U Up?
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U Up?

Author: Betches Media

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U Up? is the definitive modern dating podcast presented by Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and comedian Jared Freid, where they discuss their take on the ebbs and flows of the crazy dating world we live in. From interpreting dating app interactions and weird sexual encounters, to defining the relationship and everything in between - they’re here to make sure you don’t die alone. For more fun dating commentary, polls, and bonus content, follow @uuppod on Instagram.

160 Episodes
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The J’s get this week’s episode started with a conversation about turning your sexting penpal into a real relationship. A listener writes in to ask how to move the conversation from sexting back to serious. The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a pack of discarded birth control placebos and an uncomfortable conversation. Another listener asks how to react if the person you matched with on a dating app shows up to the first date with a beard they didn’t have in their profile. How much are you willing to accept if someone's appearance differs from their pictures? Finally, they finish things out with a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker, leading to a debate about whether or not to reschedule a date if someone falls asleep and stands you up.
J&J return for a Sunday Special episode with some big news… Jordana just got engaged! They tell us how it went down, when exactly the engagement conversation got started, and how it feels to go from dating to engaged. Jordana shares how she went about helping to pick a ring and passed the information along to her fiancé. Plus, they talk about the pitfalls of telling your friends the engagement is coming soon, and close the show with all the details on how he popped the question.
J&J begin this week with a conversation about the increase in date cancellations during covid. Are people cancelling more often than they used to? The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a bent penis and an unpleasant trip to the ER. Another emailer writes in to ask why the guy she just became exclusive with keeps insisting that they wait to have sex. How does she tell him she’s ready without coming off desperate? Finally, they close the show with some Red Flag or Deal Breaker questions, leading to a conversation about how early in a relationship you can start leaving things at your partner’s place.
The J’s start the week with conversation about why some people always seem to be the ones who get dumped, while others are doing all the dumping. The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a puddle on the ground, an embarrassing fall, and a misunderstanding about fluids. How are some guys still so clueless about female anatomy? Another emailer writes in with a story about going on a first date and getting cornered in the bathroom with a message from her date's ex. Is it a dealbreaker if someone warns you about the way they've treated partners in the past? Then a listener asks whether or not she should be worried that her boyfriend’s attractive neighbor has gotten so close to him since he moved in. What are the boundaries on guy/girl friendships when you’re in a committed relationship? Finally, they close the show with a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker and a debate about living near your ex. Thanks to our sponsors: Mercari: Sell or buy almost anything on Mercari. You can find Mercari on the App Stores or on Mercari.com
The J’s start the week with a debate about whether or not guys like women with curly hair, and a conversation about how you’d react if your partner payed someone on an OnlyFans page. Then, a listener writes in to ask how to reach out if your date hasn’t texted you after a while. Is it possible to make the next move without coming off desperate? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a movie soundtrack, constant interruptions, and an uncomfortable amount of Lord of the Rings talk. Another listener writes in to ask whether or not the “just joined” label on dating apps gives people the impression you’re just looking for rebound sex after a breakup. Should you be up front about the fact that you’re fresh out of a relationship? Then an emailer asks how early in a relationship you should tell someone that you’re bisexual. Finally, they finish things out with some Red Flag or Deal Breakers, leading to a conversation about what it means when someone you’re dating sends a subpar birthday text. Thanks to our sponsors: Mercari: Sell or buy almost anything on Mercari. You can find Mercari on the App Stores or on Mercari.com Vizzy: Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. Go to vizzyhardseltzer.com to find out where you can purchase. Glossier: Get that glowy, dewy skin for yourself by visiting Glossier.com/podcast/uup and you’ll get 10% off your first order
J&J begin the show with a conversation about the wave of Karen videos going around and why people can’t help but watch them. Then a listener writes in to ask if she should start following a guy that she met briefly and developed a crush on at work on Instagram. What does it signal to a guy if you initiate the IG follow? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a missing vibrator and a desperate quest to retrieve it. Another listener writes in to ask why some people always seem to be in a relationship and others are perpetually single. Next, an emailer asks if she should agree to put her relationship on hold for the sake of their careers, and whether or not it’s best to cut off all communication during a break. Finally, they close the show with some Red Flag or Deal Breaker questions, including a debate about using liquor bottles as decor. Thanks to our sponsors: Thrive: Go to thrivemarket.com/UUP to start your risk-free membership and get up to twenty dollars toward your first order!
The J’s start the week with a conversation about the return to in-person dating now that many states have started to at least partially re-open. A listener writes in to ask how long is too long to talk to someone from a dating app before meeting them. Are the stakes higher than a regular first date when you’re meeting out of quarantine? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a parked minivan, a dead battery, and a dad with jumper cables. Another emailer asks whether or not she should be concerned that her boyfriend’s ex is still Facebook friends with his mom and likes everything she posts. Next, a listener wants her boyfriend to give her more compliments but doesn’t know how to bring it up. Finally, they finish out the week with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker and a conversation about people who allow the restaurant to ‘surprise’ them with their meal each time they order. Thanks to our sponsors: Vizzy: Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. Go to vizzyhardseltzer.com to find out where you can purchase.
J&J begin the show with an email from a listener whose girlfriend watched footage of his ex’s wedding and made fun of the people from his hometown. Is it a dealbreaker if someone doesn’t respect where you're from? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a dog, a tongue, and some misplaced blame. Another emailer asks if she’s reading too much into her boyfriend choosing to buy a house without including her in the process. Then a listener writes in to ask about a series of confusing texts she got from a guy that broke things off over a year ago and is using Covid to get back into her good graces. Finally, they close things out with a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker, leading to a conversation about whether or not you can ask someone you’re dating to quit smoking. Thanks to our sponsors: Hello Fresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/80uup and use code 80uup to get a total of $80 off, including free shipping on your first box.
The J’s start the week with a conversation about how to talk to your partner about a hygiene issue that could offend them. A listener writes in to ask how she can encourage her new boyfriend to address his earwax problem without making it a big deal. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a guy who won’t have sex on the first date but is open to it the morning after. Another emailer asks how to feel about her boyfriend’s response to the Black Lives Matter protests. Should she be concerned about their compatibility if he’s not willing to post publicly about the movement? Then a listener asks whether or not premium options on dating apps actually give you a better chance of finding a partner. Is the ‘super like’ a turn on or an act of desperation? Finally, they close the show with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker including a debate about changing your name to please the person you’re with. Thanks to our sponsors: Vizzy: Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. Go to vizzyhardseltzer.com to find out where you can purchase. Mercari: Sell or buy almost anything on Mercari. You can find Mercari on the App Stores or on Mercari.com Prose: Take your free in-depth hair quiz and get 15% off your first order at Prose.com/uup
J&J start the show with an email from a listener who was blindsided when she found out her ex-boyfriend moved on so quickly, and in such a public way. What does it say about your former relationship when your ex moves on too fast? The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves fresh sheets, embarrassing facial expressions, and a misunderstanding about the pillow. Then another emailer writes in about a new relationship that suddenly became long-distance due to the pandemic, derailing her plan to get serious and come out to her family. Next, a listener asks for advice dealing with a former fling that reached back out after a long period of no contact. Did she shut the door on the possibility to check back in with him to see where they stand? Finally, they play a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker featuring a debate about people who constantly ask if you washed your hands. Thanks to our sponsors: Love Life: Start watching Love Life, starring Anna Kendrick, now at https://www.hbomax.com/love-life/  Mercari: Sell or buy almost anything on Mercari. You can find Mercari on the App Stores or on Mercari.com
The J’s begin this week with an email from an avid milk drinker who is turned on by a past listener’s love of milk. What do the things you love say about your values? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a burning candle, an impromptu massage, and a huge misunderstanding. Then another emailer writes in to ask whether or not she should feel judged by a guy who called things off after she admitted to occasionally smoking weed. Next, an emailer asks why the guy she’s talking to is quick to respond to Snapchat messages but hesitant to take things to text. Did she make a mistake by telling him she was only looking for something casual? Finally, this week’s game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker features a debate about what kind of person actually wants to be on the show Four Weddings. Thanks to our sponsors: Mercari: Sell or buy almost anything on Mercari. You can find Mercari on the App Stores or on Mercari.com StoryWorth: Give your dad the most meaningful gift this Father’s Day with StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/uup. Vizzy: Upgrade your hard seltzer with Vizzy. Go to vizzyhardseltzer.com to find out where you can purchase.
J&J get the show started with a conversation about people shaming each other for the extent to which they’re social distancing. Then a listener writes in to ask if she should call out the guy she just started seeing after he sent a screenshot that ‘accidentally’ included a popped up snapchat with another girl’s name. The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a missing pair of testicles and a doctor’s explanation. Another emailer asks if it’s reasonable to ask a quarantine fling to remain exclusive for as long as you keep hooking up, even if you’re not actually dating. Next, they respond to a listener who is struggling to be happy for her friends getting engaged when her boyfriend hasn’t proposed after dating for much longer than other couples. Finally, they close things out with some Red Flag or Deal Breaker and a discussion about people who lose their phone when they’re drunk. Thanks to our sponsor: HBO Max’s Love Life: Start watching Love Life, starring Anna Kendrick, now at https://www.hbomax.com/love-life/
The J’s start the show with a conversation about couples who moved in together for quarantine, and whether or not it’s okay to go back to living apart once this all ends. They offer advice to a listener whose boyfriend moved in for just this reason on how to navigate the transition back to “normal” life. The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a guy who doesn’t know whether or not he’s circumcised. Is it a huge red flag if your partner doesn’t know their own anatomy? Next, an emailer writes in to ask whether or not she should be alarmed that the guy she just started seeing hasn’t mentioned that he was married before. Another listener asks whether or not the quarantine-hookup in her building is using his past relationship as a cop out for getting more serious. Is it possible that he’s genuinely not ready for a relationship, or is she just a quarantine distraction? Finally, they finish the show with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker and a conversation about dating with strict food restrictions. Thanks to our sponsors! HBO Max’s Love Life: Start watching Love Life, starring Anna Kendrick, now at https://www.hbomax.com/love-life/
Jordana & Jared get the show started this week with details about the upcoming U Up? Live At Home show and a conversation about social media etiquette when it comes to liking photos. Then they dive into a listener email about what to do when your best friend keeps hitting ‘like’ on photos posted by your ex. Is this a violation of some sort of unwritten rule of friendship? The Awkward Sexual Encounter of the week involves a foot fetish and an unsatisfying finish. Then an emailer writes in to ask why the guy she was DMing with never called or texted when she gave him her number. Was she too eager to take the next step or is she just overthinking things? Another listener asks how to start a conversation about finances during quarantine with her significant other. Is it fair to ask your partner to take on more of the financial burden when you lose your job? Finally, they close the show with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker and a debate about whether or not it’s weird to have a roommate of the opposite sex. We’re hosting our first ever U Up? Live At Home on Thursday, May 21st at 8pm ET/5pm PT! Grab a drink, gather the group chat, and get your tickets NOW before they sell out at: betches.co/uupathome
The J’s start things off with a conversation about quarantine sex and whether or not the frequency has changed for couples since getting trapped indoors. Next, an emailer writes in to ask whether or not it’s okay to move in together without getting engaged first. Do people underestimate the importance of the move-in as a milestone? This week’s Awkward Sexual Encounter involves an unwanted golden shower and an apologetic Taco Tuesday. Then a listener asks if it’s messed up for a guy to be mad at her for not wanting to meet up in person during quarantine. Another emailer asks if it’s a bad idea to go straight from living in your parents’ house to living with your boyfriend. Finally, they finish the show with some Red Flag or Deal Breaker questions and a conversation about people who get angry at strangers who aren't social-distancing. We’re hosting our first ever U Up? Live At Home on Thursday, May 21st at 8pm ET/5pm PT! Grab a drink, gather the group chat, and get your tickets NOW before they sell out at: betches.co/uupathome
J&J start the week with a conversation about who gets to decide where you quarantine as a couple. A listener writes in to ask whether her boyfriend of five years should feel obligated to come quarantine with her in her parents’ home. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a random flip into the air, a pair of bunnies, and a strange invitation. Plus, Jared shares a hilarious story about a spontaneous flip ruining his night. Then they’re joined by Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, to talk about his new audiobook Love Is Not Enough. They start with a conversation about the concept of ‘f*ck yes or no’ and why sometimes it’s best for people to just admit it’s time to move on. Together, they answer another emailer’s question about a guy she’s been seeing during the pandemic, and whether or not it will all end the moment quarantine is over. Finally, they close the show with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker, including a question about someone you dated adding you on LinkedIn. Thanks to our sponsor! 1-800-Contacts: Order online at 1800contacts.com, through their 5-star rated app or calling 1-800-Contacts (1-800-266-8228)
The J’s start the show with an update on quarantine dating, and a conversation about whether or not video chatting before in-person dates will become the new norm. Then a listener writes in to ask how to tell if you’re bored of quarantine or just bored in your relationship. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a late night fart and a discussion about the proper etiquette for being gross around your partner. Another emailer writes in to ask if it’s unfair to invite her boyfriend over during quarantine even though she’s not comfortable with her roommate having friends over. Is this a double standard, or is she in the right to see it as two separate things? Then another listener asks for help with texts from a guy who keeps flaking on her but continues to ask for another chance. Finally, they close the show with a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker, including one about dating someone who has never left their hometown.
J & J get things started this week with a conversation about avoiding fights with your significant other when you’re stuck trying to work and coexist in the same living space. Then they discuss the reasons why some men are resistant to going on a Zoom date, and an emailer asks what to do when you’re fed up with quarantine dating altogether. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves Gucci in the bedroom, a Gucci bathroom, and a suspicious deodorant choice. Plus, Jared makes a shocking confession. Another listener writes in to ask why the guy who refused to commit to her is still sending casual Snapchat and Instagram messages. Then another emailer asks if she should be concerned that her boyfriend hides (and deletes) his text conversations from her. Is there any reasonable explanation for why he could be hiding his messages? Then they finish the show with some Red Flag or Deal Breakers, and a conversation about what your hopes and dreams say about who you are as a person.
The J’s begin the show by talking sh*t about the first photo Instagram challenge. Next, a listener writes in to ask whether or not it’s weird to follow someone on Instagram the moment you match on a dating app. This week’s Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a half-naked man, grandparents at the front door, and a strange text months after the fact. Next, they offer advice to a listener who confronted the guy she’s seeing after he updated his dating profile. Then they’re joined by comedians Sam Morril and Taylor Tomlinson to talk about how the new couple is handling quarantining together just six months into their relationship. They talk about how to avoid fights, activities couples can do together, and whether or not it’s expected to continue living together once social distancing ends. They give advice to a listener asking how to deal with a resentful boyfriend whose pandemic related stress is testing her relationship. Finally, they close out the show with a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker, including a debate about liking thirst traps and where to draw the line.
The J’s start the show with a conversation about dating when you’re stuck inside, and discuss the fact that people are finally willing to try FaceTime dates. Plus, they talk about how the quarantine has forced people to reassess their relationships. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves sexy lingerie, a wad of toilet paper, and a disappearing act. Next, a listener writes in to ask if it’s okay to be upset with your partner for giving up on seeing each other during the quarantine. Should your significant other be willing to forgo social distancing rules for the sake of your relationship? Then they’re joined by Nicole Byer, comedian and host of Netflix’s “Nailed It!” to talk about dating in this weird and confusing time. They respond to a single listener who feels like a loser right now and needs advice for dating without seeing people in person. Finally, they close out the show with a round of Red Flag or Deal Breaker and Nicole tells us whether or not it’s okay to move into your partner’s childhood home together.
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Comments (46)

KrisS73

Oh no -- you guys are really underestimating women older than you. I am 47 and part of a generation that was part of the explosion of the internet. Careful, don't alienate a group of women who are internet savvy and have a host of material you could really take advantage of like dating as a single parent, or while in pre menopause, etc. Such much needed dialogue in that realm!

Jul 20th
Reply

Srishti Bose

Seriously disappointed in these two. They, as two white peoples talking about the Karen videos, come across as so fucking ignorant it’s disgusting.

Jul 20th
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Srishti Bose

Okay but how would he get your Instagram ID unless you gave it to him? Especially if you’re private.

May 23rd
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Sam Burke

This is the funniest podcast I've listened to! they literally hit the nail on the forehead with modern dating 😂

Jan 5th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“I do things ! I do things.”

Sep 7th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“Hard and Wet isn’t a one size fits all proposition” lmao

Aug 8th
Reply (1)

Calvin Thomas

Fantastic discussions, one of the best dating podcasts out there! Thank you J&J!

Jul 12th
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Giga Guns

yep... he has BPD...

Jul 6th
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Srishti Bose

A lot of you have been asking lmfao

Jul 1st
Reply

Giga Guns

she discovered warm water in the 21.st century. 🤦

Jun 24th
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Felishia Sun

my thoughts on what to call the first weird sex experience exactly what itwas already being referred to: "Puke Dick" referring to it as the 'Move' not referring to the guy. Plus this might save the poor guy from it being a nick name for him because the name is placed on the move and not onto him. 'Puke Dick' - When vomiting occurs while performing felatio. (However it is spelled, I'm not sure. But you get the point) So, save the poor guy and relieve him of the name and adopt it to a national term of the sexual experience instead. Win-Win👍

Jun 15th
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Shannon Behm

Absolutely love this podcast

Apr 17th
Reply

Bella Quinn

what's dm?

Mar 28th
Reply (1)

Heaven-Leigh Mathews

I love J and J!! 😍

Mar 21st
Reply

Felishia Sun

Call the tampon guy something like "The Count" as in: Dracula. lol

Mar 21st
Reply

Felishia Sun

Look, I'll tell you in the manner my sister puts it to me when we talk about our physical appearance. Jogging is a good idea. you don't have to do much of it. just a mile three times a week. the fat will just melt off. if you frequent the clubs, my homosexual uncle gave me a great tip as well. he said, DON'T drink beer and don't sit at a table. Stay on the dance floor dancing. when you want a drink, go to the bar and get a shot (and not goldshlogger or Red Hot types. No sugary ones. get vodka- warmed, Tequilla-clear or similar clear in color) then return to the dance floor and dance. No standing around. It's super fun and you will tone up quickly without any effort. it's a life style. AND it's better than going to the Gym. Go to the Dance floor baby and dance... AllllNiiiiiLooooog! Whooooooo!

Feb 27th
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Tracey Sedore

J squared are the best!!!!!!

Feb 7th
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lynn

ugh not my favorite. bad interview, answer the fucking question and stop "digressing"

Dec 27th
Reply

Zico Dumo

worst night to hookup: election day! 😂

Nov 7th
Reply

Tracey

🙄

Nov 2nd
Reply
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