The Prancing Pony Podcast

Tolkien gives us 3400 years of Númenórean history in just a few pages; Alan and Don make those few pages *feel* like a 3400-year long episode. Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as we walk through the line of Kings and Queens of Númenor in our second episode on Appendix A I (i) on Númenor. We wonder what would have happened if Silmariën had become the first Ruling Queen, talk about agnatic primogeniture again, and watch as Kings of Númenor come up with ‘very bad ideas’™. Also, Sara joins Alan to chat with the translator of the Welsh edition of The Hobbit, Tar-Atanamir says ‘hold my beer’, and Alan gives some very depressing advice about mortality. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shall I describe it to you, or would you like Alan and Don to find you a map? Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien introduces us to his island paradise in the what-it-says-on-the-tin chapter, A Description of the Island of Númenor, from Unfinished Tales! We have fun with Quenya pronunciations, decide that it’s best not to build the Meneltarma Visitor Center after all, and speculate that Eldalondë the Green smelled like a smoothie shop. Also, we stumble upon a great name for a rock band, make a joke about the… larch, and wisely choose not to laugh at dancing bears. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tolkien regrets the ‘truncated and compressed form’ of the Appendices to The Lord of the Rings, while Alan and Don regret the truncated and compressed form of this episode! Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts guy as Tolkien gives us the fastest version of The Silmarillion ever in our first episode on the Annals of the Kings and Rulers. We beat the Fëanor piñata, visit the Hotel Thangorodrim and watch the Edain follow the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning to reach their new land. Also starring: grim grinning door handles and the avoided-for-that-cometh-anyway. Get 15% off your next gift at UNCOMMONGOODS.COM/PONY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy as we answer listener questions in our 28th Questions After Nightfall episode! From the negative buoyancy of hobbits to how long the wait is for a new Elf body, from Elves in HDR to Silmariën and the laws of agnatic primogeniture (which still confuse Don), our listeners pose challenging and unexpected questions. Alan blows Don’s mind yet again, while Don reveals his Middle-earth power rankings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sam answers all of Elanor’s questions, as Alan tries to dodge most of Don’s questions. Join The Man of the West and the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we look at what was almost Tolkien’s post-credit bonus scene. Samwise gets writer’s block, Elanor longs for the old days, and Rose remembers a moment of unexplained joy. We discuss whether Merry was Sam’s ghost-writer, agree that one must stop somewhere, and look for our letter from the King. Also, Don leans into the mediocrity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, we’re back. Join The Man of the West and Don Marshall, the Obscure Lord of the Rings Facts Guy, as we begin Season 9 of The Prancing Pony Podcast with a deep dive into the first version of the Epilogue to The Lord of the Rings. We chat about elanor the flower and Elanor the young hobbit-lass, wonder when a prophecy isn’t a prophecy, and get a few answers about Legolas, Gimli, and the rest. Also, we discover Ents are Alan's kinda people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bilbo wakes up from his nap just in time to pass the Old Took; Alan and Shawn wake up from our nap just in time to pass the two-hour mark. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as Sam finally figures out where Frodo is going in the last of our three episodes on The Grey Havens - and the final episode of our six-season journey through The Lord of the Rings. Gildor makes an appearance; Frodo makes a sacrifice; Sam makes the long journey home in silence (where the nights are gettin’ strange since he’s gone). We fanboy over Círdan, discover there was room for Shadowfax, and talk about a most Anglo-Saxon ending. Also, Bilbo and Frodo have words for Celebrimbor.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rosie is the girl that keeps Sam up at night, so they get married; we are the podcast hosts that keep you up at night - all we ask from you is to subscribe. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as anniversaries become dark days for Frodo in the second of our three episodes on The Grey Havens. Frodo suggests Sam and Rosie move in to Bag End with him; Merry and Pippin cut a great dash in the Shire; Sam receives a large book and a mandate to complete it. We suggest a new small business opportunity for Merry and Pippin, wonder precisely how Widow Rumble is looking after the Gaffer, and speculate about Arwen’s QR code. Also: no, you shouldn’t name your child Frodito, no matter what Shawn suggests. From our intro, here is the link to the 2009 fan film The Hunt for Gollum, directed by our guest Chris Bouchard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H09xnhlCQU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spring surpassed Sam’s wildest hopes; Alan and Shawn are content just avoiding disappointment. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as the hobbits let the good times roll while rebuilding the Shire in the first of three episodes on The Grey Havens. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins finds redemption and popularity; the Gaffer shouts random proverbs as he moves into his new digs; and it turns out that every grain is sacred, every grain is good. We speculate about Sandyman’s future, feel sorry for the kids of Shire Reckoning 1419, and unanimously declare Rosie Cotton the Shire MVP. Also, Alan buys a copy of Fredegar Bolger’s new book, The Lockholes Diet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Merry tells Sandyman that he is “dirty and insolent”, and the obvious jokes about your podcast hosts write themselves. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark for one of the saddest hours in our heroes’ lives in the last of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Sam’s heart is broken by the devastation in his hometown, the hobbits are met by a surprise visitor (there’s magic in his eyes), and Wormtongue has finally had enough. We weep with Sam over the loss of the Party Tree, marvel at the mercy of Frodo towards Sharkey, and waffle on our opinion about Wormtongue’s possible diet. Also, Alan and Shawn concede to being monoglot clowns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gaffer hopes that Sam’s behaved hisself and given satisfaction; we hope we’ve done the same for you. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as the ruffians hack, burn, and ruin everything they touch in the fourth of five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Flashbacks tell us about Lotho’s “business dealings”, as well as his mother’s fierce umbrella-wielding skills (don’t want to hold her down); the Gaffer misses his taters; and Merry has the high ground, Anakin. We wonder if Lotho should have invested in skin care instead, discuss the importance of battlefield intelligence, and lobby for a promotion for Merry. Also, we wonder what’s so bad about biscuits. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The voice is right, and your face is no worse than it was, Sam. Also true for Alan and Shawn. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as our hobbit heroes are just what the Shire needs in the third of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Sam gets a bit tongue-tied; Farmer Exposition, uh Cotton, acts as bait; and the big ruffian makes a fatal mistake. We watch Sam adore Rosie (it’s not the ribbons in her hair), conclude that the ruffians haven’t read the Prologue, and learn how the Gaffer has been getting along. Also, we have no truck with Lotho. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is rather a comic cavalcade that hosts this episode, but at least we’re not under arrest. Yet. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as Frodo and friends drive the two-feather Shirriff to exhaustion in the second of our five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. The hobbits don’t let nothin’ get in the way as they deliver bad news to a ruffian, threaten to skewer him, and run him out of town. We discuss Frodo’s apparent pacifism, admire Tolkien’s love for trees, and meet the new boss: same as the old boss. Also, our resident cock-a-whoop swaggers it in a Philology Faire you never knew you needed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s time for yet another party of special magnificence as The Prancing Pony Podcast releases its third highlight episode: it’s almost time for our vinyl box set and reunion tour. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they play listener-selected moments from the last eleventy-one episodes! From our visit to the butt store to the Witch-king’s visit to Minas Tirith, we review the funniest clips and the most dramatic readings. Despite the episode title, we still know nothing about cricket. Also, Darth Gollum finds your lack of fish disturbing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No admittance between sundown and sunrise; except for Shawn, he can come and go as he pleases. Join The Man of the West as he welcomes back The Lord of the Mark as Frodo and friends return to a much-changed Shire in the first of five episodes on The Scouring of the Shire. Merry calls out a fellow Bucklander, Sam recognizes an old friend, and the hobbits are taken downtown for mug shots. We watch as Bill Ferny leaves the scene without a trace, complain about high taxes, and redraw Tolkien’s map of the Shire. Also, Shawn apparently has a cop story to tell us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom talks in trochaic tetrameter today, triggering a trend. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South in his last episode (this season) as we answer listener questions in our 27th Questions After Nightfall! From popular misconceptions about Tolkien to keeping Gandalf on-task, from the nature of hope to the nature of Gothmog, our listeners pose questions — often in limerick form! Alan looks for any excuse to read Quenya, and we decide Norman Fell would have made a good Gildor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dark shapes and dreadful things are terrifying Barliman; James and Alan will try not to make it any worse. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as the hobbits conclude their visit to Bree in the final episode on Homeward Bound. Barliman is deeply confused about this whole king thing, the hobbits wonder exactly what Barliman means by “funny goings on”, and Gandalf makes it clear the Shire isn’t his circus and the hobbits aren’t his monkeys. We discuss land-use plans near Bree, and wonder if we should invest in real estate nearby. Also, The Lord of the Mark joins for a Philology Faire — Italy called and wants to talk to him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not all wounds can be healed, and not all episode descriptions can be clever. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we accompany Gandalf and the hobbits on their journey home from Rivendell in the first of our two episodes on Homeward Bound. Frodo provides an accounting of his wounds, Nob’s grammar skills nearly cause a tragedy, and Barliman puts on a brave (albeit talkative) face. We wonder if Erestor gets migraines, discover James is descended from Bill Ferny, and decide to write Barliman and Ioreth fanfic. Also, never ask a valet to park your Bugatti. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wormtongue wishes he could leave Saruman; James is stuck with Alan for a few more episodes: make of that what you will. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we get to Rivendell in time for a party in the last of our three episodes on Many Partings. Saruman offers some parting words to the hobbits; the Keepers of the Rings offer total silence; Bilbo offers gifts he’s already given. We note that Gríma and Zathras have something in common, discuss the items for sale on Middle-earth eBay, and agree wholeheartedly with Bilbo about packing. Also, James does a pretty good Aussie accent. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Legolas is at a loss for words after visiting Aglarond with Gimli; Alan is at a loss for words after… well, never, really. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as The Fellowship of the Ring head out on their farewell tour in our second of three episodes on Many Partings. Treebeard speaks his mind about orcs, gives excuses about Saruman, and offers Merry & Pippin just one more drink. Our simple minds speculate about poetry, revisit Gimli’s rizz, and wonder if Thranduil and Treebeard went to the same school for jailers. Also, one man’s treasure is our confusion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices