DiscoverThe Overwhelmed Brain
The Overwhelmed Brain

The Overwhelmed Brain

Author: Paul Colaianni

Subscribed: 32,210Played: 530,110


Anxiety, depression, fears, obsession, panic, or any relationship, marriage or family issues, this show will help you achieve less stress and more happiness. Become empowered and honor yourself so that you can make decisions that are right for you. Mindfulness, compassion and being in the present moment are only components of a bigger picture. Live authentically and strengthen your emotional intelligence to avoid emotional abuse. Get to the root of emotional issues with solid relationship advice and personal help. If affirmations don't work and you're tired of being told to "think positively!", start listening to this show for a better life.
322 Episodes
I read three emails that dive into awkward feelings when interacting with others, deciding whether to settle for someone who doesn't know what they want in a relationship, and someone who wrote to me saying that they are lonely and depressed. Lots of variety makes for a packed show. Visit for more episodes.
The challenges of today seem greater than ever. Emotions are running high and we can become triggered easily. What do you do with all this pent up energy? If you're not using it to fight for a cause or help you out of a dangerous situation, it may be festering inside you causing you to feel pretty rotten. In this episode, I give you questions that you can ask yourself to get out of the whirlwind of negativity and into a calmer space inside you. visit for more episodes.
Obsessing about your ex wastes all your time and keeps you in a rut that you can't get out of until you take hard steps to disconnect from them completely. That involves a lot of will power and a lot of knowing that you are amazing, worthy and lovable. Visit for more episodes
Dealing with mean family

Dealing with mean family


There is a way to deal with mean family members. It may involve treating them like other people instead of family, which can help you disconnect from wanting to impress them or be loved by them. Or if you're not trying to do that, and you're just trying to get along with them, you might have to dive further into your bag of tools. Visit and for more episodes.
When you're in a situation that needs to change, but you're too afraid to take a stand or just hope it changes on its own, you may be waiting forever. Unfortunately, waiting for changes can often involve exposing yourself to a toxic environment, causing long-term emotional damage. If you want change, you might have to take a big scary step to get it. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
When you can't find meaning and purpose in your life and you're not sure what your next steps are, and perhaps you're feeling antsy or anxious about those next steps, sometimes you have to think outside yourself and figure out what really brings you meaning. I keep the existential very practical in this episode, so maybe it's the trip you've been wanting to take for a while. Visit for more episodes.
If you love someone, can you set them free to the point where they hit bottom? Sometimes the bottom is the only way back to the top. Tough love exists for a reason and sometimes it is the only way to see true change in someone who is being self-destructive. At that same time, it's important to define what love really is and if you are showing it and receiving it in a way that is healthy for everyone. It's not always easy to love, but it can be extremely rewarding when you have the right formula. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
Ever have someone just not take a liking to you? When that happens, do you brush it off and move on with your day? Or do you brood about it wondering what you did wrong and what you can do right to make them like you? Is it okay to not be liked? I talk about that and more in this episode. visit and for more episodes
Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
When you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode.   visit and for more episodes.
The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit and for more episodes about this and more subjects.
When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit for more episodes and check out for The SAFE System on Anxiety
When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day.   Websites: Difficult Relationships:
What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: The Overwhelmed Brain website: The Love and Abuse website for emotionally abusive relationships:
When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today.   Get more TOB at Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at
We're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit if you are having difficulty in your relationship. #emotionalintelligence #selfhelp #personalgrowth #lifeishard #personaldevelopment #selfhelptools #beyourself #authenticity #unlimitedpotential #motivational #youareamazing
You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit For help in navigating the difficult relationship, visit
Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.
Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.
Can you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing from your life can make a big change.
Comments (87)

Stu Cook

I always feel inspired to keep on the road to change with podcasts like this one. Good work 👍

Jun 12th
Reply (1)


in this crazy world where we have to face crazy neurotic toxic incompetent people, our brain can be overwhelmed..paul advice is perfect medicine to dealing with conflict so wonderfully while being a friendly human being we strive to be.. i love the way he speaks n hypotheticals are so relatable. love this podcast.

May 28th
Reply (1)

Vijay Makvana

this is one of my favourite podcasts ever

May 20th
Reply (1)

Stu Cook

Thank you for your down-to-earth delivery! 👍 This is something that I have come to consider as quite vital after belatedly seeing I was spending too much time with the wrong people and was blissfully ignoring the consequences of what it was doing to me mentally and emotionally. I'm back on track now, thankfully, so hope to consume more content like this in the coming weeks.

May 13th
Reply (1)

so ga

You are AMAZING! You really are. This episode brought waves of relief to see that is actually something I can do on my own to heal. Thank you 👍👍👍

May 10th
Reply (1)


wow this an amazing podcast i love how he thinks n spks like common person so makes us relatable n not like a monologue lecture n best of all very positive speaker. adding this podcast to my favs

May 10th

Stu Cook

As a first time listener, I am glad to have found your podcast. I struggle sometimes with communication and hearing your advice will help me, hopefully, to barricade my boundaries and sustain my standards growing healthy relationships out of them. Thank you.

May 6th

Jessica Rogers

I appreciate this episode on so many levels. I especially love the way you repeat important and related advice throughout the episode. Can't hear it enough. Thank you.

Apr 26th
Reply (1)

so ga

At times like this I wish I could join your patrons more than ever but toxic people have made my life a living hell when they made decisions in 1978. Yet, I won't give up, thanks to your podcast. Who knows, maybe some day soon, things will be different!

Apr 1st
Reply (1)

so ga

At the risk of sounding awfully sentimental you're a dimond in the rough world of confrontation. Thanks a million.

Mar 24th
Reply (1)


In all respect, I think you’re being far too kind to the media. They are fear mongering so many things in addition to the virus. Free press should support a democracy, but many seem to be doing the exact opposite....

Mar 17th
Reply (1)

Jane Martin

Jello. Good visual of the quivering inertia that finally hit me. I'm not ready for a full 12 rounds but slowly getting off the mat.

Mar 14th
Reply (1)

Loretta McLean

I do agree

Jan 20th


Thank for all that u do. U have no idea how u helped me

Dec 17th
Reply (1)

Discernment Queen

I love your work. 💯🙏🏽My favorite Podcast by far. I am having a hard time breaking up with boyfriend of 15 years. I am very close right now after binge listening to your Podccast. 🤔🤷🏽‍♀️

Dec 11th
Reply (1)

Amanda Odom

this podcast is the most amazing thing in the world. I have listened to so many different podcast that try to speak about the same things that have only made me feel worse. this gives me so much hope and happiness it's insane that one man can explain so many things in such a different way that really reach you. I only wish I found it sooner thanks for all you do you paul you are truly and inspiration.

Nov 18th
Reply (1)

Stacey Willard

as always, you are spot on. very helpful, valuable information.

Nov 17th
Reply (1)

Rhonda R Rhoades

Thank you for this podcast, it literally brought me to tears. It is everything I am dealing with and it is so helpful to know I'm not alone in these experiences.

Oct 24th
Reply (2)


im a male from a sydney australia, discovered your podcast in September 2019. love your style and love your work

Sep 28th
Reply (1)


uh oh.... you hit a nerve with this one Paul. I'm glad my nerves are less aggressive & more absorbent! high levels of tolerance!

Jul 27th
Reply (1)
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store