The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

Have you ever looked at your life from the outside and thought, “Everything looks fine… so why don’t I feel fine?” In this episode, I’m talking about the quiet, almost invisible shutdown many ADHD women experience when we’re technically “getting things done,” but we’ve disconnected from our bodies in order to do it. Not burnout. Not a crisis. Just this low-grade numbness that sneaks in when survival mode becomes our norm. I share how I noticed this pattern in myself, the subtle signs so many of us overlook, why high-functioning ADHD often comes at a physical and emotional cost, and the small, compassionate shifts I’m making to come back into my life instead of just managing it. If you’ve been productive but not present… if you’re checking boxes but not feeling anything while you do it… this episode is going to land deeply. ✨ Mentioned in the episode:  Eleonore de Posson, https://www.eleonoredeposson.com/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Feeling Alive vs. Going Through the Motions 01:00 Recognizing the Signs of Disconnection 02:05 Personal Experiences and Realizations 05:51 Understanding ADHD and Dissociation 07:24 The Importance of Mindfulness and Presence 11:53 Strategies for Reconnecting with Your Body 19:12 The Role of the Nervous System 27:41 Practical Tips for Staying Present 36:58 Conclusion: Embracing Mindfulness in Daily Life   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever felt that quiet pressure to do it right — eat right, work right, rest right, even “heal” right — and wondered why it feels so heavy? In this episode, I’m exploring the hidden cost of trying to get it right — especially for ADHD women who are already juggling so much. This layer of perfectionism isn’t about chasing approval; it’s about trying to prevent chaos, exhaustion, or the overwhelm that comes when things go wrong. I share stories from my own life — from childhood moments of not being believed to adult experiences that taught me to stay hyper-vigilant — and unpack how this pattern is really a nervous system strategy for safety, not flawlessness. You’ll learn how to recognize when your “do it right” part is trying to protect you, how to reconnect with your Self (the calm, compassionate center that knows what to do), and how to build the skills and structure that help you feel safe enough to be imperfect. Because true freedom doesn’t come from doing it all right — it comes from knowing you can handle it when you don’t. Mentioned in the episode: Check out my journal-book experience The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD”.  It is a tangible journal-book that comes in a keepsake box with sensory items I selected to help you do this work - the deeper work of healing. Watch the video showing what it is and learn more here 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ Here is that video on Nervous System Regulation I promised to share, giving you a small taste of some of getting regulated: ADHD Nervous System Regulation: Get Unstuck https://youtu.be/Msq4p8ECNOw    —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Pressure to Get It Right 01:49 Personal Insights and Realizations 02:41 Perfectionism as a Defense Mechanism 04:03 Childhood Memories and Their Impact 05:32 Struggles with Being Heard and Understood 07:02 Recent Experiences and Lessons Learned 10:00 Understanding the Drive for Perfection 13:34 Strategies for Managing Perfectionism 19:09 Building Capacity to Handle Imperfection 34:14 Practical Tips for Letting Go of Perfectionism 38:57 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Ever find yourself replaying something that happened — a conversation, mistake, or awkward moment — and you just can’t stop? You analyze it from every angle, and instead of relief, you just end up feeling worse. You’re not alone. ADHD brains are sticky. We hold on to things longer, feel them more deeply, and often internalize them as something we need to fix or make right. But the truth is, most of the strategies we’re told to use — “just let it go,” journaling, reframing — only work for a moment before the replay spiral starts again. In this episode, we'll explore what’s really happening when ADHD brains can’t stop looping, why this pattern ties so closely to emotional sensitivity and shame, and what I've found that finally helps break the cycle. You’ll learn what doesn’t work, what helps short-term, and the deeper shifts that actually last. ✨ If your brain won’t stop replaying what went wrong — this episode will show you how to soften the pattern and finally find peace.   Resources Mentioned: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small Journal-Book Experience → https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ Journal Back to Self: A 13-Week Guided IFS Journey by my colleague Tara Hedman → → https://www.hedmanwellness.com/journal-back-to-self —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Replay Loop 01:03 Welcome to the Podcast 01:48 Understanding ADHD and Replaying Thoughts 04:47 Short-Term Solutions That Don't Work 07:06 Effective Long-Term Strategies 13:37 Personal Anecdotes and Deeper Insights 20:32 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever wondered why ADHD feels harder for you than it should? You’ve read the books, tried the planners, and built the systems—but it still feels like you’re swimming upstream every single day. In this episode, we uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface. You’ll learn why ADHD women often live life on “hard mode,” how chronic nervous-system dysregulation makes everything feel impossible, and what you can do to finally make daily life and focus easier. We’ll explore the difference between fight, flight, and shutdown states—and how trauma, masking, and constant over-functioning keep your brain stuck in survival mode. You’ll also discover simple ADHD-friendly ways to regulate your nervous system so focus, calm, and motivation start to feel natural again. ✨ If you’re ready to go deeper into healing and creating an inner environment where your brain can finally rest and recharge, check out my journal-book experience: 👉 The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Why Does Everything Feel So Hard? 00:52 Understanding ADHD and Its Hidden Challenges 01:54 Living Life on Hard Mode with ADHD 03:59 The Impact of a Dysregulated Nervous System 05:24 Fight, Flight, or Shutdown: How Our Nervous System Reacts 11:06 Healing and Regulating Your Nervous System 15:47 Conclusion and Further Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever sit down to focus and suddenly your brain takes off in 12 directions at once? You’re not alone — and it’s not about willpower. In this follow-up to last week’s episode, we dive into the real reasons ADHD women lose focus from the inside out — and how to retrain your brain to come back to center without fighting yourself. You’ll learn science-backed ways to quiet internal noise, work with your Default Mode Network, and rebuild your brain’s focus through mindful repetition, movement, and emotional processing. By the end, you’ll understand how to stop battling your attention and start cultivating focus that feels calmer, steadier, and actually sustainable. 🎧 Listen in for ADHD-friendly strategies you can start practicing today — no shame, no quick fixes that don’t last, just real tools for real brains.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Focus 00:16 Recap of Part One: Understanding Internal Distractions 00:37 Today's Focus: Reclaiming Attention 01:23 Welcome and Podcast Overview 02:17 Strategies to Combat Internal Distractions 03:47 Understanding the Default Mode Network 07:58 Mindfulness and Its Benefits 12:09 The Role of Rewards and Motivation 13:58 Managing Emotions and Sensitivity 18:07 Improving Executive Function and Memory 24:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Most ADHD women think distraction means pings, notifications, or people interrupting. But what if the biggest distractions aren’t outside of you at all? In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Podcast, we're pulling back the curtain on the invisible distractions happening inside your own mind — the kind that steal your time, drain your energy, and erode your confidence without you even realizing it. This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about finally naming what’s going on so you can understand why it feels so relentless — and why it’s not your fault. ✨ Next week: Part 2 of this mini-series — How to Reclaim Focus from ADHD’s Internal Distractions. we'll explore practical strategies, nervous system regulation tools, and lived examples to help you work with your brain instead of against it. If you’ve ever wondered why your thoughts pull you away when you need to focus most, this is your invitation to listen in. Clarity alone can change everything. Mentioned in the episode: FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan -> https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction to Distractions 01:03 Welcome to the Podcast 01:45 Understanding Internal Distractions 03:36 The Rich Inner World of ADHD 06:59 Five Reasons for Internal Distractions 08:36 Default Mode Network Explained 11:15 Dopamine and ADHD 13:26 Big Feelings and Distractions 16:49 Executive Functioning and Working Memory 20:20 Conclusion and Next Steps   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

I thought I was done with people pleasing. I’d built boundaries, learned to say no, and told myself I was free from it. But when I moved back to Minnesota—and started building my second business—it snuck back in. I found myself undercharging, over-delivering, and slipping back into perfectionism. The result? Burnout, loneliness, and even physical symptoms like poor sleep, digestive issues, and constant tension in my body. In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, I share: How people pleasing shows up in subtle ways for ADHD women Why perfectionism is often tied to proving our worth The physical and emotional cost of staying stuck in these patterns How I’m working my way out of it—and how you can too If you’ve ever felt like you should be “over” people pleasing, only to find yourself back in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize you’re not alone—and there’s a way forward.   🎧 Be sure to listen!   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Return of People Pleasing 01:16 Welcome to the Podcast 01:53 Personal Struggles and Realizations 03:54 Entrepreneurial Challenges and People Pleasing 07:20 The Impact of Moving Back to Minnesota 10:23 Burnout and Physical Symptoms 15:09 Recognizing and Addressing People Pleasing 23:50 Setting Boundaries and Overcoming Perfectionism 39:59 Conclusion and Journal Book Experience   ✨ Mentioned in this episode… Ready to Finally Stop Playing Small? Check out my Journal-Book Experience is Here!   💡The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD is a tangible journal book plus sensory items for a self-love ritual that all comes in a keep sake box. This guided experience helps you release what’s been holding you back, regulate your nervous system, and finally move forward — in a way that honors your brain, your energy, and your life.   Order your copy here:  https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/      ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever feel surrounded by people yet rarely truly seen? If friendships feel complicated, imbalanced, or oddly exhausting, in this episode we’ll unpack why ADHD can make connection harder—especially for high-achieving women who’ve masked for years and can’t figure out why friends drift or dynamics feel one-sided. By the end, you’ll walk away with… • Language to name what’s been happening in your friendships • A clearer understanding of why it isn’t “just you” • Practical starting points to cultivate authentic, reciprocal connection—without over-giving or masking Mentioned in the episode: Ready to do the deeper inner work that makes healthy friendships possible? Explore The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small—a beautiful journal-book experience with practices, prompts, and gentle nervous-system sensory tools to help you reconnect with your authentic self. Check it out here at: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggles of ADHD Women in Friendships 00:39 Host Introduction and Podcast Overview 01:16 Personal Experiences with ADHD and Friendships 03:00 Challenges Faced by ADHD Women in Friendships 06:55 The Impact of ADHD on Social Interactions 19:43 Maintaining Friendships with ADHD 30:16 Strategies for Building Authentic Friendships 37:49 Conclusion and Additional Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever fantasized about quitting everything and disappearing for a month? That urge to escape might be more than burnout. In this episode, we’ll unpack the hidden overlap between ADHD, anxiety, and depression—especially in high-achieving women who have spent their lives masking, people-pleasing, and pushing through. I’ll share my own story of “smiling depression” as a successful actuary, when everything looked fine on the outside but felt overwhelming inside. You’ll hear about the subtle ways depression and anxiety can show up when ADHD goes unrecognized—like emotional numbness, chronic tiredness, inner self-criticism, and rage reactions to small things. If you've ever wondered why you're so exhausted all the time or felt like you're barely holding it together even though you're “doing well,” this episode will help you name what’s going on and explore next steps with more self-compassion and clarity. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why ADHD in women often hides behind achievement How anxiety and depression may be secondary symptoms of ADHD What “smiling depression” looks like in high-functioning professionals How to spot the difference between normal exhaustion and something deeper Where to start if you think ADHD might be part of your story ✨ Resources Mentioned: How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb Extra Focus by Jesse J. Anderson How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don’t Feel Like It by Dani Donovan The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD Journal-Book Experience:  https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan:  https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Urge to Escape 01:25 Jen's Personal Journey with Anxiety and Depression 01:52 High Achievers and Masking 02:53 The Hidden Struggles of High Achievers 05:31 Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety and Depression 10:35 The Overlap of ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression 17:09 Seeking Help and Diagnosis 22:27 Tools and Strategies for Managing ADHD 28:13 Finding Support and Community 35:24 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Why High-Achieving Women Think They Can’t Be ADHD So many ADHD women don’t even consider the possibility that they have ADHD—especially if they’ve been successful on the outside. If you’ve ever thought: “But I did well in school… I’m productive at work… I can hyper-focus when I need to… there’s no way I could be ADHD,” you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m breaking down the 10 hidden reasons high-achieving women doubt, dismiss, or completely miss their ADHD diagnosis. From the masking trifecta to external structures that hid the struggle, to hyper-focus that looked like “proof” you couldn’t have ADHD—you’ll see why success doesn’t cancel out the challenges. By the end, you may finally understand why ADHD has been a silent part of your story all along. And more importantly—you’ll walk away knowing you’re not just “a mess” or “all over the place.” Your struggles have a real explanation, and you don’t have to keep doubting yourself. 🌟 Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Journal-Book Experience https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: High Achieving Women and ADHD 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:30 Jen's Personal Story and Client Experiences 02:30 10 Ways High Achieving Women Miss ADHD Diagnosis 02:56 Breaking Down ADHD Stereotypes 05:55 The Masking Trifecta 08:14 External Structures and High IQ 14:06 Hyper-focus and Character Misinterpretations 19:03 Hormonal Shifts and Success Despite ADHD 22:50 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Urgent vs. Important with ADHD: Why Distractions Feel Impossible to Resist Have you ever sat down to do one simple thing — like send an email — and forty minutes later you’ve chased a dozen distractions, fixed something that wasn’t urgent, and now you feel scattered and frustrated? That’s the ADHD distraction cycle. In this episode, I’m unpacking why ADHD brains treat everything like it’s urgent, how dopamine and working memory drive us toward rabbit holes, and the emotional side of people-pleasing and perfectionism that make it worse. You’ll learn simple, ADHD-friendly ways to capture distractions, regulate your nervous system, and bring yourself back to what matters — without shame. —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The ADHD Distraction Cycle 00:44 Welcome to the Podcast 02:03 Jen's Personal Story of Distraction 03:17 Understanding the Urgency of Distractions 04:24 Brain Wiring and Distraction 06:50 Strategies to Combat Distractions 10:37 Self-Compassion and Final Thoughts 13:16 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Burnout: When My Body Forced Me to Stop This week, my ADHD body said “no more.” I woke up with neck pain, brain fog, and zero energy—and I realized I had hit the wall of burnout. For years, I’ve pushed, achieved, and over-functioned, but this time my body forced me to stop. In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of what that day looked like, the wake-up call it gave me, and the surprising lessons I’m learning about slowing down, rest, and realignment. ADHD burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s your body sending you a message. And if you ignore it, it only gets louder. We’ll talk about: The moment my body forced me to stop and why it mattered How over-functioning and perfectionism set ADHD women up for burnout The difference between stress, overwhelm, and true burnout Why rest is not optional, but necessary regulation How reconnecting with my Divine Feminine energy is changing how I approach my business and my life If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing rest or wondered why your energy vanishes when you need it most, this episode is for you. Burnout isn’t failure—it’s the first step toward a more aligned and sustainable way of living.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: A Day of Complete Shutdown 02:17 The Moment My Body Forced Me to Stop 04:29 The Journey of Building My Business 08:04 The Crash and Realization 10:00 Steps to Recovery and Self-Care 12:30 Understanding Burnout and Overwhelm 15:43 Embracing Rest and Reflection 21:31 Final Thoughts and Moving Forward   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

The ADHD Morning Routine Fix That Finally Works Have you ever built the “perfect” morning routine, felt amazing for three days, and then suddenly watched it all fall apart? You’re not alone. ADHD brains aren’t built for rigid routines. We crave novelty, our energy shifts from day to day, and shame sets in when consistency doesn’t look the way it’s “supposed” to. In this episode, I’ll walk you through a flexible ADHD-friendly approach to mornings that actually supports your brain. You’ll learn: ✅ Why traditional routines don’t work for ADHD women ✅ How to design a morning routine that flexes with your energy levels ✅ The 3 versions of a self-love ritual: “better than nothing,” core, and expanded ✅ Simple tricks to remember and adapt your morning routine without shame ✅ How compassion (not perfection) makes your mornings sustainable Your mornings don’t have to be about discipline or rigidity. They can be a practice of self-love that sets the tone for focus, motivation, and nervous system regulation throughout your day. ✨ If you found this helpful, share it with another ADHD woman who needs support. And don’t forget to subscribe for more strategies that truly fit your brain. #ADHDMorningRoutine #ADHDWomen #ADHDProductivity #NeurodivergentSupport #ADHDLife   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Morning Routines 01:20 Understanding ADHD and Routine Challenges 06:15 The Importance of Compassion and Flexibility 08:37 Creating Your Morning Self-Love Ritual 09:22 Adapting Your Routine to Your Energy Levels 16:43 Tips for Remembering and Maintaining Your Routine 19:09 Conclusion: Embrace Flexibility and Self-Compassion   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Real Talk: Why Fun Feels “Undeserved” with ADHD Many ADHD women live by an unspoken rule: no fun until all the work is done. But with an ADHD brain, the work never ends—and joy, connection, and true rest keep getting pushed further down the list. In this episode, I’m getting real about why fun often feels “undeserved” when you have ADHD, how perfectionism and over-functioning keep you trapped, and why skipping fun is a fast track to burnout. We’ll talk about: • The inner critic and societal expectations that tell you to “earn” rest • Why scrolling isn’t real rest—and how it drains your energy • How fun and creativity actually make you more productive • Practical steps to protect joy on your calendar Fun isn’t just for the weekend or when your to-do list is empty—it’s a key part of living well with ADHD. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way journal-book experience: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Find Fun 00:42 Welcome to the Podcast 01:26 The Fun Dilemma for ADHD Women 02:27 Personal Stories and Observations 05:55 The Impact of Societal Expectations 10:23 The Importance of Fun and Creativity 15:21 Practical Tips for Scheduling Fun 20:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself: The Powerful Truth About Healing and Self-Love So many ADHD women spend years thinking, “If I can just fix what’s wrong with me, I’ll finally feel okay.” But what if there was never anything wrong with you to begin with? In this episode, I’m sharing a different way to think about healing—not as a project to “get right,” but as a journey of becoming more of who you truly are, one layer at a time.   We’ll talk about: Why ADHD women often carry the quiet belief that they’re “wrong” or “too much” How healing invites you back to yourself over and over, instead of pushing you to try harder The shift from shame, to acceptance, to compassion, and eventually, to self-love A gentle reminder that you’re not broken—you’re becoming If you’re tired of trying to fix yourself and you’re craving a softer, truer path forward, this conversation is for you. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: Grab your copy of the journal-book experience: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Embracing Your True Self 00:59 Welcome to the Podcast 01:42 The Myth of Fixing Ourselves 02:24 Recognizing Patterns and Burnout 04:50 The Journey of Healing 06:40 Acceptance and Compassion 08:33 Layers of Healing and Growth 13:01 Moving Out of Shame 16:47 Practical Steps to Self-Compassion 26:00 Conclusion: Embracing the Journey 28:39 Special Offer and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Ever get stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, overanalyzing decisions, or spiraling in self-doubt? You’re not alone—and it’s not just anxiety. In this episode, Jen breaks down the neuroscience behind ADHD overthinking, how it's different from anxiety, and why traditional advice like “just stop thinking about it” never works for ADHD brains.   You'll learn: 5 brain-based reasons ADHD overthinking happens How to spot the difference between ADHD and anxiety spirals What to do in the moment to ground and move forward Simple daily habits to reduce overthinking long-term Plus, Jen shares how mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and compassionate awareness can help you shift the cycle—for good.   ✨ Mentioned in this episode: Grab your copy of the journal-book experience: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction to ADHD Overthinking 00:22 Understanding ADHD Overthinking 01:41 Personal Experiences with ADHD Overthinking 02:27 Causes of ADHD Overthinking 08:12 ADHD Overthinking vs. Anxiety Overthinking 15:37 Tools to Manage ADHD Overthinking 20:33 Lifestyle Changes to Reduce Overthinking 21:07 The Importance of Movement and Exercise 27:12 The Role of Sleep and Nutrition 31:27 Mindfulness for ADHD 36:13 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛   Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Burnout - or is it that your DONE People Pleasing? Have you ever wondered if you're really burnt out… or if you’re just done people pleasing? In this episode, I’m sharing something I wish more ADHD women (including me) heard sooner: sometimes we’re not exhausted from doing too much—we’re exhausted from being too much for everyone else. From performing. From holding it all together. From being the “pleasant” one, even when we’re falling apart inside. I open up about my own story—how I went from being a colicky baby to the “perfect child,” and how that shaped my tendency to mask, fawn, and make myself smaller to stay safe. I also walk you through the difference between true burnout and the nervous system fatigue that comes from chronic people pleasing and masking. If you’ve been resting but still feel drained… if you’re overwhelmed but can’t point to why… or if you’re longing to be more real in your life but you’re afraid of what might happen—I made this episode for you. You’ll learn: Why ADHD women are especially vulnerable to fawning and masking What signs point to people-pleasing fatigue (not just burnout) How to start unmasking in small, powerful ways What it actually means to feel safe enough to be yourself —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Understanding Exhaustion 00:52 The Burden of Masking and People Pleasing 02:24 Personal Experiences and Reflections 03:46 The Cost of Chronic Masking 08:54 Embracing Authenticity and Setting Boundaries 14:57 Practical Steps to Unmasking 18:18 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If this episode resonated with you… Please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support 💛 💌 Want to go deeper? I created The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small as a journal-book experience to help you reconnect with the version of you that doesn’t have to over-perform to be worthy. It’s part book, part ritual, and 100% soul-nourishing. 🌹 Grab your copy here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org   Connect with me on social media: YouTube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health, or medical advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact emergency services in your area. If you’re in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Stop "Controlling" Your Emotions with ADHD: How to ACTUALLY Work with Big Feelings Do you ever feel like your emotions are just too much—or maybe like you’ve suppressed them so long that you barely feel them at all?   If you're an ADHD woman who’s been told you’re “too sensitive,” or if you’ve spent years trying to manage or control your emotions so others won’t be uncomfortable, this episode is a must-listen.   In this raw and compassionate episode, we’ll unpacks how emotional suppression harms ADHD women—and shares a practical framework for actually working with your feelings (instead of shutting them down).   You’ll hear: Why ADHD women are often told their feelings are “too much” How emotional suppression affects your body, your brain, and your relationships The 90-second truth about emotions and what helps you process them A step-by-step framework to recognize, validate, and work with your emotions How to get curious about your parts without judgment   This episode is for you if: You struggle with emotional overwhelm—or feel emotionally “numb” You’ve been taught to push down or hide your emotions You want tools for real emotional growth, not just “coping” You're ready to feel more like you again   — CHAPTERS — 00:00 Introduction to ADHD Feelings 01:10 Welcome to the Podcast 01:48 Jen's Personal Story 04:04 The Common Struggle with Emotions 05:19 Therapy and Emotional Suppression 07:11 The Importance of Embracing Emotions 13:18 Practical Steps to Handle Big Feelings 19:15 Special Announcement: Journal Book Experience 21:26 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action   💛 Special Announcement: Jen’s journal-book experience, The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small, is now in presale! This keepsake box includes a guided journal plus beautiful tools for your self-love ritual. Learn more and grab yours at: 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛 💻 Ready to go deeper? Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: 👉 https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: 👉 www.jenbarnes.org   Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Women: The High Cost of Being a “Pleasant Child” In this vulnerable episode, I open up about something I’ve only recently started to fully unpack: how my colicky infancy may have been the beginning of my lifelong masking as a woman with ADHD. What happens when the only way we feel loved is by being quiet, easy, and accommodating? We’ll talk about early emotional abandonment, attachment patterns, and the cost of becoming "the good girl." I also dive into why so many ADHD women disconnect from their bodies, needs, and authentic self—and what we can do to begin reclaiming who we truly are. If you’ve ever felt drained by over-functioning, perfectionism, or trying to be palatable to others, this episode will hit home.   —⏱️—CHAPTERS—⏱️— 00:00 Introduction: Unpacking Masking and ADHD 00:46 Early Childhood and Masking Origins 01:10 Welcome to the Podcast 01:52 Personal Stories and Family Dynamics 03:40 The Impact of Early Experiences 06:34 ADHD and Societal Expectations 09:20 Navigating Adulthood with ADHD 15:25 Reclaiming Authenticity and Self-Love 28:04 Introducing the Journal Book Experience 31:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement   💛 Want support unmasking and reconnecting with your authentic self? Check out The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD—a journal book experience and ritual kit for coming home to YOU. 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛 Looking for more ways to connect and get ADHD Support?   Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here:  https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club  Learn more about how we can work together:  www.jenbarnes.org   Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Healing ADHD Burnout by Reclaiming Your Feminine Power (with Eleonore de Posson) If you’ve ever found yourself teetering on the edge of burnout—over-functioning, disconnected from your body, and stuck in “fix it” mode—this episode is your permission slip to pause. This week, I’m re-airing one of the most powerful conversations I’ve had on the podcast, with spiritual teacher and author Eleonore de Posson. And I’m doing it for a reason: I’ve been living in burnout recovery myself. After months of falling into hustle patterns and misaligned doing, I chose to stop. To soften. And to return to the feminine. What supported me most? Eleonore’s 21-Day Sacred Feminine Reset—an offering I had purchased last year but wasn’t ready to receive until now. Her work, her presence, and this conversation are part of the medicine I needed—and I want to share that with you. In this episode, we explore: Why ADHD women often operate from wounded masculine energy How feminine energy helps heal burnout, regulate your nervous system, and restore clarity The six gifts of feminine sovereignty (and how to actually embody them) The difference between divine and wounded masculine and feminine energy What ancient spiritual traditions—from Mary Magdalene to Traditional Chinese Medicine—can teach us about healing and reclaiming power How structure, flow, intuition, and groundedness all work together for ADHD women Even though this episode originally centered on entrepreneurship, the wisdom here is for all ambitious ADHD women—especially those navigating burnout, emotional overwhelm, or spiritual disconnection. ✨ If you’re ready to experience the same feminine reset that supported me, check out Eleonore’s 21-Day Sacred Feminine Reset here. https://www.eleonoredeposson.com/21daysfr   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛   ⏱ CHAPTERS ⏱ 00:00 Introduction and Personal Update 02:17 Revisiting the Conversation with Eleanor 04:26 Welcoming Eleanor De Poon 05:22 Eleanor's Journey and the Power of Surrender 11:20 Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energies 18:28 The Divine and Wounded Masculine and Feminine 24:46 The Role of Ancient Wisdom and Goddesses 30:36 Balancing Structure and Flow 38:51 Healing the Masculine and Feminine Wounds 39:36 The Wisdom of Mary Magdalene 40:43 Exploring the True Mary Magdalene 41:28 Mary Magdalene and Jesus: A Sacred Union 42:09 Religious Trauma and Personal Reflections 43:24 The Feminine and the Holy Spirit 44:02 Church, Power, and Patriarchy 44:19 Rediscovering Mary Magdalene's Teachings 47:33 The Witch, Bitch, and Whore Wounds 47:52 Healing the Witch Wound 53:02 The Bitch Wound and Self-Worth 01:02:36 The Whore Wound and Sacred Sexuality 01:12:39 Eleanor's Work and Final Thoughts ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛 💻 Ready to go deeper? Check out ASCEND: The ADHD Women’s Mastery Program — Jen’s high-touch coaching experience designed specifically for ADHD women professionals. With weekly calls, body doubling, and 1:1 coaching with Jen, ASCEND helps you shift your patterns, support your nervous system, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Check it out here: https://jenbarnes.org/the-adhd-women-entrepreneurs-mastery-program/ Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org Connect with me on social media! YouTube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health, or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Line or 911 for a medical emergency.