Unblock Your BS

Emotionally, I am your roommate. Legally, I am your wife. That's the answer "Peter" got when he finally asked his wife directly where they stood. They're still living together, still separated, still in a gray area neither of them has fully committed to leaving. This week Peter joins me for a coaching episode, and it goes deep. He's done real work on himself since the separation started, therapy, shadow work, rediscovering old hobbies, and still finds himself asking a hard question: am I doing this for me, or because I want everyone, including her, to see me doing well? In this episode: Why self-improvement can quietly become another form of people-pleasing The question that reveals whether your growth is genuine or performative Why true detachment includes letting go of positive validation too How outsourcing your self-worth puts enormous pressure on your partner Peter's fear that he's destined to repeat his father's patterns Why emotional cheating can feel safer than vulnerability with your actual partner The connection between people-pleasing, decision-making and attraction How Peter reduced his value to how well he could provide What to do when the "I'm not good enough" spiral starts The grief you may have to feel instead of trying to out-heal it Why becoming healthier doesn't guarantee your marriage will survive Peter's fear that divorce will leave him as "broken goods" The difference between looking for someone to complete you and bringing a complete version of yourself into a relationship And maybe the hardest part: You can become healthier, happier, more self-aware and more emotionally available… and the person you love still might not choose you. The work is learning how to choose yourself anyway. __________________________________________________________________________________ JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You can be successful at work, disciplined with your goals, financially secure... and still have no idea why your relationship keeps falling apart. Because the pattern causing problems at home might not actually be a "relationship problem." In this episode, I'm joined by high-performance coach Brad Bizjack to talk about the subconscious beliefs and patterns running underneath how we show up in relationships, work, success and even the goals we say we want. And because apparently interviewing Brad wasn't vulnerable enough, I volunteered myself for a little live coaching. We get into: Why the same subconscious pattern can show up completely differently at work and at home A simple way to uncover beliefs you don't realize you're carrying My own belief about becoming more successful and potentially becoming less desirable to men The difference between needing a partner and wanting an interdependent partnership Why old relationship pain can make a safe person feel unsafe The 3 U's that can kill attraction for feminine energy The 3 C's that can kill attraction for masculine energy Why men need purpose outside of their relationship Why providing for your partner is about a hell of a lot more than money What Brad means when he says "success without fulfillment is failure" If this episode has you wondering what subconscious patterns are quietly running your life, Brad is hosting his free 5-day Success Accelerator experience. You'll identify what you actually want, uncover the beliefs and internal conflicts getting in the way, and start working through the patterns that keep creating the "two steps forward, three steps back" cycle. Join Brad's FREE Success Accelerator here: http://www.bradbizjack.com/a/2148328314/G9M6o6ZH  Where to find Brad: Instagram Youtube Rewire Your Mind w/ Brad Bizjack Podcast __________________________________________________________________________________ JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What if being "healed" doesn't mean you never get triggered again? You can do therapy, nervous system work, breathwork, become incredibly self-aware... and still occasionally get defensive, shut down, raise your voice, say something you regret, or hurt your partner without intending to. Because you're human. In this episode, Tara breaks down the skill she thinks every relationship actually needs, and it's not "never get triggered again."  You'll hear: Why regulation doesn't mean never having an emotional reaction How defensiveness can disguise itself as "logic" The difference between intention and impact Why "I was just trying to help" probably isn't helping Questions that replace defensiveness with curiosity What accountability actually looks like beyond an apology How boundaries fit into repair when behavior doesn't change Tara's 3-question post-conflict "relationship debrief" Why learning to fight better can actually create more closeness If you're a man who wants to become more regulated, consistent, and emotionally safe in your relationship, Healthy Men-tality was built to help you practice these skills with coaching, accountability, and support. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Danny loved his wife. He worked 10–14-hour days to provide for his family. His wife stayed home raising and homeschooling their children. From his perspective, he was doing what a husband and father was supposed to do. But emotionally, he kept everyone at arm's length. Danny carried a belief that eventually everyone leaves. So without really realizing what he was doing, he protected himself by never letting his wife completely in. When she was overwhelmed, he fixed. When conversations got uncomfortable, he checked out. When conflict showed up, he people-pleased. Eventually his wife told him she was done. At the same time, Danny was navigating an entirely different life-altering challenge after an accident left him a quadriplegic. When he joined Healthy Men-tality, he was living away from his wife and children in a rehab facility while trying to figure out whether his marriage could be rebuilt. At first, Danny attacked his healing the same way he attacked every other problem: learn the tools, check the boxes, fix it. And then he realized something… he was still making his wife responsible for whether his work was "working." In this episode, we talk about: Why changing to get a specific response from your partner eventually backfires The Healthy Masculine Blueprint lesson that shifted Danny from "doing this for her" to doing it for himself Why his wife initially pushed BACK when he started becoming more consistent The brutally simple thing his eight-year-old son told him about his parenting What Danny finally understood about his wife's mental load Why he freaked out when his nervous system finally started feeling calm How he learned to recognize when he was slipping back into old patterns Why making his wife and children his entire purpose was actually putting more pressure on them Finding purpose again after a spinal cord injury changed the way he saw himself What is happening in Danny's marriage now JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

This week's coaching episode is a behind-the-scenes look at an actual coaching call.  Our guest came in wanting help moving on from a 12-year relationship, still holding onto the belief that if he could just do things differently, it could still work. What we uncover instead is a pattern of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that goes back much further than this relationship, and what it actually takes to start choosing himself. In this coaching episode, we unpack: Why people-pleasing can make someone else's happiness feel like your responsibility The connection between self-worth, criticism, rejection, and relationship anxiety Why having needs doesn't automatically make you "clingy" or "needy" The difference between guilt, shame, and actual accountability How childhood experiences can quietly shape what feels familiar in adult relationships Why he kept abandoning himself to keep the relationship stable What fight + fawn responses can look like during conflict A simple breathing technique for regulating before walking back into a stressful environment How to start figuring out who you are after years of defining yourself through a relationship If you're listening and realizing you've spent years trying to become the person someone else needed you to be, maybe the next chapter isn't about getting them back. Maybe it's about getting you back. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.