The Reducer

Come and see us live! Tickets here - https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/the-football-weekly-podcast-live-in-dublin-tickets-53867451999 For our final episode of 2018, Greg Spring joins Seamas and Gavin to cover a few of the topics we didn't get to this year, and reflect on some of those we did. Featuring: Jose, Mark Goldbridge, Neymar, Sunderland, Martin Solveig, Roy Keane....and Lovejoy.

Very special edition this week - we dig into what makes the genius of Guardian football cartoonist David Squires with the man himself.  We cover loads - how David started off at Swindon Town, where he designed the club mascot, earned the fury of Steve McMahon, broke into the ground with his mates and how he spent some time with a porn-watching electrician.  We also talk Arsene Wenger, Gunnersaurus, the challenges of writing in an era in which the truth is stranger than cartoon fiction and in an era when England are really quite.....good.  David's got a new book out that we highly recommend - Goalless Draws Illuminating The Genius of Modern Football.  Plus -  Tortured Pun Corner, and Chris Waddle forces us into a dramatic change of theme tune. Get in touch - tweet @TheReducerPod or email @gcooney93. Find us individually - @squires_david, @shockproofbeats and @gcooney93. 

This week we look at the new documentary film on Barcelona's glory years under Pep Guardiola - Take The Ball, Pass The Ball.  It's really very, very good.  Listen in as we find an antidote to the real world's cynicism, wonder if Xavi is a committed ideologue or just a bit of an arse, and moan about Pep's music choices.  Plus there's Spurs, Banarama, PETA, Tim Lovejoy and urinal cakes. 

Amazon Prime are showing a brand new documentary about Steven Gerrard, entitled Make Us Dream.  It gets the Reducer treatment this week, as we ask - why the hell did Gerrard stay at Liverpool for so long? And how is he so....dull? Get in touch - @TheReducerPod, email gavinc@balls.ie

This week's show is about the film version of The Damned United, David Peace's famous book on Brian Clough's turbulent 44-day spell with Leeds United.  Michael Sheen is brilliant as Clough, but does the movie take too many liberties with the truth? Did it need to be so on the nose?  Plus - Republic of Ireland 0-0 Northern Ireland stain our souls; Evil Mr. Tayto; Smug Gavin Smugly Responds To An Abusive Email; Bad puns.  Get in touch - email gavinc@balls.ie; tweet @TheReducerPod

Following a dismaying week of revelations from Football Leaks and Der Spiegel, we have confirmation that football is a deeply sick, grotesque world. On that topic, this week we watched The Workers' Cup, an excellent documentary which shines a light on the appalling work conditions inflicted on migrant workers preparing Qatar for the 2022 World Cup.  If this is too serious for you, don't worry: Gavin also tells a joke.  To read the Der Spiegel allegations, click here - http://www.spiegel.de/international/topic/football_leaks/ To get in touch with The Reducer Podcast, email gavinc@balls.ie or tweet @TheReducerPod

A look back at some of our favourite bits from the last few months: Neymar's book, CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FATHER (00.20) Morrissey's novel, LIST OF THE LOST (5.40) Eamon Dunphy's punditry career (15.30) Jermaine Pennant's autobiography (21.20) FINAL SCORE with John Rain (27.00) Neil Warnock (41.00)

Our old friend Pennant turned up on Jeremy Kyle today, and we couldn't avoid giving it the Reducer treatment 

Here we are then, 34 episodes in and we have found the worst thing we have ever seen. It's DANGEROUS GAME, a farcically bad movie starring Callum Best.  It is the first draft of a rejected Midsomer Murders script in the Pro Evo universe casted entirely from ITV4.  Thanks to Danny Ryan for flagging this!  Get in touch: tweet - @TheReducerPod, @gcooney93 and @shockproofbeats; email - gavinc@balls.ie

On this week's show, a 2004/05 fly-on-the-wall documentary about former Sheffield United manager Neil Warnock.  Listen in to a (sweary) episode to learn more of the man, and why in these dark and turbulent times, he represents the best of British swearing.  Also: Seamas models socks, Jeff Winter models naked, Gavin backs the right side of the Kanye/Taylor Swift divide, and we meet Seamus O'Reilly....porn star.

In 2013, Neymar and his father wrote a baffling book called CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FATHER. 5 years on, it gets the Reducer treatment.

John Rain, host of the superb SMERSH podcast, joins Gavin and Seamas to run through FINAL SCORE starring Bautista, Pierce Brosnan and West Ham United.  If you're trying avoid spoilers for the film, then don't listen and don't watch Die Hard.  Get in touch - @TheReducerPod, @gcooney93, @shockproofbeats and @MrKenShabby.  Email gavinc@balls.ie

On this week's episode, we tackle the Fake News doing the rounds about Jermaine Pennant's book.  We read the book to disprove some of the yarns going around...and found the truth to be much, much worse.  Get in touch - @TheReducerPod and gavinc@balls.ie

After a papal-enforced week off, we've travelled back to our roots with a look at GOAL 3. (We've heard this was so bad we skipped GOAL 2).  Gavin and Seamas are joined by Greg Spring to wade through a movie assembled for roughly the price of a bag of cans.  Listen in for limp dialogue in a montessori set in space, a eulogy-cum-autopsy, a vampiric orgy entitled Frightened of Crosses and much more.  Get in touch - email gavinc@balls.ie or tweet @TheReducerPod, @gcooney93 and @shockproofbeats. 

On this week's show, we watch a documentary about the work of a bearded ideologue funded by the Middle East - it's All or Nothing: Manchester City! How much access does it actually offer?  Do we learn anything about the players? Is Guardiola really a wild egotist? Can we really enjoy it given its provenance?  Why does Sergio Aguero's son love Jamie Vardy?  All of these questions are answered,and more.  Get in touch - @TheReducerPod or email gavinc@balls.ie

25 years after it debuted, we revisit the legendary Fantasy Football with David Baddiel and Frank Skinner.  We remember some of its best moments, relive some of its biggest cringe (Brigitte Nielsen; Prince Naseem) and discuss its problems.  With some added pooey Nutella jars and a real-life Steve Bruce car chase.  Get in touch: @TheReducerPod and gavinc@balls.ie

Today we dissect one of the maddest documentaries we have ever seen: a 48-minute long offering from 1992 based solely on the fact that Gary Lineker and snooker's Willie Thorne are good mates.  Listen in for a proper bromance, some dodgy Lineker gags, the strange coupling of Thorne's gambling addiction with some jaunty jazz plus the latest on Seamas' attempts to get hired by the DUP.  Get in touch: gavinc@balls.ie or tweet @TheReducerPod

Given that Eamon Dunphy this week announced his retirement from RTE. we delve into his astonishing 40-year career.  Hear who he is, some of his many, many remarkable moments of infamy and a rare dressing down by Dermot Morgan on radio.  We take a look at what made him so memorable, ponder his legacy, rubbish his valedictory column on social media, and generally laugh at the madness of it all.  Get in touch - @TheReducerPod or email gavinc@balls.ie.   

Getting the smug scalpel this week is the documentary Class of 92, starring Man United legends Nicky Butt, Ryan Giggs, David Beckham, Paul Scholes and Gary and Phil Neville.  Also featuring: another run-in between Seamas and a head of state (this time Tony Blair) and Roy Keane's opinion of it all, as he "resembles a screaming accountant taking out his terrible marriage on the children around him all the while having the uncanny, negligible senescence of evil".  There's also an apology of sorts for the Mike Bassett fiasco.  Get in touch by emailing gavinc@balls.ie or tweeting @TheReducerpod. Alternatively, find us @shockproofbeats and @gcooney93. 

With England now out of the World Cup, we look at another man who took over England in dodgy circumstances and guided them to the World Cup semi finals - Mike Bassett.  Gavin likes it; Seamas doesn't.