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Unlocking Conflict

Author: Unlocking Conflict

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Unlocking Conflict is a podcast all about handling conversations better – in work, at home or in life. We look at the skills that can help us navigate conflict better to reduce stress and build better relationships or get better outcomes. This isn’t just about the big blow outs – it’s about the small things too, like the feedback we want to give, but can’t work out how to say, or the conversation that just never happens. Join our group of mediators, coaches and facilitators to start turning conflict on its head.
9 Episodes
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Part 2 of our mediation special starts off with the practical question of how you might get a mediator, or suggest to someone that mediation might be a helpful way forward. We look at things to bear in mind while doing that, and finally how mediation techniques can help us counteract polarisation.Where to find a mediator: Email us at unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk if you have any questions and we can point you in the right direction.Family mediation: https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/Civil & commercial mediation: https://civilmediation.org/mediator-search/Community mediation:Drop us an email unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk and we can signpost you to local mediation charities in LondonOr you can search in your local area,Or find a mediator on https://civilmediation.org/mediator-search/If you live in the London boroughs of Wandsworth, Islington or Camden, our community mediation services can help you for free:Wandsworth: www.wandsworthmediation.co.ukCamden & Islington: www.crux.org.uk Help for individuals The Men's Advice Line offers support for men experiencing domestic violence from a partner, ex-partner or other family members. Call the confidential free helpline on 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday 9am-5pm.Women's aid protects women from domestic violence. Call their 24-hour helpline on 0808 2000 247.You can talk to Childline about anything. Call them for free on 0800 1111 or visit their website.Relate is an affordable relationship and sex counselling service. 0300 100 1234
In this mediation special, we look at how mediation can help transform seemingly hopeless situations. We hear how from the courts, to the workplace to the street, mediation creates a space where people travel from toxic conflict to relief. And we find out how Stephen, Sharon and Phil discovered mediation themselves.Where to find a mediator: Email us at unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk if you have any questions and we can point you in the right direction.Family mediation: https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/Civil & commercial mediation: https://civilmediation.org/mediator-search/Community mediation:Drop us an email unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk and we can signpost you to local mediation charities in LondonOr you can search in your local area,Or find a mediator on https://civilmediation.org/mediator-search/If you live in the London boroughs of Wandsworth, Islington or Camden, our community mediation services can help you for free:Wandsworth: www.wandsworthmediation.co.ukCamden & Islington: www.crux.org.uk Help for individuals:The Men's Advice Line offers support for men experiencing domestic violence from a partner, ex-partner or other family members. Call the confidential free helpline on 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday 9am-5pm.Women's aid protects women from domestic violence. Call their 24-hour helpline on 0808 2000 247.You can talk to Childline about anything. Call them for free on 0800 1111 or visit their website.Relate is an affordable relationship and sex counselling service. 0300 100 1234
What can we do when we keep having the same issue or argument with someone? We look at how and why arguments repeat themselves, and how to break the cycle, including:Why timing mattersHow powerful changing the conversation is, even when you continue to disagreeWays to bring clarity and resolution to deeply rooted issues.NB: You don’t need to do this on your own - sometimes you need support. Look out for our next episode on mediation and conflict coaching for how other people can help in a conflict situation. Episode links: If you’re interested, this article covers The Drama Triangle and how you can break out of it if you find yourself in it:https://www.forbes.com/sites/remyblumenfeld/2018/12/07/how-to-transform-your-relationships-by-getting-creative/ 
Continuing our focus on difficult conversations, we ask: what if someone isn’t telling you what’s going on? Maybe you suspect they’re annoyed with you, or maybe you’ve had an argument and everything’s gone silent since….or maybe they’re just not being themselves and you’re not sure why. We look at how to open up conversations when there’s an elephant in the room. Plus: friendships that drift, the difference between needing space and avoiding conflict and how to create space for honest conversations.  
De-escalating conflict

De-escalating conflict

2020-07-1031:41

What can we do when a conversation is going really wrong, in the heat of the moment? This week, we look at de-escalating conflict. How can we notice when a conversation is getting out of control, and how can we turn it back around?Plus: conflict by text/social media, and what happens when someone doesn’t listen. Episode links:How I survived workplace bullying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmRKlZEXVQMAcas website for advice on workplace rights and grievance procedures: www.acas.org.ukAnd the Acas helpline: 0300 123 1100Mediation:www.wandsworthmediation.org.ukwww.crux.org.uk 
We look at preparing for difficult conversations: why it matters, and techniques for how to do it, so you can have the conversations you want to have, rather than the ones you regret.Plus: Sharon and Phil share how they psych themselves up for conversations they’d rather avoid, and Fiona reveals how she feels about Stephen’s moth-counting habits.We’d love to hear from you – if you have any questions or feedback, feel free to email us at unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk.Further resources and support:Mediation and Conflict:www.crux.org.ukwww.peacewell.org.ukwww.wandsworthmediation.co.ukCounselling/individual therapy:You can find a full list of free services on the NHS website: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
We look at one of the most underestimated skills in life: listening. We all want to be listened to, and we all hate it when we’re not listened to. But it’s easy to talk about and hard to do. We look at just how powerful good listening can be, what happens when we do it badly, and how it can turn situations around.Brene Brown video on empathy and sympathy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
We explore nonviolent communication and how it can transform our conversations  - from everyday irritations to the big conversations that seem impossible to approach. Resources: The Centre for Nonviolent Communication, where there are useful links to feelings and needs lists: https://cnvc.org/  
In this episode, we begin with the first question: why bother thinking about conflict? Can you learn how to handle conversations better and what happens when you do?Plus: how our brains are wired to freeze, fight or fly and why thinking of an iceberg can help you.
Comments (1)

Susan Hutt

These are excellent podcasts. I wish I’d heard about the model for non-violent communication years ago. It might have saved a lot of explosions. I loved hearing from the different contributors; all seem to have a wealth of experience to draw on. I thoroughly recommend these to everyone who has to have difficult conversations or deal with conflict, and who doesn’t? Many thanks, good job.

Jun 27th
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