The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

So many ADHD women are praised for being capable — dependable, reliable, the one who figures things out when others don’t. And yet, there’s a form of burnout that hides inside that role. In this episode, we will slow down a pattern many high-functioning women live inside without fully seeing — one that often looks successful on the outside while quietly draining the nervous system over time. We will explore how this pattern shows up in everyday life, why it can become heavier even when nothing appears to be “wrong,” and what begins to change once you recognize it for what it is. This conversation isn’t about doing less, quitting everything, or losing the parts of you that are competent and capable. It’s about understanding the cost of always being the one who holds it together — and why your body may be asking for something different now. If you’ve ever wondered why you’re exhausted despite doing everything “right,” this episode will speak to you.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Burnout 01:11 Welcome to the Podcast 01:53 Personal Experience: Being the Capable One 05:26 The Cost of Overextending 08:14 Recognizing Burnout Signs 10:35 Strategies to Avoid Burnout 19:51 Empowering Others: Delegating Tasks 25:28 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Anger and rage can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even frightening — especially for ADHD women who were taught to suppress big emotions. In this episode, we will talk about why rage isn’t something to get rid of, but something worth listening to. We’ll look at how pushing anger away often makes it louder, and why rage tends to show up when boundaries are crossed or when we feel powerless to create change. We’ll also explore a different way of relating to anger — one rooted in curiosity, compassion, and nervous system awareness — so rage can soften instead of escalating into overwhelm or shutdown. This episode isn’t about forcing calm, staying positive, or bypassing hard feelings. It’s about understanding what your rage is communicating and learning how to work with it in a way that brings you back into your power.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Embracing Your Rage 01:09 Welcome to the Podcast 01:51 The Stigma Around Women's Anger 03:18 Understanding and Validating Your Anger 05:43 Differentiating Anger and Rage 10:21 Working with Your Anger 13:09 Finding Your Power and Voice 21:26 Radical Acceptance and Moving Forward 28:07 Conclusion and Resources   📕 Mentioned in the episode: The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD… A Journal-Book Experience   A guided, sensory-rich journal experience designed to help ADHD women slow down, listen inward, and work compassionately with big emotions instead of pushing them away. It supports the same curiosity-based, nervous-system-friendly approach we talk about in this episode.   Check it out here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

If you’re an ADHD woman, especially a high-achieving one, chances are you’ve spent most of your life using coping habits that helped you survive… until they slowly stopped working. In this episode, I’m sharing the three coping patterns that supported me for decades but eventually contributed to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout. We’ll explore how these habits formed, why they seemed helpful, and how they quietly became stress responses that drained my energy, presence, and joy. And most importantly — we’ll walk through what I’m doing differently now so you can begin shifting these patterns in your own life. If you’ve ever felt like you’re running behind, over-functioning, or trying to “get it right” so nothing explodes later… this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and less alone.   ✨ Mentioned in the episode: The ADHD 5-Step Task Master Plan — a free, compassionate guide to help you get things done without burning yourself out. Grab it here: https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Cost of ADHD Coping Habits 01:06 Welcome to the Self Loved ADHD Woman's Way Podcast 02:11 Maladaptive Coping Habit #1: Saying Yes to Everything 04:51 Maladaptive Coping Habit #2: Perfectionism 06:55 Maladaptive Coping Habit #3: Hyper Efficiency 10:08 Shifting Towards Healthier Habits 12:31 Conclusion: Embrace a Sustainable Life   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever had a moment where you think, “I’m doing all the things… so why isn’t anything actually changing?” This week, I’m dropping a short post-holiday-week tidbit about the one shift I’ve seen move the needle more than any tool, strategy, planner, or productivity hack ever could. And no, it’s not what you think. After 25+ years in the mental health field, working with hundreds of ADHD women, I’ve watched this one thing quietly transform motivation, follow-through, emotional regulation, and the way women show up in their daily lives. But it’s the very thing most ADHD women never even consider—because we’ve been conditioned to focus on “fixing,” masking, and trying harder instead. This mini-episode invites you into something deeper, gentler, and honestly… more effective. If you’ve felt overwhelmed, ashamed, “scattered,” or like you’re constantly fighting your own brain, this one is for you. ✨ Tune in and see what opens up.     —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction and Purpose 00:28 The One Thing That Makes a Difference 01:01 Understanding ADHD and Self-Acceptance 02:35 The Power of Compassion 03:21 Embracing Your Reality 04:28 Moving Towards Self-Love 06:43 Final Thoughts and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever had one of those days where you’re doing everything you’re “supposed” to do to get motivated… and you still end up frozen, spiraling, or pushing yourself so hard you’re exhausted before you even begin? If you’re an ADHD woman, that isn’t a character flaw. It’s conditioning. It’s survival mode. And honestly? It’s one of the biggest reasons so many of us stay stuck in overwhelm and burnout. In this episode, we’ll unpack why traditional motivation strategies — willpower, urgency, shame, fear, or trying to be “consistent” — backfire for ADHD brains. These approaches don’t support our wiring; they fight against it. Then I walk you through four ADHD-friendly ways to actually get motivated without relying on panic, pressure, or self-judgment. You’ll learn how to work with your natural tendencies, match tasks to your energy, make things interesting, and regulate your nervous system so you can start from a place of safety instead of stress. By the end, you’ll understand the real science behind ADHD motivation and have simple, doable tools to support yourself with more compassion and far fewer consequences. Mentioned in the episode: 📺  Are You Living… or Just Functioning? ADHD’s Quiet Disconnection https://youtu.be/nZGb-Hl-Xac   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Motivation 00:29 Why Traditional Motivation Fails for ADHD 01:37 Welcome to the Podcast 02:18 Personal Anecdotes and Realizations 05:16 Common ADHD Motivation Pitfalls 22:54 Effective ADHD-Friendly Motivation Strategies 29:53 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Have you ever walked into a meeting and instantly started monitoring yourself—your volume, your facial expressions, your ideas—so you wouldn’t come across as “too much”? Too intense, too direct, too emotional, too silly, too curious? In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, we’re unpacking the fear of being “too much” at work and how it quietly shapes the careers and nervous systems of ADHD women. I share stories about being labeled too loud, too playful, and too direct, how I moved from feeling “not enough” to over-functioning so no one would see my struggles, and the moment I realized “not enough” and “too much” actually come from the same place. We’ll explore how childhood conditioning, masking, workplace expectations, and rejection sensitivity all intertwine—and why playing small has real emotional, physical, and career costs. You’ll also learn practical ways to start reclaiming your authentic self at work in small, nervous-system-friendly steps. In this episode, we’ll explore: • How ADHD women internalize messages about being “too much” • The paradox of feeling both “not enough” and “too much” • Over-functioning, masking, and the hidden cost of playing small • Why visibility feels so threatening in professional spaces • Nervous system tools to anchor yourself when you feel exposed • Small, doable ways to practice being more of who you really are at work If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, my journal-book experience, The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD, will help you explore the parts of you that feel too much or not enough—and begin to build a more self-loving, grounded relationship with yourself. Learn more here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Fear of Being Too Much 00:50 Personal Experiences and Struggles 01:36 Understanding the Fear of Being Too Much 02:53 Podcast Introduction and Overview 03:35 Exploring the Fear of Being Too Much 04:17 Childhood Conditioning and Nervous System Responses 06:08 Workplace Challenges and Personal Stories 12:35 Internalized Labels and Misinterpretations 13:53 The Paradox of Being Too Much or Not Enough 17:28 Consequences of Playing Small 23:53 Navigating the Workplace with ADHD 27:29 Strategies for Authentic Self-Expression 37:05 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever looked at your life from the outside and thought, “Everything looks fine… so why don’t I feel fine?” In this episode, I’m talking about the quiet, almost invisible shutdown many ADHD women experience when we’re technically “getting things done,” but we’ve disconnected from our bodies in order to do it. Not burnout. Not a crisis. Just this low-grade numbness that sneaks in when survival mode becomes our norm. I share how I noticed this pattern in myself, the subtle signs so many of us overlook, why high-functioning ADHD often comes at a physical and emotional cost, and the small, compassionate shifts I’m making to come back into my life instead of just managing it. If you’ve been productive but not present… if you’re checking boxes but not feeling anything while you do it… this episode is going to land deeply. ✨ Mentioned in the episode:  Eleonore de Posson, https://www.eleonoredeposson.com/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Feeling Alive vs. Going Through the Motions 01:00 Recognizing the Signs of Disconnection 02:05 Personal Experiences and Realizations 05:51 Understanding ADHD and Dissociation 07:24 The Importance of Mindfulness and Presence 11:53 Strategies for Reconnecting with Your Body 19:12 The Role of the Nervous System 27:41 Practical Tips for Staying Present 36:58 Conclusion: Embracing Mindfulness in Daily Life   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever felt that quiet pressure to do it right — eat right, work right, rest right, even “heal” right — and wondered why it feels so heavy? In this episode, I’m exploring the hidden cost of trying to get it right — especially for ADHD women who are already juggling so much. This layer of perfectionism isn’t about chasing approval; it’s about trying to prevent chaos, exhaustion, or the overwhelm that comes when things go wrong. I share stories from my own life — from childhood moments of not being believed to adult experiences that taught me to stay hyper-vigilant — and unpack how this pattern is really a nervous system strategy for safety, not flawlessness. You’ll learn how to recognize when your “do it right” part is trying to protect you, how to reconnect with your Self (the calm, compassionate center that knows what to do), and how to build the skills and structure that help you feel safe enough to be imperfect. Because true freedom doesn’t come from doing it all right — it comes from knowing you can handle it when you don’t. Mentioned in the episode: Check out my journal-book experience The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD”.  It is a tangible journal-book that comes in a keepsake box with sensory items I selected to help you do this work - the deeper work of healing. Watch the video showing what it is and learn more here 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ Here is that video on Nervous System Regulation I promised to share, giving you a small taste of some of getting regulated: ADHD Nervous System Regulation: Get Unstuck https://youtu.be/Msq4p8ECNOw    —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Pressure to Get It Right 01:49 Personal Insights and Realizations 02:41 Perfectionism as a Defense Mechanism 04:03 Childhood Memories and Their Impact 05:32 Struggles with Being Heard and Understood 07:02 Recent Experiences and Lessons Learned 10:00 Understanding the Drive for Perfection 13:34 Strategies for Managing Perfectionism 19:09 Building Capacity to Handle Imperfection 34:14 Practical Tips for Letting Go of Perfectionism 38:57 Conclusion and Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/   DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Ever find yourself replaying something that happened — a conversation, mistake, or awkward moment — and you just can’t stop? You analyze it from every angle, and instead of relief, you just end up feeling worse. You’re not alone. ADHD brains are sticky. We hold on to things longer, feel them more deeply, and often internalize them as something we need to fix or make right. But the truth is, most of the strategies we’re told to use — “just let it go,” journaling, reframing — only work for a moment before the replay spiral starts again. In this episode, we'll explore what’s really happening when ADHD brains can’t stop looping, why this pattern ties so closely to emotional sensitivity and shame, and what I've found that finally helps break the cycle. You’ll learn what doesn’t work, what helps short-term, and the deeper shifts that actually last. ✨ If your brain won’t stop replaying what went wrong — this episode will show you how to soften the pattern and finally find peace.   Resources Mentioned: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small Journal-Book Experience → https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ Journal Back to Self: A 13-Week Guided IFS Journey by my colleague Tara Hedman → → https://www.hedmanwellness.com/journal-back-to-self —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Replay Loop 01:03 Welcome to the Podcast 01:48 Understanding ADHD and Replaying Thoughts 04:47 Short-Term Solutions That Don't Work 07:06 Effective Long-Term Strategies 13:37 Personal Anecdotes and Deeper Insights 20:32 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever wondered why ADHD feels harder for you than it should? You’ve read the books, tried the planners, and built the systems—but it still feels like you’re swimming upstream every single day. In this episode, we uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface. You’ll learn why ADHD women often live life on “hard mode,” how chronic nervous-system dysregulation makes everything feel impossible, and what you can do to finally make daily life and focus easier. We’ll explore the difference between fight, flight, and shutdown states—and how trauma, masking, and constant over-functioning keep your brain stuck in survival mode. You’ll also discover simple ADHD-friendly ways to regulate your nervous system so focus, calm, and motivation start to feel natural again. ✨ If you’re ready to go deeper into healing and creating an inner environment where your brain can finally rest and recharge, check out my journal-book experience: 👉 The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Why Does Everything Feel So Hard? 00:52 Understanding ADHD and Its Hidden Challenges 01:54 Living Life on Hard Mode with ADHD 03:59 The Impact of a Dysregulated Nervous System 05:24 Fight, Flight, or Shutdown: How Our Nervous System Reacts 11:06 Healing and Regulating Your Nervous System 15:47 Conclusion and Further Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever sit down to focus and suddenly your brain takes off in 12 directions at once? You’re not alone — and it’s not about willpower. In this follow-up to last week’s episode, we dive into the real reasons ADHD women lose focus from the inside out — and how to retrain your brain to come back to center without fighting yourself. You’ll learn science-backed ways to quiet internal noise, work with your Default Mode Network, and rebuild your brain’s focus through mindful repetition, movement, and emotional processing. By the end, you’ll understand how to stop battling your attention and start cultivating focus that feels calmer, steadier, and actually sustainable. 🎧 Listen in for ADHD-friendly strategies you can start practicing today — no shame, no quick fixes that don’t last, just real tools for real brains.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Focus 00:16 Recap of Part One: Understanding Internal Distractions 00:37 Today's Focus: Reclaiming Attention 01:23 Welcome and Podcast Overview 02:17 Strategies to Combat Internal Distractions 03:47 Understanding the Default Mode Network 07:58 Mindfulness and Its Benefits 12:09 The Role of Rewards and Motivation 13:58 Managing Emotions and Sensitivity 18:07 Improving Executive Function and Memory 24:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Most ADHD women think distraction means pings, notifications, or people interrupting. But what if the biggest distractions aren’t outside of you at all? In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Podcast, we're pulling back the curtain on the invisible distractions happening inside your own mind — the kind that steal your time, drain your energy, and erode your confidence without you even realizing it. This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about finally naming what’s going on so you can understand why it feels so relentless — and why it’s not your fault. ✨ Next week: Part 2 of this mini-series — How to Reclaim Focus from ADHD’s Internal Distractions. we'll explore practical strategies, nervous system regulation tools, and lived examples to help you work with your brain instead of against it. If you’ve ever wondered why your thoughts pull you away when you need to focus most, this is your invitation to listen in. Clarity alone can change everything. Mentioned in the episode: FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan -> https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction to Distractions 01:03 Welcome to the Podcast 01:45 Understanding Internal Distractions 03:36 The Rich Inner World of ADHD 06:59 Five Reasons for Internal Distractions 08:36 Default Mode Network Explained 11:15 Dopamine and ADHD 13:26 Big Feelings and Distractions 16:49 Executive Functioning and Working Memory 20:20 Conclusion and Next Steps   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

I thought I was done with people pleasing. I’d built boundaries, learned to say no, and told myself I was free from it. But when I moved back to Minnesota—and started building my second business—it snuck back in. I found myself undercharging, over-delivering, and slipping back into perfectionism. The result? Burnout, loneliness, and even physical symptoms like poor sleep, digestive issues, and constant tension in my body. In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, I share: How people pleasing shows up in subtle ways for ADHD women Why perfectionism is often tied to proving our worth The physical and emotional cost of staying stuck in these patterns How I’m working my way out of it—and how you can too If you’ve ever felt like you should be “over” people pleasing, only to find yourself back in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize you’re not alone—and there’s a way forward.   🎧 Be sure to listen!   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Return of People Pleasing 01:16 Welcome to the Podcast 01:53 Personal Struggles and Realizations 03:54 Entrepreneurial Challenges and People Pleasing 07:20 The Impact of Moving Back to Minnesota 10:23 Burnout and Physical Symptoms 15:09 Recognizing and Addressing People Pleasing 23:50 Setting Boundaries and Overcoming Perfectionism 39:59 Conclusion and Journal Book Experience   ✨ Mentioned in this episode… Ready to Finally Stop Playing Small? Check out my Journal-Book Experience is Here!   💡The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD is a tangible journal book plus sensory items for a self-love ritual that all comes in a keep sake box. This guided experience helps you release what’s been holding you back, regulate your nervous system, and finally move forward — in a way that honors your brain, your energy, and your life.   Order your copy here:  https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/      ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever feel surrounded by people yet rarely truly seen? If friendships feel complicated, imbalanced, or oddly exhausting, in this episode we’ll unpack why ADHD can make connection harder—especially for high-achieving women who’ve masked for years and can’t figure out why friends drift or dynamics feel one-sided. By the end, you’ll walk away with… • Language to name what’s been happening in your friendships • A clearer understanding of why it isn’t “just you” • Practical starting points to cultivate authentic, reciprocal connection—without over-giving or masking Mentioned in the episode: Ready to do the deeper inner work that makes healthy friendships possible? Explore The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small—a beautiful journal-book experience with practices, prompts, and gentle nervous-system sensory tools to help you reconnect with your authentic self. Check it out here at: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggles of ADHD Women in Friendships 00:39 Host Introduction and Podcast Overview 01:16 Personal Experiences with ADHD and Friendships 03:00 Challenges Faced by ADHD Women in Friendships 06:55 The Impact of ADHD on Social Interactions 19:43 Maintaining Friendships with ADHD 30:16 Strategies for Building Authentic Friendships 37:49 Conclusion and Additional Resources   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever fantasized about quitting everything and disappearing for a month? That urge to escape might be more than burnout. In this episode, we’ll unpack the hidden overlap between ADHD, anxiety, and depression—especially in high-achieving women who have spent their lives masking, people-pleasing, and pushing through. I’ll share my own story of “smiling depression” as a successful actuary, when everything looked fine on the outside but felt overwhelming inside. You’ll hear about the subtle ways depression and anxiety can show up when ADHD goes unrecognized—like emotional numbness, chronic tiredness, inner self-criticism, and rage reactions to small things. If you've ever wondered why you're so exhausted all the time or felt like you're barely holding it together even though you're “doing well,” this episode will help you name what’s going on and explore next steps with more self-compassion and clarity. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why ADHD in women often hides behind achievement How anxiety and depression may be secondary symptoms of ADHD What “smiling depression” looks like in high-functioning professionals How to spot the difference between normal exhaustion and something deeper Where to start if you think ADHD might be part of your story ✨ Resources Mentioned: How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb Extra Focus by Jesse J. Anderson How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don’t Feel Like It by Dani Donovan The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD Journal-Book Experience:  https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan:  https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Urge to Escape 01:25 Jen's Personal Journey with Anxiety and Depression 01:52 High Achievers and Masking 02:53 The Hidden Struggles of High Achievers 05:31 Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety and Depression 10:35 The Overlap of ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression 17:09 Seeking Help and Diagnosis 22:27 Tools and Strategies for Managing ADHD 28:13 Finding Support and Community 35:24 Conclusion and Final Thoughts   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Why High-Achieving Women Think They Can’t Be ADHD So many ADHD women don’t even consider the possibility that they have ADHD—especially if they’ve been successful on the outside. If you’ve ever thought: “But I did well in school… I’m productive at work… I can hyper-focus when I need to… there’s no way I could be ADHD,” you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m breaking down the 10 hidden reasons high-achieving women doubt, dismiss, or completely miss their ADHD diagnosis. From the masking trifecta to external structures that hid the struggle, to hyper-focus that looked like “proof” you couldn’t have ADHD—you’ll see why success doesn’t cancel out the challenges. By the end, you may finally understand why ADHD has been a silent part of your story all along. And more importantly—you’ll walk away knowing you’re not just “a mess” or “all over the place.” Your struggles have a real explanation, and you don’t have to keep doubting yourself. 🌟 Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Journal-Book Experience https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/ —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: High Achieving Women and ADHD 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:30 Jen's Personal Story and Client Experiences 02:30 10 Ways High Achieving Women Miss ADHD Diagnosis 02:56 Breaking Down ADHD Stereotypes 05:55 The Masking Trifecta 08:14 External Structures and High IQ 14:06 Hyper-focus and Character Misinterpretations 19:03 Hormonal Shifts and Success Despite ADHD 22:50 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/    DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Urgent vs. Important with ADHD: Why Distractions Feel Impossible to Resist Have you ever sat down to do one simple thing — like send an email — and forty minutes later you’ve chased a dozen distractions, fixed something that wasn’t urgent, and now you feel scattered and frustrated? That’s the ADHD distraction cycle. In this episode, I’m unpacking why ADHD brains treat everything like it’s urgent, how dopamine and working memory drive us toward rabbit holes, and the emotional side of people-pleasing and perfectionism that make it worse. You’ll learn simple, ADHD-friendly ways to capture distractions, regulate your nervous system, and bring yourself back to what matters — without shame. —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The ADHD Distraction Cycle 00:44 Welcome to the Podcast 02:03 Jen's Personal Story of Distraction 03:17 Understanding the Urgency of Distractions 04:24 Brain Wiring and Distraction 06:50 Strategies to Combat Distractions 10:37 Self-Compassion and Final Thoughts 13:16 Conclusion and Call to Action   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Burnout: When My Body Forced Me to Stop This week, my ADHD body said “no more.” I woke up with neck pain, brain fog, and zero energy—and I realized I had hit the wall of burnout. For years, I’ve pushed, achieved, and over-functioned, but this time my body forced me to stop. In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of what that day looked like, the wake-up call it gave me, and the surprising lessons I’m learning about slowing down, rest, and realignment. ADHD burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s your body sending you a message. And if you ignore it, it only gets louder. We’ll talk about: The moment my body forced me to stop and why it mattered How over-functioning and perfectionism set ADHD women up for burnout The difference between stress, overwhelm, and true burnout Why rest is not optional, but necessary regulation How reconnecting with my Divine Feminine energy is changing how I approach my business and my life If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing rest or wondered why your energy vanishes when you need it most, this episode is for you. Burnout isn’t failure—it’s the first step toward a more aligned and sustainable way of living.   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: A Day of Complete Shutdown 02:17 The Moment My Body Forced Me to Stop 04:29 The Journey of Building My Business 08:04 The Crash and Realization 10:00 Steps to Recovery and Self-Care 12:30 Understanding Burnout and Overwhelm 15:43 Embracing Rest and Reflection 21:31 Final Thoughts and Moving Forward   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

The ADHD Morning Routine Fix That Finally Works Have you ever built the “perfect” morning routine, felt amazing for three days, and then suddenly watched it all fall apart? You’re not alone. ADHD brains aren’t built for rigid routines. We crave novelty, our energy shifts from day to day, and shame sets in when consistency doesn’t look the way it’s “supposed” to. In this episode, I’ll walk you through a flexible ADHD-friendly approach to mornings that actually supports your brain. You’ll learn: ✅ Why traditional routines don’t work for ADHD women ✅ How to design a morning routine that flexes with your energy levels ✅ The 3 versions of a self-love ritual: “better than nothing,” core, and expanded ✅ Simple tricks to remember and adapt your morning routine without shame ✅ How compassion (not perfection) makes your mornings sustainable Your mornings don’t have to be about discipline or rigidity. They can be a practice of self-love that sets the tone for focus, motivation, and nervous system regulation throughout your day. ✨ If you found this helpful, share it with another ADHD woman who needs support. And don’t forget to subscribe for more strategies that truly fit your brain. #ADHDMorningRoutine #ADHDWomen #ADHDProductivity #NeurodivergentSupport #ADHDLife   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Morning Routines 01:20 Understanding ADHD and Routine Challenges 06:15 The Importance of Compassion and Flexibility 08:37 Creating Your Morning Self-Love Ritual 09:22 Adapting Your Routine to Your Energy Levels 16:43 Tips for Remembering and Maintaining Your Routine 19:09 Conclusion: Embrace Flexibility and Self-Compassion   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.  

Real Talk: Why Fun Feels “Undeserved” with ADHD Many ADHD women live by an unspoken rule: no fun until all the work is done. But with an ADHD brain, the work never ends—and joy, connection, and true rest keep getting pushed further down the list. In this episode, I’m getting real about why fun often feels “undeserved” when you have ADHD, how perfectionism and over-functioning keep you trapped, and why skipping fun is a fast track to burnout. We’ll talk about: • The inner critic and societal expectations that tell you to “earn” rest • Why scrolling isn’t real rest—and how it drains your energy • How fun and creativity actually make you more productive • Practical steps to protect joy on your calendar Fun isn’t just for the weekend or when your to-do list is empty—it’s a key part of living well with ADHD. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way journal-book experience: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/   —CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Find Fun 00:42 Welcome to the Podcast 01:26 The Fun Dilemma for ADHD Women 02:27 Personal Stories and Observations 05:55 The Impact of Societal Expectations 10:23 The Importance of Fun and Creativity 15:21 Practical Tips for Scheduling Fun 20:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement   ✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!   💛 Connect with me on social media! Youtube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/     DISCLAIMER:  This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice.  We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.   If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area.  If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.