DiscoverThe Overwhelmed Brain
The Overwhelmed Brain

The Overwhelmed Brain

Author: Paul Colaianni

Subscribed: 31,894Played: 508,630


Anxiety, depression, fears, obsession, panic, or any relationship, marriage or family issues, this show will help you achieve less stress and more happiness. Become empowered and honor yourself so that you can make decisions that are right for you. Mindfulness, compassion and being in the present moment are only components of a bigger picture. Live authentically and strengthen your emotional intelligence to avoid emotional abuse. Get to the root of emotional issues with solid relationship advice and personal help. If affirmations don't work and you're tired of being told to "think positively!", start listening to this show for a better life.
315 Episodes
Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
When you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode.   visit and for more episodes.
The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit and for more episodes about this and more subjects.
When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit for more episodes and check out for The SAFE System on Anxiety
When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day.   Websites: Difficult Relationships:
What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: The Overwhelmed Brain website: The Love and Abuse website for emotionally abusive relationships:
When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today.   Get more TOB at Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at
We're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit if you are having difficulty in your relationship. #emotionalintelligence #selfhelp #personalgrowth #lifeishard #personaldevelopment #selfhelptools #beyourself #authenticity #unlimitedpotential #motivational #youareamazing
You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit For help in navigating the difficult relationship, visit
Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.
Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.
Can you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing from your life can make a big change.
What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to make, you end up holding on to resentments and building a wall around your heart so that you connect less and are more unhappy in general.
Social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you're dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or loneliness, and you feel like you're not living life to the fullest, this episode may be what gets you through the challenges. Get the SAFE Empowerment System for Social and Generalized Anxiety at
There's a path out of misery that some people don't take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today's episode talking about the coronavirus and what you can do when you don't know what to do.
There are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging our challenges and keeping us from moving forward. The choices you make in crucial, challenging moments such as this can define your entire life, let alone predict your future level of happiness.
If you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it's time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.
Are you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone's bad behavior. In segment two, I change it up and talk about child sexual abuse and what might happen when the family secret is found out.
When you're needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life. Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear, you might actually starting enjoying life again.
This episode is about selfishness. When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you're in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation. It's important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don't lose a bit of yourself.
Comments (79)

Vijay Makvana

this is one of my favourite podcasts ever

May 20th

Stu Cook

Thank you for your down-to-earth delivery! 👍 This is something that I have come to consider as quite vital after belatedly seeing I was spending too much time with the wrong people and was blissfully ignoring the consequences of what it was doing to me mentally and emotionally. I'm back on track now, thankfully, so hope to consume more content like this in the coming weeks.

May 13th

so ga

You are AMAZING! You really are. This episode brought waves of relief to see that is actually something I can do on my own to heal. Thank you 👍👍👍

May 10th


wow this an amazing podcast i love how he thinks n spks like common person so makes us relatable n not like a monologue lecture n best of all very positive speaker. adding this podcast to my favs

May 10th

Stu Cook

As a first time listener, I am glad to have found your podcast. I struggle sometimes with communication and hearing your advice will help me, hopefully, to barricade my boundaries and sustain my standards growing healthy relationships out of them. Thank you.

May 6th

Jessica Rogers

I appreciate this episode on so many levels. I especially love the way you repeat important and related advice throughout the episode. Can't hear it enough. Thank you.

Apr 26th

so ga

At times like this I wish I could join your patrons more than ever but toxic people have made my life a living hell when they made decisions in 1978. Yet, I won't give up, thanks to your podcast. Who knows, maybe some day soon, things will be different!

Apr 1st
Reply (1)

so ga

At the risk of sounding awfully sentimental you're a dimond in the rough world of confrontation. Thanks a million.

Mar 24th
Reply (1)


In all respect, I think you’re being far too kind to the media. They are fear mongering so many things in addition to the virus. Free press should support a democracy, but many seem to be doing the exact opposite....

Mar 17th
Reply (1)

Jane Martin

Jello. Good visual of the quivering inertia that finally hit me. I'm not ready for a full 12 rounds but slowly getting off the mat.

Mar 14th
Reply (1)

Loretta McLean

I do agree

Jan 20th


Thank for all that u do. U have no idea how u helped me

Dec 17th
Reply (1)

Discernment Queen

I love your work. 💯🙏🏽My favorite Podcast by far. I am having a hard time breaking up with boyfriend of 15 years. I am very close right now after binge listening to your Podccast. 🤔🤷🏽‍♀️

Dec 11th
Reply (1)

Amanda Odom

this podcast is the most amazing thing in the world. I have listened to so many different podcast that try to speak about the same things that have only made me feel worse. this gives me so much hope and happiness it's insane that one man can explain so many things in such a different way that really reach you. I only wish I found it sooner thanks for all you do you paul you are truly and inspiration.

Nov 18th
Reply (1)

Stacey Willard

as always, you are spot on. very helpful, valuable information.

Nov 17th
Reply (1)

Rhonda R Rhoades

Thank you for this podcast, it literally brought me to tears. It is everything I am dealing with and it is so helpful to know I'm not alone in these experiences.

Oct 24th
Reply (2)


im a male from a sydney australia, discovered your podcast in September 2019. love your style and love your work

Sep 28th
Reply (1)


uh oh.... you hit a nerve with this one Paul. I'm glad my nerves are less aggressive & more absorbent! high levels of tolerance!

Jul 27th
Reply (1)

Gülay Kilic

Dear Paul, thank you so much for finding the right words and topics! 👍 👍 👍 👍 It's sooooo great to listen to your podcast and all the amazing advice you share!👌 I've just started recently, therefore still catching up with the old episodes. Greetings from Germany 😊

Jul 24th
Reply (1)

Gülay Kilic

Great episode and show! Thank you so much! ❤️ P. S. I'm listening from Germany and wanted to use your link to Amazon, but apparently it only works for the "Amazon.COM" version and not for the one in Germany = ending with " .De" ==> any chance to also get this implemented for other country domains? I would be happy to purchase then via your link 😊 Thanks again and greetings!

Jun 18th
Reply (1)
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store