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The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss
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The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

Author: Claire Sandys

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Claire Sandys is on a mission to see if it's possible to find hope in 101 different types of loss and grief (occasionally joined by husband Chris). New ad-free episodes every other Tuesday. With childless (not by choice) hosts, this podcast is packed with deep, honest experiences of grief and hope from inspiring guests. You also get: tips on how to navigate and prepare for loss, blogs, experts, exploring how loss is handled on TV, and plenty of Hermans. For more visit: www.thesilentwhy.com.

203 Episodes
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#113. Life is hectic. Sometimes we simply need to stop for a moment. And that’s what this short episode is all about. Oh, and the beautiful sounds of the Eternal Forest in Wales…Welcome to The Silent Why podcast, here to help you navigate loss and grief, and possibly... find hope. These new, very short, episodes will pop up every now and then to help you take a moment to check in and see how you're really feeling. 7 minutes total, including 2 minutes of time for you and you al...
#112. What is it like doing chaplaincy work on the frontline with the police? Or experiencing the worst humans can do to each other up close?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #56 of 101: Loss in the role of a Police ChaplainMeet Jared Altic, a returning podcast guest who is here to talk to us about what it's like to work as a full-time Pastor, voluntary Police Chaplain...
#111. So, is grief selfish? I mean it's largely about something we're sad about. It's something we've lost or miss. So, is it a selfish thing? Let's open up this can of worms, shall we?!Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If you'd prefer to read it, you can find it here: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/is-grief-selfishI overheard a conversation in a charity shop, and it really made me ch...
#110. Do you find the summer hard, painful, a reminder of things you don't have?Whether you have children, don't have children, go on holiday, don't go on holiday - things do shift a bit in this month, and because of that, things are a bit different at The Silent Why HQ too.Welcome to another episode from me, Claire Sandys, host of The Silent Why podcast. This one is a bit of an update on what's happening over the next few weeks, and why.I've decided to repeat what I did last year and take so...
#109. What if your loved one doesn't have a 'good' death? How do you cope with the trauma of witnessing someone suffer at the end of their life?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.Loss #55 of 101: Loss through a bad/complex deathIn this episode we chat to Kay Backhouse, in Morecombe, Lancashire, about the death of her youngest brother, Syd, to neuroendocrine cancer in 2019.Ka...
#108. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (like this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wande...
#107. Let's Chat... about what day-to-day life is like working in, or visiting, a hospice.Let’s Chat episodes chat to guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Maddy Bass (Director of Nursing) and Kay Backhouse (Clinical Administrator) who both work at St John's Hospice in Lancashire. Maddy has wanted to work with people who are dying all her life and is passionate about her work and providing the best possible care, and...
#106. Ever felt the grip of serious addiction? Drink and drug addictions can destroy life, but what about the person in recovery who's celebrating being 'clean' while also having to accept the loss of the many things ruined by years of misuse? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #54 of 101: Loss through addictionWe're so excited to share this episode, not only is it an episode tha...
BONUS EPISODE TIME!This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.In last week's episode (Loss 53) we spoke to a friend of ours, Laura Burns, about alopecia and coming to terms with the loss of her hair, but she wasn't the only one sat in the podcast studio for that in-person interview.Quietly perched in the corner was husband, Jonathon (a friend of ours, which is how we met Laura in the first pl...
#105. What's it like to suddenly start losing your hair at the age of 22? How open should you be about it when start dating?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #53 of 101: Loss of hair through alopeciaMeet Laura Burns, a social worker for an anti modern-slavery charity, but also a friend of ours who lives in The Black Country. Laura married our friend Jonathon in 2022, and we had ...
#104. What's it like to handle a human heart? Or to operate in that small space between life and death? And is there grief for a surgeon when a patient dies during, or after, surgery? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #52 of 101: Loss of a life for a heart surgeon Meet Mark Field, a cardiac surgeon from Liverpool (in the north of England) who joined me (Claire), in-between commi...
#103. When a close family member dies, like a parent, it's easy to assume there was love there, but what if you're not sure if you loved that person, or even if they loved you, what does grief look like then?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #51 of 101: Loss of a dad ('that I don't know if I loved') And yes, this means that as we've reached Loss 51 - we're officially over halfwa...
#102. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them. So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard (and sometimes Chris!).Welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast). In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Llanfair Talhaiarn Cemetery in North Wales.Come with us to h...
#101. Another milestone reached! We've hit loss number 50 on our mission to explore 101 different types, meaning we only have 51 (!) to go. So we're just half an episode away from being halfway through all 101! In this episode we (Chris & Claire Sandys) pause briefly to discuss the last batch of losses, 41-50, and what nuggets of wisdom we've taken from each guest. We're loving every second of talking to others on this podcast, but we're also learning a lot about healthy ways to pro...
#100. When you lose your dominant arm, what's worse, the emotional toll, or the physical loss? This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to chat about grief and see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #50 of 101: Loss of a left arm and shoulderMeet Stephen Downes from Cornwall, who was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma at the age of 22 when he found a lump in his neck on Christmas Day, 1997. After intensive radiotherapy that seemed to be it, until he felt another lump ...
#099. Here it is again - Mother's Day.As many mum's across the UK will be glowing with pride at the presents their children offer, other women will be wincing a little (or a lot) every time they see these words. Well, as a childless-not-by-choice (cnbc) woman I know how they feel, and I'm here to share how I'm learning to mark it without letting it mark me.This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around loss and grief and to see if hope can be found in 101 diffe...
Are you struggling at the moment? Do you feel lonely in what you're facing? If you answer "yes" then this episode is for you. However, if the answer is "not at the moment" then I also think it's for you too. And if life is just peachy keen right now, then you might still want to lean in, to be able to help those around you who are finding life tough.Welcome to another My Why from Claire Sandys (co-host of The Silent Why podcast). My Why episodes are audio versions of my latest blog post. If y...
#098. Let's Chat... about the amazing part that colour can play at a funeral. Let’s Chat episodes are with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss. In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to the very lovely Jen Watson, a Funeral Celebrant in Kent. I first heard about Jen on our Funeral-Director-Work-Experience trip to North Wales. Back then she was known as Jen Wilkinson, but now she has a new name, a new patch to work on, and it was great to finally connect with her...
#097. When someone dies in hospital there's the loss of a patient, but there's also the grief of the family, so how does dealing with that grief differ, depending which side you're on?This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss.Loss #49 of 101: Loss in an Emergency DepartmentIn this episode, you'll meet two guests, each telling their side of the story about the death of a patient after emergen...
Many years ago, in 2021, The Silent Why podcast launched with one specific last question it wanted to ask all its 101 loss guests - What's your Herman?Since then, it's been an exciting journey collecting Hermans (answers to this question). However, this year, in January 2024, I launched The Herman Company and all of a sudden (after a year of hard work!) Hermans became a real thing. So, how and why did all this come about exactly? Well, that's what this episode is going to tell you. Welco...
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