The Pigeon Decision

PBS should hire me to do a cool show for kids

The oral/aural history of Nirvana drummer, Dave Hole. Also, polyamory: what is it?

Like the title says this took two weeks to make. This is my magnum opus. Uploads are gonna be pretty erratic/sporadic for the coming weeks or months or years. Every week can't be a burst of sudden genius like this one.

I make my own MONTERO after the Norm Macdonald news. Actually that's a lie I just got drunk and rambled for the first thirty minutes, revisited the project after a few days, and did a cold closing. 

Who would've thought that talking with no direction into a microphone for more than five minutes would produce something bad? Certainly not me. 

Everyone was gearing up for the next phase of their lives this week, so here's the laziest episode yet. Kinda literally. You'll see what I mean. This is for my entertainment now. Unlucky number 13 if you fuck with that.

World renowned and mentally ill BIPOC artist Wings of Sadism sits down with me to talk about whatever the fuck we ended up talking about. Ben performs a wonderful introduction to the interview in a style reminiscent of professional talk radio, the bane of my existence. Who fucking cares at this point. I ruin it by trying to pad out the run time by doing a solo cold open where I bitch about Sinister 2 anyway. Skip like six minutes in if it becomes unbearable. This goddamn keyboard is pissing me off so much trying to type on it. There's been so much going on lately sorry for all of the bullshit. Well actually not sorry, but you get the idea. Just stream his shit and follow us if you want to.

Marvel stole the What If idea from us after listening to this episode. Ben brought a Yeti instead of being normal so maybe there's echo but also I put a noise gate on his track so maybe not. It's-a gonna maybe sound-a kinda bad, eh? Sorry that was really racist against Italians. I know they've had a pretty hard week. We both have watched all of The Olympics. Honest. This is all purely on topic. There's 100% no way that we diverge at all from the incredibly interesting topic of the olympics. Song at the end is MF SIMPSON so go listen to it. It fuckin slaps.

You've heard of friendship simulator? Well check this shit out, motherfucker. Ben serenades us with sexy guitar riffs that would make Carlos Santana kill himself, and I sometimes back him up with a $10 harmonica from Cracker Barrel. I don't know how to play the harmonica. Bella opens up more about childhood trauma or something.  I genuinely think the show might be starting to kind of come together here, I say with a rare lack of sarcasm. Ten episodes. I mean that's pretty big, right? Two digits? Two magical digits. If we ever hit three we'll be ready for it to go into our asses.  So sit back, traveler. Maybe learn a thing or two this time. If you want to feel the warmth of the fire too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsOUv9EzKsg Follow and watch and listen to everyone in the normal places.

Check out our hyper detailed and accurate and super smart takedown of the current neoliberal hellscape that we're living in. No stone goes undistributed to the masses in this one. We fuck with Elon and Grimes, Ted Cruz, Matt Walsh, Bernie Sanders, Batman and Bane and Jokah, and others. Your IQ will quadruple over the course of the episode.  We also try our hands at various impressions. Yikes but also sometimes not yikes. OH RIGHT and I also say that Grimes is from the UK but she’s actually from Canada. My bad. Hopefully these new three person shows will become the norm. It's so much easier to edit. Now that I say that though next week is going to be something ridiculous like eight people. I've manifested something awful.  The plugs:  Twitter: https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon  Bella's streams: https://www.twitch.tv/letsplaygamesbella  I've heard that five star reviews help the algorithm, but I bet that three star reviews with a bunch of mindless insults about the hosts also help. Go for it.

It's just Bella and I on the show so we try and fill an hour. It's ok I guess. Next week I promise we'll be back to suckin and fuckin like normal. I won't sugarcoat it: this one blows some ass. I left in all of the long and awkward pauses to really accentuate the energy of the night. I had to edit out myself saying "you know what I mean?" so much in this goddamn episode, and I still say it a lot even with all of the edits. Be prepared for that, because that's my crutch phrase whenever I feel like I'm backed into a corner, I guess. There's virtually zero editing in this one besides that. On the bright side this episode is gonna be sweet for the official lore of the show. Here's links to all of the music I play throughout this bitch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0Rl8e89AlY Sense of Wonder https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBmjvDKIWkI Don't Think Feel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx0ZLix0FFM Slayers intro music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmIR4h6TafA Riley Reid Rap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lItJronkSA&t=95s Isabelle speaking for ten hours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHbvLOtwaOs&t=78s Most annoying noise ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm-LyRgTYe0&t=39s ANNOYING SIREN!!! I bet you can't last 3 minutes!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlHTsCx913c I Remember Everyone's links and plugs are all the same. Don't expect me to paste all that shit in every episode. Go back and find it yourself, lazy bastard. Lastly, I don't actually endorse white women saying the n word even if they fuck a lot of black dudes. Enjoy the show!

Presenting the most American episode we've ever done. Stolen valor? Yep. Applebee's? Yep. Redneck mothers? Yep. Douchebags at restaurants Mhm yes. Shitty, over-embellished books about wartime? You bet your sweet, honky-tonk ass there is! Ben and Bella bring the heat this time, and I'm happily along for the ride. Listen as we regale you with anecdotes about Cracker Barrel, hosting gigs, and manga adaptations of famous literature. I also have a Japanese pocket book with me on this episode, so when I start saying stuff in the language it's because I'm actually reading it, ok? I'm not just making a bunch of inflections and vowel sounds to try and pass it off as Japanese.  * In no way do we condone the actions of the newly emerged terrorist cell Boko Harambe * Oh and my most sincere apologies to Lyric for last week. I learned on this episode that "pontificate" normally is used in a negative context, and last week I totally told you (Lyric) that you sounded like you wanted to pontificate when I interrupted you. My b. Ben has new music coming in October (maybe) Bella streams on Mondays go watch it The show has a Twitter but so do most of us as well Links to audio used: Soviet advertising  Up Against the Wall Redneck

A roughly 14 minute candid bonus installment of a few of us trying to wake Bella up after she passed the fuck out in her computer chair while playing Minecraft on a Discord call. You can't really even call this edited because I didn't do any editing to it. This is the raw shit -- the really unchained and untamed wild side stuff.  Pregnant people might lose their shit with this one.

Lyric makes his first appearance since the first episode, and offers a unique perspective on the scams in everyday life that we just let happen. This is also an episode about all kinds of scams too, hence the obnoxious title. Bella leads us in with an invigorating tale of her recent run-in with a text message scam. Does anyone even read these descriptions? Like can I just put whatever the fuck I want here? ET fingering someone with his lightbulb finger. There I did it. Mark is also back. Unfortunately he lost all of his Grindr pics, so you're going to have to settle for "face value" images if you decide to hit him up this time around. Ironic given the subject, I'd say. Antics aside, there's more chewing on the mic this episode. Chewing what, you ask? A lady never tells. We (myself included) plug so much fucking youtube content that isn't ours this episode. Search them if you're interested. We don't even have a youtube. Bella does though: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC281vyRHFZylcwTafnvHN5w She also streams twitch.tv/letsplaygamesbella Lyric streams too but he didn't plug it twitch.tv/lilfathertime Follow the show's Twitter https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon And now the Instagram too https://www.instagram.com/pigeondecision/ Lastly, and I'm dead serious about this, send in a goddamn voice message. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It's a mini episode week because a lot of us weren't really FEELIN IT this time around. We have our various reasons, so fuck you haha. Also this shit is free so it's not like you're losing money or whatever.  Anyway this episode is a super special interview with America's most darling Soundcloud personality: Quiz Enema. He's here to talk about his creative process, morals, inspirations, goals, and anything else that comes up. You can listen to him on Soundcloud. Just search for "Quiz Enema" and it'll be the only thing that pops up. And also again -- I don't remember if we were drinking or not. I mean I certainly was, but I can't recall if anyone else was indulging. That's my excuse for sounding like a mouth-breathing moron in this one. Follow the show https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon Mark is still on Grindr Bella still streams Ben probably still makes music --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This one was in-person and was kinda hot and heavy at times. We had like three different computers recording stuff because there were two USB mics and two XLR mics, and for the XLRs we had this really bitchin four-input interface. It's cool I swear. This episode was a test of in-person dynamic riff making, as well as a test of my patience. Also the eating on the mic is funny as shit so it got left in. If you don't like it, lick my balls like we lick the microphones. Follow the show https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon Watch Bella's stream https://www.twitch.tv/letsplaygamesbella Listen to Ben's music I guess Hit Mark up on Grindr  Theme music written and composed by Sam Clips in interludes:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxweArpQf0U https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=100kJbCE-bc and clips from "Pardon my Blooper!" volumes 3 and 4 by Kermit Schafer

Jesus fucking Christ what a time to be alive. This is probably the most scuffed and glitchy piece of audio media that you will ever listen to. But it's also really funny how many things go wrong, so one could maybe call this performance art. Let this be a lesson. There's a lot of beeping in this one. Follow the show https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon Watch Bella on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/letsplaygamesbella Leave us a voice message https://anchor.fm/pigeondecision Opening theme written and composed by Sam End music is "Up in My Butt" by Fiscal Cyst --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pigeondecision/message

Mark has sex with a ghost in his dorm while watching Survivor, Romy educates us on vaping and feet stuff, Ben will make you cringe so hard that you literally die, and Bella's dead great uncle causes strokes for the living. No but seriously ghost/paranormal episode. Follow our Twitter https://twitter.com/DecisionPigeon Watch Bella at twitch.tv/letsplaygamesbella Listen to Ben on Spotify at Cole Michaels Hit Mark up on Grindr Leave us a voice message at https://anchor.fm/pigeondecision Theme music composed and produced by Sam. End music composed and produced by Amun. **Editor here. Sorry I fucked up because somebody decided to not censor a name of a person who is unrelated to the show. Anyway, hopefully all the beeps are in now.** --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

In the premiere installment of The Pigeon Decision we examine and analyze Ben's Alison Brie-centric dream involving the cure to racism, Hiroshima, and whether it actually means anything, as well as bring our own sleep facts to the table for discussion. Theme music produced and composed by Sam. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app