The Sexual Wellness Sessions

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, I’m talking to Emma and Gabby from Big Fat Negative Podcast about how trying to conceive, IVF, infertility and miscarriage can impact sex lives and relationships.   After both experiencing their own struggles with infertility Emma and Gabby set up Big Fat Negative to break down the stigma, silence, and taboo around the subject of infertility; and to host conversations and offer advice and information that would help support those who are struggling, whatever their route to becoming a parent.    According to the NHS website as many as 1 in 7 couples may have difficulty conceiving, but it’s uncommon to hear it discussed or see it represented; and many couples suffer in silence and struggle with feeling isolated in their experiences. This conversation is about how sex lives can change over the process of trying to conceive. How sex can move from fun to functional, and from sensual to stressful; and how our definition of sex can change impacting our sexuality, intimacy and relationships.     This episode was sponsored by Love Sleep by This Works. This Works understand the connection between sex, sleep and well-being and as experts in the field of sleep and circadian rhythms, have introduced the Love Sleep range, a series of bedroom solutions with a 100% natural Superblend with Ylang Ylang and Patchouli, designed to enhance levels of relaxation in your evening space and promote intimacy – the antidote to digital hyper connectivity and over stimulation, paving the way for better sleep and better relationships. After using the love sleep pillow spray 1 in 3 users had more intimate moments. Follow Big Fat Negative on Instagram at @bigfatnegative Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Follow This Works on Instagram at @thisworks or to find out more about the Love Sleep range head to the This Works website https://www.thisworks.com/search?q=Love+sleep  

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about erectile dysfunction, why and how it happens and the impact that it can have on men's mental health, sex lives, relationships and wellbeing. My guests, Xander and Angus are cousins who started Mojo Men after a fortuitously long car journey where they opened up to each other about their personal struggles with sex, even though it was something that they had never talked about before. Encouraged by the fact that they were able to have that conversation, and both feeling like they had broken through a barrier, they wanted to create a platform to make sure that more men weren't feeling isolated and alone with their experiences of struggling with erections. Difficulty getting or maintaining erections is a common presentation in psychosexual therapy, and there is such a strong theme to those discussions. Men can often struggle with how they feel about themselves as a man and a sexual person, but also as a partner. Challenges with sex can stop people wanting to date to avoid the risk of trying to having sex and it not going to plan, and the impact of this can have a huge knock on effect on how men and sometimes their partner's feel about themselves. One of the biggest challenges that those struggling with any kind of sexual dysfunction fight is the invisibility of these conditions, and also the lack of mainstream education and discussion about them. The normality of struggling with erections at some point across the lifespan is more expected, than to have full uninterrupted functioning always, and across all situations; but this isn't the message that we are taught; which leaves those struggling with symptoms feeling even more stressed, anxious and confused by what they are going through. There are numerous reasons that someone may be struggling to get or maintain an erection, some health conditions and medications are linked to an increase in occurrence; but our headspace and mental health also plays a huge part and performance anxiety about sexual functioning is a common presentation in psychosexual therapy. Mojo Men want to help change this, and have created a platform that offers expert advice and exercises, a chance to connect with experts like psychosexual therapists, psychologists and men's health physiotherapists, and a forum for men to connect and help each other. Follow Mojo Men on Instagram at @mojo.men Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Find out more about Mojo Men on their website https://mojomen.com/  

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, I'm talking to Franki Cookney about ways of being in relationships, relationship models and non-monogamy.  Franki is in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, and also regularly writes about the topic as a freelance journalist who specialises in sex, relationships and social development. This conversation is not about advocating or criticising a particular model of relationships, but is more about questioning what we have been taught about relationships and exploring ideas about what those different ways of being in relationships might look like for people. As with all these interviews in The Sexual Wellness Sessions series, it's about recognising the uniqueness of each situation and the people in it, and those involved determining what's right for them. We cover communication, what it's like to talk to a partner about opening up your relationship model, managing the admin of having more than one partner, what it's like to be emotionally and/or sexually connected to more than one person, and we talk about some of the different terminologies used in the relationship space and what they mean. This episode was brought to you by Lelo the luxury sex toy brand combining luxury, pleasure and innovation to create sex toys for both solo and couple pleasure; and I am very proud to work with Lelo as their UK Sex Expert Follow Franki on Instagram at @frankicookneyjourno and sign up to her newsletter The Overthinker's Guide To Sex  Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Follow Lelo on Instagram at @lelo_official  and find their amazing range of toys and products at https://www.lelo.com/

Defining Mindful Sex With Dr Lori Brotto In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, the topic of conversation is mindfulness and how it can be helpful for our sex lives. I'm talking to one of the leading experts in this area of research, Dr Lori Brotto who is the director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.   Mindfulness techniques are a common component of therapies like Psychosexual Therapy and are regularly discussed as ways of dealing with anxiety, distraction and low desire when it comes to sex; but many of us don't actually know what it means to be mindful. Arguably mindful sex isn't about physically doing anything differently, but is about changing how we engage with and interact with the sexual experiences that we are having, which can impact how we experience them physically.    In this conversation we cover how mindfulness is defined, challenge some of the commonly held misconceptions, discuss how we can be more mindful, why it's a practice and not something that 'just happens', and the changes that it can create to how we think and feel, not just in sex but in a lot of our lives. Alongside her book Dr Brotto has written over 170 peer reviewed papers, is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada; and is Director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory where research primarily focuses on developing and testing psychological and mindfulness-based interventions for women with sexual desire and arousal difficulties and women with chronic genital pain. Her research has shown the effectiveness of mindfulness; and how this increased awareness can help the body-mind connect with the critical communication that is necessary for sexual arousal.    Dr Brotto's current knowledge translation project is https://www.debunkingdesire.com/  #DebunkingDesire, which uses social media to debunk myths about sexual desire and share findings from the scientific literature on the nature of women's sexual desire. Follow UBC Sexual Health Research on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at @UBCshr Follow Dr Lori Brotto on Twitter at @DrLoriBrotto Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Find out more about Dr Lori Brotto and her work head to https://www.loribrotto.com/

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're opening up the conversation around disability and sex lives; and what the Undressing Disability campaign by charity Enhance The UK is doing to promote the sexual wellbeing of disabled people. Enhance The UK, are a user-led charity, meaning that all of their trainers have impairments themselves. As well as training, they focus on the sexual rights and responsibilities of disabled people. As this conversation will uncover, so many of these important and educational conversations around sex lives and disability aren't happening, and absolutely aren't happening in an open forum. As Jennie and Emily will explain, there are so many barriers to not just helping those with disabilities but also carers, family members, partners and organisations to help disabled people access help and advice for their sex lives and relationships. Without education platforms and help and advice like this, the impact on self-esteem, self-confidence, relationships and wellbeing can be incredibly challenging.  Jennie & Emily are part of the amazing Enhance The UK team who set up the 'Undressing Disability' campaign to support disabled people in having romantic lives that are both safe and fulfilling, and they do this by providing free resources, giving talks at relevant conferences and events, and running their Undressing Disability Hub, the sexy sibling of LinkedIn, and Love Lounge, a Q and A forum that encourages disabled people and their loved ones to write in (anonymously, if they wish) with any questions surrounding love, sex, dating and relationships. The Love Lounge team call themselves the 'non-expert sexperts' and if they don't know the answer, they'll find someone that does! The Undressing Disability campaign will continue until all disabled people are able to have safe, fun and fulfilling romantic relationships. Follow Undressing Disability on Instagram at @undressingdisability Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Find out more about Enhance The UK on their website https://enhancetheuk.org/

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about asexuality and aromanticism with model, writer and activist Yasmin Benoit. We cover the language we use around sexuality, common assumptions, and why Yasmin felt that it was important to open up the conversation and highlight diversity within the asexual community by creating the hashtag #thisiswhatasexuallookslike  According to AVEN ( The Asexual Visibility And Education Network ) the definition of asexuality is someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships; and aromantics are described as not being romantically attracted to or desiring of romantic relationships at all. There are a range of sexual and romantic orientations; but the point that Yasmin makes is that asexuality is often misconstrued and can be quite invisible, which leaves a gap where those wanting to explore and understand asexuality can find themselves represented. In late 2017, Yasmin publicly came out as aromantic-asexual and has since focused on raising awareness for asexuality and aromanticism, and dispelling misconceptions about the identities with the goal of diversifying the fashion industry and became one of the UK's most prominent Black alternative models. We talk about how she understood herself as asexual and aromantic, why many people's assumptions and reality don't match up when they think of asexuality, and why we need to rethink some of our ideas about sex and intimacy; and how although the terms are often used synonymously that they are different concepts. Follow Yasmin Benoit on Instagram at @theyasminbenoit and Twitter at @theyasminbenoit Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Find out more about AVEN at https://www.asexuality.org/

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about post natal sex lives with pelvic health physiotherapist Clare Bourne. Trying to conceive, pregnancy and childbirth can completely change our sex lives, not just from a physical but also a psychological perspective; and many of us have questions about what post natal sex lives should be like, what's 'normal' and what to expect; and this episode aims to answer some of those questions. The pelvic floor muscles play an integral part in a lot of our health, but often the first time we hear about having to take care of them and really pay attention to doing our pelvic floor exercises, is in pregnancy and in preparing for childbirth. Birth, and post natal recovery can look very different for every individual, but understanding our bodies and what might be going on, and how we think and feel about where we are at, can play a big part in us venturing back into our sex lives and sexual intimacy comfortably and confidently. Despite this, much of what we talk about in this episode is often left out of the conversation, which can leave many individuals and couples feeling confused or isolated in what they are experiencing. This conversation is about normalising the changes that you and your body have been through, remodelling our ideas about sex, and getting back to a pain-free and pleasurable sex life that works for you. Clare Bourne is a Pelvic Health Physio who is passionate about helping women with all aspects of pelvic health, with a real interest in helping postnatal mums, and especially those with concerns around post partum sex. She knows first hand the impact of pregnancy and birth, and wants to empower mums in their postnatal journey. This episode was sponsored by The Yes Yes Company, who are leading the revolution in ethical intimacy products. YES products are hypoallergenic and certified organic by the Soil Association, made from ethically sourced plant-based ingredients, without parabens, glycerine or hormones. This makes them ideal for pregnant and postnatal couples looking for natural relief from vaginal dryness brought on by hormonal fluctuations, and can help to restore comfortable sex.  Discover YES products at www.yesyesyes.org/postnatalsex. Use YESKATE15 to claim 15% off your order ( valid until 3rd December 2020 ) Follow Clare Bourne on Instagram at @clarebournephysio Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Follow Yes Organics on Instagram at @yes_organics

In this final episode of Series One of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking all about sex positivity. There was nobody better to unpack this conversation with than the queen of the sex positive space; sex educator and author of Sex Ed : A Guide for Adults, Ruby Rare . We discuss what it means to be sex positive, how to practice sex positivity both emotionally and practically; and we talk about how far we've come, and where we need to get, to create a more sex positive culture. Essentially the theme across this first series of podcast episodes and interviews is about how to help us to be more sex positive. A negative, shame-entwined or uncomfortable relationship with sex is something that shapes so many of our experiences at some point in our lives. And so much of the work done behind the door of the psychosexual therapy room is about reframing sex, to create a a definition of sex which is more inclusive, positive, personalised and accepting. Ruby and I talk about how education, both formal and informal plays an important role in how we understand ourselves sexually; but also how the interactions we have with the world shape our messages and understanding of sex. This was one reason that Ruby explains that she wrote her book, so that we can pull back and think critically about what messages and information we are receiving and internalising, and work out which ones influence us both positively and negatively. Ruby Rare is a queer, non-monogamous, pink-haired sex educator on a mission to get people talking more confidently and inclusively about sex. She's an ambassador for Brook, the UK's leading sexual health charity for young people, co-founder of Body Love Sketch Club, a body positive life drawing class, and when the world is less pandemic-y she runs workshops for adults on porn, pleasure, and non-monogamy. Her debut book Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults is out now. This conversation was brought to you by Ellen Terrie the luxury lingerie and intimate lifestyle brand designed uniquely for women to reclaim their bodies, own their sensuality and feel amazing in their skin. Visit them at  https://ellenterrie.com and get 20% off your next order with code KATEMOYLE20VIP ( Valid until December 31st 2020 )  Follow Ruby Rare on Instagram at @RubyRare Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Follow Ellen Terrie on Instagram at @ellenterrie_official or to find out more about Ellen Terrie head to their website https://ellenterrie.com/

  To kick off the second series of The Sexual Wellness Sessions, we are tackling the topic of stress with the brilliant author of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily Nagoski.     When it comes to our sex lives, we see that stress can impact sex, and sex can both cause and relieve stress. It's both a simple and a complicated relationship that is full of many contradictions.      As a Psychosexual Therapist stress and anxiety are in some way woven into all the conversations that I have; and as humans one of the simultaneous wonders and challenges that we have is metacognition - thinking about thinking. So we don't only deal with the stress response and the stress cycle, but also our thinking about what it means to us and the role it's playing in our lives, which when it comes to sex can become really problematic for some people. Emily and I talk about the stress response cycle, how we can manage stress, the impact of medical interventions, the impact of society and cultural messages, and how we can understand the relationship between stress and sex better.      Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.    https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle     This episode was sponsored by This Works – makers of clean, targeted skincare and wellness solutions - rooted in science and proven to work. Their Love Sleep range is designed to help you to reclaim your bedroom, and is formulated with a 100% natural Superblend of Ylang Ylang and Patchouli to help switch you off and turn you on.  After using the love sleep pillow spray 1 in 3 users had more intimate moments.   https://www.thisworks.com/   Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking all about the sex that we see on stage and screen. My guest for this episode is the brilliant Intimacy Coordinator and Movement Director Ita O'Brien; who has worked on many hit shows, including Sex Education, Normal People, I May Destroy You and It's A Sin.   The ideas and narratives that we pick up about sex and relationships come from multiple sources; but one of the big influential factors in our lives is what we see on screen. TV series and films make up a lot of our downtime, and are a common topic of conversation, and Netflix is now a well-used word in our everyday vocabulary; but what goes into the process and thinking of the sex that we see on screen and how can that impact how we think and feel about sex?   Comparison culture is at an all time high, and many of us feel that what we see when it comes to sex on screen, doesn't ring true when it comes to our own sex lives. On the flipside we have seen the huge success of shows like Normal People, which Ita was the intimacy co-ordinator on. The much-praised intimacy scenes demonstrated communication, fumbling, uncertainty and the 'working-it-out-as-you-go-on' type of sex that many of us experience in their daily lives, and therefore felt was represented.  Ita O'Brien is the UK's leading Intimacy Coordinator and founder of Intimacy on Set. O'Brien pioneered the role of the Intimacy Coordinator and since 2014 has been developing best practice Intimacy on Set Guidelines, which have been widely adopted in the industry and championed by the TIME'S UP movement and others, advocating for safe, fair and dignified work for everyone. O'Brien has worked on numerous high-profile productions including Normal People (BBC3/Hulu), Sex Education 1&2 (Netflix), Gangs of London (Sky Atlantic), The Great (Hulu), I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO), Brave New World (Peacock/Sky One), It's A Sin (Channel 4) and has been widely covered in the national and international media as the leading spokesperson in this space. https://www.itaobrien.com/ This episode was sponsored by iPlaysafe App. Download the free app and order your iPlaySafe Box - a home STI testing kit. Your results will be sent directly your app, along with an iPlaySafe badge verifying your sexual health status. It's then up to you when, with whom, and whether you share it.   https://www.iplaysafe.app/ Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the impact of cancer and cancer treatment on sex lives and relationships. My guests for this conversation are the amazing Brian Lobel and Beth McCann from the organisation Sex With Cancer; which is an art project and community enterprise that looks at innovative solutions to the often-ignored problem of illness, intimacy, sexual function and pleasure. Brian Lobel is an artist who has been working in cancer care and patient advocacy since 2003, after a diagnosis of testicular cancer when he was 20 years old, and he now performs and writes both creatively and academically on the subject of cancer. Beth McCann is a Clinical nurse specialist for young people with cancer with a special interest in sexual health.   Cancer diagnosis and treatment touch all areas of our lives; but sexual wellbeing is not a commonly discussed topic. Often people describe feeling that there is a blind spot around the subject which adds to the challenge of questions, queries, and knowing where to turn for advice. This is exactly what Sex With Cancer as an organisation are trying to achieve. It was launched by people with cancer, for people with cancer for exactly this reason.    The impact of cancer for sufferers and partners is enormous, and can create changes in all areas of our lives physically, emotionally, in terms of self-image and confidence, relationships, psychologically, hormonally and in terms of our identity, and so it's not a surprise then that we see some of that reflected in our thinking, feeling and behaviours when it comes to sex.  Drawing on personal experience, and working with a steering group of advocates and experts in the worlds of sex, sexual health and cancer care, Sex with Cancer aims to develop into a permanent resource where people living with and beyond cancer can access information, practical solutions and products about sex without shame, and with an eye to pleasure, fun and connection.  sexwithcancer.com @SexWithCancer This episode was brought to you by The YES YES Company, producers of natural personal lubricants, vaginal moisturisers and intimate washes.  YES products are hypoallergenic and certified organic by the Soil Association, made from ethically sourced plant-based ingredients, without parabens, glycerine or hormones. This is ideal for cancer patients seeking natural relief from vaginal dryness brought on by cancer treatments, to restore comfortable sex. Discover YES products at https://www.yesyesyes.org/breastcancer/Use YESKATE15 to claim 15% off your order.  @Yes_Organics Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the sexual relationships that we have with ourselves, and the topic of self-pleasure. My guest for this conversation is the fabulous Daisy Buchanan, who is an award winning journalist, author and broadcaster who's new book Insatiable: A Love Story For Greedy Girls, frankly and openly discusses the sexual relationship that Violet, the key character has with herself.  Many of the conversations that we have about sex are focused around partnered sex, when in fact our solo sex lives can play an important role in sexual wellbeing and sexual wellness. Self-pleasure has many documented benefits including self-sex education, learning about your body, the health benefits of orgasm, touch, pleasure and associated neurochemical releases; and being incorporated into self-care and me-time routines. We even have International Masturbation Month which takes place in May, and is widely documented across the media; but despite this it feels like conversations about masturbation and self-pleasure are still de-prioritised or behind those focusing on partnered experiences. Daisy and I unpick why we think that is, why she thinks it's important to include it in her writing, and how she describes herself as a self-pleasure enthusiast. Daisy Buchanan is an award winning journalist, author and broadcaster. She has written for every major newspaper and magazine in the UK, from the Guardian to Grazia. She hosts the chart topping podcast You're Booked, where she interviews legendary writers from all over the world about how their reading habits shape their work, and the acclaimed Daisy Is Insatiable,  an intimate look at love, lust, life, and everything that makes sex fascinating - created to accompany her Times bestselling debut novel, Insatiable: A Love Story For Greedy girls. Her other books include the non fiction titlesHow To Be A Grown Up and The Sisterhood.  Follow Daisy on Twitter @NotRollergirl  & Instagram @thedaisybee   This episode of the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast is brought to you by Daye, the gynae health research and development company raising the standards of female healthcare. Daye is on a mission to bridge the gender gap in medical research and innovation – starting with period pain, which affects 9 in 10 women in the UK. Daye is the creator of the world's first clinically validated, cramp-soothing CBD tampon, developed as a targeted solution for period cramps. They people with periods deserve tampons that are safe for both your body and the environment, which is why Daye tampons are fully sustainable, made with certified organic cotton and sanitised for safety to reduce the risk of TSS.  You can get £5 towards your first tampon box when you sign up to their flexible subscription service with the code 'SWS5'. To learn more about Daye and subscribe, visit www.yourdaye.com.    Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about the topic of sexual diversity and why it's important that we have more understanding around the subject. My guest for this conversation is a world-recognised expert in this space and founder of the organisation Pink Therapy, Dominic Davies.  Gender and sexual diversity is about moving beyond the binary, and explaining how gender and sexuality can be understood along a spectrum. In every society there are dominant narratives about sexuality, gender and sex; and as a result of that there will always be people that don't identify within these often binary ideas, which can present challenges for them.  Dominic and I discuss why it's important to update our understanding around sexuality and gender; how identities can change over the course of our lives, and how all of this can impact our identity, mental health, and how we see ourselves in society. Dominic Davies is a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist and the founder of the organisation Pink Therapy which works with Gender, Sex and Relationship Diverse people both through it's online directory of therapists and through an international online training programme for therapists.  He was recently awarded names as one of "50 Distinguished Gender and Sexual Revolutionaries" in a gala evening commemorating 50 years of sex therapy innovation and research at the University of Minnesota.  https://www.pinktherapy.com/ @pinktherapy_uk Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the huge topic of relationships. We cover how sex can change in relationships and how one of the biggest challenges to our relationships can be our narratives and expectations of them. My guest for this conversation is the brilliant Andrew G Marshall; marital therapist, podcast host and author of twenty books on sex and relationships; including the international best sellers: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' and 'How can I ever trust you again'. Relationships are a theme woven through most of the episodes on this podcast, and it almost feels impossible not to talk about relationships when we talk about sex, and not to talk about sex when we talk about relationships. The biggest questions I get asked as a Psychosexual Therapist are about how and why sex changes, and this is what Andrew and I unpick in our discussion. We talk about where our ideas about relationships come from, why our expectations can set us up to fail, why intimacy and fear can be linked, and why often the hardest thing to do is to let go of control and be vulnerable, but how when we do how it can deepen intimacy and connection. Andrew G Marshall is a marital therapist, author of twenty books, and host of the podcast: The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall - where he interviews guests from all walks of life about what makes life meaningful. He trained thirty five years ago with Relate and leads a team of relationship and psycho-sexual therapists in private practice in the UK; and has his own practice in Berlin.    Follow Andrew on Twitter at @andrewgmarshall   www.andrewgmarshall.com www.couplestherapy.berlin Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing how the process of grieving and loss can impact sex lives and relationships. I'll be having this conversation with the world leading expert, psychotherapist, and author Julia Samuel MBE; who in her book Grief Works said “We seem happy to talk about sex or failure, or to expose our deepest vulnerabilities, but on death we are silent. It is so frightening, even alien, for many of us that we cannot find the words to voice it . . . The pain we feel is invisible, an unseen wound.” Grief and loss are not often held in conversation together with sex, but as a psychotherapist it's something that I often explore in the therapy room. Loss can shake up so much of our lives, change our thinking and our perspectives; and something that Julia often refers to in our conversation is we can't 'not know that loss is possible' once we have experienced it. We discuss the flip side of love being loss, and how for some people their most natural instinct may be to shut down and turn away from intimacy and connection; whereas for others the need to feel, and feel alive may be what they are searching for when they are grieving. We also talk about how we understand mourning, and if we can apply what we know about loss to relationship break ups. Julia Samuel MBE. Msc,  MBACP (Snr Accredited) UKCP Registered Psychotherapist  Julia is a leading UK psychotherapist.  At St Mary's Hospital Paddington, she established the post of  psychotherapist for Paediatrics, where her role for 25 years involved seeing families who have children or babies who die, and where she trained and supported the staff. In 1994 she worked to help launch and establish The Child Bereavement UK, and in 2016 was awarded an MBE in recognition of her services to bereaved children; and in 2017 Middlesex University awarded her an Honorary Doctorate.  In 2017 Julia published Grief Works which was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK and has been published in 17 countries. In March 2020 she published This Too Shall Pass: stories of Change Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings and is also a Sunday Times bestseller. She also hosts the podcast A Living Loss : The Art Of Losing And Finding Yourself. https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram : @juliasamuelmbe Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy