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The Overwhelmed Brain

The Overwhelmed Brain

Author: Paul Colaianni

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Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.

This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.

Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.

If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
377 Episodes
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We can create our own dysfunction but be so jaded by those around us that we can't think clearly enough to stop toxic or hurtful behavior. There's a time when you have to get away from other people so that the fog can lift and you can think clearly. It is during those times when a lot of healing can take place.
Many unresolved emotions sit outside the box of current thinking. Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” When you aren't getting the results you want today, or you find yourself easily triggered by certain events or people, you may be carrying around old baggage that perhaps requires a level of thinking just outside the box. If you don't want to go outside that box, it could be why you're stuck.
When someone you care about leaves or dies, there is a space inside you where they used to be. Your identity was wrapped up with them. They were a part of you. And because of that, when they're gone, you can feel lost. You can feel lonely within even when you're around others. It's important to start filling that space with something that gives you meaning and purpose.
Where should you start when it comes to healing old stuff from the past? Should you do a deep dive into your childhood, bringing up all kinds of memories and traumas that you may or may not have repeated to therapists over and over again? Or should you talk about how it bothers you today and see if someone can help you gain a new perspective? What about skipping over the trauma and just looking at what behavior came out of it? There's a path you can take to reverse old emotional triggers just by doing something different to get a different result. If it sounds too easy, then you definitely need to listen to this episode.
There's a cause and effect to patterns of behavior that, if you don't recognize the relationship of those behaviors to the results you're getting, you may be creating results that you don't want. However, when you find out just what you're doing that might be causing you to sabotage your own happiness, you might be able to turn things around.
When the feelings of inadequacy overcome you, do you let them linger in the background? Do you repress them so that they come out in emotionally destructive ways later? Inadequacy usually has a source. We'll talk about that and a lot more in this packed episode.
A single thought can change everything. Your perception relies on your mindset which relies on your thoughts. This is a multi-faceted episode covering three different topics but reminding you of the importance of self-respect, creating access to inner resources, and how being around the wrong people can take away both.
Most people aren't taught emotional intelligence in their upbringing. And because of that, there are often lingering negative emotions hanging around inside us that might need to be addressed if we're going to experience a life without the burden of anxiety, depression, and emotional triggers. Getting out of anxiety and depression are often not easy tasks, but there is an angle I take today that might give you a good start.
Sometimes you have no idea why someone did something that hurt or affected you somehow, and you just have to know the reason. You may never find out because they won't share that reason. I call this an open loop. It's how we become obsessed with certain thoughts that we can't get closure for. When this happens, life can seem to stop, and anxiety and depression have a higher chance of starting. It's time to close the door on old thought patterns that only do us harm.
Part 2 of a two-part episode. Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely different animal. In part two, I add more principles, or "commandments", to help you improve your life.
Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely different animal. Let's talk about applying these principles, or "commandments", to your life.
About 90% of the people that reach out to me have a question about their romantic relationship. That makes sense because relationships can be complex and tricky to navigate. In this episode, I tackle four relationship questions and share some of the lessons I've learned over the years in my own life.   For more guidance on difficult relationships, head over to
Whether it's the jerk at work or that one person in your family that just doesn't like you, rude and intimidating people can be found in any corner of the world (and under many rocks). In this episode, I share seven suggestions that will help you counter those behaviors and perhaps even make some of these people start respecting you again.
Getting comfortable in your own skin is more than developing confidence and facing the fear and doing it anyway. Confidence is one component. There is also self-worth, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-love that needs to occur so that even if the most hurtful person tries to criticize you or put you down, you will know yourself so well that it will be impossible to believe what they are saying about you. To stop self-sabotage, check out the workbook here:
Passive-aggressive people have a knack for making you feel bad without you even realizing they're making you feel bad. Their covert methods are designed to poke at your emotions like tiny emotional daggers. If you want to thwart their often hurtful behavior, it's vital to take them out of ambiguity and into the details. This might be the scariest episode ever for the passive-aggressive person in your life.
Your sexual history is yours, but some people like to make it a big deal and cause you to feel guilt or shame for things you did long ago. Whether you regret what you did in the past shouldn't make a difference because it's your past and no one else's. Other people need to keep their eyes off of your rearview mirror and put their focus on the road right in front of them.
If you gave yourself a +1 for every empowered decision you made and a -1 for decisions made that avoided consequences, would you be abundant in personal power or in deficit?   Every decision you make and every action you take every day either adds to your power or depletes it. It's important to be conscious of this as those 1's can add up quickly! You just want to make sure you're going in the right direction more often than not.
It's one thing to be afraid to fall off your bike. It's another to never consider riding one just in case you fall. The fear of failing can be imagined as so traumatic and painful to some that they literally do nothing instead. As you know, doing nothing leaves you in a rut. It is the fastest way to go nowhere. Maybe it's time to learn to redefine failure and learn what success actually feels like.
If you want a toxic person to change, it will probably never happen. However, there is something you can do to change the course of the relationship that may actually cause them to act differently. Sometimes you gotta make rules that guide toxic people to healthier behavior.
When you have emotional reactions that you don't want to have toward someone you care about, you probably try to control yourself but fail. Because of that, the pattern repeats itself over and over again until you heal from some past event or shift your perception so much that what used to bother you simply disappears. That shift is possible.
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Comments (159)

Somayeh Ganji

The sense of ever growing and improvement is established when the host genuinely has the same spirit. Immensely greatful for keeping life fresh all over.🙏🙏🙏

May 19th
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luhkeebae

Excellent episode Paul! I love the idea you put forth regarding seeing your future self at the grocery store and being overcome with joy--you knew life was going to be alright at that point. It runs parallel to the concept, 'change your thoughts, change your life,' in that all one must do is believe and heavy burdens can be genuinely lifted from your shoulders. If you can believe it and perceive it, then it truly becomes your reality. Perception is reality and that truly matters if you want to change your outlook on life. I can see how someone might try to say the concept is too cheesy and superficial, but it's really not. If internalized deeply, you can change your life for the good by understanding and utilizing this. Thanks Paul! 💯 💛JamieTheOverwhelmedBrain

May 14th
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Somayeh Ganji

What I absolutely love about this show is that Paul doesn't deceive his listeners claiming he has the ultimate solution and leaves the decisions to those who should make them for their own improvement. That I believe is the meaning of Liberty.

Apr 4th
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Stacey Willard

very timely podcast! Thanks again!

Jan 30th
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Somayeh Ganji

Yet more seriously, what proof is needed to say that this show and your helping hand is nothing short of wonder since you have avid listeners from literally the other side of the planet?

Jan 13th
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Somayeh Ganji

psst, you ARE a superstar 😁

Jan 13th
Reply (1)

Kati Florida

I feel like fears are much different when we have children. Our thoughts as parents are mostly based around our fears For our kids. What will happen to them if something happens to me?

Jan 12th
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luhkeebae

What an excellent & thoughtful episode, Paul! 💯 I am so thankful for your podcast--I cannot thank you enough! I find myself at a loss of words when I try to articulate the profound impact your podcast has had on my life. You are appreciated, Paul! 💛

Jan 7th
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Stu Cook

Great episode and that closing thought was totally relevant to me! 👍

Dec 23rd
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Stu Cook

Another incredibly helpful episode today. Practical and insightful as always. 👍

Dec 16th
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Stu Cook

A really, REALLY useful episode for me today! 👍

Dec 2nd
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Irna Spigariol

I love the podcast apart from the introduction which reminds me of a tele marketing advertisement.

Nov 30th
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Irna Spigariol

I understand letting go and it's given me a lot of peace

Nov 30th
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Somayeh Ganji

15min into the show I had to stop it to dry my face from all the mixed tears of joy and pain to say thank you so much. I'm sure a lot of your listeners feel the same, like they're in a conversation but this episode came up in one of my darkest hours. May you have Midas hands without the undesirable side effects. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nov 29th
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Irna Spigariol

excellent podcast, although its very confronting to acknowledge all my defence mechanisms.

Nov 26th
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Stu Cook

To sum this content up in a HELLUVA lot less time than this runs for... if you don't like the results you are getting, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

Nov 25th
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Somayeh Ganji

Wow! I did it in a master's class and OMG! I'm still shaking me excitement of the results. Only an ex-people pleaser such as me can fully grasp the huge difference this episode has made. Thank you so very much 👍👍👍

Nov 16th
Reply (1)

Stu Cook

Some very practical advice today. 👍 For me, social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok et al are just a colossal waste of time. I have better things to do and my time is too valuable to me to throw away. Life is too short.

Nov 11th
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Stu Cook

This is probably the first episode where I haven't agreed with everything Paul has discussed. But that's why I like the show. He's not telling what to do, more like giving advice on how to deal with the difficult emotional baggage that's just part of life amongst people.

Oct 21st
Reply (2)

Stu Cook

Another very thought-provoking episode today, Paul. 👍 Growth cannot happen without change so if we want different results we HAVE to change what we are DOING.

Oct 14th
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