The Trina Glines Podcast - Love on Purpose: Your Part in a Happily Ever After

In this podcast episode, Trina Glines discusses the importance of allowing wives to express their feelings and emotions without trying to fix them. She emphasizes the need for husbands to listen, understand, and validate their wives' feelings, rather than dismissing or minimizing them. Trina provides practical tips for husbands to support their wives emotionally, such as asking open-ended questions, maintaining eye contact, and providing feedback during conversations. She also highlights the importance of setting boundaries and finding a balance between sharing feelings and overwhelming the husband. Overall, the episode aims to help husbands create a supportive and understanding environment for their wives.

In this conversation, Trina Glines discusses how women can loose themselves after time in a relationship and family life. And what this looks like. She coined the term the intense woman, after going through her own journey to increase the happiness in her own marriage and life. She discovered the intense woman is created through misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentments. Women often compare themselves to the perfect version of themselves and expect their husbands to live up to that standard. However, men have a different language and way of thinking, which can lead to miscommunication and frustration. Trina emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting these differences in order to have a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Trina Glines shares a hilarious and relatable story about dealing with a puppy mishap and how it taught her valuable lessons in marriage. She delves into the importance of listening, understanding, and validating your partner, offering practical tips to navigate everyday challenges. Tune in for a fun and insightful discussion on transforming communication in your relationship! Here are six key points for using "Heard, Understood, and Validated" (HUV) as the way you listen: Seek Full Attention: Before starting the conversation, ensure that the other person is fully available to listen. Politely ask if it’s a good time to talk and ensure they are not distracted. Choosing to Listen, Understand, and Validate: Engage fully with the speaker by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using verbal affirmations. Remember, this is not about fixing anything but being there for the person. Your role is to offer support and presence, not solutions. Reflective Responses: Paraphrase or summarize what the speaker has said to ensure you have accurately heard their message. This shows that you are not only listening but also comprehending their words. Empathy and Understanding: Express empathy by acknowledging the speaker’s feelings and experiences. Use phrases like “I understand how you feel” or “That sounds really challenging” to convey genuine understanding. It’s okay for a person to feel what they are feeling, and it’s the listener’s job to not fix or dismiss those feelings because they may be uncomfortable dealing with them. Validation of Feelings: Validate the speaker’s emotions by affirming their right to feel the way they do. Clarify that validation does not mean agreement, but rather acknowledging their experience. Statements like “It’s okay to feel upset about this” or “Anyone would feel the same in your situation” can be very affirming without implying agreement. Avoiding Judgment and Solutions: Focus on listening without immediately jumping to conclusions or offering solutions. Sometimes, simply being heard and validated is more important than finding a fix to the problem at hand. These practices help create a supportive and trusting environment, fostering deeper connections and more meaningful communication. Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trinaglines/

Welcome back to the podcast! I'm Trina Glines, and I'm thrilled to catch you up on everything that's been happening. After a brief hiatus due to some health challenges, I'm excited to reconnect and share new insights. During my time away, I've been deeply involved in one-on-one coaching, including coaching men, and I'm eager to launch a new men's program soon. In this episode, I discuss the exciting updates coming to Taming Jane Academy and the reason behind renaming the podcast to "Love On Purpose." We'll dive into the concept of loving on purpose and what it means to take an intentional approach in your relationships. We'll explore: The importance of focusing on your part in a partnership. Understanding that we have different love languages and how they impact your relationship. Practical tools and skills to apply immediately for greater peace and joy in your marriage. Whether you're new to the podcast or a long-time listener, this episode is packed with valuable information to help you build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Join me as we embark on this journey together, learning to love on purpose and create our happily ever after. Tune in and start transforming your relationship today!

Do you ever struggle to get your needs met? Maybe you wonder what your needs even are? Guess what you are normal - you are a woman! We are natural givers and adapters. We will instinctively take care of others first before we take care of ourselves. We struggle to ask for help because we feel we have discovered the most efficient way to accomplish all that needs to be done. And then we wonder why the heck we are so exhausted. You are human which means you have needs. Today I share with you 5 steps to help you get your needs met. This will increase your ability to be the incredible giver and adapter you are! This will help you to give from a full well instead of being sucked dry. Releasing being in control of everything is so FREEING!   Life is meant to be enjoyed not just survived. You are an incredible woman who has so much to offer the world. Take a moment today to learn how you can increase your happiness in your life by honoring your needs.

Did you know that "all the research agrees that a stable, loving relationship is the absolute cornerstone of human happiness and general well-being"? Dr. Sue Johnson (Love Sense) And did you know YOU ARE NORMAL if this doesn't naturally happen in your marriage? None of us were taught all we need to know to create a secure attachment with our spouse. Do you even know what that means? For over 20 years I had no idea! I am SO GRATEFUL for the learning journey I have been on! It has changed my marriage! And what I have learned is it is a work in progress for us all! This is GOOD NEWS! Today I share an interview with Geoff Steurer LMFT. He is trained and certified in Dr. Sue Johnson's couples therapy; Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Do yourself a favor, and listen to this interview! It is AMAZING! Most of us weren't given the tools to maneuver through this messy thing call marriage. But we can choose to LEARN tools! That is how we will work on creating a secure bond with the person we have chosen to spend our life with! (I believe eternity) It is SO WORTH IT! 

This journey called marriage is far from a one-direction highway. You have two imperfect people coming together trying to maneuver through this messy thing called marriage.  At times it is fun and so rewarding, other times it's hard, and many times it feels relentless. The choice we make at the crossroads will make all the difference in our happiness and our marriage. Today I talk about crossroads and the 3 options we have when we hit a crossroad in our marriage. I discuss why people fall out of love. Why marriages end. And how most affairs happen. I also share how we can avoid those things by choosing to turn right! I invite you to join me in turning right! Listen to this podcast and set yourself up for success!

Valentines Day is coming up! And did you know that Valentines is the most unliked holiday by husbands? There are often expectations they struggle to meet. Which leaves you disappointed and him asking, "why did I even try?"  Birthday's, Anniversary's, and Holiday's can often bring on those unmet expectations!  Today I want to set you up for success by setting your man up for success! I share what you can do to ensure you and your man have a successful celebration.  Have you ever considered letting your man know what you would like on on these special days? Unfortunately ladies, we often fall to the thinking that if he really knows me and loves me he will know what I like. This is incorrect thinking. He can NOT read your mind. He works differently than you do.  You sharing with him what makes you feel loved and adored on these special days sets him up to win, which means you win too!

"Some things in life can't be fixed. They can only be carried." Megan Divine Some people say that life won't give you more than you can handle. I actually don't believe that fully. There have been lots of times that I've had things I couldn't handle on my own, and it took another to help me. Have you ever struggled to know what to say or do for someone who is experiencing an incredible amount of suffering? Have you ever struggled to find the right words, or know how you can help? Today I interview Todd Olson, an LCSW who shares with us the heart-wrenching experience individuals have when they lose a child.  He shares with us what we can do to comfort and love those who live this nightmare. He also shares with us what doesn't help. What not to say. I felt what he shared is applicable to many situations that we might find ourselves in while trying to support others. He also validates what you are feeling if it's you experiencing the trauma.  I want to thank Todd for sharing with us his own personal experience of losing his son, and what he has learned. I hope this interview will help us all to know how we can better support and love those who are suffering from a loss or an intense trial.  To contact Todd Olson: https://www.lifestartherapy.com/

Marriage is different once you have kids, would you agree? Raising a family requires a lot of sacrifice from both husband and wife. But do we need to sacrifice our marriage relationship also? I don't believe we do. It will be different than before children, but it can also be even better. Our children will bring us our greatest joy and greatest challenges and frustrations. All the more reason to put your marriage at the top of your priorities so together you can enjoy the happy - joyful moments and hold each other up during the challenges times. Today I share ideas on how you can nurture your marriage while raising your family. It is so important to remember that the two of you came first. Life and the kids will scream louder and demand more of your attention, but you can still give quality attention to your marriage. As you keep nurturing this life long union (I believe eternity) you are giving your kids the greatest gift you will EVER give them - parents that love each other.

Sometimes we can find ourselves stuck in a rut. What we are doing isn't working, but we struggle to do anything different. We often end up blaming others around us for our unhappiness or frustrations. When really we need to be taking a look on the inside. Today on my podcast I share an interview with Ryan Michler. Through his own personal story, he learned the value of owning his own part.   He shares, "Has your attitude or thought process or actions produced the desired outcome you want? If the answer is no, you probably ought to consider doing something a little different." He now helps men do the same in their own lives. His story is inspiring for all. His passion to help others increase their happiness and success in their life is so needed today! We each only have control over ourselves, but we have an incredible amount of influence on others.

If you are human, chances are you struggle at times with the negative narrative in your head. This voice is always keeping us in the deficit. Everything is past due. It constantly is comparing us and others to a "perfected" version, that doesn't even exist. And this voice is SO good at assumptions. You can call this voice all different names, I call her The Intense Woman. She is constantly trying to interfere in my life! I am so grateful I have learned how to tame her! Kick her to the curb where she belongs. Actually, I kick her further than that! I encourage you to do the same! Today I share how I have been able to get rid of this negative narrative, The Intense Woman in my head! It is a daily battle, but it gets easier now that I know where she comes from and her purpose! She is NUTS! My life is SO much better without her! And so will yours be. It does take effort and practice, and most likely we will be fighting her off for the rest of our lives, but the more we notice her, and kick her away, the less she will show up!

LIFE often is our greatest teacher. Each one of us goes through experiences that test and try us. Some experiences are more painful than others, but each brings with it a level of new understanding and new growth. Allowing us to become a better version of ourselves. The lessons life teaches us, really can lead us to a better version of us. Today my interview is with MamaBear.Fitness. Ashlyn Mitchell shares her powerful personal story of betrayal trauma. Ashlynn and her husband have opened their lives to share with others the process of recovering from sex addiction and the betrayal that comes with it. Their story also includes their two daughters being sexually molested by someone they trusted. What I loved about this interview is that the lessons and strengths Ashlynn learned are ones that can be applied to each one of us in our own lives. You or a loved one do not have to be suffering from an addiction to benefit from the lessons Ashlynn shares with us. Ashlynn is now a personal coach who helps others live healthier lives mentally and physically. I applaud Ashlynn and her husband for being open about their story so that others have the opportunity to learn from them. So many things Ashlynn shared in this interview have changed the way I think daily. I admire her and her ability to articulate her self-reflection so well. LIFE is very real and life can be really hard. Life also has the ability to teach us our greatest lessons that will help us become a better version of ourselves. Our greatest growth will often come from our hardest lessons. Thank you MamaBear.Fitness for sharing your powerful message and for being an example of one who has chosen to live with intention.

"The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals." Melodie Beatie I share with women all the time, YOU are the author of your love story. I am so excited for 2019! It's going to be a wonderful year! I would like to invite you to join me with setting some marriage goals. We often set health goals, financial goals, work goals and when we're going to wake up goals, but what about marriage goals? Without a happy, fulfilling marriage, all these other goals mean nothing! Today on my podcast I share 10 marriage goals for the New Year. You can choose to use one of them or all of them! Whatever you do though, include your marriage in your New Year goals/resolutions. This is the MOST important area in your life you can focus on! (I released my podcast early since Monday is New Year's Eve)

The holidays can often NOT bring out the best in us. We, women, are multi-task alerted beings, aware of everything going on around us at all times. Most everything is in past-due mode and our to-do list is always growing. And the holidays seems to add so much more to our already overflowing schedule. Which often will bring a level of intensity out of us that we really don't want any part of! The Intense Woman is a REAL being, and she makes our life and all those around us miserable. Kick her to the curb where she belongs! Today's podcast I share 5 ways we can keep The Intense Woman away during this next week. I released my podcast early since Monday is Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas to all you incredible women out there that make this world a better place! I hope you all are able to enjoy this time with your families!

In celebration of our 28 year anniversary this past Saturday, my man joined me to share our love story. We may have had a few hiccups but it makes for a great story to tell! Marriage is two imperfect people coming together and creating awesome IMPERFECTNESS! And boy did I test out the imperfectness! Enjoy and I hope we make you laugh today!

My interview today is with J. Parker, an author, and blogger. She also has her masters in counseling. J. is passionate about helping couples connect sexually. She also brings humor into this sometimes uncomfortable subject. She is hilarious! She brings a fun aspect to learning how to own our part in our sex lives. She discusses 4 ways that we can increase our happiness in our sex life. I really enjoyed my visit with J. I am so grateful for women like her that are sharing a positive message about intimacy in marriage! You can visit her website at www.hotholyhumorous.com/. She is the author of 4 books; Hot, Holy and Humorous, Intimacy Revealed, Under the Mistletoe; A Short Christmas Story and Behind Closed Doors; Five Marriage Stories.

A respectful wife is a wife who enjoys feeling adored. Today I chat about respecting our man. Why we should and what it looks like. Showing respect to our man changes EVERYTHING! As women, we often don't realize we are being disrespectful because we don't relate to respect the same as our man does. Understanding how your man feels disrespect and respect will set YOU up for success! Choosing to listen to this podcast means you are wanting to be intentional in your marriage! I applaud you!!

Did you know that men and women have different relationships to their needs? Not understanding this can really cause some problems in a marriage! Do you ever wonder how your man can fall asleep anytime - anywhere? What about when your man is hungry, what does he do? Finds food by chance? When you are tired what do you do? When you are hungry what do you do? The differences in our relationship to our needs are pretty much opposite! Men have an immediate and intense relationship with their needs. Women, don't have a relationship with their needs. This can make a woman feel like her man is being selfish because women will instinctively take care of others first. Which can cause problems as well. Understanding this difference can really help you out! You are able to let go of assumptions and stop comparing your man to a version of you. As well as learn how to get your needs met so you can give from a full well. It is a game changer!

I am a FIRM believer we are meant to enjoy this crazy thing called life. But being human means it opens us up to challenges that can prevent us from finding that joy! Have you ever felt your humanness hold you back? You are not alone. Today is part 2 of my conversation with therapist Bruce Boetcher on anxiety. I am so grateful for individuals that choose to help others create a better way to live. Today Bruce shares with us: -Self-care -Why is anxiety growing? -Does cognitive behavioral therapy help with anxiety? -Circumstantial anxiety -Helping kids with anxiety -Proactive approaches