The Parenting Reframe

In this heartfelt solo episode, host Albiona Rakipi dives deep into one of the most common (and emotionally triggering) parenting challenges: separation anxiety. But this isn’t your typical advice—this is a powerful reframe.You’ll learn why children protest when you leave, why dragging out your goodbye actually makes things harder, and how your own guilt might be sending the wrong message—even when you mean well.Most importantly, this episode gives you practical, loving strategies to help your child build self-trust, navigate hard feelings, and develop resilience, while giving yourself full permission to live a full, joyful life.Whether you’re heading to work or heading to dinner with friends, this episode reminds you: your joy is not selfish—it’s vital.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why separation anxiety is not “bad behavior,” but a growth edgeThe #1 mistake parents make when saying goodbye (and how to fix it)What your child actually needs in those tough emotional momentsHow to build a "bridge" between separation and safetyWhy your self-trust is the foundation for your child’s regulationHow to reframe “mom guilt” when you choose something just for youThe link between predictability and reduced anxiety in kidsThe critical difference between empathy and enmeshmentReal-life scripts and object-leaving strategies to ease transitionsWhy calm isn’t the opposite of anxiety—self-trust isQuotes to Remember:“The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm—it’s self-trust.”“Every time you go back in a panic, you’re telling your child they can’t handle hard things.”“Your child doesn’t need you to sacrifice everything—they need you to model wholeness.”“Joy begets joy. When you honor your needs, your kids benefit too.”Resources Mentioned:Substack Paid Parenting Community: https://albiona.substack.com/subscribeBook a 1:1 Coaching Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/albiona324/discovery-call Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeThe key differences between consequences and punishmentsWhy kids need consequences to feel safe and learn boundariesHow punishments often come from a place of reactivity and dysregulationThe role of natural consequences (like forgetting a water bottle) and logical consequences (thoughtful parent responses)Why the boundary itself often is the consequenceHow to implement breaks/resets (instead of timeouts) to help kids regulateThe importance of creating safe struggles to build resilienceWhen redirection works best (and why it backfires with older kids)Scripts and phrases you can use to give your kids autonomy while holding limits Resources & LinksExplore coaching and parenting support at The Parenting ReframeBook a free discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching is right for your family Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this warm conversation Tembi and Albiona cover:How From Scratch began — writing personal grief into a story that reaches others, and how that book later became a Netflix limited series. (Simon & Schuster)What “re-nesting” means (replacing the idea of an “empty nest” with a more generative, whole concept) and practical ways parents can prepare emotionally for children leaving home. (People.com)The creative process Tembi uses: listening, journaling, & exploring different art forms; writing as a practice to slow down and make meaning. (tembilocke.com)Concrete ideas listeners can use right away: short daily rituals (15–45 min), journaling prompts, scheduling “pre-planned joy,” somatic self-care, and negotiating new family rhythms like weekly check-ins.A deep look at Someday, Now — why Tembi created an immersive audio experience (ambient Sicily soundscapes plus narration), and what she hopes listeners will feel after they finish it: that there is possibility, love, and room for transformation even in endings. (Audible.com)Resources & linksTembi Locke — official site / about & book resources. (tembilocke.com)From Scratch — publisher page (Simon & Schuster). (Simon & Schuster)Someday, Now — Simon & Schuster audio page (audio edition/details). (Simon & Schuster)Someday, Now — Audible audio listing/preorder. (Narrated by Tembi Locke; release details & preorder.) (Audible.com)Tembi Locke on Instagram (announcements & behind-the-scenes). (Instagram) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeThe inspiration behind Kids These Days and why Dr. Dobud and Dr. Harper felt compelled to write it.The three frameworks of the book: interference, intervention, and ideology—and how they’re shaping modern childhood.Why blaming phones and social media is an oversimplification of a much bigger picture.The concept of digital integration vs. digital interference—and how parents can approach technology more thoughtfully.How to foster resilience and mastery in kids without overstepping or over-fixing.The overlooked power of gratitude, generosity, and noticing what’s working in our kids.Why boundaries paired with empathy create the conditions for true growth.A reframe for parents: shifting from control and fear to presence, connection, and curiosity.Resources & Links🌟 Preorder Kids These Days by Dr. Will Dobud & Dr. Nevin Harper: kidsthesedaysbook.comConnect with Dr. Will Dobud on social media and at outdoortherapycentre.comLearn more about my work with parents: The Parenting ReframeFollow me on Instagram and TikTok for more parenting information⭐️ If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more parents can discover these conversations.   Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I’m back for another solo episode today after a little bit of a summer break. I gathered some of your most common questions from my workshops, coaching sessions, and social media comments. In this episode I’m walking you through a few of the struggles that share a common thread and giving insight into what makes these things difficult for parents and how to work through them.Kids Who Don’t Like LosingThere are a lot of triggers for parents that come along with having a child who doesn’t like to lose which can cause eggshell parenting.When your child struggles to deal with something like disappointment or frustration, the answer is always that they need to experience it more often.Your reaction to their emotions as a parent is so important. Staying regulated in the moment will help deescalate the situation.Lectures don’t work. You’re helping them learn the life skill of tolerating frustration and managing the emotions that come with the frustration. Public OutburstsWe sense all of the people in a public situation and it usually feels much more judgmental in our minds than it actually is because of insecurities. When our ability to parent is tethered to our child’s behavior, it makes things very difficult.Make an action plan and practice getting cooperation at home so your child is prepared when you do a test run in public. Set your kids up for success so you aren’t trying to complete tasks when they’re already over tired, hungry, etc.PARR This was created for anyone who needs to work through managing their own emotions and reactions. Pausing is an important reminder that we can take the time to slow down and not make rapid fire decisions in the moment.Always reflect on “what does my child need at this moment?” You know your child best and can better understand their needs when you have paused.When Your Kids Don’t ListenWe rely on the idea that if our kids have the knowledge, they will react or behave appropriately. This simply isn’t true because their brains aren’t developed in this way yet.Kids are wondering “what happens when…” and they are curious what the outcome will be on the other side of their behavior. Once they know the action that is paired with your language is consistent, they will start listening better.We need to remember kids are simple and we usually overcomplicate things.Resources: Getting Your Kids to Listen the First Time You Ask Workshop: https://www.theparentingreframe.com/shop/p/getting-your-kids-to-listen-the-first-time-you-ask Four Reaction Types Podcast Episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/beyond-good-or-bad-the-3-parental-reaction-blueprintsSchedule a free call about my 1:1 coaching, Reclaim Your Calm - https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coachingBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s solo episode, I’m answering your questions about how to ensure we don’t raise entitled kids. This is an important question that many of you have asked me on all my platforms. Being entitled can be a very triggering thing for a lot of parents, especially those that grew up without a lot of wealth. We want to teach our kids a sense of gratitude and caring for others. What it really comes down to is teaching kids the ability to tolerate frustration and deal with an outcome they don’t want. I’m sharing three things you can do at home to help build a tolerance for frustration.Gain the ability to waitWaiting will elicit frustration in kids, but if they want it badly enough, they will wait it out.How often do we quickly accommodate simple tasks for our child when we could weave in a wait time?By doing this, we are delaying gratification.Play a game with your childMake sure you go first and they go second.Find the longest amount of time they can wait, and then allow them to take their turn. Meet them where they’re at no matter how short the amount of time they can wait is.Let them struggle through a taskKids will often feign an ability to do something on their own even though they’re capable.The whining that happens with a task they don’t want to do is because they can’t tolerate the frustration of struggling with a task.Encourage them to keep trying, assuming you have the time.Resources: Paid Substack Community - https://albiona.substack.com/Schedule a free call about my 1:1 coaching, Reclaim Your Calm - https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I get asked all the time about creating content and writing. In this video, I share a few tips on where to start if you don’t consider yourself creative, as well as the three books that changed the way I approach creativity, vulnerability, and fear.Here are the three books I mentioned:The Tools and True and False Magic. The Tools is by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels, and True and False Magic is written by Phil Stutz and Elise Loehnen (I spoke with Elise about this book on the podcast; you can listen here).Awaken Your Genius by Ozan Varol (He is one of my favorite writers)The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (Morning pages changed my life) If the messages I’m sharing in this series resonate with you, I’d like to dive deeper to help you break free from what's holding you back.My transformation sessions are designed to help you move through fear, release blocks, and embrace change, guiding you to unleash the greatest version of yourself. Through a unique inner-parenting approach, you'll gain the tools to navigate any adversity.Email me at albiona@theparentingreframe.com to start your transformative journey. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this quick solo episode, I’m talking about a newsletter I wrote on Substack about reaction types. There are many different ways parents can react when their child becomes dysregulated, pushes against a boundary they have set, or throws a tantrum. Many of these reactions are rooted in the ways we were raised by our parents or the experiences we had as we grew up. Today, I’m going to talk about the three reaction types I encounter most frequently during my coaching with parents and working with families, and I'll also provide a bonus reaction type at the end of the episode.1. Hyper-Reactor or the Punisher The parent who will go from zero to 100 instantly and doesn’t have the tools to regulate themselves.They feel discomfort because of their child’s reaction to something they don’t like. This may be rooted in an association from their own childhood, where they didn’t feel safe expressing their own emotions. Sometimes this can feel like the child is being disrespectful to the parent. 2. Panicked ParentThe parent who knows to control their big emotions around their child who is struggling but they are terribly uncomfortable with the situation.This parent over explains the boundary or tries to justify the decision or offer other choices to make the situation better.This isn’t perceived as a good thing by the dysregulated child, it just feels like more input and they cannot tolerate it. 3. The AdjustorThe parent who is an overthinker and is second guessing their boundaries all the time.When they go to hold a boundary and their child pushes back against it, they make adjustments to their boundary to avoid or stop dysregulation. This is a band aid approach to parenting because it doesn’t teach kids how to tolerate frustration. Bonus Type: Avoidant ParentThe parent who doesn’t have a hard time staying calm, but struggles so much to set a boundary, and avoids it at all costs. They are eggshell parenting and have crafted a perfect environment so their kids don’t have to experience any sort of hardship. Avoidant parents shut down when their kids become dysregulated.Resources: Substack newsletter - Beyond ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’: The 3 Parental Reaction Blueprints: https://albiona.substack.com/p/beyond-good-or-bad-the-3-parentalPARR Workshop: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/parrworkshopBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In the first video of my series, In Case You Were Wondering (This is a video series where I share wisdom and answer the questions I get that aren’t directly related to parenting), I’m tackling the first question most of you ask me: How do you move through fear?In this 6-minute video, I will help you shift from a fear-based mindset to welcoming more faith and trust into your process. What I cover:Growing an audience on social media when it feels dauntingAddressing limiting beliefsMaking career pivotsTaking ChancesMy two-step process for choosing faith over fearEnjoy, and feel free to leave a comment or share it with a friend. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Today on the podcast I’m welcoming back New York Times Bestselling Author Elise Loehnen. If you haven’t listened to the first episode where Elise was on The Parenting Reframe Podcast, it gives a great overview and conversation about her first book, On Our Best Behavior. You can listen to it here: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/on-our-best-behavior-with-elise-loehnenElise is the author of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good, True and False Magic, a collaboration with Phil Stutz, and her workbook coming out soon, Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness. There are so many things we talk about in this episode from the creative process to parenting, the social context of her books to the ways women feel in their own bodies, and so much more. It’s always a pleasure to talk with Elise and get her perspective on so many different topics.Here’s what we talk about with Elise: Elise’s writing processes and how she uncovers societal norms and expectations through her work.An overview of her book On Our Best Behavior and how society forces women to be inherently good through the lens of the seven deadly sins. Her companion workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness and how it helps individuals work through their own beliefs and change the negative narratives. How the stories you tell about yourself are almost always rooted in lack. What we can learn about compassion and patience from neurodivergent children.Recognizing as parents we need to relinquish control over our children and be a safe place for them to land. Letting go of micromanaging our kids to allow them to develop their own roadmap to reach their goals.The amount of energy and self monitoring it takes to stay a certain size or weight as a woman and the mental toll it takes over time. An overview of True and False Magic and how life is an ongoing evolution of feelings and emotions to work through.Resources: Elise’s first Parenting Reframe podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/on-our-best-behavior-with-elise-loehnenElise’s podcast, “Pulling the Thread”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen/id1585015034On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good: https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehaviorTrue and False Magic: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/778182/true-and-false-magic-by-phil-stutz-with-elise-loehnen/Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771811/choosing-wholeness-over-goodness-by-elise-loehnen-and-courtney-smith/ For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On this week’s episode, I am talking to Dr. Cindy Hovington, founder of The Curious Neuron and the Reflective Parenting podcast. Dr. Hovington is a mom of three and has a doctorate in neuroscience. Her goal is to break down science-backed research on child development and parenting and turn it into applicable advice for parents. She is very passionate about parental well-being as she knows we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of our children. We discuss tantrums, setting boundaries, and strategies to keep yourself calm while meeting your child’s needs. This is the episode for you if you experience these challenges and want to understand more about the science of parenting.Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Hovington: How The Reflective Parenting Club was created to help parents find best practices while effectively managing emotions and stress.Acknowledging when we as parents are not sitting in the most calm emotional space and being able to pause and communicate these feelings to others.Parenting and changing behaviors takes time and does not change overnight.Using boundaries and discipline as a way to teach our kids what to do or not to do in order to set them up for success.Creating awareness around your own physical state can help calm stressful situations.How emotional states and stress can affect the overall state of your home and the way your child reacts in certain situations.Resetting challenging moments throughout your day to create moments of joy.Sharing your emotions with your kids can help create connection and evolve trust.Resources: The Curious Neuron website: https://curiousneuron.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/curious_neuronFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/curiousneuronThe Reflective Parent Club: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Reflective Parenting Podcast: https://curiousneuron.com/podcasts/ For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Back by popular demand, Joe Newman is here for his third visit to The Parenting Reframe Podcast. Joe Newman was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and has made it his life’s mission to help parents figure out how to “raise lions,” kids who want to do it themselves. His book, Raising Lions, is one of my favorites and a resource I recommend constantly. In this episode, we discuss the biggest issues we are seeing while working with families today. This includes longer discussion about tantrums, and why we don’t completely agree on what to do when your child is having a tantrum.  Here’s what we talk about with Joe: Why play deprivation is a problem today and why kids need more time to play independently.Kids need to experience struggle in social situations to create change and learn how to better manage their experience on their own. Providing all the answers for kids takes away an “I do it” moment and creates kids who identify as incapable and want things done for them. The nature of attachment between parent and child changes over time and the parent has to allow it to happen in an open and supportive way. How to reframe the negative perception of tantrums and child’s behavior.Why Joe and I disagree about whether or not to hold your child during a tantrum.Using a break as a self regulation tool to help kids get through a difficult moment and become more resilient. Allowing kids to experience deprivation and challenges on their own without judgment creates more independent, resilient, and happy individuals. Kids act as scientists to figure out their way around a situation so it’s incredibly important to hold your boundaries. Practicing holding boundaries at home will make doing it in public easier and reduce your feelings of anxiety in the situation.  Resources:Joe Newman’s website to set up a consultation or discovery call: https://www.raisinglions.com/Joe Newman on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinglions/Joe Newman on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@raisinglions1Raising Lions by Joe Newman: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Lions-Joe-Newman/dp/1453639683/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1686055923&sr=1-1Raising Lions with Joe Newman podcast episode:  https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/raising-lions-with-joe-newmanA Raising Lions Q+A with Joe Newman podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/a-raising-lions-qa-with-joe-newmanFor more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, I have the absolute pleasure of talking with Neha Ruch, the founder of Mother Untitled, the leading platform for ambitious women leaning into family life. A thought leader, writer and speaker on parenting, women, work and identity, Neha established Mother Untitled in 2017 after working for a decade in digital and brand strategy and earning an MBA from Stanford. Her new book, The Power Pause, examines how to take a career pause after having kids and is available now. We discuss how taking a pause in many stages of life has incredible benefits and the different ways it can look for moms. Here’s what we talk about with Neha: How the question of “What do you do?” has become intertwined in the fabric of who we are as individuals. Ways to change the language surrounding each chapter of your life to a more expansive view.A career pause makes room to chart out other ways you want to grow personally.How “The Mommy Wars” started and the way the narrative has shifted and become more fluid over time. The ways the COVID pandemic caused an examination of work and family balance.Tools to consider for a career pause when there are concerns about finances, work/life balance, and household contributions.Shifting the view of taking a step down from a career to gaining a collection of experiences. Resources:The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Pause-Career-Kids-Stronger/dp/0593716183Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte: https://www.brigidschulte.com/overwhelmedEllse Loehnen podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-40-on-our-best-behavior-with-elise-loehnen/For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Happy 2025! The past year has been really transformative for me personally and professionally and I’m excited for what this new year might bring. I want to thank all of you who take the time to listen to my podcast, read my Substack, or even watch a video clip on TikTok. It’s really affirming to know I’m reaching all of you in some way. A few updates for 2025 that I’m excited to share with you:New model for one-on-one coaching: I’m moving to a 12-week model, where you get 12 weekly calls with me. You’ll have me create scripts and plans to use in your home and answer questions as they arise. Only 1 spot is available for January!Group coaching is returning in February! This more affordable option offers the added benefit of gaining support from others in your situation.I’m launching a membership! I’ve been working on a membership and I want to make it as interactive as possible. It will be a hybrid of courses and live video calls. Stay tuned for more information! The Three Pillars to Connected ParentingWhen we adopt a martyr parent mindframe, it doesn’t benefit your children in the way you think it does.We pride ourselves on being really busy, but when we burn out, what happens to your family? A Process to Help Interparent YourselfParenting is a process full of wisdom and transformation that we can apply to moments in our adult lives like loss and growth. Using PARR to help us understand what our triggers are and cause us to have big reactions towards our kids. There’s always something we can change instead of resigning to being too tired or too busy while having a reactionary response. The five pillars of parenting yourself: master pausing, practice stillness, honoring simplicity, honoring change, trusting your intuition.Create an Environment Conducive to ConnectionShowing our kids we are the ones in control of our lives and priorities. There are moments when we can create meaningful connections with our kids but we need to be present and intentional about it. It’s healthy for kids to spend time alone, and being mindful of the time we spend with them makes it more impactful. Honoring Your Ability to Process Complex EmotionsIt’s likely many of us learned to suppress or bypass complex emotions due to our upbringing. Our discomfort when our own kids are having a complex emotion is something very foreign to us so we need to learn how to sit with it instead of trying to change or cover it up. In moments of dysregulation you can say “I am safe and so are they.” Resources: Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching is right for you: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfThe Three Pillars to Connected Parenting article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/the-3-pillars-to-connected-parenting?r=dan8yThe Busyness Trap article: https://albiona.substack.com/p/spotting-the-busyness-trapSelf Regulation Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parentsPARR Workshop Free Download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-downloadBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today's solo minisode I’m talking all about strong-willed kids. I’ve been talking a lot about this in my emails and on my social media lately because I know it’s a topic that many parents struggle with. Strong-willed kids are the ones that I like to call fair fighters - they’re always keeping score and want to make sure everything is right in their world. But this can cause them to easily spiral out of control the second things don’t go their way. I want to share three key points that come up over and over again in one-on-one and group coaching in regards to strong willed kids.If this episode resonates with you, consider signing up for my group coaching program all about raising strong willed kids and emotional regulation for kids and parents starting November 21! The link to register is in the Resources. Does Your Kid Value Approval or Power? We set up an expectation and kids usually comply.Strong-willed kids don’t seek or value approval from authority or parents. It’s not important enough for them.Instead they value power but they don’t have the capacity to hold all of it. They try to find out how much power they can have until they start to lose control.Strong-willed kids will then look for an anchor to keep them in a safe state when they start to lose control.Explanations Don’t Work We try to give kids the tools and the choices to understand why things are happening. Explanations don’t deter a strong-willed kid from their actions.An explanation gives information but they are not lacking information. It may be a bigger issue of impulse control, tolerating frustration, sensory overload, or something else.If there is a lack of information, the next time they face something similar the outcome will be different. Get to the root of what skills they need to develop to reduce the behavior you don’t want to see. Self Regulate YourselfIt’s incredibly triggering for parents when a strong-willed kid is emotionally out of control. It’s important for the parent to self regulate themselves when the child is unable to.They are looking for someone to be calm in the storm.We have to create a really consistent, predictable structure through boundaries. This structuring takes time and will take a while to set the expectations and make changes where needed. Teaching them how to regulate their emotions is an important step to help your child foster their inner free spirit and communicate their needs and emotions.Resources: Sign up for my Group Coaching Program starting November 21: stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/group-coaching-raising-strong-willed-kids-51n42Joe Newman podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-49-a-raising-lions-q-a-with-joe-newman/ Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I’m back with another solo episode and I’m giving you a recap of what I discussed in my latest workshop, Parenting on the Same Page. Many people struggle with conflict between their partners inside their homes on a day-to-day basis regarding parenting decisions. While they love and respect each other at the core, the heightened moments of emotion and stress can cause friction between two parents. I’m going to share with you the three tools you can implement today to help get back to parenting as a team.All Feelings are Welcome. All Behaviors are NotWhat is the emotion or feeling your child is experiencing? What is the behavior you don’t want to see? What is the behavior you do want to see?As you are calm and steady as the parent, you set clear boundaries for behavioral expectations.You need a game plan to address these situations and avoid reacting in an escalated way toward your child and each other. How can you validate the feeling your child is experiencing while still holding your boundary? How can you lean on each other in these stressful moments to help each other out?When you parent consistently on the same team, you will see a reduction of your child’s challenging behaviors.Be Reflective of the Language You Use with Each OtherConnect, don’t correct.Connective language is focused on yourself, your emotions, and your feelings, and finding a way to connect on a similar level with your partner.Have these discussions in moments of calm so you can both approach the conversation from a regulated place.A Dysregulated Adult Cannot Help a Dysregulated ChildIf your immediate reaction is to become dysregulated when your child behaves a certain way, it will not help the situation. You need to work through what the triggers are that cause you to feel dysregulated in stressful moments. Using breathing and physical redirection can help you to calm down and pause. Use PARR to become a more responsive parent.Resources: - I have three one-on-one coaching spots left for 2024! If you sign up for coaching with me, I’m offering a free, 60 minute bonus session called “Optimizing Your Schedule” that helps you create a schedule that works for you and find your balance.- Dr. Aliza Pressman, The 5 Principles of Parenting: https://draliza.com/ - Free Self Regulation Workshop download: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-download-emotional-regulation-for-parents Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qfBe sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode I have a conversation with my friend, Dr. Rebekah Diamond. She is a pediatrician and the author of two books: Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat and Parent Like a Pediatrician. Dr. Diamond bridges the worlds of being a pediatrician with being a parent. She adds a lot of great parental insight into many aspects of parenting from the rigid research to the wild west of the internet.  Here’s what we talk about with Dr. Diamond: Why the toddler phase is so challenging for so many parents on a daily basis in relation to the advice being given.Parenting advice can be helpful but you can take the pieces that feel good for your own parenting and leave the rest. Parental efficacy, or parental confidence, will directly translate to positive parenting for your child. Different parenting styles and how parents can create their own parenting philosophy to tune into what you and your child need.The reasons why toddlers have tantrums and how to navigate these emotional episodes using different strategies.Setting realistic and developmentally appropriate boundaries and consequences for toddlers. Balancing rewards and external motivators to help toddlers learn about life skills.The importance of a consistent bedtime routine with toddlers and how to implement it in your home.Viewing parenting issues from the stance from whether or not there is an actual problem and determining if you need to take action.Why separation anxiety is developmentally normal in kids and how parents can work through their emotions related to it. Resources:You can find Dr. Diamond on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentlikeapediatrician/?hl=enParent Like a Pediatrician: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636Eat, Sleep, Tantrum, Repeat: https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Like-Pediatrician-Facts-None/dp/0806541636Dr. Shefali podcast episode: https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-54-conscious-parenting-with-dr-shefali/ For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, I want to talk to everyone about the ideas of stress and feeling like there’s never enough time. Part of what prompted this topic is the US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, just issued an advisory on parents’ mental health and well-being, citing that many parents feel overwhelmed to the point of not being able to function throughout the day. While parenting can be stressful, there are things we can do to reduce those feelings and get back to feeling more balanced. I want to walk through my five self parenting tenets to get back to your emotional well being and find your inner peace whether you’re a parent who feels overwhelmed or you’re someone who feels like the day gets away from you and you could use some extra time.Mastering the PauseWhere are the moments of reactivity in your life?The more you pause, the less reactive you become and you can reflect on your fears surrounding your child’s behaviors.When you slow down, your child will also be able to slow down. Overreacting in a moment usually escalates the situation rather than calming it down or stopping it.Pausing helps you stay calm and steady in a stressful moment. Practicing Stillness Stillness does not mean sitting in meditation for a long time.It could be one minute of deep breathing, taking a few minutes to write in a journal, or taking a walk outside.When we practice stillness we are releasing our emotions and thoughts and giving it a space to go. Honoring SimplicityTry reframing your perspective to include gratitude when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Parenting is full of transient phases - what moment of joy are you missing out on by sitting in stress.How can you shift your schedule or routines to honor your needs rather than add to the irritation?Embrace Change Think about where you can embrace change to help take the pressure off of yourself. There can be a lot of fear around change, but working through that fear can have wonderful outcomes. Trusting Your Intuition The moment you’re in will get better. Everything will always work out the way it’s supposed to work out.Release the feelings of doubt and trust what your intuition is saying. Resources: FREE Workshop - Parenting YOURSELF: A personal process to Inner PeaceWednesday, September 25, 2024 at 12pm ESThttps://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-workshop-parenting-yourself  Surgeon General’s Advisory on Parental Stress: https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2024/08/28/us-surgeon-general-issues-advisory-mental-health-well-being-parents.html Sign up for a FREE 20 minute discovery call: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/  I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/ Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

For the topic of this solo episode I polled my audience to see what you wanted to hear about and the answer was unanimous: how to make morning routines easier. The hustle and bustle of back to school season can cause a lot of stress for kids and parents alike. New routines and schedules can be challenging to adapt to but making some small changes can help your family’s morning routines run smoothly right from the start. I have some unconventional tools that I use in my parent coaching to help make your morning and evening routines run more smoothly that I’m excited to share with you. When our kids end up making us late: Being late can be very triggering for parents.When our kids can perceive we are stressed, they end up more stressed as well. Practice being late while keeping yourself calm.Say to yourself, “I am safe if I am late today.”When you let go of the control and the power struggle to get out the door, things become easier for both you and your kids. Put the autonomy back on your child: This is for kids who waste time doing other things instead of progressing through the morning routine. The idea was created by Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions.Using your timer or stopwatch, allot a specific number of minutes to a morning task. Any time that your child goes over that allotment is totaled up and taken away at the end of the day from their free time.Always present yourself as “team kid,” not as punitive or that this is a punishment. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow about cause and effect.The child’s behavior changes on the second or third day because they want their free time to be theirs. Find out what things you can let go: Think about all the things that go wrong in the morning from start to finish and decide where you can let go and give them more autonomy. When we give strong willed kids some independence, they enjoy the feeling that they matter.Giving them a specific task and asking them for help is a great way for them to feel important and get them invested in what you need them to do. Let go of things that cause struggles like clothing or breakfast choices. Give yourself enough time: Even if your morning routine is taking longer than normal, having extra time will allow you to feel more calm. You can always shift the time you allot as routines get easier and more fluid throughout the year. My upcoming offerings: Make sure you are signed up for my email list for a free workshop in September all about The Time Conundrum - the feeling we don’t have enough time. We will talk about ruminating on anxious thoughts and the stress of parenting to reframe the way we think about time. My email list will be the first to know about this workshop! I have opened up spots for my self-parenting program where you’ll get to work one-on-one with me to discover what is in your way to get to where you want to be the most. I give you a step by step plan to know exactly what to do when you start to feel lost, confused, or need a reframe. Three spots are available in September. https://theparentingreframe.com/application/I’m still doing child-centered parent coaching and have two spots available in September. If you have trouble with tantrums, behavior issues, or other parenting challenges, reach out! https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf Resources: Joe Newman - Raising Lions: https://www.raisinglions.com/about-joeI hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s episode I get to talk to my dear friend Lauryn Laszczak, someone I consider a soul sister and an incredible woman that has taught me so much. Lauryn (Laz-check) is a Female Founder and Somatic Business Coach for Women. It is her passion to help conscious leaders redefine what “success” looks and feels like by living a slow and intentional life. She's spent the past 14 years building businesses and guiding women into a deeper exploration of themselves and the impact they’re capable of having through their business and slow living. Lauryn lives a slow, intentional, and meaningful life in Metro Detroit, Michigan with her high school sweetheart turned husband, three children and one angel son.Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss and grief as Lauryn describes her journey through losing her son and learning to heal. Here’s what we talk about with Lauryn: The duality of loving your children on Earth while allowing the space and grace to honor and grieve a child that has been lost. How grief and joy can coexist in the same place at the same time and how the losses form who we are as individuals.Feelings of shame and guilt many women feel throughout their lives and the ways you can learn to move past those feelings.Giving yourself permission to be still and slow down to cultivate intentionality in your life.How small mindset shifts and moments of consistent changes can help us to find more love, fun, and freedom in our lives.Being still and slowing down can look different for everyone and might include movement, using your voice, or being in certain spaces to enter a place of calm.How slow living forces us to protect our energy and allows our children to match the state we are in.Modeling and communicating boundaries and needs to your children reinforces caring for yourself as well as teaching them important life lessons.Resources:You can find Lauryn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iam_laurynAnd at her website: www.laurynlaszczak.comFor more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.comAnd be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.