. In the second half, we get deeper into the work she is doing today around understanding how our beliefs — about God, ourselves, others — impact our actions and the results we get in life. We also get into how important it is to help boys understand how to identify what they’re feeling and their belief systems in order to become healthy men. (Originally aired as episodes 111 & 112)   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, author, and speaker Morgan Snyder joins us for one of the best conversations we’ve had on the show. It starts and ends with this idea of becoming, and 2 central questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming. This episode is a must listen! (Originally aired as episode 132)   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Website: becomingaking.com   Expanded Notes:  - Becoming is a central theme for men  - 2 key questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming?  - Male initiation is part of our spiritual growth  - Every great story borrows from the gospel, which is meant to be the greatest story of our lives  - The image of God (imago dei) is evident in the power that boys & men display or pursue  - Initiation is about learning how to use that power to bless others  - The pocket knife as a metaphorical and literal demonstration of power  - We live in a world at war, where it’s hard to be a man (staying true to the process of initiation)  - The magic of the kingdom of God is made available in everyday life

Life will bring you storms. It’s not if but when. But whether you’re in the storm or in pleasant circumstances, gratitude is part of establishing a firm foundation. Blending the real storm of hurricane Ian and this season of giving thanks, John and Mark explore the importance and benefits gratitude on being grounded and strong no matter your circumstances.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Music producer, award winning filmmaker, and man of God, Domingo Guyton, joins the show to share his story. Transformed from a troubled Boston teen to the husband, father, and follower of Jesus he is today, Domingo talks about how his creative gifts are being put to use, on mission, building relationship bridges across various communities and persevering with the vision God has given him.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Contact Info: IG: @thedomingoguyton FB: @domingoguyton Website: domingoguyton.com

When your son asks you what it means to be a man, what will you say? It is imperative that you have a standard against which you can measure how you’re doing as a man and toward which you can guide your son. In part 2 of this conversation, Mark and John offer a definition to help you develop one for yourself or to advance your thinking on this topic toward a better one. NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Expanded Notes: Courage — The ability to face fear and adversity and not be overcome. Rather than retreating or hiding in or from the moment. Honor — The posture of respect and esteem toward others and a resolve to right conduct in your relationship with them. As opposed to being judgmental, arrogant or selfish in your conduct and interactions with others. Faith — Believing that we have a divine Father who loves us and is actively working on our behalf, for our good and the good of others. The opposite of believing we are nothing more than chance or relying only on scientific observation and not acknowledging the mystery or the unknown of life. Love — The decision to actively and purposefully pursue the wellbeing of those for whom you care for and have influence, including yourself. Rather than behavior that is focused only on self gratification and gain. Responsibility — The act of owning your choices and the consequences that result from those choices. The opposite of playing the victim and expecting rescue from someone else. Integrity — The resolve to be and live consistent with who you are and what you believe. Rather than being and doing in the moment what is easiest or most expedient to please or appease others. Strength — The power — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — to stand strong and not be moved. To know who you are and where you are going. The opposite of weakness which leads to compromise or the inability to be who you want to be or do what you want to do. Leadership — The ability to guide yourself and influence others toward a vision of the future that does not yet exist. In contrast to lacking command of yourself and not engaging in opportunities to influence and impact others for good.

What does it mean to be a man? How do you describe manhood? Is your definition one of a healthy and godly man? And, why does it matter? These are the questions Mark and John engage in part 1 of this conversation, to put a stake in the ground about how we define manhood and why it is such important work to do for ourselves and the men-to-be we are raising.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Often, God uses your own story and experience to shape the impact He wants to make through you. Such is the case with Bryce Bouchard. After a childhood in a broken home and a faulty understanding of manhood, he began a quest to discover what it means to be a man which shaped the course of his life. Now, decades later, he’s guiding males of all ages on their own quest to become Noblemen.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Noblemen Ministries: https://noblemenministries.com/  Email: brycebouchard@gmail.com    References:  Isaiah 3 Isaiah 32:8 Jeremiah 9:23-24 Charles Swindoll Great Lives book series   Expanded Notes: Key Identity Descriptors for men: Abiding with God, the center of the target Dialoguing with God; asking, listening and surrendering Love, Lead, Serve, Provide and Protect Developing those around you Portion of the Nobleman Creed: Be physically present and emotionally available Discovering your identity is realizing you are already part of the family, you don’t have to earn a place

Mark goes off! A Facebook post on the topic of wives submitting to husbands is all that was needed to turn on the mics and address this head on. It’s time to change the way we talk about this topic.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   References:  Tim Mackie on Ephesians 5 Ephesians 5 The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast 1 Corinthians 13 Land of Color, Show Me What It Means To Love   Expanded Notes: Shift the conversation from authority to love The growth moment for you may be to initiate the conversation with your wife What could mutual submission look like for your relationship? Men are called to go first, from a place of love and service The lane of authority will eventually lead to abuse Your struggles may be because of trying to live out teaching that just isn’t right You may have opportunities to help other guys, simply by asking them how things are going Or, what would it look like for you to ask for some help from someone you trust? “Wisdom with love equals leadership. Wisdom without love equals manipulation.” Bruxy Cavey What is your example, your marriage, teaching your son about his marriage someday?

A gentleman used to mean certain things, like the way you dress or talk or how you carry yourself. Although we’re familiar with the word today it doesn’t hold the same meaning as it once did. It may not even be a consideration for dads when raising their sons. But perhaps it should. And an old manual from the 1880’s might have more to say about the subject than we at first realize.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   References:  Epoch Times article: https://www.theepochtimes.com/a-gentlemans-instruction-manual-from-the-1880s-explains-how-to-have-manners-general-rules-of-conduct_4488291.html Jeff Foxworthy You Might Be A Redneck If …   Expanded Notes: How are you training your son to become a gentleman? Some examples to consider: Well rounded in activities, including familiarity and appreciation for the creative arts Prepare them for the social settings they will encounter Discuss things like self awareness and non-verbal communication Help him know what to do and not to do with his phone Talk about the principles behind the “rules” or guidelines Encourage him to be present wherever he is Teach him how to respond — to himself and others — when he makes mistakes Tell your stories to your son, what happened and what you learned Intentionally introduce him to new experiences and then guide him through them Grow your own awareness as a father, with humility and learning

Tampa Bay Rays Press Box Supervisor, Dukes Knutson, joins the show to talk about his love for both Jesus and Baseball and how his path has lead to an integration of both. Dukes’ brings his veteran experience and presence to our TNMU Clubhouse and has much to offer us younger men who are also wanting to follow Jesus and pursue dreams.

The names you use to refer to others, including your son, have tremendous power in the message they communicate. But when we’re not aware of that impact or not acting intentionally for the good of the other person opportunities are missed. John and Mark explore what this looks like in practice and in helping your son become a man.   References: The Bible Project   Expanded Notes: Changing of a name can represent a line of demarkation, a transition from what was to what is or what can be; A before and after Whatever language you use to get your child’s attention can become who they believe they are Old Testament era naming often had real meaning based on the circumstances surrounding the birth of the child Even Father God changed the name we know him by as part of expanding how we know him; From El Shaddai to Yahweh to Jesus How you refer to your son in his journey into manhood and after he arrives can be significantly powerful for him What about how you refer to him around his friends or as he becomes a father? How are you honoring, or dishonoring, your son by what you call him? How can you be more intentional with names and nicknames in the process of raising a young man? Discussing this with your son can be rich opportunities for connection and understanding