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The Story Must Be Told

Author: The Last Podcast Network

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Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a church service. Every other Tuesday, join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista to worship the Story—handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh huh. Start with any episode—the Story is waiting for you!

TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. All stories written by Pastor Andrew and Brother Reid. Production and original music by Carl Schroeder. Twitter, Instagram: @TSMBTpod
185 Episodes
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We've got some BIG NEWS for all of you congregants courtesy of Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew, so if you're curious as to what's happening with TSMBT, it might be best to tune in now! We love and cherish each of you and remember - THE STORY WILL BE TOLD! ACTION BOYS: https://youtu.be/2DkqRs5TZhU PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt GOODNIGHT MY LOVE BOOK: https://a.co/d/gNjHAOM
Two outcasts are excluded even from apocalypse and must navigate a changed world. If there is truth to be found it is in each other. Return to where your Story began so it may now end. Guest Preachers: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist) Steve O’Brien (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy, Xmas Futures short films christmasfutures.com) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, IG @jackthatworm) Announcements Velvet: THE LEAST OF CHIMPS Devon: THE AWAKENING Velvet: FLESH PILES Devon: FATHER Velvet: THE HIDING MAN Devon: ALONE PARADISE RISING EPILOGUE That’s it! For THIS SEASON. Some bonus episodes coming while you wait for season 2, plus MORE: a novella (already out!), a novel, and an album. See you soon! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com GOODNIGHT MY LOVE BOOK NOW ON SALE: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/book/1144436977
A child suffers mute the unutterable horrors of our past. Every step forward is a descent. Trust no family or institution that worships the god of your destruction. Guest Preacher: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; current VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist and Skulk, The Hulking) Featuring: Marcus Parks, Ed Larson, Holden McNeely, Jackie Zebrowski Curtain Call Liturgical Reading: “Day for Night” The Chalmsening One episode left before our break to switch into seasons! The last one will be a gosh darn doooooozy PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
I’m a BIG SHOT at my job. I belong to an ELITE group of people who make work their ENTIRE identity. My testicles are made out of BRASS and I have NO outside relationships. What IS my job? Oh, I torture a big fucking worm. If I don’t do it someone else will! Featuring: Holden McNeely as the Taurus Salesman, Priest Ed Larson as Announcer, Man in Coat Jackie Zebrowski as Tomsha Mounting Cro-Crotoa The Story Must Be Told Clip Show Liturgical Reading: “The Fool and the Worm” The Price of Killing Chalms Two more episodes left before our break to switch into seasons. We’re hard at work on the new format and KNOW you’ll love us EVEN MORE. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
YUCK. GROSS. I don’t care how we’re related, family member! You aren’t family no more after what you did nuh UH. You’re what my family calls a hot sloppy “turd,” and I’m gonna scrape you off my boot. How did you become such a humble bootscraping? Uh, through CHANGES, bucko. Featuring: John Moreno as Dr. Greene Betsy Winchester-Parks as Katherine and the Lawyer Andrew Yackira as Doug and Mark Sailor Talk The Nature of Cro-Crotoa Liturgical Reading: “Changing. Do You See?” Parting Words Tune back in two weeks from now for the antipenultimate episode of the season! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
Some islands are SCARY—like Nantucket. Other islands will steal your very essence, halve it, and merge it with other unwitting victims—like Nantucket. THIS island? Shhhhh it’s a seeeecccreeeeettttt. Guest Author: Katherine Monasterio (author of The Age of Windpower) The Winners of the Big Surf Competition Are… The Switch Liturgical Reading: “Beneath the Compass Rose” The Return of a Familiar Face An Announcement Changes are coming! And a new Story TOO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
Oh bother, I’m a silly old bear. It’d be a SHAME if I were to MEET MY DEMISE. I hope nothing bad happens to me and my ragtag group of interspecies friends! Nothing that could stop us from loving that BOY. Oh bother! Confronting Chalms Chalms’ truth: “The Many Adventures of Chalmstopher Robin” The Public Domain A Prophecy Bags Packed Gosh oh golly what’s gonna happen next? I don’t even know! T-t-tune in NEXT TIME I’ll be different. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
Your father is watching you, and he’s SHAKING his HEAD. What did you do to deserve such a practical assessment? Did you follow your dreams? Probably! Nothing cheeses a dad like the passion of progeny. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, @jackthatworm on Instagram) Guest Author: Libbie Grant (Future Saint of a New Era podcast) Invocation Pastor Andrew’s Changes Liturgical Reading: “God’s Hotel” The Extent of Chalms If I could, I would pick you up and carry you to two weeks from now, so you could bask in a new, Chalmserific episode. Instead: you must WAIT. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com BROTHER REID ART: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ReidFarts
WOOOOSH! Kaboom! “I gotta fly this big bird REALLY fast!” Wow, aren’t airplanes neat? Gosh, what CAN’T the military-industrial complex do? If there’s anything, I don’t wanna know. Fly a jet into my eye and pop it out my heart, so I die filled with AIRPLANE. Inside Devon’s coma Liturgical Reading: “Cardinal Ed in Top Gunners: Mad Rich” A prophecy PROFOUND We return two weeks from now with a Story for your eager ears to gulp up like a hot hot soup. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com BROTHER REID ART: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ReidFarts
Look! A shooting star! Close your eyes and make a wish. Are you doing it? Good … good. What’s that? It feels like someone is stealing your wallet? Shh shh, that’s just the wish doing its thiiing. Hush, child, and next time: remember to carry CASH, baybeeeee. Wishes from Congregants Brother Reid’s Wish: “Truthy Truthy” More Wishes for Cheddar-Tossin ‘Grants Pastor Andrew’s Wish: “Bigger” WAGE-A-WISH HERO OF THE CENTURY: Erica! Devon’s “Wish”: “United States of Wishing” Concluding Remarks In two weeks a familiar friend will return to WOW us with some high octane Story deeds. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
It’s always the BOY! The BOY the BOY the BOY! Behind the curtain? The BOY! Under the floor? The BOY! Hiding inside your mouth, yanking on your tongue and poking your tonsils? THE BOY. The only thing better than HIM is a free trial of the new, very real TSMBT Silver Streaming+! It’s the future of content! Featuring: Henry Zebrowski (Last Podcast on the Left) as THE BOY Ed Larson (Brighter Side) as interviewer and paramedic 911 Call Liturgical Reading: The Boy: Omega Rising - A TSMBT Silver Streaming+ Free Trial! The Departure of the Paramedics Tune in a couple weeks from now for a new Are You Afraid of the Story! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com
Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx In this, the 6th and final part of Goodnight My Love, we finally say Goodnight … but to WHOM? My Love? Be honest: why are you even reading the episode description? Huh, Chester? You KNOW what the deal is. Just honk on in, ya goob! Featuring: MJ Knefel (Page 7) Steve O’Brien (xmas futures) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Betsy Winchester (Murderfist, The Dog The Boy) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC Invocation An Unfortunate Turn for Cedric Liturgical Reading: Goodnight My Love 6 Conclusion We return in a couple weeks with something decidedly different. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx No one ever talks about what religion aliens are. Is it Protestant? I bet a lot of them are Methodists. If I met an alien, I’d ask it two questions: 1) are you receptive to internalizing shame? 2) have you heard the good word of the Story? Goodnight My Love continues with TEEN SAM. Nothing wrong can happen in a Catholic school! Content warning: self harm, Catholicism. Featuring: MJ Knefel (Page 7) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC Invocation MORE CEDRIC MORE CEDRIC MUCH MORE CEDRIC Liturgical Reading: Goodnight My Love 5 Concluding CEDRIC The series concludes in two weeks with part 6. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx Grandmas and Grandpas will give you a Bible and then YELL at you. Can’t trust a Grandma to buy the right Cro-Croa, can’t ask a Grandpa to turn off the TV. Ughh, but sometimes: you need ‘em. Today, we return to the Goodnight My Love series for the first of three concluding parts. Listen to parts 1-3, episodes 103, 118, and 119 respectively, to catch up and ENJOY. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) MJ Knefel (Page 7) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC! Invocation CEDRIC Liturgical Reading: Goodnight My Love 4 Concluding Remarks The series continues in two weeks with part 5. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Wowee wow wow! Is it the false holiday already? Gosh oh fuck, what a blesséd surprise! Join the clergy as we goof and gab our way through the falsest holiday of them all, with nary a commercial or six! That's right, the 522 Club has for THIS EPISODE dropped its patreon veil and is blooming in every ear far n wide OK??? We’ll have a buncha new episodes SOON in the new year. If you even DARE doubt me I will CUSS at you. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
161. In Violet Light

161. In Violet Light

2022-12-1635:06

It’s always raining here. The rain will soak you cold, but it is your task that will break you. Freedom is trapped inside the box, and it is everything outside that is a prison. Invocation Petitions Liturgical Reading: “In Violet Light” Concluding Remarks We’ll have a special lil loosey goosey holiday special for ya in a couple weeks. Return! MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
160. Plunk!

160. Plunk!

2022-11-2523:52

Witness as Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew pitch their hot new film experience: Plunk! Is this their big break? Is the church done for? What does it sound like when a battery leaves a human colon? Listen to find out! Meeting Mr. P.P. Brothers “Plunk!” Concluding Remarks In two weeks, tune in for whatever is to FOLLOW. Stock music from Envato.com is used in this episode. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
159. Rakija

159. Rakija

2022-11-0832:32

There are photos of you lost in a drawer, floating in a liminal space, waiting to be seen. You will recognize the face but not the scene, know your age but not the year. Our past is a secret; it is better to pray for loss than for revelation. Invocation Brother Reid’s Big News Liturgical Reading: Rakija Departure Come back in two weeks, and witness our big meeting with Mr. P. P. Brothers! Gosh, maybe we’ll MAKE IT BIG. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Curiosity killed no cat—it was POISON. That rotten child, that BOY did it. His face is every child’s face Miss Paker will see, as she instructs the children in the Truth of her Lord. Guest Preacher: Julie Rosing (www.ineedana.com) Invocation Children’s Awards Liturgical Reading: Miss Paker’s Cats Closing, Disrobing Fourteen days are required for the Story to regenerate and birth again. Check in and cherish what we spew for youuuu nexxxttttt POSTER: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
An Intruder has intruded upon the livestock, a malefactor produced by dining on death. Yearn for it. Search the brains for its presence, not unlike a gold panner. Yup, real gooey labor, but rewarding. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Invocation Petitions for Patreon Congregants True Liturgical Reading: An Intruder Invoked Closing, Disrobing In two weeks we will come again to deliver you another profound truth! Or some weird shit. Either/or! POSTER: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt BROTHER REID ART: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ReidFarts
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Comments (15)

Connor Rosa

Out of all 34 episodes this is the one that truly disturbed me. I had actual trouble getting through it. Compared to other episodes it's not gory or disturbing in a visceral way but the disgust I felt while listening to it was intense. Great episode and really evoked a feeling of anguish in me.

Feb 12th
Reply

Amir

why no comments?🤔🧐

Oct 10th
Reply

Strider Complex

THE STORY MUST BE TOLD, PRAISE BE THE STORY.

Jun 15th
Reply

KunnyBoi

this one was annoying to get through.

Jul 4th
Reply

KunnyBoi

Lunatic babble. Excellent, welcome to the network!

Jun 26th
Reply

Dane Holding

Don't listen to Dylan, he's full of shit. Keep going forever. The Story Must be Told!

Jun 14th
Reply

Jason Weatherford

the music was distracting

May 29th
Reply

gavin mclain

Oh sweet Marcus with your tight little brown, thine drawl spins a fine yarn.

May 20th
Reply

Jamey

first episode I've listened to and wtf is this bullshit? what is going on? this isn't interesting. I can make up random bullshit too. I don't get it

May 10th
Reply (1)

Steven Montelius

I grew up near THE Kettering kroger.

Apr 11th
Reply (1)

Alex Aronsky

well, what can I say, this is one hell of a show, sounds like the kind of shit I do in my secret blog for the past decade, is there any way I can get to tell a story that must be told?

Feb 18th
Reply

Lisa Lawson

10 NEON 20.18. GOD

Jan 18th
Reply

Alex Alexis

my jigglies are wiggled after every episode, so much so that i must bind my hands at all times to keep me from ripping my member clean from my pelvis. it has taken me three days to type this comment of praise

Jun 4th
Reply
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