The Slumflower Hour

Do looks really matter? Should we 'dress for men'? Is it considered 'unfeminist' to use your beauty as leverage? We cover all these questions in this episode, where The Slumflower dives into beauty as a tool - and whether feminism is helping or hindering our journeys towards the lifestyles we desire... (Disclaimer: the use of weed as an example in this episode, is in no way a promotion of its use!) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you 'owe' men sex for a cocktail? Does the 'gold digger' label scare you away from being upfront about your needs? Are you playing to win or are you playing to be fair? In this episode, join Chidera as she dilutes your fears of asking men for things, and chats through the ridiculousness of male entitlement! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you trying to find the firmness in your voice? Or are you worried you might be a bit too blunt? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through the ways we can all be a little stricter without flying off the rails - and why there's nothing scarier to a man, than a woman who is pissed off and relaxed about it... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel bad about dating selfishly? Does the idea of 'using' a man make you feel guilty? Is it exploitative to date men with your best interest at the forefront? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses her favourite ways to exploit men in a world where they systemically and interpersonally exploit women every single day... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you convinced yourself you're stuck with that man? Is he really the best you can do? Why do you even keep giving him chances? In this brief and funny episode, join The Slumflower as she talks through the lies we tell ourselves to cling onto these men who have passed their expiry date in our lives... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the pressure on to start a family? Feeling broody? Or maybe even experiencing that FOMO feeling as everyone around you is starting to have babies? You are not alone! In this episode, join Chidera as she talks about why you don't need to have kids just because you want to...and the ways we can all show up in a maternal role without having to commit to parenthood *cough cough* shout out to the aunties! NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a first born daughter who has been plagued by the perpetual sense of responsibility...even over the men you date? Has your first born daughter status evolved into a saviour complex? Do you feel like you need to be useful in order to be loved? Dear first born daughters, this one is for us! In this episode, join Chidera as she muses and reflects on her life and upbringing as a first born daughter - and how this has actually empowered her to be stern, bold and fearless in her self-advocacy when dating men. NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man? Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES) Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men? However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how best to date Nigerian men to enjoy the best of them and avoid the worst of them... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave? Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back? Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect? If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who simply won't learn her bloody lesson... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is... Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW at Leicester Square Theatre, London Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work? Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires! Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon! If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you fantasise about him coming back? Do you tend to develop limerence for men who leave you? Do you allow yourself to feel your anger in full? If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode might hit home. Join The Slumflower as she discusses why you should test men, why you need to stop 'healing' and why it's totally okay that you might not meet 'the one'. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you an 'understanding girlfriend' who can't quite seem to get the words out when you're annoyed at him? Have you decided what your non-negotiables are in what you'll tolerate from a guy? Are you a 'free spirit' or are you giving your power away to men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she plots out smooth and non-aggressive ways to be more assertive in the presence of men, while maintaining your authentic personality - plus a very saucy South of France storytime...involving a yacht ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So what's the fuss around dating providers? Why are women scared to date selfishly? Why do we slut-shame women who are upfront about their requirements of men who want to sleep with them, whilst we uphold and celebrate the women who settle 'in the name of love'? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the concept of men being providers - and why we shouldn't let 'feminism' stop us from having our own cake and eating it too...just like the men do! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do men deserve their loneliness? Do women make too many excuses for men? Can women develop the willpower to abstain from sexual and emotional reliance on men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the 'male loneliness epidemic' - and why we should all let men deal with this matter by themselves... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you. In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where is the line drawn between leadership and control? Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description? Why do women seek such traits in men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU? In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices