U Up?
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U Up?

Author: Betches Media

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U Up? is the definitive modern dating podcast presented by Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and comedian Jared Freid, where they discuss their take on the ebbs and flows of the crazy dating world we live in. From interpreting dating app interactions and weird sexual encounters, to defining the relationship and everything in between - they’re here to make sure you don’t die alone. For more fun dating commentary, polls, and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram. Become a friend (with benefits) of the podcast and subscribe to receive early release and ad-free versions of all our new episodes, plus bonus subscriber-only episodes. To sign up and become a friend (with benefits) today head to: subscribe.betches.com

571 Episodes
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It’s an extra special Sunday because we’re letting you in on some office goss. Divya, a Betches staff member, joins J&J for a debrief about her neighbor. She met a cute guy in her building during cuffing season and, at the time, Jordana warned her that dating a neighbor is a risky move, but also gave some helpful advice on how to proceed. Now that summer is in full swing, J&J are dying to know if the risk was worth the reward. She retells how the situation came to be, the dates they shared along with in-the-moment advice Jared and Jordana gave, and how it all ended. With that situation in hindsight, Divya, Jared and Jordana reflect on the red flags, and J&J share what would’ve worked to spare the issues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are questioning narratives today, starting with what happened to romcoms. After seeing Jared’s criticism of “Anyone But You,” Jordana wants to discuss thoughts on Sydney Sweeney, Glen Powell, and the state of romcoms in 2024. Then, we hear from a listener who can’t figure out how to get a guy out of Instagram DMs and into exchanging numbers. Their mutual friends advised her that he’s just “playing it cool,” but it’s starting to feel intentionally avoidant. Next, J&J receive a long email that’s both Awkward Encounter and an ask for advice after a guy friend professed his love at the airport. Our listener is pansexual and feels a tinge of betrayal with her confusion, but J&J don’t think she’s seeing enough of the other side. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about texting habits, hating travel, and wearing the same shirts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The perfect episode to tune in ahead of a Father’s Day brunch, J&J are back with another bite-size Sunday Special. They start with a “Petty or Prudent?” about sending an obituary after someone ghosts you, but they also saw a red flag before our listener got to the point of being ghosted. The episode ends with an email about another TikTok dating trend. Several fun #DatingTok videos are telling single people to try dating with an expiration date, but our listener didn’t have fun with the concept at all. Is it just not for her, or did she do it wrong? The hosts weigh in and advise the workaround for her and anyone else wanting to give this a try. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are tackling nuance in the modern dating world. Before jumping in, Jordana recounts her Sonoma vacation and her driverless ride reminds Jared of dating apps’ impact on society. Plus Jared has feedback for a fan that shot her shot for an upcoming tour date, and his reasons for what was wrong with her approach tie into the first email. A listener has a crush on her fitness instructor, but is there a way to shoot her shot without making it awkward if he wants to pass? In true U Up? fashion, John Mayer enters the tangent fray, but first, J&J have an introduction to make. Then, the Awkward Encounter involves a situation going from flirty online to uncomfortable irl when a listener finally meets her colleague at graduation. Next, J&J answer an “Are We Dating?” about a long-distance connection growing between traveling work trips. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about seatbelts, professional Tinder pics, and IG explore pages. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jared and Jordana are getting pumped for their trip to Cannes, but they have to get a few things crossed on their list before they go. First up, Jordana needs answers on what the f*ck is up with Jared’s beard? Next, they read a wedding note from a subscriber before delving into a “Petty or Prudent?” about a SIL asking to share a wedding anniversary date. The episode ends with an advice email for a listener’s mom. He’s tried helping her navigate dating after her divorce, but she has excuse after excuse on why no one is right, so he needs help from J&J on how to get through to her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are taking on complicated relationships and realizations in this week’s episode, but first, they catch up on Jordana’s latest trip, get excited for their voyage en France, and Jared vents about the unknown era he’s navigating. The first email comes from a listener looking to collect $1,000 her ex owes her. He’s gone radio silent and it’s been a year, but J&J think she’s making a mistake with her ask. Then, our final “Friends to Lovers” submission takes a turn when a listener found her lover’s Grindr messages. TRIGGER WARNING for our next email, we talk about animal abuse. J&J receive an email about an impending breakup, a heartbroken woman, and her dog at the center. She thought he was “the one,” but her dog’s reactions as their relationship progressed caused major issues, and Jared thinks her concern and focus are in the wrong place. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about dating your ex’s twin, tattoos of faces, and a questionable bachelor party game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are joined by Olivia O’Brien ahead of the release for her upcoming EP, “Love and Limerence,” but before they get started, Jordana and Olivia fill Jared in on what limerence means. Then, Olivia shares the struggles with being vulnerable in her songwriting and dating other public figures, and Jared can relate for why he’s cautious with the real experiences he puts into his work. Plus Olivia shocks J&J with the aftermath of her song with gnash, “i hate u, i love u,” blowing up on the charts in 2016, they talk double standards of women being vulnerable, the difference in LA and NYC social scenes, and why Gen Z might be more open to casual relationships. The episode ends with answering a listener’s email about being on the hook and not knowing whether she should just walk away before she gets hurt. She’s been happily seeing someone for two months, but he’s now up for a job that would take him overseas indefinitely. They have yet to DTR, but she’s certain she doesn’t want to juggle a long-distance situation. Jared, Jordana and Olivia weigh in. For more from our guest, listen to “Love and Limerence” by Olivia O’Brien (@oliviaobrien) on June 21. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The pod is buzzing this week, and we’re starting with Jordana’s NBA experience seeing the Knicks play (and lose) Game 7 against the Pacers reminding her of a relationship falling apart and Jared’s fired-up morning after a workout. After catching up, they jump into an email from a listener reeling over getting stood up. She had an online relationship with a man in another state for 8 years, but when the stars aligned and she found herself in his area, he blocked her. Is she wrong for wishing he would’ve communicated he didn’t want to meet anymore, or does he not owe her anything because they’d never physically met? Next, we get another “Friends To Lovers” submission from a Canadian man about a woman he met in a workout class. Afterward, a military man asks how to navigate dating when his career’s constant moves have been the subject of several breakups. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about white lies, jorts on a plane, and a special update from a fan-favorite milk debate from our 2020 episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This week’s Sunday Special delves into boundaries, appropriateness, and perception, but first, J&J are catching up with Emma Willmann (@emmawillmann). The conversation from Emma’s last time on the pod gets a quick update with where it continued with a sex therapist on Emma’s podcast, Ask Men Anything. Then, Jared needs the insight of women he knows for his latest TikTok finds. Next, a male listener thinks his personality is to blame for his lack of dating life. He’s friendly and chatty, but the consensus of his friend group is that these characteristics could be “gay-coded,” so is the solution to become closed off? The episode ends with a “Petty or Prudent?” about a breakup reaction after our listener comes out to her boyfriend as queer, but it’s not the reaction to her sexuality that she’s concerned about. Jared, Jordana and Emma add some extra layers of perspective she may be looking past. Listen to our last episode with Emma, "Was This A Red Flag Or Is My Internalized Homophobia Showing?" from February 21. Listen to Emma's follow-up conversation on Ask Men Anything, "Asking Dr. Justin Lehmiller Anything" from February 27. https://youtu.be/AMPqjOcuAg8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Curse Of The Cool Girl

The Curse Of The Cool Girl

2024-05-2201:10:541

This week, J&J are finding the balance in a few debates, from ideal thermostat temps to awkward callouts. The first email asks if there’s a limit to how much an ex is brought up during a date. Jared and Jordana don’t initially agree and weigh both sides of the conversation. Next, in a segment sponsored by Netflix, they get a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission that's out to motivate other listeners to make a move. The second advice email is looking for the line between going for what you want and seeing what the person you’re dating is willing to do. There could be truth to “If he wanted to, he would,” but doesn’t that go both ways? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about being overly communicative, being put in an awkward situation pre-date, and disagreeing about the best sex you’ve ever had. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are jumping right into this week’s Sunday Special, kicking off with an “Icky or Picky?” about a delayed Hinge response. Our listener’s match explained that he took so long to get back to her because he only likes to focus on one match at a time, but she can’t decide if it’s unfair of her to be put off or if that was indeed too much too soon. Then, they get an email from a listener struggling to forgive herself for giving her ex a second chance despite problematic circumstances. J&J discuss who she's really mad at and what needs to change so she can move on in peace. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We’re talking guilty pleasure shows, that time Jared almost experienced death by pizza bite, and wedding planning ahead of jumping into the episode. Our first email comes from a listener dreading an upcoming wedding knowing they’ll be single, without a plus one, and only know two other guests on an acquaintance level. Then, we receive a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission in a segment sponsored by Netflix, and this one takes a turn. The second advice email comes from a gay listener in his late 30s looking for long-term love and frequently finding short-term romance. He’s been quick to cut things off once he realized he and his dates weren’t looking for the same thing, but is he missing out on great experiences by doing so? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about sleep farts, childhood homes, and splitting the check. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode is all about communication and honesty, but it’s not addressed in the usual way. First, Jordana fondly remembers her go-to first date question that she’s no longer allowed to ask. It may have ruffled feathers and ruined a friend’s date, but it gave her all she needed to know to engage with someone early on. Then, J&J play a round of “Petty or Prudent?” about a listener’s reaction to her husband’s ex. Our listener was fine with a filmmaker ex keeping in touch with her husband until his ex made a film about “the ups and downs of ‘young love’” based on their former relationship. She confronted her about the film and, when the ex claimed it was more about love in general, she asked for tickets. Her friends are egging her on to attend, but would that be petty? Next, we hear from a 35-year-old woman struggling with the men she’s meeting on the apps. She finds them all so…boring. She asks J&J a series of questions to adjust her approach (i.e. Should she lessen her expectations? Are these incompatibilities a deal breaker?), but they feel like she’s sidestepping an obvious factor in her problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Something’s comiiinnnnggggg – before we dive into the first email, Jared and Jordana have an announcement (spoiler: it has to do with Fra)! Then, the first email comes from a 32-year-old listener in LA with a common issue. She’s going on dates and they’re fine, but she doesn’t really care to push further. Where’s the lapse in connection, and is it safe to assume it must be coming from her end? J&J start at the crux of her dating issues and, like many of us, it has to do with an old situationship. The Awkward Encounter drove one listener to commit to cutting off her ex for good. Next, we get into our first “Friends to Lovers” submission in a new segment sponsored by Netflix. In anticipation of Bridgerton season 3, listeners are filling us in on how their own “friends to lovers” scenarios played out. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about voice messages, forgetting a first date, and date-crashing friends. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This Sunday Special, we’re taking notes from a professional! J&J are joined by Matthew Hussey (@thematthewhussey), a life coach and best-selling author with nearly 20 years of work elevating lives and relationships. We start with what Matthew came to terms with in the modern dating climate as his career evolved, then J&J get him to delve into how his own love life developed over time and the long-distance relationship that led him to say "I do" last year. His wife Audrey enters the chat to give her POV about their early stages and the surprising text she sent that drove him to make a decision. Plus, he answers listener questions sent in from Instagram, talks about raising your standards, and the importance of communication. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is it petty or prudent to use your life experiences with others in your life’s work? What if you’re one of the biggest pop stars in the world? Before dissecting listener emails, J&J dish first thoughts on Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department.” The first email comes from a listener disputing her latest breakup after her ex questioned whether they truly had long-term compatibility. To her, you have to invest in a relationship first in order to build compatibility, so she leaves it up to J&J to chime in and decide. The Awkward Encounter gave us all the ick. Then, the next email is from a listener who can’t decide if she should follow her heart or the advice of her loved ones. She’s seeing a friend of a famous rapper who flies her out and makes her feel special, but her family disapproves and wants her to come down from cloud nine. Is there a chance for something real to blossom with a lifestyle like his? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about picky eaters, invasive date questions, and threatening to break up after an argument. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This Sunday Special is a full debrief as Dulcé Sloan (@dulcesloan) joins J&J in the studio, catching them up on the dating stories she’s telling publicly for the first time, why she doesn’t call romantic interests by their names, and what she’s learned looking back. She takes us back to the time she was seeing “The Mechanic,” breaks down what they had and why it went on for so long, and confronts Jared about what he's looking for. You may know her as a comedian and host of The Daily Show, but Dulcé is also Jared’s friend and ready to be yours too with her new book, “Hello, Friends! – Stories of Dating, Destiny, and Day Jobs”. For more of her dating stories and lessons learned in life, get your copy of Dulcé’s book here: https://amzn.to/44gUGxW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J are back in the studio so nature is healing. Jared talks “peacocking” and shares deets on the commitment he dove into after a weekend in Aspen. Then, Jordana dishes on decision-making with her husband and the tactics that they’re using to get through their home renovations. Next, we receive an email from a male listener who isn’t having much luck making it to date #2. Is there a right way to ask what went wrong? The next email is a listener mid-spiral after her fiancé confessed to a digital affair. Then, the episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about a weird house quality, downgraded dinner plans, and lying about age on the apps. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mercury is in retrograde, J&J are out of studio, and existential thoughts are filling the distance between them today. Still reeling from the earthquake and solar eclipse, Jared and Jordana are getting deep into fears, oblivion, and mental health. Then, they dive into an email that doubles as a "Petty or Prudent?" submission. Our listener was dumped by her fiancé after footing most of the bills in preparation of their wedding, but she still has his grandmother's engagement ring. Should she give it back, or is it only fair that she sells it to pay off the debt incurred? She gets into the details of what's transpired since he called the wedding off to let J&J decide where to go from here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Lovers of long intros, buckle up! J&J are jumping in virtually today, so they do a little catch-up from Aspen and Long Island before diving into the episode. Then, our first email is questioning a man's alleged heartbreak. Our listener's friend broke up with a guy, but she's not sure how to take his reaction. Was he really just romantic, or was his reaction the subtle sign of a player? The Awkward Encounter is the accidental sext situation without the ick. The next email comes from a confused listener after her ex reached out wanting to be "all in" only to change his mind 3 days later. J&J discuss WTF happened and how you can avoid situations like this, then they end the episode with a round of "Red Flag or Deal Breaker?" about an odd joke, a last-minute change of plans, and privacy screens.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (60)

Kate Carey

"South Asian" means Indian, Pakistani, etc. lol not South Korean. 🤦‍♀️

May 29th
Reply

Carson McDonnell

listening to this through headphones is awful. Jared's constant screaming and "singing" is awful. being louder doesn't make it funnier.

Oct 4th
Reply

Carson McDonnell

love the pod but sick of hearing Jared sing or do his Renaissance voice rants.

Apr 26th
Reply

Carson McDonnell

the loud singing makes me want to gouge my eyes out, plz, for the love of God, stop...other than that, love ❤️

Jan 2nd
Reply

Aleja Yepes

I see nothing wrong with the "are we dating the same guy?" groups. it's basically a review. who wouldn't like to have a review about the person they are potentially dating.

Aug 25th
Reply

Lisa Lisa

Judging yourself during a date will probably not please anyone, although any form of revelation will certainly be of interest to the interlocutor and lover, but it is probably best to refrain from such conversations. By the way, how do you feel about lesbian romances on a dating site here https://www.lesbiemates.com/sugar-mama-dating.html . Young lesbians very often want to find the patronage of a lesbian sugar mommy and this is the most successful option for this purpose.

Jun 5th
Reply

Carina Leash

boring

Mar 24th
Reply

Lauren Brady

sang along with the Boston commercials 😄

Mar 13th
Reply

dee4frlyfe

ONG AWESOME BOOK LOL IT TOOK ME A FEW MINUTES TO REALIZE IT EVEN AFTER I WROTE IT DOWN ABD IT LOOKED FAMILIAR LOL . LOVE YOU GUYS. YOUR BOTH SO AWESOME AND AMAZING PLUS SOOO FUNNY !!!KEEP KILLING IT GRRR LOL THANK YOU FIR HELPING ME DURING BAD AND GOOD TIMES !!! CAN I SAY PODCAST #1!!!!

Jul 16th
Reply

lynn

lmao girl if he says he doesn't want kids and marriage and thats what you want that's a deal breaker, it's so easy

Mar 23rd
Reply

lynn

wtf I had no idea people put pots and pans in the fridge instead of using Tupperware?!?!

Mar 13th
Reply (1)

lynn

lmao Meconium is the baby's first stool and it is black and tar like and does cause problems if aspirated in the womb. Jared was pretty much right!

Mar 13th
Reply

lynn

Happy 10 years Betches!! 🥳

Mar 13th
Reply

KrisS73

Oh no -- you guys are really underestimating women older than you. I am 47 and part of a generation that was part of the explosion of the internet. Careful, don't alienate a group of women who are internet savvy and have a host of material you could really take advantage of like dating as a single parent, or while in pre menopause, etc. Such much needed dialogue in that realm!

Jul 20th
Reply

Srishti Bose

Seriously disappointed in these two. They, as two white peoples talking about the Karen videos, come across as so fucking ignorant it’s disgusting.

Jul 20th
Reply

Srishti Bose

Okay but how would he get your Instagram ID unless you gave it to him? Especially if you’re private.

May 23rd
Reply

Sam Burke

This is the funniest podcast I've listened to! they literally hit the nail on the forehead with modern dating 😂

Jan 5th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“I do things ! I do things.”

Sep 7th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“Hard and Wet isn’t a one size fits all proposition” lmao

Aug 8th
Reply (1)

Calvin Thomas

Fantastic discussions, one of the best dating podcasts out there! Thank you J&J!

Jul 12th
Reply