The Upshot

On the pod today: the F1 boss knobbing girls 48 years younger, this year’s funniest deadline day news and Luis Suarez gobs in someone’s face again.Spice up your sad desk lunch with 20% off delicious award winning hot sauces: lousbrews.co.uk/upshot20Links from the pod:Vardy violin pic: https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/pabaeCod8Cvi_mWFyRTloA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTQyNztjZj13ZWJw/https://media.zenfs.com/en/football_italia_articles_132/bea3e4aa80f1477911f24dc0048ca0c3 Claudia the twerking champ: https://www.instagram.com/claudia.redheaded_babe/Isak in Newcastle: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GzsbDPqWYAAbH5s.jpgAmorim asked about Tom Heaton: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1772990183581519Suarez spits on Sounders coach: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1n5cy6k/luis_suarez_spits_at_a_seattle_sounders_staff/Miami v Sounders fans brawl: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1n5s9eg/inter_miami_supporters_brawling_with_sounders/Usyk haircut: https://i.redd.it/0q70lcl60tp71.jpg Usyk dancing: https://x.com/DAZNBoxing/status/1960648484266369106Briatore kissing ex-gf:https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/NINTCHDBPICT000538361485.jpg?strip=all&w=640Briatore frolicking with models on boat: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/formulaone/article-15045999/Flavio-Briatore-flirting-young-women-bikinis.htmlUS Open hat thief: https://twitter.com/DonLew87/status/1961479710946292124Get those sordid rumours right now when you sign up to our Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a parallel universe, England’s World Cup winning gaffer Sir Sam Allardyce is sipping a pint of Moet at the launch of his Allardici aftershave. But back in this reality, things panned out a little differently for Big Sam.He fed his players sheep’s testicles, had love triangles with snooker stars and got banged up for shoplifting.From kung fu kicks in the manager’s office to losing £100k on crypto, this is his story…With comedian Ed Jones @edjonesukGet an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersListen to Ed’s BBC comedy: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002gm52/episodes/player Links from the pod:Big Sam looking like Harry Styles: https://share.google/images/IzJxmUm7hmMZ9pBld Sam on his wedding day: https://share.google/images/shCmBQRTV8VWUw3L7 Cheryl Cole outfit: https://x.com/sportbible/status/824023930906312706 Dancing to Rihanna in Marbella: https://x.com/TNLdotcom/status/736910495312171009 Pint of wine photo: https://share.google/images/qM74H97G7yU0xOxst “There nobody better than me” interview at Leeds: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rlgJAStXV10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the pod today: Neymar’s terrifying showdown with the ultras and Roberto De Zerbi breaks up a ten minute street fight.Links from the pod:Newcastle fans booing Liverpool players: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1mzy00n/liverpool_met_with_loud_boos_from_newcastle/Wrestler unveils Liverpool Isak shirt: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1mzfpmt/professional_wrestler_jd_mcdonagh_making_fun_of/?utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=defecating-revellers&_bhlid=ce087e2a2ebe050607427cff0f65a1e00619eeb1Granit Xhaka unveiling interview: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FgFwGwIiphAJoleon Lescott DJing: https://x.com/EPLBible/status/1959970121243381927Neymar touchline row: https://x.com/TNTSportsBR/status/1948217960239132716 Neymar crying after 6-0 defeat: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1mt2sgc/neymar_cries_after_santos_60_defeat_to_vasco_da/ Ultras surround Santos squad: https://x.com/deolhonopeixe/status/1957877826939465904 David de Manchester supporting Rayo: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1mx3ddh/rayo_vallecano_had_one_fan_supporting_them/From knob flashing presidents to dolphin shaggers, listen to the funniest stories in the news right now when you sign up to our Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5.12am. Former TV presenter Jake Humphrey glugs down a tumbler of activated charcoal water.Wondering why his wife is wasting the day, he shakes her awake and asks: “what are your goals for Q4?”It’s just another day in a High Performance Household.But how did it come to this?From gunging kids to grindset guru, this is the story of Linkedin’s favourite son… With Jake and Jacob from @screenrotpodcastGet an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Jake hosting Bamzooki: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS95gzb6dP4 Misjudged joke at David James: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667865096062730246 David Ginola does the wanker sign: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667864901568610307 Dig at Martin Keown for being late: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667864959059992576Twitter post telling people to leave their partners: https://x.com/AccidentalP/status/1661379860692885509  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the pod today: the sinister crime linked to Viktor Gyokeres’ Arsenal move and an ex-Barca star’s hospital gun rampage.Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot Watch our new Roy Keane YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A73Br-LWGmEGeorge's new football pod (First Up: Football): https://podfollow.com/first-up-football/viewLinks from the pod:Arda Turan avoiding eye contact with presenter: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/36275231/arda-turan-shakhtar-donetsk-reporter/ Arda Turan with a gun in the hospital: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1638156253112197120 Jannik Sinner’s thicc booty: https://x.com/bblsinner From Muhammad Ali’s brush with a flying saucer to the Brazilian farmer who knobbed a hot alien on a spaceship, embark on an intergalactic journey through the wildest UFO sightings when you join our Patreon.https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The good people of Sunderland have been through a lot. Viking raids. The rise of Korean shipbuilding. Spunking £6m on Jozy Altidore.But nothing could prepare them for the last decade.The club sank to the third tier, enduring noncing wingers, stars behind bars, and fans defecating in their seats.As the Black Cats return to the Premier League, this is the story of a Nightmare on Wearside…With guest @georgeaireycomedyGet an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Newcastle fans’ song for Adam Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8WnH4aL1uY David Moyes to Vicki Sparks: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39484238 Chris Coleman clashes with fan: https://x.com/Nozza_/status/1245235938298642432?lang=en-GB The poogate kid: https://images.app.goo.gl/wiTEPjwqQBL6mCEV6 Charlie Methven on the pre-match music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4bORXW9xeU&t=33s Kid throwing up: https://www.tiktok.com/@twitterstoptweets/video/7504026548593233175 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Evel Kneivel is staring into the abyss, can he pull off an insane mile long jump, or will he die trying?Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Eiffel Tower death jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBN3xfGrx_U&rco=1 Snake River jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1khN1xyBw&t=141s Wembley Stadium jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofVI3NZb9DQ Successful 15 car jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOE2Xie5g8E Pizza advert in the 90s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UG-zUyjd_8 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the pod today: Mauro Icardi’s gruesome origin story, the club legend who conned his pals out of thousands, and we meet the man refusing to cut his hair until Man Utd win five games in a row.EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐Follow The United Strand on Instagram @theunitedstrandRoll back the clock to 2005 for a ride through the year’s biggest sporting scandals - from Gazza’s disastrous stint in the dugout to Pep Guardiola’s seven month jail sentence - when you join our Patreon…https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:Bottom set maths player names video: https://www.tiktok.com/@mdgamingofficial1/video/7416666341656087841 Rasmus Højlund Manc accent: https://www.facebook.com/100063540582139/videos/that-accent-from-rasmus-h%C3%B8jlund-/1151192073466604/ Ibiza final boss dwarf:  https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/36233306/jack-kay-ibiza-party-bikini-girls/ Tom Brady’s brainwave to improve the US national team: https://x.com/FCBFanatic_/status/1952152796423242189LA politician talking to Son: https://x.com/JoserNunez91/status/1953232504485294567 DJ Carey with an iPhone charger up his nose: https://images.app.goo.gl/5kNsV23wJ6EqdWB99 Kevin Stewart on hayfever: https://www.instagram.com/p/DMdd-NxoWvy/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Evel Kneivel is battered, bruised and mildly addicted to prostitutes. But he’s about to become America’s most notorious daredevil.And with that come more scandals, broken bones and chaos than anyone else could take…Get part 3 RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:15 car jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOE2Xie5g8ECaesar’s Palace jump: https://youtu.be/XX2XUESyXsI?si=s7BX0d5TcfcXsf2m&t=66Posing with his cane: https://newmediawire.s3.amazonaws.com/5894fed487f163000b42c295_1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐On the show today: Star signings sacked for shoplifting, Luke Littler fails his driving test and Kevin Pietersen’s hotel humiliationAnd you can get our special on the history of daredevils - from cats in parachutes to the first human cannonball - when you join our Patreon…https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:Cricket fans scrolling escort site: https://x.com/UB1UB2/status/1949471775760212444 Firefighter floods baseball pitch: https://x.com/GrimesZane8/status/1946006513052418093  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Snake River Canyon, Idaho 1973.A baying mob of drunken biker gangs and bloodthirsty thrill-seekers watch on, as a lunatic in a star spangled jumpsuit is strapped to a military rocket.And that was just an ordinary day for America’s most notorious daredevil.He bunked up with Charles Manson, spunked $20m on chinchilla fur coats and smashed the world record for broken bones.From month-long comas to robbing banks with dynamite, buckle in for the unhinged tale of Evel Kneivel.Do not try this at home…Listen to parts 2 and 3 RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get 20% off delicious hot sauces at Lou’s Brews: use code UPSHOT20 and visit www.lousbrews.co.uk.Welcome back to Extra Shot, coming to you, for no particular reason, from the banks of the River Thames.We’ve got our rods in the water, our tackle is out and we’re spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.On the show today: Marinakis makes Morgan Gibbs White an offer he can’t refuse, Michael van Gerwen hits the rave and Donald Trump caught cheating at golf AGAIN.And you can get our full special on fishing’s biggest scandals - from aquarium heists to quaalude-induced murder - when you join our Patreon…www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:Michael van Gerwen at Tomorrowland: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMlePGtC_W6/?igsh=MXJzaHNjbXI2cHF3 Morgan Gibbs White announcement: https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1949445138935148554 Trump cheating at golf: https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/1mav0d7/trump_caught_cheating_at_golf_with_his_caddies/Goldfinger golf scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTBvu-fTTIk&t=205sMedvedev smashing water: https://www.skysports.com/tennis/video/30998/13401953/daniil-medvedev-booed-after-smashing-water-bottle-following-defeat-to-corentin-moutet Ballboy kills Sakkari’s bug: https://www.reddit.com/r/tennis/comments/1m7otgu/sakkari_saves_bug_ballboy_kills_it_seconds_later Angry mob encircles cheating fishermen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFnByQCDjz0&ab_channel=KBBOutdoors Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After the 2005 Ashes, Kevin Pietersen was a national hero. But with fame comes scrutiny from the tabloids, and KP’s about to fall victim to a kiss and tell.And after that, the scandals come thick and fast.Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Allen Stanford flirting with players’ wives: https://youtu.be/11xMyxU8e9E?si=lLhl55twyeSgMSys&t=26  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshotWelcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod about the funniest stories in sport THIS WEEK.On the show today: The house party that destroyed a heavyweight champ, Crystal Palace’s £25m office cock-up and kian harratt if you’re reading this please don’t kill usUnlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes (Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:Chloe Kelly and Richard Madeley: https://x.com/FionaSmall/status/1554500895408328709 Oldham fans chant for Kian Harratt: https://twitter.com/FBAwayDays/status/1946584576815460615 Behind the scenes at Daniel Dubois’ pre-fight house party: https://www.tiktok.com/@fightermagazine/video/7529640849899113750 American pundits comparing Pulisic to Messi and Maradona: https://x.com/a1exii_/status/1803849850426978528 Pawn stars selling Pulisic shirt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz2POjWqUMc  Joao Felix’s girlfriend’s UFO sighting video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/T2obQ9GpSSM Danny Dyer with the alien enthusiasts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaZvsQIp8dk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The long, hot summer of 2005. Crazy Frog is number one. The royal family are reeling from Prince Harry’s Nazi costume.And millions watch England finally wrestle back the Ashes, led by Kevin Pietersen, a spiky-haired Saffer with a chip on his shoulder.But for KP, the drama is just getting started.From shagging with Shane Warne to cosying up to con men, this is the story of England’s arsehole-genius…Get part two instantly when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:KP’s 2005 haircut: https://static.toiimg.com/photo/23000625/Kevin-Pietersen-is-as-unpredictable-with-his-hairstyles-as-he-is-with-his-batting-.jpgDrunk with Flintoff: https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/article5175462.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/England-cricketers-Andrew-Flintoff-L-and-Kevin-Pietersen.jpg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is part one of our special series on Oasis. It was supposed to be for Patreon only, but we're giving it to everyone for free.You can get parts 2 and 3 exclusively on Patreon right now: www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the Patreon app - it's cheaper)Liam Gallagher once said: “Every time I look in the mirror God looks back”.But I don’t remember God ever snorting crystal meth on stage or ripping the door off Eric Cantona’s brand new Mercedes.Then again, God never headlined Knebworth. And he’s got a shit fookin’ beard.From benders with Steve Coogan to doing coke in the Queen’s toilet, this is the story of Oasis: a family full of eccentrics… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join over 12 million men worldwide who trust MANSCAPED® and use code UPSHOT for 15% off your entire order at Manscaped.com. Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod about the funniest stories in sport THIS WEEK.On the show today: Someone finally finishes Christian Horner off, Wimbledon tennis fans dirty protest and Matthijs De Ligt dumps his wife over her spiritual bullshit.Get the Upshot’s Oasis special right now when you join our Patreon:www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:Conor McGregor’s DMs to Azaelia Banks (NSFW) https://x.com/BedworthTimes/status/1944760496181149817 The AI account Rishabh Pant’s been firing out likes to: https://www.instagram.com/miazelu/?hl=en David Raya’s inflatable tuxedo: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/35765992/david-raya-wedding-arsenal-inflatable-tuxedo-dance/ Roberto De Zerbi lads holiday: https://x.com/eurofootcom/status/1941148998204891155 Richard Branson throwing water on Eberechi Eze: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=751390330685670 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At the end of part 1, Novak Djokovic was riding high. Equal to Federer and Nadal. Admittedly it was becoming clear he had some quite fruity personal beliefs.But in 2020, his world is going to be turned UPSIDE DOWN…Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Dancing at Adria Tour: https://x.com/georgia_bm_/status/1275257844925784065Hitting line judge in throat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRuu2-VIw5oMystery drink: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1676208066516209665 Chanting Ruuuuuuuune: https://youtu.be/Pkx1VyDRYhg?si=uy9CNQMIl0rxDAyB&t=80 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase of an eSim! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot  Welcome back to Extra Shot, our Thursday pod about the funniest stories in sport THIS WEEK.On the show today: Someone finally finishes Christian Horner off, Wimbledon tennis fans dirty protest and Matthijs De Ligt dumps his wife over her spiritual bullshit.Get the Upshot’s Oasis special right now when you join our Patreon:www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).Links from the pod:NASCAR prayer: https://www.tiktok.com/@nbcsports/video/7509527555272166686 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You don’t win 24 grand slams without going a little crazy. Just ask Novak Djokovic.The Serbian sensation moves objects with his mind, sparks diplomatic feuds and sets a place for his dogs at the dinner table.From mafia car chases to spats with Agassi, meet the DJOKER….Get part two RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowersLinks from the pod:Guardian summary of Novak’s fruity views: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2020/apr/20/no-vaxx-djokovic-why-his-spiritual-world-view-can-have-a-dangerous-side Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.