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The entire Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy, read by the author. "A masterpiece of American humor." Los Angeles Times
peterleroy.substack.com
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I’ve posted episodes in the serial republication of The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy daily for nearly three years. I need a break. I’m pausing the serial republication for a while. However, I will continue to develop the videos in Well, What Now? and post them here on Substack. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
THE IDEA that I reported on the preceding page came to me not on that sunny afternoon in Babbington but on a nasty night in Newark, Delaware, a night when rain was falling in sheets and a blustery wind made umbrellas useless. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
Clasping, but not actually wringing, my hands, I said, “I’ve started wondering whether my mother — ” “What?” Patti asked after I had allowed a moment to pass in silence. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
I TOLD MYSELF that if I couldn’t get what I wanted from Patti, I would have to learn to be content with what she was willing to give me, which was friendship. . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
NATURE had assigned Patti a sexy part, and she played it. . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
Chapter 5The Cynical DetectiveIF I STILL HAD A LOT TO LEARN, and I did, I felt that I’d come to the right place. In Dudley’s own house I ought to be able to find out what I wanted to know, and Eliza had given me permission to poke and pry. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
Chapter 4A Lot to LearnAS SOON AS ELIZA HAD LEFT for Europe, I visited the house on my own. I told my parents that, as a diligent lad who took his duties seriously and meant to go about them in an organized way, I intended to get right down to work . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
“I’d like you to take care of this house for a while,” she said. I felt a great disappointment, as you might expect. Arrivederci, Roma. So long to Germany. Farewell to France. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATER, about a month after Dudley’s death, his wife, Eliza, telephoned me and said that she would like to see me. She had, she said, a proposal that she would like me to consider. A proposal? A proposition? I was on my bicycle in a minute. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
ANY FATHER WOULD DO, any one but the one I supposedly had. I chose Dudley Beaker; by that I mean that . . . I chose to believe that my mother had chosen Dudley Beaker. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
BASTARDY has been good to me. I don’t actually know that I am a b*****d, but I’ve tried legitimacy and I’ve tried bastardy, and, on the whole, bastardy has been more rewarding. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
MANY YEARS LATER, I had attained some small success. . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
AFTER THE CANDY-MAKING FAILURE, my mother tried nothing else; she didn’t even talk about trying anything else. She had been defeated. She was finished. One day when I came home from school, she was sitting at the dining room table, looking straight ahead, weeping. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
MY FATHER WOULD BE HOME in two or three hours. I think that I felt the pressure of that deadline more than my mother did, . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
TRY SHE DID. I came home from school one afternoon to find the kitchen glazed with sugar. Threads of crystallized sugar crackled when I pushed the back door open, and they webbed the room, running along the walls, across the countertops and the stove and the sink, across the faces of the white metal cabinets. Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
WHEN PEOPLE ASK what my mother was like, I tell them the story of her lunch launch, because in that story so many of her best attributes show to good advantage — particularly her enthusiasm . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
I know what temptations the devil has to offer, one of the greatest of which consists in putting it into a man’s head that he can write a book and have it printed and thereby achieve as much fame as he does money . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
IN THE MORNING, BEFORE DAWN, Eric slipped out of the hotel as silently as a shadow, made his way to the dock in the dark, patted the flank of the Chris-Craft triple-cockpit barrel-back mahagony runabout, and drifted across the bay . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
IN BED, Albertine and I squirreled under the covers, and she took my hand. “Did you always intend to have her kill herself?” she asked. “No,” I said, “not at all. When I started, I just wanted to . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
BALDY’S SHOW that night was unremarkable until the end, when he announced that it was time to look into the Catalog of Human Misery. . . . Get full access to The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy at peterleroy.substack.com/subscribe
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